Just say the words Arnav. Say the words, and I'll be with you. Always.
I ca...can't Khushi. You need to go.
After all...all that we've been through, you will st...still let me go?
I have to. I don't deserve you Kh...Khushi. Go, please.
What are you saying? I love you Arnav. You know I do, then how can you---?
And it is precisely because of that reason that you should go. Because, maybe I can never love you as selflessly as you have, ever.
You can, and you do Arnav. And you know it. I don't want to go. I want to be with you. Why don't you under---?
Why don't you understand Khushi? How can I look at you every day, without feeling guilt seep in through every thought of mine? How can I ever forgive myself for always believing the worst in you?
You can. I'll help you. We'll do it together. Please? Don't make me go Arnav, please.
You need to Khushi. Go. Take the one chance at happiness you might have without me and don't let it go.
Arn...Arnav, I can only be truly happy with you. You...please, don't. Don't make me go Arnav.
Go Khushi. Please.
The memories of that one night, years ago prickled back into Khushi's mind, once again. She could still hear the rain lashing over the glass panes of the tiny train compartment, her shrill pleas, and Arnav's retreating footsteps.
Seconds later, her hands clutched her saree once again, as she swiftly made her way out of the car.
---
Arnav sat behind for a few more minutes after Khushi had left, trying to get a grip over his mind which seemed to be buzzing with the sensation of her ice-cold fingertips splayed over his heated skin. Then the image of her moist eyes, and then that excruciatingly painful look etched across her face. He ran his hand through his hair, realizing for the umpteenth time in his life, that he and his memories were the source of those tears, yet again.
He dragged his feet to towards the restaurant across the street.
---
The restaurant was a quaint little place nestled away in the lush green mountains. The apple green floorboards and the dark brown teak tables provided an old world charm as the rich aroma of chocolate seduced the air, colliding with the brewing coffee beans and the clattering of plates.
The four sat next to a large open window from which the damp breeze rushed in every now and then, embracing all in its icy embrace, as the soft drizzle continued to fall incessantly. Arnav watched with renewed awe and admiration as the soft sunlight caressed Khushi's hair.
---
'So, Arnav will be staying with us for the next few weeks Khushi. He is here to supervise over the construction of the new AR branch opening in our town,' NK chatted away, sitting next to a brooding Arnav, across the equally silent mother-daughter duo.
Khushi looked up, into Arnav's already staring eyes, for a fleeting second, a questioning look in her eyes. But she diverted her gaze, as soon as the waiter bought in the tray, loaded with sandwiches and mugs of steaming coffee.
'Nanheji, I don't know why we had to come here? I had made lunch at the apartment,' Khushi muttered incoherently, as NK smiled at the flustered expression crowding her face, as Arnav had not moved his eyes from over her face, even for a second.
'Khushiji, I think Aashna and me are tired of having your jalebies every time we set foot in the kitchen,' NK winked at Aashna, who it seemed to him, seemed to be darting her eyes from her mother to Arnav after every minute.
'You still make those disgusting things?' Arnav blurted out immediately, without thinking. As Khushi's eyes focused over him in a second and he thought he saw a small smile tug at the corners of those delectable lips. And he was sure at that very moment; the same memory had washed over both their minds.
'Arnavji, are you okay?' Khushi asked the sprawled figure of Arnav, that lay helplessly over the kitchen floor. She sprinkled water droplets over his face, till his eyes fluttered and he mumbled about something sweet to eat. But Khushi had vehemently denied, but later on stuffed in a piece of jalebie into his mouth.
Arnav had gained complete consciousness, well almost, but he didn't stop Khushi, when she circled her arms around him, holding his back straight and tried to bring him into a sitting position. He wallowed in the tingling sensations of her hands splayed across his back.The lingering ambrosia like scent was deeply inhaled by him, when her face was inches away from his own. He wanted to raise his hands, touch the smooth slope of her neck, but he let her hold his hands, helping him to stand.
Khushi was of course, unaware of the scorching trail she left over his chest, as her hands brushed past unknowingly. He reveled in the irony of the whole scene that looked like Khushi had cornered him, and he was pinned to the kitchen walls, by her dainty form. And when he looked into her hazel depths, he was greeted with brimming concern, and he silently prided in the fact that she worried for him.
'I'm okay Khushi,' he said softly, trying to convince her.
