Social Norms Vs True Respect

hello

Most of us call people elder to us, esp on IF di or bhaiya. The interesting thing would be that many times we dont call our own elder sister or cousin that way. So when we call someone di, do we really do so because they are just older than us by approximately few years? or do we do so, because we see that everyone is doing so?

I admit when i came to IF, the whole concept of di was rather mysterious to me. I have called my cousins akka (tamil for di when i was younger) but stopped when i grew older. The concept of this di calling took me some time to adapt too and i too was immersed in this culture. Recently, i stopped. I realised that i dont have to call someone di just because they are a few yrs elder and if i might ever say not wiser or more mature than me always. Sometimes though, certain people are more mature and really like a sis than i call them a di.

So the questions i pose to you guys today (after a LONG intro) would be:

- Why do u call someone di? Social Norm or real respect?
- Do you think everyone that calls someone di really means it?
- And if u think its more of just a norm, is it worth following and why?

Looking foreward to hear your comments

Cheers,
Sneha

Hmmm.. Hot hitting topic 😆 😆 😆 😉

-Why do u call someone di? Social Norm or real respect?

Personally speaking.. i have got 2 elder sistersin real life.... and i have a huge age difference from them.. i call them baji.. here in IF there are "di's" who are of the same age.. so it is automatically a di..not becoz of social norm... but becoz i respect them as i respect my sisters...😊 ...but the a**** is just to pick them 😆 and they know it 😛 .. are u listening di's...i mean a****** 😆 😉 (anybody! HELP me to find a hide-out 😆 😆 😆 )

- Do you think everyone that calls someone di really means it?

I have given the answer.. personally yes.. but can't say abt anyone else.. it depends wht the person's perceptions are!

- And if u think its more of just a norm, is it worth following and why?

it is respect ... i have been taught it this way as im the youngest member of my family cousins ..sisters ..uncles ..aunties ... so u have to give them respect like this.. this is our culture no matter where we live... u can be quite open and free to them -I am... but the formal respect is necessary in real life... And in virtual.. it is a form of respect too.. if u call them di.. 😊

sorry this is a bit out of actual topic..but still like to give my remarks too
Recently in a meeting held at our office one of the foriegn delegate was surprised to see we quoting few of our clients or clients parents as Aunt or Uncle and advised us to not to do so .
From then various thoughts came in my mind in relate to our Indian culture and traditions which we overlook.
We almost forgot the suffix (aunt,di,bhabi,bhaiyya)which we add is a way of showing our respect since they are more mature and experienced,and also mean every human being shud treats his fellow being the way we treat our family ..remember the pledge all Indian are brothers and sisters.we are only following social norms ,the actual purpose is omitted.From childhood we Indians are taught to touch our elders feet and take their blessing apart from addressing the elders with a suffix to their name.

To high light a recent episode ,the awards night at IIFA,and also Filmfare,wen the little gal ,Ayesha Kapoor ,born and brought up abroad,addressed Mr.Amitabh Bachan as Amitabh,Immediately sitting at home watching the show ,it struck me as very odd ,all others includuing big producers added ji and sir-all out of due regard and respect for his age and achievements

Such gestures are part of our tradition and highly valued in India.However though we are still following this tradition the actual meaning @the due respect hardly exists -it is now more of lip service

Hi All!

All my replies in this Post will be dedicated to Abhijit Shukla Uncle and MNMS aapa!!😆

Oh come on Myth 😭 😡 This is going bizarre!! First you were teasing me with MNMS ji... now MNMS aapa... I think now is the time to use my most worthy weapon😈

Wondering to lift the ban on the word AUNTY now 😛

I think more than respect, it is a neat way of bonding given that all this that we share is confined to a virtual world!! I actually like it. Respect on the other hand, is what one earns for their deeds/ posts in this context. I applaud and respect so many viewpoints so many youngsters (i hardly have any dis in this forum 😆). Calling someone Di is mere bonding that I hope is mutual rather than it being a norm / pretense.

Originally posted by: sneha3105

hello

Most of us call people elder to us, esp on IF di or bhaiya. The interesting thing would be that many times we dont call our own elder sister or cousin that way. So when we call someone di, do we really do so because they are just older than us by approximately few years? or do we do so, because we see that everyone is doing so?

I admit when i came to IF, the whole concept of di was rather mysterious to me. I have called my cousins akka (tamil for di when i was younger) but stopped when i grew older. The concept of this di calling took me some time to adapt too and i too was immersed in this culture. Recently, i stopped. I realised that i dont have to call someone di just because they are a few yrs elder and if i might ever say not wiser or more mature than me always. Sometimes though, certain people are more mature and really like a sis than i call them a di.

So the questions i pose to you guys today (after a LONG intro) would be:

- Why do u call someone di? Social Norm or real respect?

Just for coutesy.Later on after good interactions with that Di we develop respect automatically. Same with Sowmyaa di and Subha Di in my case.
- Do you think everyone that calls someone di really means it?

Yes.I don't call every tom dick and harry with a relation.

- And if u think its more of just a norm, is it worth following and why?

this makes us grow as better human beings

Looking foreward to hear your comments

Cheers,
Sneha

For that matter, I call Abhijit Shukla of this forum as Abhijit Uncle and Jatayu as Uncle J .I really mean it and respect them.

MK

Originally posted by: sneha3105

hello

Most of us call people elder to us, esp on IF di or bhaiya. The interesting thing would be that many times we dont call our own elder sister or cousin that way. So when we call someone di, do we really do so because they are just older than us by approximately few years? or do we do so, because we see that everyone is doing so?

I admit when i came to IF, the whole concept of di was rather mysterious to me. I have called my cousins akka (tamil for di when i was younger) but stopped when i grew older. The concept of this di calling took me some time to adapt too and i too was immersed in this culture. Recently, i stopped. I realised that i dont have to call someone di just because they are a few yrs elder and if i might ever say not wiser or more mature than me always. Sometimes though, certain people are more mature and really like a sis than i call them a di.

So the questions i pose to you guys today (after a LONG intro) would be:

- Why do u call someone di? Social Norm or real respect?
- Do you think everyone that calls someone di really means it?
- And if u think its more of just a norm, is it worth following and why?

Looking foreward to hear your comments

Cheers,
Sneha

- Why do u call someone di? Social Norm or real respect?

i even call a auto-rickshaw driver...bhaiya..and my kaamwali bai as mousi and any dukaanwala as bhaiya😆

it has become a formality nowadays to call someone by 'di' or 'bhaiya' rather than respect. maturity has nothing to do with it. its the age difference which actually matters. and it's entirely upto any individual to decide if this kind of addressing is appropriate or not.

but i like it...because it separates me from other ppl of my age in any other country...xcept japan ofcourse😆they follow the same way of addressing😳

- Do you think everyone that calls someone di really means it?

i mean it.😳 dunno about anyone else.😳

- And if u think its more of just a norm, is it worth following and why?

it is worth following...because everyone gets their share of importance...its sometimes good to feel that the person respects you by addressing you as 'di' (even though they r many other ways to make you feel imp😆)but nowadays; ppl don't mean it..when they say it....and i wudn't like to be addressed as 'di' by such ppl.😳

take care,

devyani.😳

ta ta.😊

bumping for chammo ke yaar chacha

interesting question 👏
I don't know I usually call them anything if I feel uncomfortable...Otherwise, I usually use "ji" (I am punjabi that's why)for everyone who is older than me by more than 6 or 7 years; and lots of people find that weird...but I don't know otherwise I always get around without saying their name or anything...hmm so yuh...but if they want me to call them di or sumthin...I dont' mind! To me it's no biggie!