Chapter 23
"Why did you do all this for me?" he asked. "I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for you."
"You have been my friend," replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a tremendous thing."
-- E.B. White, Charlotte's Web
Thup.
Thup.
He once again caught the ball, which he had been throwing against the wall, in silent agitation.
His heart felt perfectly numb and perfectly in love. He wondered how he could feel both simultaneously.
Thup.
He was hurting. Even after a month, the wound still felt fresh. He had never known love before yet it had come so easily to him, so naturally to him when he had met her as if the sole reason for her existence was to teach him the meaning of love. To make him feel the beauty of it and also unavoidably, the pain of it.
Thup.
But he was more disturbed about the fact that she didn't have anyone she could rely on when she needed someone the most. He wanted so much to help her but he didn't see how unless she let him in.
Thup.
He knew one thing for sure. Before he got meddled up into the complicated affairs of love, he was her best friend. And as her friend, he had to help her. He couldn't just leave her when she was going through so much.
Thup.
For the last time, he caught the ball in his hand and threw it on the floor before grabbing his keys from the table and bolting out of his room.
He looked at his watch as he thudded down the stairs. 8:46 p.m.
His parents had gone to some charity ball and were unlikely to return before well into the night.
He turned the bolts of the door leading to the front porch and twisted the knob to reveal a surprised looking Sharon standing at his doorstep.
For a minute they just looked at each other, savouring the moment, letting the volley of emotions overpower their senses, recalling each moment that had led up to this one.
He was the first one to break through the stillness.
"Sharon?" he breathed.
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She looked up at him blankly. All along the way, a thousand number of thoughts had zoomed through her mind as she thought about what she would say when she finally did see him. And now not one word made its presence felt in her mind as she groped about in it, searching for at least one coherent sentence.
But she didn't find any.
Not knowing what else to do, she thrust the letter, which she had unknowingly brought along, into his hands and without her knowledge started to cry.
When she did realize that she was crying she mentally kicked herself for it. Why the hell was she crying? For a long time, she couldn't shed a tear and now that she could the taps refused to be closed. She felt stupid and silly. More so because she was crying in front of him.
He, on the other hand, had been reading the letter intently and when he finally did finish he looked up to see her crying.
Instinctively, he raised his hand to console her through the mere instrument of touch. But he stopped himself in good time and mentally rebuked his hand for acting of its own accord.
She, having no such reservations, buried herself in his chest, her entire body now shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed her heart out. Unable to control himself for long, he let his arms go around her and gently stroked her back.
"Shhh!!! Sharon, it's ok" he said, soothingly.
And that just made her cry harder.
After a lot of consoling murmurs in her ear and a lot of hair stroking, she finally managed to put a hold on her tears and once again get a grasp on her thought processes.
"I'm sorry." She said muttering into his chest. "I'm so sor-"
"Shh! Sharon, it's alright. You don't have to apologise. It's ok. I understand." He said.
He removed her face from his chest and looking straight into her eyes, he said-
"I understand."
She nodded once, acknowledging the fact, as more silent tears made their way out of her eyes. She smiled a little, a first in many days.
He cupped her face and wiped away her tears with his thumb.
"Stupid girl! Just once you should have trusted your best friend, just once if you had let me in, you could have saved yourself a lot of anguish." He said, chiding her affectionately.
She smiled more openly this time. He sat her on the wooden steps leading to the porch and prompted her to let it all out.
She carefully laid her head on his lap and told him all about the past month- the numbness, the pain, the agony, the relief, the happiness and more pain.
She felt his fingers running through her hair and thought that it was the most soothing feeling ever. They sat in silence for quite a while. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was just natural, like they didn't need words to convey their feelings to each other.
"Swayam?" she said, after a long bout of silence.
"Hmmm?"
"About what happened in the rehearsal hall..." she began, tentatively.
She felt him stiffen and before she could put in another word, he said-
"It's ok Sharon. We don't have to talk about it." he said, curtly.
She didn't say anything else. Instead she pondered over the fact as to why she felt so dejected on hearing that. Isn't that what she wanted? She thought. To just be friends?
The combined effect of his humming and hair stroking soon put her to a peaceful sleep, again a first in many days.
He cautiously picked her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He laid her down on his bed, gently removed her shoes, tucked the blanket warmly around her before he picked up the spare pillow and headed towards the guest room, where he would spend the night.
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She paced about in her room, frustration resounding in each step.
For the past month now, she had been trying so hard to get close to him but he kept maintaining a safe distance between them. She was his partner and she tried her level best to throw herself at him, but he refused all her advances and had even shouted at her a couple of times. She didn't know how she could get him. If this continued she might have to take some drastic measure. She had been playing nicely till now but if he was going to play hard to get she would show him exactly what happened to people who dared to cross Chantel Kulkarni.
If she couldn't have him, she would destroy him.
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He lay awake on his bed, thinking about her.