But Khushi held on. He didn't know, how much he meant to her then. The very feeling of having him vulnerable and helpless, scared Khushi so much, that she wanted to prolong their moments of proximity. So she held on, afraid that he might stumble and fall again.
Much later, when Khushi had braved into entering his room, she had been rewarded with the first bout of his rare infectious laughter. A laugh so magical, that she found herself smiling just by sight of the relaxed contours of his face.
And even though she realized that he had been laughing at her flour-smeared face, it gave her heart, her whole body a fluttering joy, that she couldn't describe, even years later. She had been the reason for the fleeting moment of happiness in his life.
---
'You guys know each other?' An utterly bewildered Aashna asked for the second time, as the two people she had been scrutinizing for the past few minutes, finally looked away from each other.
'Ma, you know Mr. Raizada here?' Aashna directed the question to her mother, as Arnav's eyes summoned for Khushi to look into his own. NK saw the unveiled shock and a ghost of what he perceived to be unglazed happiness hover over Arnav's face. Khushi nodded nonchalantly. And if Aashna was surprised, she didn't show it then, even for a second.
'You are Khushi's daughter, Aashna?' Arnav asked the young girl sitting across him, though his eyes were glued to Khushi's face that shot up instantly as the words flowed out of his mouth. Aashna shook her head, relaying the affirmative. Khushi's hesitant gaze darted from Aashna to Arnav. And if she had expected anything close to anger or maybe reeling fury in his eyes, she was surprised to find his eyes spilling with silent joy, hope and tears, which he blinked away just as rapidly as they had come to enter the confines of his eyes.
---
Arnav felt the journey back to Khushi's apartment excruciatingly small. He wanted to sit on the back-seat of the tiny old car, pressed beside her, reveling in the warmth her presence provided.
Their arms were placed right next to each other's. Too close, he thought sheepishly. And he couldn't stop his trance-induced fingers to stroke over her knuckles and down the slope of her right hand. Arnav thought for a second that maybe she wouldn't have noticed, but Khushi, his Khushi, was as responsive as she had been years ago. He watched, mesmerized as her lips trembled, parting slightly, and her hand immediately clutched at her knees, and she turned her face towards Aashna.
And moments after, the car came to an abrupt halt.
---
Arnav was showed into a spare room that adjoined with Khushi's, by a grinning NK.
And while both Arnav and NK had disappeared into their rooms, Aashna scuttled off into her mother's room, to find her head buried into one of the pristine white pillows, as she lay sprawled across her bed.
'We need to talk Ma,' Aashna stated as she plopped herself onto the bed, in a tone that her mother thought bore the semblance of the voice of the man in the room next to hers.
'Aashna, I'm really tired---'Khushi had barely begun, as Aashna cut her off. 'How do you know Mr. Raizada?' And that look in her daughter's eyes told her, that she couldn't leave that question unanswered.
'We are acquaintances...from your Maasi's wedding,' Khushi stammered, looking away from Aashna's prying eyes. 'Then why didn't you tell me before Ma?' Aashna asked innocently. 'Because you never asked Aashna and now go finish that project of yours, and let me rest, please?' And with that strangely familiar answer, Aashna realized that she had been dismissed, yet again.
---
Arnav freshened up, and strolled out of his room, taking in the modest surroundings. He picked up a bottle of water, walking over the creaking floorboards of the house, till his feet stopped at a stilling sight. And his breath hitched for a few long seconds.
The door was parted slightly. But enough, to provide his hungry eyes with the sensuous view of her, standing beside a bed, almost engulfed in the grey light of the room. He watched, as if in a trance, as she weaved her fingers through her ebony black hair, trying to detangle the silken strands. He edged a little forward, but stopped himself from opening the door any further, because he knew, he wouldn't be able to stop himself or his fingers that were then itching to fist up her hair in his hands.
And as if she knew that he was standing there, observing every minute detail, Khushi preceded with her acts, further, in a torturously slow speed. Arnav watched as her hands reached the spot where her mauve blouse was hooked, and her fingers worked their way to unclasp it. His jaw tightened in frustration, as he saw the thin strip of the black lace etched across the creamy expanse of the curve of her back. She turned around abruptly, picking up another saree from the bed, and a towel as she entered the washroom, leaving a befuddled Arnav behind her.
He thought, balling his hands into clenched fists, how exactly was he going to live under the same roof as her, with her sleeping in a room next to his own.
---
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