ArHi FF!! Event Horizon - Ch 8(A), Sep 11, Pg 25 - Page 9

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QuiteThoughtful thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#81

Note: Hi Guys! How are you all doing? I have been traveling and...surviving redundancy. Yeah redundancy of two very senior folks I had to work with whose knowledge can be found in second year engineering syllabus. So I was stuck between 'let me dig a hole right here and die' and 'the technical solution you provided makes Commodore 64 look like futuristic technology'. Anyway I am back, embracing my city once again and desperately trying to find sometime to breathe slowly, braid my hair and...write.

So here is the plan. I don't have too much of time on my hands to write very long updates so I thought I will post small updates frequently - say once a day or once in two days. This way the story gets its own flow and dynamics is manageable.

Do you guys this it's a wise idea? Tell me in your comments. I get all gooey when I see a comment. I mean comments on my posts on Comic Vine is great but on IF - its just phenomenal!

This is Comic Vine, in case you are wondering. (http://www.comicvine.com/)

On to story now!

Chapter 4a:

It took her all of seven minutes to realize that the silence in her house had premeditated expectation for her presence. Her sister was in corner folding clothes her hands mechanical and her mind elsewhere. She called her not once or twice but four times.

"Oh. Khushi, you are awake," Payal said monotonously and went back to her chore. It wasn't an anticipated response and it made Khushi bit nervous.

"Is everything alright?" Khushi asked noting her sister's slumped shoulder. Payal's hands stilled. She twisted the towel she had picked up to fold contemplating on an answer. Finally she sighed.

"You know this house's owner is related to our neighbors back home, right?" Khushi nodded at that. "They were here yesterday and we were talking which led to them raking up the events which happened months ago. Everyone was upset after that." Payal said softly. Khushi swallowed. Upset, was probably a tame word here.

"Why didn't you tell me last night?" She objected. If she had known…if she had known…then what? Could she have undone the past? She breathed out hard and long.

"I did tell you Khushi," Payal turned around and said her eyes sharp and her voice steel. "But you were far too indulged in your idyllic romanticism to recognize the tragedy of reality," she threw the clothes in her hands on floor and walked out of the door, slamming to punctuate her point better.

Tears sprung in Khushi's eyes at Payal's words. They weren't untrue but they were…harsh. It was her choice, her decision, her words which had brought them to this state and she never once repented her actions. Dowry was and forever is a social evil; she would never let her family succumb to it.

Unfortunately her family did end up succumbing to bankruptcy and yapping tongues which drove them to the edge of catharsis. The dam had burst and her father accepted reality and sold everything that people were ready to buy for a reasonable sum.

She stood under shower fully still in her nightdress and allowed the cold water to cool the heat in her veins. Disappointment, anger, intense dislike and sudden weariness flushed through her system along with water. She cried for her sister's halted wedding, her mother's recoiled face at a relative's insensitive remark, her father's sheer disappointment, her aunt's disbelief and her own ideals. Ideals sometimes could lead to drastic actions and even amidst accusation and hostility, she stood by them.

In her tears, in her heart break and in general coldness that surrounded her, she stood by her ideals.

*****

To be continued.
Shweta1691 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#82

In her tears, in her heart break and in general coldness that surrounded her, she stood by her ideals.


U go girl!!!👏
And plz do update when u can...love to read😃

P.S. i copied the line from ur post and now its not letting me change the font or color,😡...sometimes i just hate my ipad
Edited by Shweta1691 - 13 years ago
716245 thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#83
really nice story loving the emotions and can't wait for the other part.👍🏼
ps. thanks for the pm
Krishnaluv94 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#84
That was.. sad. I can't think of what else to write...
Can't wait to read more! I would be glad to read the shorter updates. :)
Edited by Krishnaluv94 - 12 years ago
-PoisonIvy thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#85
That is indeed sad. To be punished for standing up for your beliefs and against a social evil. This update was short but highly effective in conveying even the minutest of emotions that coursed through Khushi. So I definitely think short updates at regular intervals will work beautifully! :)
Amti4u thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#86
Superb... just cant wait for the next part... lovely..
applesauce. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#87

Sad!
Superbly written.You brought the emotions out so well.

And Yes!I am fine with whatever updates you gv..long or short doesnt matter..as lng as I get to read!:P
And also U have time constraints So I dnt want to sound selfish.
Jammy- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#88
You've brought out the emotions so well!! The last line- fantastic!!

As long as the story moves forward, I am fine with both, longer or shorter updates!

Thanks for the PM. :)
Sur_10 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#89
Looks like after a point, ideals cost too high and happiness becomes a need than a want
loving QT-CN convos :)
CynicalNoob thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#90
You just did not say Comic Vine. I must admit that I was taken aback in surprise when I saw that. The thing about fan-wars: bang on! I am yet to absorb the dynamics of this forum and I must say that it has been a difficult experience. Something tells me that the experience is little off for you too?

Every character in this story has a conflict - doing right and being practical. Being practical doesn't mean immoral; not always at least. But the distinction between the two gets narrower and lines get blurry and dotted when you add humane element to it. What is important? Family or principles? When one's family embraces one of their member's ideology, would that make them happier? Would that make them right? I feel sorry for Khushi for doing what she did and living with repercussions.

Do I believe she did the right thing? Now, I am not sure.

CN

PS: Which one of the trinity?

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