He was happy that she had finally decided to open up to him. He felt his heart break as she told him what she had been going through for the past month.
His thoughts now delved on what she had said after that.
He knew that she wasn't in love with him. Perhaps not as much as he was and he didn't want to rush her. Right now, more than anything, she needed a friend and that's what he would be for her. He would never impose himself on her. If they were meant to be, they would be.
He didn't want to think about the 'or else' part.
He slowly drifted off to a dreamless sleep with her thoughts still playing around in his head.
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She woke up to a noise that sounded a lot like someone fighting. She rubbed her eyes and found herself in an unfamiliar room.
Where am I? She thought, looking around for something that would indicate as to her whereabouts.
She finally came across a framed picture of a young girl and a young boy, sitting in front of what looked like a playground, flashing toothy grins at the camera. Their happiness was so contagious that she found herself smiling. She picked up the picture as she recognized the boy in it. Shaggy, long black hair with creamy, chocolate brown eyes and that deep dimpled smile. It had to be him. The girl bore a certain resemblance to him having the same pair of brown eyes and long black hair. Both their eyes had a mischievous twinkle in them as if they were about to do something naughty.
Just then the door opened with a start and he hurriedly came in, firmly closing the door behind him. He had a worried expression on his face. He saw the frame she was holding and for a minute some imperceptible feeling came into his eyes. But just as quickly it was gone.
He stood there fidgety, just as her attention was once more drawn to the raised voices coming from the outside.
"Swayam...?" she asked him questioningly.
He looked a little uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed.
"Sharon, you need to go." He said.
She quickly kept the frame back in its place and removing the covers got up from the bed and put on her shoes.
"Swayam... is that your parents?" she asked.
He didn't say anything. Instead he more or less hustled her out of the room.
"Do you want me to drop you?" he asked.
"No. I'll go back on my own. But Swayam..."
"Not now Sharon. Later." He said, opening the door leading to the front porch.
"But..." she started protesting.
"Later." He said, giving her a meaningful look.
She looked at him for a minute and then nodding once, she confirmed it.
"Later." She said, letting him know that she wasn't going to let it go.
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She walked into the rehearsal and saw all of them huddled in a corner, apparently discussing something. Swayam turned his gaze towards her as soon as she entered and waved her over.
"Sharon!" shrieked Kriya and Simmi, at the same time.
Nilesh and Vicky were already striding towards her and before she could protest they engulfed her in a group hug, silently letting her know how sorry they were and how much they missed her.
Kriya and Simmi followed suit and through the space in between all the bodies she managed to throw Swayam a questioning look.
He just shrugged and mouthed 'they missed you'.
Sharon, unused to so much love, felt overwhelmed. She had no idea when they had started mattering so much or when had she started mattering to them so much, but here they were hugging each other like it was the end of the world.
So she couldn't help but let a tear or two escape her eyes.
She once again chided herself for crying. It was really getting out of hand. It needed to stop. Since when had she become so emotional?
She wiped it before anyone could notice it. They all finally let go of the slightly embarrassing hug and tried to pretend that it didn't happen. Kriya and Simmi were already trying to blink away their tears and Nilesh and Vicky were vehemently avoiding eye contact with anyone.
Only Swayam stood there, smiling like an idiot, clearly enjoying the show.
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It had been quite a while since they had come here. One month, two weeks and half a-day to be exact. The lights were shining just as brightly and just as randomly. The cherry tree under which they had parked their car stood as sturdy and as full of pink blossoms as ever. Only the setting sun had decided to adopt a new way to dissolve into the Earth. This time it chose to do it with a lot of fanfare and so it streaked the entire sky into bright shades of red, orange and yellow. The different colours merged subtly into each other making it difficult to pin point where one colour ended and another began. The sun, after determining that everything was in order, made its grand exit into the now closing gates of the horizon.
The setting sun cast half hearted shadows on their faces, illuminating certain parts, while overshadowing the rest. They had been sitting on the hood of the car in deep silence enjoying the few, quiet moments of peace.
She was the first one to break the silence.
"Do they always fight like that?" she asked, not looking at him.
"Yeah."
She put her hand on his shoulder.
"Why do they fight so much?"
"Because they don't like each other."
"Since when?"
"Since my sister died."
"Was that your sister in the picture with you?"
He nodded unable to say anything.
They sat through another round of silence when out of nowhere she giggled.
He looked at her like she was crazy.
"What?"
"You were so damn cute back then." She said, still smiling.
"Back then? You talk as if I've lost my cuteness now!" he said, miffed.
"Well not lost, more like faded." She said, provoking him.
He managed to procure the cutest scowl ever putting a rest to all her doubts.
"Sharon?" he said, after a while.
"Hmm?"
"What are you going to do about your sibling?" he asked, flatly.
She had been thinking about it ever since she had read that letter and she had made up her mind about that.
"I'm not going to do anything about it."
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