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@boyznaka

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

So this question has been bugging me for a while now. What should one choose-their dignity, or what they want? I mean, there are times when you can't have what you want because your dignity or maybe something else stands in the way. What should we do then? Going by the 'One Life to Live' principle, aren't we supposed to do what makes us happy? But what should we do when it makes someone else unhappy? Let them haters hate? Succumb to your wants? Or control yourself?

And even if we do do either, is it worth it?

Also, I apologize for ruining your Saturdays with my oh-so-sensible questions, but that's what happens when you don't get enough sleep.

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

I think our mind needs to be clear. Ideally we should put fairness before dignity, what we want, relationships etc. Any dignity or need that comes at expense of being unfair is not worth it.

If that is the case (i.e. we are not being unfair) then from dignity and want I would go for dignity. The problem with want is that hazaroon khwaishain aise ke har khwaish pe dum nikle. We just cannot run after wishes as thats a run with no end. It is important but not something that is at top of the list.

And please do not apologize. You did nothing wrong. lol

Edited by King-Anu - 13 years ago

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Summer3

@Summer3

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

We should just carry out our duties and responsibilities.

Sometimes if we cannot find the job we want, we will have to be patient and accept whatever comes our way. We need to eat to live at least.

Of course what we do should be proper.

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Summer3

@Summer3

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

So if you are a King, the responsibility is even more as he has to look after all his subjects too.😆

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: Summer3
So if you are a King, the responsibility is even more as he has to look after all his subjects too.😆

For words are superfluous when understanding reigns

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373577

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: Summer3

Of course what we do should be proper.

Proper to whom Summer bhai? Is there agreement on what is proper and improper 😉 😆

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373577

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

fair play? dignity? Proper ? improper? Who is to decide?

https://rkhyd.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/srk-in-india-and-us2.jpg

Edited by zorrro - 13 years ago

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dunno

@Mindbender

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: boyznaka
So this question has been bugging me for a while now. What should one choose-their dignity, or what they want? I mean, there are times when you can't have what you want because your dignity or maybe something else stands in the way.

If you look at it, eventually whatever you do you do it because you wanted it! In this case, if you choose your dignity over what you want; it simply implies that you wanted your dignity more, right? Similarly, those who sacrifice their wants for others' happiness, they wanted other's happiness more, no?

Originally posted by: boyznaka

What should we do then? Going by the 'One Life to Live' principle, aren't we supposed to do what makes us happy? But what should we do when it makes someone else unhappy? Let them haters hate? Succumb to your wants? Or control yourself?
And even if we do do either, is it worth it?

Honestly, I doubt whether anyone can answer these questions for you. You have to search for the answers yourself. Decide what your principles are and live in sync with them. When that happens, these conflicts automatically cease.
But then, to reach the above stage is not easy. It almost seems saintly!

A more worldly answer, I believe, would be - to follow a balanced path. Keep looking for the balance between making yourself happy as well as others happy. Eventually, seeing others happy should make you happy also, but there are going to be naysayers too! Form a personal philosophy to deal with them. Having the right intentions helps a lot! If your intentions are right, you tend to have a fearless way of doing things because you know, everyone is eventually going to see that you never intended wrong in the long run. So yes, keeping the big picture in mind helps too.

Considering the questions" aren't we supposed to do what makes us happy? But what should we do when it makes someone else unhappy? " again : I think the answer also depends upon the kind of personality we have dealing with the above situation. A person who tends to be overtly sacrificing, who generally goes out of his way to help people ,rarely contradicting, perhaps not out of only unselfishness but because he simply can't say no, should consider doing things which make him happy individually for a change. Similarly, the person who is prone to be doing everything in his own way, not regarding others' needs in the process, would do well to make others happy from time to time.

As regards the "One life to live" principle, you can tend to "Reincarnation" principle also, if it doesn't make you happy. 😆

Edited by Mindbender - 13 years ago

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Angel-likeDevil

@Angel-likeDevil

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: boyznaka
So this question has been bugging me for a while now. What should one choose-their dignity, or what they want? I mean, there are times when you can't have what you want because your dignity or maybe something else stands in the way. What should we do then? Going by the 'One Life to Live' principle, aren't we supposed to do what makes us happy? But what should we do when it makes someone else unhappy? Let them haters hate? Succumb to your wants? Or control yourself?
And even if we do do either, is it worth it?

Also, I apologize for ruining your Saturdays with my oh-so-sensible questions, but that's what happens when you don't get enough sleep.

My principles --

1 - Dont live for other. Other is always other, look for yourself, cos there's no guarantee the other will be there, do things for you.

2 - Make yourself happy. It is essential :) Do things that make YOU happy. Give priority to yourself.

3 -- Inspite of having such strong dogmatic principles ^ , I end up doing things for others...but, do things whole-heartedly, or never!

If the other is someone like my amma-papa, I do do things for them, sometimes even if it's not something I like. It would be vague if I say, that we should never make others sad. It's very subjective and depends on the situation at hand. It isnt right to do things at the cost of others' happyness, but at the same time.. they should also have control over themselves, why should we only be responsible for others' unhappiness?

So, this brings me to -- "Do what you love, love what you do"

we live in a society, and we cant go on caring about each and every person we come in contact with, it'll only drive us nuts :) sometimes, you yourself feel as if your committing a sin, and get emotionally entangled in situations like you mentioned, so...whatever you do, whether for your sake, or for others' sake... acceptance is required, and fairness from your side is required, if you hate doing something - two options : accept it whole-heartedly, or leave it! when you leave it, too... do it whole-heartedly, thinking too much will only cost your peace of mind.

EDIT : Coming to dignity.. what might be moral and respectful to me, might not be moral and worthy of dignity to you. Do what is right for you, your life. Dont think about what others' will think, like i said, thinking too much will only disrupt your happiness :) ...so what if your lose dignity in someone's eyes? how long will you continue to do things just to remain in other people's good books? Whether you have done right thing for yourself is all that counts, because your the one that has to live your life. All I can say is, be sincere and true to yourself... one will lead a blissful life like that :D

Edited by Angel-likeDevil - 13 years ago

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