Arthrities

An inebriated vagrant sat next to a priest on a bus. After reading his newspaper for a few minutes, he turned to the priest and queried, "Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest, glad to find an opportunity to drive some fear of God into this corrupted fellow, replied, "Listen, son, it's the punishment delivered by God for being an alcoholic, for being a lecherous deviant and living a life of loose morals and irresponsibility ."
"Is that for real father? I am shocked!" the drunk said rather sadly and resumed reading his paper. After a few minutes, the priest turned to the drunk and said softly, "I'm sorry, son. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. How long have you had arthritis?"
"Oh, father, I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope does."

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