Swaron FF: Living the dream - Page 92

Originally posted by: Sawyer_Tom

Nice...we'll complete this thread in no time. And Kanks I think it's too late to think about unethical issues on this forum.

Nidhi, take ur time, a suggestion if u wanna end this thread fast, reply to all comments. It wont be spamming too then!

Hey people! Yes yes, I know. I am FINALLY updating. This, I think was the biggest break till now. Sorry, for that. Anyways, I'll get to the point of my rant. This time I've changed the narration style because I felt a third person's point of view would be the best way to go about this. So let me know how it has turned out. Don't worry only the first part is written that way. Also, this FF is heading towards his end. Thought I should let you know. And the most important thing, thank you all for the comments and likes. This time I'll try to reply to each and every comment. Thanks for sticking with me so far.

Chapter 27

"Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on.
I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you."
--Jonathan Safran Foer.

A sharp ringing woke me up from my dream-filled sleep. Earlier my dreams used to be my reality. My dreams used to be better than my reality. But all that has changed now.

I rubbed my eyes trying to rub the sleep right out of it. My bedside digital clock told me it was 12:17.

Why was I hearing ringing noises in the middle of the night?

Now completely awake, I tiptoed out of the bed and quietly opened the door of the bedroom- my bedroom- I thought happily. I had a clear enough view of the living room and there I saw my sister sitting on the couch, deep in thought.

I was about to go up to her when the doorbell- that's what the sharp ringing was- rang out again. My sister had apparently not heard it the first time for she looked up with a start and hurriedly went to open the door. From where I was standing, I couldn't see the door so I had to stay in suspense for a few minutes till my sister came into view followed by...Swayam.

I rubbed my eyes once again to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Why would Swayam come to our house at this hour?

"Swayam." Said my sister, softly. I might as well use her name for clarity purposes.

"What happened?" asked Swayam worriedly, probably under the impression that the house was on fire.

"I need to talk to you." Said Sharon.

Well, that was disappointing. I felt the whole house-on-fire scenario would have been much more dramatic to watch.

As soon as those words left my sister's mouth, Swayam started acting all weird.

I always thought he was weird.

"Now?" asked Swayam, looking wistfully at the door.

"Yes." She said, firmly.

My sister has a way with people, or maybe just Swayam. He can never seem to refuse her when she is being adamant. Maybe he thinks it's the less painful path.

Smart man.

"Well, what's up?" he said, his voice and mannerisms indicating his resignation.

My sister spluttered a little trying to find the right opening words. Finally she settled on-

"What is going on with you?"

"What do you mean?" he said, getting all defensive.

Apparently, he said the wrong thing because I saw my sister fly up into a rage. I knew the symptoms because I was probably as bad tempered as she was when provoked.

"What do I mean?" she shouted, as I saw Swayam flinch. "What do I mean! You very well know what do I mean!"

"Sharon, I really have no idea what the hell are you talking about." Said Swayam, calmly.

Bad move.

Sometimes his calmness could be more infuriating. Trust me.

"Your annoying, aloof behaviour is the hell I'm talking about!" she continued shouting.

I think she had forgotten that I was supposed to be sleeping in the other room. Anger does that to you. I understand it better than anyone else.

"I'm behaving quite normally, thank you very much." He said, folding his arms across his chest, as calm as ever.

How does he do it?

You're...you're...you're ignoring me!" she said, gesturing wildly with her hands.

"I'm not. I'm talking to you, aren't I?" he said. He very subtly moved a little away from my sister. Probably under the impression that she was going to hit him. I wouldn't be surprised.

"It's not the same!" She retorted.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" he asked, still as calm as the murky green surface of a lake on a windless, moonlit night.

Dude, get the hint.

My sister took a deep, calming breath. It does help, you know. She tried reasoning with him.

"Please Swayam tell me what's going on with you. I know something's up. Why won't you tell me?"

She paused, thinking that she probably sounded too whiny. Which she did.

"I can help you. I'm there for you."

For a split second I saw Swayam's expression shift. But it was over even before it had started and he once again regained his emotionless attitude.

I wondered why he was acting like that. He was perfectly normal when he talked to me, then why would he treat my sister like that. I could feel that irrational anger crawl up my spine and I tried to shake it off, thinking it probably wasn't my business.

Of course, sneaking around like this and listening in on other people's conversations wasn't exactly my business too.

But hey, I'm ten years old and curiosity is my middle name.

So shoot me.

"You're wrong. Nothing is wrong with me. You're just delusional." He said, rather rudely, I might add. "If that's all, I think I'm goin-"

He was turning around when my sister out of nowhere pulled on his arm, made him face her and planted a quick, sharp slap on his cheek.

Okay, I did NOT expect that.

That had to hurt.

Swayam looked more stunned than in pain, though. He stared at her in shock and she stared back at him, equally shocked.

Wow, and I thought this wouldn't be dramatic enough.

This was easily more dramatic than the house-on-fire thing, hands down.

At this point though, my excitement was fizzled out as I saw Swayam grab my sister by her arms and bodily pull her towards him. My sister was still under the previous shock and this had to be unnerving. She lay limply in his arms as he more or less supported her weight. I wondered if it was time to intervene.

"What the hell is the matter with you!" he said, his eyes glinting with anger.

By now my sister had gained back some of her sense. Not the one to be intimidated she barked back-

"What the hell is the matter with you! Why are you doing this, shutting me out? I'm your friend!"

"Friend?" he said, incredulously, leaving her. "Friend? Are you kidding me, Sharon? We are NOT friends!"

Ouch.

My sister took a few faltering steps back as though those words were pushing her away from him.

