| ShaadiTimes canvassed today's men and women to get their spin on, 'What freedom in marriage means to you', ' Has marriage liberated you or has curbed your freedom' and the most pertinent question, 'Does freedom in marriage end harmony in family?' And here is what they say:
Gaurav Chanana television actor
"Freedom in relationship is subjective to background, experience and ethnic space. I think you should be able to set limits together. For me the quantity of freedom is important. I think you have to give your partner enough space to pursue their goals in career etc... but you have to say no to out of relationship affairs. You have to have a mutual understanding, and although it's easy to say forgive and forget, it's not really that easy to do in real life. You have to be liberal but that does not mean having sex with someone else etc..."
Alekh Sangal, Actor / Dancer
"My parents were liberal for their time. They both worked and managed their careers and families together and with respect. If two people don't make their stand clear about where the relationship is going they both are going to suffer. Competition and pressure is much more today for both men and women than it was for previous generations. There seems to be less time to spend together. Thus for a relationship to succeed you have to communicate about each aspect of your life together. In days gone past everything was done gradually, the courtship the romance etc... Today everything is here and now. It's immediate. Thus boredom sets in and before you know it the relationship is finished which I think affects the longevity in marriage."
Dimpy Sudan, Volunteer Art Of Living / Clothes Designer
"You have to draw a fine line in relationships. You have to live in a society that is liberated, but in the name of progression you don't want to let go. And letting go to what extent? Expectations reduce joy. Being in the present moment give 100% and don't expect all the fruits of your destiny. Even though some may say 'it's a man's world.' It's definitely a woman's world. Woman can achieve greater heights, they have more to give and are emotionally stronger."
Shaheen Abbas, Jewellery designer
"I feel I'm in a good time and of course I am independent, more so after marriage. To me freedom in marriage means respecting each other's wishes, values and way of thinking. I need my space and you need your's is all rubbish beyond a point of time. Other than your work front if you need space, please don't get married. Freedom in a relationship means being comfortable with each other so that you don't have to fear that when you say something and you know you will be judged. Today I am proud to say that I enjoy this kind of freedom in my marital life. My husband, Roshan has given me the wings to fly... he brings focus to my work and helps it to blossom.
I believe in this century this is the first time that we have found our own voice, our own identity, own space. Even if a woman is a housewife there are so many things that she can do!. I think we have scored a point over the last generation because our parents' attitude have changed. They dream big for their daughters and give them education so that they realise their rights and change their lives. Even men have changed their typical chauvinist attitude of ghar pe baitho and roti banao . They have become sensible in letting the women lead their lives as they want."
Vaishnavi, TV actress
"To me freedom in marriage is being able to be myself without pretending to be some one else all the time. Also it means freedom in making choices and taking decisions. I am very lucky that I enjoy this freedom in my marriage. In spite of the career I am in, my husband trusts me completely and I do not need to ask him for whatever I do.
Liberation from all the atrocities that women were facing down the ages had to happen. It is a welcome change today but sometimes women start putting this freedom to wrong use. You can see it everywhere in the media. You should not forget to respect people's feelings and the society.
I would give thumbs up to men for liberating women. Now men have started realising their potential and have started accepting that she also has an equal role in life. Globalisation and interaction between cultures have hastened the process by setting examples and thus broadened the mindset of the people."
Thus we see that with India, Indian women have also taken small steps of independence. Today women have built their own identity leaving behind their own footprints in the sands of time. This in between generation is no longer a voice not to be heard. They are no longer just someone's mother or wife. Here they have scored a mark... They have not forgotten the true values and tradition of the Indian society.
Rohini Bhatia Singh
Amrita Biswas
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