Arnav-Khushi FF: ASR Decrypted - Part 5 on pg9 - Page 5

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Posted: 11 years ago
#41
Heyy!! Okay so I reserved earlier but it's not letting me edit my post :( So I thought if make a new one! :D

Anyways like always you've kept it so intriguing! And I just love that(:

You added a bit of Masti and Fun into this otherwise serious and mysterious SS.

Buaji and her "I must get Khushi married" craze is too good. But again you've changed the character along with keeping it intact!

Khushi definately doesnt want to worry about marrying anyone right now, or is it just that she wants to fall in love and not get an arranged marriage? If its that then your Khushi and the show Khushi are very much alike(:

But also if she doesn't want the marriage at all then she's changed but the same. How? Lol well Khushi is Khushi and she will do anything to make others around her happy and so she agrees.

Then again when she speaks with Shashi sir! She tells him what she wants and that she will do it only thy way because otherwise she's not doing her best. Khushi always does what's expected and more.

Again with the pleasing others around her! Arnav couldn't trust her because he was chained to a chair and being watched while she took notes on him like he was some experiment. And so to e able to do her best and get him to trust her she has all of that removed.

And now to Arnav! As they're taking him into the room he realizes how last time this woman got to him, made him react to her, made him feel by just a mention of a few certain words. And as usual he hated it! It makes him feel unsuperior and weak and he can't allow that.

So what does he do? He takes on his "Angry Young Murderer" mode. (yes I know it's "Angry Young Man" but I adjusted it to this ASR) he lashes out on her for making him feel weak, making him lose control, for breaking through the walls he was determined to keep up.

So once again! I'd say bravo! This was amazing(: I read it twice to make sure I got everything!
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Posted: 11 years ago
#42

Originally posted by: dorindakate

OMG he's thinking of strangling her???


I realized he was near the edge, from their first interview, and that as always what others think and society's norms mean nothing to him...

Still intrigued as to WHY he killed Shyam, how and why Di died, if the secrets of the past are the clue to what happened, and on and on...

Needless to say I just LOVE the whole thing...

Amazing writing and imagination...

Anxiously but patiently waiting to find out how Khushi responds to his attack...

Thanks for the pm...

 

πŸ˜ƒ Thank you so much for the beautifully detailed comment!! It feels wonderful when readers engage with the story like you do. Unfortunately, the secrets will take some time to unravel, but I will give little insights into the whole mystery in every update.

Thank you once again! Really appreciate it! 

Originally posted by: vishnudaughter

Wow amazingly written
I can visualize everything
Thanks for the pm


Aww, thank you!! That means a lot to me πŸ˜³

Originally posted by: tsultana

First of all thank very much for the pm. Its greatly appreciated. 
Its a great update! Its fresh and intense. I am sooo curious to knw arnavs past. Also how khushi will build up trust with arnav. He lunged at her and got her at throat. Will het tears stop him?? Wat a cliff hanger!! 
Again thank u


Omg, thank YOU for commenting! πŸ˜ƒ I am so glad you're enjoying it so far!

Originally posted by: sakthi25

Unique and typical writing style...
You are pretty clear with your words that brings out the exact picture of what you want to say...


That is very flattering! πŸ˜³ Thank you very much! 

Originally posted by: What_the

Its a nice concept...something new...really enjoyed reading the way you portrayed their emotions...frustrated and sick of thr system asr, talented, sincere yet a little green when it comes to the real world khushi...


You should change the title to ff though! Or it would end up being a very long short story... :)


Thank you for the nice and detailed comment πŸ˜ƒ It's great that you like the concept!
Now that I'm reading your comment, I realise the difference between a SS and a FF πŸ˜³ Hehe. I haven't written for IF before, so kind of "green" as you'd say..
Thanks for the heads up! πŸ˜ƒ

Originally posted by: icegurl789

amazing...far shocking then what i expected...arnav is showing his vile, pathetic part to her to terrify her in the process and partially to mask down his thoughts haunting him,hovering him 24*7...those hazel orbs calming his senses down...trust problem i guess!:)


wonderful update!