"I told you I was in love with you. I kissed you. You kissed me back. And then you ran out on me. How on earth are we supposed to be friends after something like that?" He asked, hurt and pain, spilled all over his face.

Somehow, deep down, I knew he was in love with her. And that she was in love with him too. Didn't he know that? But what's with all this kissing? I mean, no offense but...Eww!

My sister, though, seemed to be more hurt and more in pain.

I don't think they have ever talked about this before.

"So this is my fault now?"asked Sharon in a pained voice.

"I don't blame you. I'm fine with it. Maybe we just weren't meant to be." He said, in a low voice.

My sister, though, ignored him and continued as if he hadn't spoken at all.

"Is it my fault that you were in love with me? Is it my fault that I am trying to help you? Is it my fault that I'm trying to be a good friend to you? Is it my fault that I care about you?" she shouted, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

Swayam started to say something but my sister didn't give him a chance.

"Get. Out." She said, clenching her teeth.

Whoa. I felt this was quite an overreaction.

"Sharon, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" Swayam started.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. For actually giving a damn. I was under the illusion that you and I were friends. But apparently we weren't. And this...this pretence has to end now. Get out." My sister said, icily.

Swayam was about to say something, but my sister's expression silenced him. They stared at each other for a few minutes before Swayam again donned his cold, expressionless mask and strode off into the night.

My sister stared at the space where he had stood a few minutes ago and after a while I could make out the tears silently making their way out of her eyes as if on a funeral march.

Before I could go and console her, she quite suddenly turned around and went to her bedroom which was adjacent to mine. I don't think she saw me. I didn't want her to know that I had just heard their conversation so I too went to bed.

But I couldn't sleep properly that night because throughout the night I could hear silent sobs making their way through the thin walls of my bedroom.

____________________________

She stared at the clock on the wall as the time ticked away as slow as a worm.

The tears on her face were still wet and so was the pillow on which she rested her head.

The more she thought about what had happened a few hours ago the more guilty she felt about it.

She shouldn't have done that. She shouldn't have lost her temper like that.

What about him? He too shouldn't have said all those things.

His words echoed around in her head.

You ran out on me...you ran out on me...you ran out on me...

Well he wasn't wrong. She did run out on him. They had left all those things hanging like that. They were bound to come out sometime or the other.

But she wished it hadn't come out like this.

Another tear made its way out of her eyes. But this time she made no attempt to wipe it away.

He was right though. They were not friends. Not anymore.

She didn't realize that it was morning already until the first, muted rays of the sun filtered into her room, illuminating the greenness of her eyes, which were already shining due to the moistness in them.

The digital ringing of her alarm clock brought her back to the world she didn't enjoy living in anymore.

She turned her head sideways to see that it was already 7:00 a.m.

She took a deep breath and got up.

____________________________

Kankshita slurped in a spoonful of cereal looking at her worriedly.

She didn't notice as she absentmindedly stirred her cereal round and round in her bowl.

"Where's Swayam?" asked Kankshita.

His name jolted her out from her thoughts and she looked at her little sister with a lost expression on her face.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well he usually comes around in the morning to drop me to school before you guys go off to college." Said Kankshita, tentatively.

"Yeah, from now on he won't come." She said, stoically.

Before Kankshita could say something, Sharon grabbed her backpack and said-

"Let's go or you'll be late for school."

____________________________

She hauled herself up on the wall that bordered the St. Louis school and sat there dangling her legs.

It was then that she saw him walking by looking extremely moody.

"Hey!" she yelled. "Hey you!"

He looked up at her shout and turned his head sideways, confusedly.

He finally saw her sitting on the wall and jogged up to her.

"What are you doing here?" asked Swayam.

"Duh-uh! I go to school here!" said Kankshita, giving him the pitying expression that she always saved for him.

"I know that! I meant what are you doing here sitting on the wall?" he asked, making himself comfortable next to her.

"I think Sharon has some work which is why she's late. I'm waiting for her." She said.

He nodded.

"So why did you two fight last night?" she asked, bluntly.

He jerked his head to look at her.

"Wait, you know about that?" he asked, squinting his eyes from the glare of the sun.

"Yup. I saw the whole thing." She said.

He stared at the ground apparently lost in thought.

"Well?" she prompted.

"Nothing. We just have our differences." He said, smiling brightly as though it wasn't a big deal.

"You love her, don't you?" she said.

"Yes. But I can't." He said, his eyes becoming relentlessly cold.

"What does that mean?" she asked, confusion clouding her face.

"I can't give her the happiness she deserves." He said, his face becoming hard as a stone.

"But she loves you!" she cried.

His expression softened a little.

"Maybe. But she will never realize it. And even if she does I don't think she'll allow herself to actually admit it." he said.

"Both of you are idiots!" said Kankshita, with firm conviction.

That made him smile.

"So how's school going for you?" he said.

"Well I thought that I'm smarter than the rest but I think people are just more stupid than I am. Especially in this school. I think school makes you more stupid." She said matter-of-factly, shaking her head.

"So true." He said, laughing a little.

Just then a black Mustang skidded to a halt in front of them.

"That's my ride!" said Kankshita, jumping down from the wall.

Swayam laughter stopped midway as he stared at the figure in the driver's seat of the car.

Sharon looked back at him. A hundred unspoken emotions passed between them, one look speaking volumes. This closure of sorts was eating away at both of them but neither of them did anything to heal it. They both felt that this was a necessary evil. Both felt that it was best course of action, less painful.

She finally broke the eyelock and zoomed away as he stood there staring at the car, long past it was gone.

____________________________