My thoughts...my disappointment

Your dream was shattered. You are back to your home...let me correct it... Back to your house (a home is where the heart is) But what has changed really? Your hopes for a better life? Your dream to break the tradition of a bedni? Has that changed? Yes I can understand your feelings of losing someone you love. I can understand your feeling of emptiness...of a life that seems not worth living. The fact that you could stand and deny forgiveness to TVS shows you are a strong woman (frankly if I love someone to such depths I would not have been able to bear that pain... Even if I have no intention of taking him back I would have tried to make him understand why we cannot be together). But what you did (1) not forgiving TVS (though he deserves not being forgiven) (2) offering yourself up for sardhakai knowing how much it would hurt your mother.

What is your intention Sugni? Why sardhakai? Is there no other way? I suspect you are not only punishing yourself (for thinking you could be married to TVS) and you are punishing TVS as he did not want sardhakai for. Has he not challenged you in the beginning? But most of all you are punishing your mother because of her the truth of TVS was shown, because of her your dreams and what you thought your life has been shattered. You offered yourself for sardhakai out of pure revenge against TVS and your mother. Or perhaps was it a trick you are playing? If you cannot marry TVS you would rather unite with him through sardhakai? Us that why you kept looking? Knowing he never want you to go through sadharkai you are forcing his hand? I hope not. I thought more of you.

So what changed? You are back to square 1, so the villagers will gossip about you but that will just be a 7 day wonder - forgotten as soon as another scandal comes up.

Out of anger you cut your nose to spite your face. Your mother brought you up hoping to break the bedni tradition. A tradition that you also decried. So why? You are aleady in an embarrassing situation why make people laugh even more by doing the very thing you condemned? I thought that since you are such a strong girl you would bounce back and show the world that you do not need to be married to a thakur to get respect. You would have gained so much respect if you had only worked to show that a bedni can come up in life without sardhakai...without having to marry a thakur or some such person. I am disappointed in you. I thought you were a woman of substance but you are only a young girl who is throwing tantrums because her doll was taken away from her.

I hope Sugni for the sake of womankind you will realise how wrong you are. What did you say - life gave you two choices. - wrong Sugni - life has given you an abundance of choices but you chose to see only two.

Grow up girl. Life throws curve balls at us all the time. I hope there is no sadharkai but that is probably in vain.

These are just random thoughts to vent my frustration.

Btw :) I still don't think TVS is the right match for Sugni. She so deserves a better person. I literally cringed watching a matured man behaving like a love sick schoolboy. Sugni really deserves someone better :")

It encompasses all the questions that one would want to ask Sugni. She as such a strong character and she is ruining it by being so foolish.

I had hoped that unlike this usual twist, Sugni would remain strong in her principles. I wanted her to be the Indian version of Jane Eyre and leave her Rochester to make her own place in the world. I had hoped that she would stick to her principles however strong the pull of her love or the pain of its betrayal was.

I wished for her to show TVS that love is a part of life but life is bigger and more than just love. You do not waste or wile away because of disappointments..

But unlike my hopes and wishes, the world of Indian serials has made Sugni out to be the woman who would become weak and wile away in pain and hurt, a woman who forgets herself and what she stood for in the name of a love that certainly gave her bliss but also left her wounded. Sad

Gulabiya to me is a woman of substance - she had to carry on the bedni tradition and although she hated it, she did not shy away from her duty - she was from the last generation where choices were not so apparent. But she did not want her daughter to suffer the same fate and she had brought her up to defy that fate - and Sugni appeared at first to be doing just that - until she met TVS and all her hopes and dreams were forgotten in the hot flush of her love for TVS - a generation above her - but as far as she was concerned, TVS was the only one who respected her, who wanted to put her happiness before anything else - but sadly TVS was not in a position to do so...