Eggjactly! πŸ˜ƒ That's a bang-on interpretation of what's brewing inside ASR's mind, expressed very eloquently!!

Originally posted by: ashred12

wow...very unique n interesting concept...pls continue soon...


Thank you, will do! πŸ˜ƒ

Originally posted by: onetwothree

amazing...πŸ€—...lovely update...continueee...πŸ˜ƒ 


πŸ€— Awww, thank you!

Originally posted by: Auroni.92

This part ws amazingly written...very impactful..
And i can clearly understand arnav here...why he wud supposed to trust khuhsi when he dsnt know abt her intentions a bit...but still his act did scare me...hope he'll understand her by the time...
Cont..


πŸ˜ƒ Thanks so much! I'm glad you are able to engage with the character and understand his point of view so well!


Thanks! πŸ˜ƒ


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Posted: 11 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: Arina_R

Heyy!! Okay so I reserved earlier but it's not letting me edit my post :( So I thought if make a new one! :D


And I had to respond to your comment in a whole new post, because it's so delightfully detailed! πŸ˜ƒ I love it! Thank you!!

Anyways like always you've kept it so intriguing! And I just love that(:

Hehe.. And I like to keep the suspense going πŸ˜‰

You added a bit of Masti and Fun into this otherwise serious and mysterious SS.

Yeah, I wanted to reveal some of the other aspects of Khushi's life, while maintaining the focus on ASR, keeping in mind (what I thought would be) the readers' expectations. In fact, you're the only person so far who has commented specifically about the Buaji-marriage part, so I guess I was right to have kept it short. I will be peppering future updates with such stuff, but again, making sure there is at least some ASR factored in the story. 

Buaji and her "I must get Khushi married" craze is too good. But again you've changed the character along with keeping it intact!

Khushi definately doesnt want to worry about marrying anyone right now, or is it just that she wants to fall in love and not get an arranged marriage? If its that then your Khushi and the show Khushi are very much alike(: 

It is the latter πŸ˜Š

Glad you picked up on the similarities!! πŸ˜ƒ I definitely wanted to keep the essence of Khushi's character (and of the other characters too) similar to the show's.

But also if she doesn't want the marriage at all then she's changed but the same. How? Lol well Khushi is Khushi and she will do anything to make others around her happy and so she agrees.

Exactly! Even though she's more mature in the FF, that quintessential part of what makes Khushi Khushi, I just had to keep.

Then again when she speaks with Shashi sir! She tells him what she wants and that she will do it only thy way because otherwise she's not doing her best. Khushi always does what's expected and more.

Again with the pleasing others around her! Arnav couldn't trust her because he was chained to a chair and being watched while she took notes on him like he was some experiment. And so to e able to do her best and get him to trust her she has all of that removed.

Your interpretation is bang-on once again! πŸ˜ƒ It feels great, as a writer, to see one's vision translate so beautifully in the readers' minds!

And now to Arnav! As they're taking him into the room he realizes how last time this woman got to him, made him react to her, made him feel by just a mention of a few certain words. And as usual he hated it! It makes him feel unsuperior and weak and he can't allow that.

So what does he do? He takes on his "Angry Young Murderer" mode. (yes I know it's "Angry Young Man" but I adjusted it to this ASR) he lashes out on her for making him feel weak, making him lose control, for breaking through the walls he was determined to keep up.

Typical ASR! πŸ˜† 

So once again! I'd say bravo! This was amazing(: I read it twice to make sure I got everything!

I read your comment a few times too, just because it made me so happy! πŸ˜ƒ


Thank you so, so much for the comment!! πŸ˜ƒ I absolutely love the way you engage with the story! And I really, truly appreciate it a lot πŸ˜³ 


Edited by errrm - 11 years ago
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Posted: 11 years ago
#44
Awh I don't get a reply to my LONG comment :(
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Posted: 11 years ago
#45
@ Arina: Meri yeh majaal! Check th post thats just above urs :P lol.

Thanks Rajul! :)
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Posted: 11 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: errrm

@ Arina: Meri yeh majaal! Check th post thats just above urs :P lol.

Thanks Rajul! :)



Hehe...oops lol. I didn't notice since it was all broken up I thought they were all different comments lol. I'll pay more attention next time. Anyways I'm a writer myself and so only a writer can understand another writer right? ;) lol

Anyways update soon!
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Posted: 11 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: Arina_R



Hehe...oops lol. I didn't notice since it was all broken up I thought they were all different comments lol. I'll pay more attention next time. Anyways I'm a writer myself and so only a writer can understand another writer right? ;) lol

Anyways update soon!

 

No worries, I understand, bade bade deshon aisi chhoti chhoti baatein.. πŸ˜‰
But I'm glad you said that I hadn't commented, rather than kept it to yourself and let the MU stay there (like ASR would have done πŸ˜†)
Yep will update soon πŸ˜ƒ


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Posted: 11 years ago
#48
OHHH MYYY GOD ( janet style πŸ˜‰)

Just read the whole FF
Its awesome
Loved the setting...the plot...the characters...even buajiπŸ˜‰

And did he actually grabbed her throat?? *shudder*

waiting for more

P.S. for the next 2 mnths i'll be travelling and shifting to new city...so will buddy you once i settle down completely!!! Once again...awesome FF.
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Posted: 11 years ago
#49

Originally posted by: errrm


No worries, I understand, bade bade deshon aisi chhoti chhoti baatein..πŸ˜‰
But I'm glad you said that I hadn't commented, rather than kept it to yourself and let the MU stay there (like ASR would have doneπŸ˜†)
Yep will update soonπŸ˜ƒ




Haha, yepp. ;D

I think I've seen enough of ASR to know to always say and ask before I make decisions myself :P MU bohot dekh li maine ;P lol

Anyways, can't wait for the next part!
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Posted: 11 years ago
#50
 
 

Part 4

 

Arnav felt a strangely intoxicating warmth in his fingers, as they clenched around the girl's throat. And yet those gnarled hands felt disconnected to the rest of him, as though they belonged to another, and he was just a helpless spectator who watched as she choked wordlessly, her wide glassy eyes tearing up, her body struggling in vain. He could feel in the throbbing knottiness of the veins in her neck, that the bloodstream to her brain was being interrupted. Soon her limp body had given way and fainted. In a few moments, it would be too late.

 

He looked at the glassed walls of the interrogation room with urgency. The guards should have been there by now. The only possible explanation was that there was nobody watching them. She had not lied. He let go, horrified at his own beastliness, and felt her collapse onto his thumping chest.

 

She was breathing; she would live.

 

Arnav's ravenous eyes turned towards the door. When he had been taken into the interrogation room, he had observed that the warden - pitiably stupid as he was - had not locked the door behind him. At least he was quite sure he had not discerned the sound of a lock click into place. He placed the girl on the floor, rushed to the door, gently turned the handle and pushed the door open ever so slightly. He was right, it was unlocked.

 

He felt his heartbeat quicken and his mind began to race until his thoughts blurred into a feverish, dizzying haze. There were close-circuit cameras all over the place, and he knew he would have to encounter the guards at some point if he tried to escape. He was hopelessly outnumbered. The odds of him somehow finding himself on the other side of the iron gates, were dismally, laughably low.

 

Yet, there was a chance, slim as it may be, that he would just manage to make it outside, armed with his vicious desire for freedom, and the electrifying adrenaline that was surging through him. He felt that primal part of him awaken, that part that just wanted to live, no matter what the cost... That part that persuaded him that he would manage to outsmart them, and if need be, kill whoever stood in his way.

 

And even if they managed to catch him, at worst, all they could do to him was torture him until he pleaded for death. He knew that he would live through it all, taking comfort in the fact that at least he had tried and that they would never be able to crush his spirit.

 

But something stopped him. Something in the inert form that lay on the ground a few metres away. The shrink, whatever her name was, was alive, but her breaths were painfully laboured, her pulse was weak. He could not leave her in that state. A state he was responsible for. A state that she had, in the end, done little to deserve. His rational side immediately scoffed. On seeing him escape, surely, someone would come to the interrogation room and help her. And if they did not help her in time... she would die, for no fault of hers.

 

He heaved a testy sigh, irritated by the absurd direction that his uncontrollable thoughts were taking. Time was of the essence here. It was probably a split second that would ultimately mark that critical difference between the sweet air of freedom and his inhumane captivity in that repellent dump.

 

All the same, he knew he would not be able to leave like that - maybe he was not the unscrupulous monster they all made him out to be after all. And then it struck him: he could revive her, and then make a run for it. There was no way she would be able to catch or stop him, given her weak condition. The different warring voices in his mind seemed to reconcile over this reasoning.

 

She felt like a doll in his hands, with her petite pixie-like frame. He averted his eyes from the ruthless finger marks imprinted on her slender neck and cupped her marble-like face in his unworthy hands. Slowly, he bent down until his lips brushed against hers, and forcing them upon, breathed into her mouth. Nothing. He pressed his hands against her rib cage, and tried again. Finally she let out a small cough, then a louder one that caused her entire body to convulse. He watched as colour returned to her cheeks, and her translucent eyelids fluttered until they parted at last to reveal teary orbs of glistening brown.

 

He got up quickly, refusing to allow his eyes to meet hers, and leapt towards the door. But it opened before he had a chance to reach out for the door-knob. The warden and his sycophants. It was over. He had foregone what could have been his only opportunity to escape, all for some ridiculously cheesy attempt at heroism. Such was his rage that he hardly heard the yelling, he hardly felt any pain when his face was roughly slammed down onto the table, twice.

 

But she, the shrink, intervened and, in a wispy croak, made up some cock-and-bull story, about her having fainted due to the heat.

 

"He was only going out to get help, for me," she said slowly, every word a painfully arduous task.

 

Arnav stared at her. His face was devoid of expression, so as not to bolster the warden's suspicions. But had he been able to, he would have fashioned his face into an incredulous, but amused smirk. The girl was insane, an absolute madcap! First she brought herself into facing a reputedly cold-blooded murderer such as himself. Then she conjured the guts to provoke him. Then she got his handcuffs removed, and now, after he had, as far as appearances would suggest, attempted to kill her, she was making excuses for him. Unbelievable!

 

Either this was part of some obscure kind of dastardly scheme that he was unable to fathom. Or, more plausibly, he had overestimated her all along. She was not the manipulative, pretentious shrink. She was the perfect combination of stupid and emotional, and would play right into his hands. Arnav Singh Raizada would be in control once again, and she would, very conveniently, get him out of prison.

 

The guards and the warden had left the room. Surprisingly they had not noticed the finger-marks on her neck. Perhaps they were so excruciatingly visible to him because of the guilt that weighed down upon his heart, prickling his eyes, obstructing his throat. He felt that he should apologise, but the words felt oddly rusty and out of place in his mouth.It had been too long.

 

"I'm sorry," she said then, softly, almost as if she meant it.

 

Arnav, rightly taken aback, said nothing. If one overlooked the sincerity that appeared etched in her eyes, one might be inclined to think of it as sarcasm. But then, how could one possibly avert one's eyes from hers?

 

She walked towards him, in tantalisingly slow, measured steps, until she was too close for comfort, and mumbled, barely moving her lips, "I don't think they've left this time." And maintaining an unreadable expression on her face, she led him to his chair.

 

Arnav reasoned that she was surely right. One could have surmised from the look in the warden's wary eyes that his doubts had not been assuaged, and he would be watching them, perhaps even out of sheer curiosity. He gave her a slight nod, even as he wondered why she would want to warn him. Was it to fence off any imminent violent attacks that she thought he might be tempted towards? And why had she apologised when he was the one who had -?

 

She seemed to have read his question,

"I understand why you would be so angry," she answered, "I was very insensitive the last time we met. I'm sorry for that."  

 

She was a most peculiar person. He was not sure that he would ever be able to trust her, but he felt that she was... just a little different, somehow. It almost made him feel mildly uncomfortable with what he was scheming.

 

"What's your name?" he asked without thinking, nudged by a small unfamiliar part of him, as though it mattered.

 

"Khushi," she replied, and her lips curved, ever so slightly. Arnav Singh Raizada was changing.

 

 

Edited by errrm - 11 years ago