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I think it is really interesting how they are bringing out the similarities and differences between Aarti and Yash in exploring his story, following hers and so I would like to base my analysis on that comparison and contrast today. How similar and different have the journeys been that got AarYa to this point? Now that we have the truth about Arpita's death, we can finally undertake this comparison.
Losing a Spouse
Similarities: Both Yash and Aarti blame themselves to an extent for the loss of their first spouses. Because the story chose to focus on Aarti first, we have seen her progress further than Yash at this stage but she too felt the oppressive burden of Prashant's abandonment and contemplated her own role in it. This was especially apparent when Yash sent the divorce papers and she asked Shobha what was wrong with her that she couldn't prove to be a good wife for the second time. Even though she claims closure from Prashant now, his final unmasking of his true colours last week, has left her deeply insecure about her own judgment and in a hurry to legitimise her life with Yash so she can forget about what happened with Prashant. Yash also seems to hold himself accountable for the death of Arpita to some extent, which is why he tells Aarti that there are some things you don't share, even with yourself. What Aarti is doing now with Prashant, locking him in a corner of her heart and denying him, is what Yash has been doing all these years. Both of them need to realise that locking your past away does not make it disappear, it only makes it all the more painful when it rears its head, the way it did for Aarti last week and Yash today. They have to face that corner of their hearts in order to move on.
Differences: Aarti went from vowing to love Prashant for eternity to shutting him out completely. This suits her as she is a character of extremes; what she does, she does all the way. Yash on the other hand has found a different medium to deny his most painful past. While Aarti repeatedly remembered the day Prashant left her, trying to find something she could have done differently to make him stay, until the recent confrontation, Yash blocks everything out of his memories of Arpita that is not pure joy and love. Yash finds it harder to come out of his haze than Aarti, not because his love is stronger or because Arpita was better, but because he has a much more stable method of denial, one that sustains him in a relationship with his deceased spouse. He has a system, while Aarti runs with her emotions. She cannot systematically manage her memories the way that Yash seems to be able to and so she swings from one end to another, now remembering a tender moment with Prashant, now replaying his abandonment.
Parenting their Own After Losing their Spouse
Similarities: I found it really touching that Yash too used to help Palak write letters to her mother after she had passed away. I am sure this helped Palak retain the connection with her mother and not feel so suddenly alone. It makes me wonder though, if Yash drifted further and further away from the girls when the wound of Arpita's death became less raw, or at least as time passed on. Maybe the family did not let him manage them as much once their schedules went back to normal. Ansh too wrote letters to his absent father, asking for things. I said this then and I will say it again that Ansh may have wanted the things in the short term but really he wanted to feel the presence of the father he missed in his life. It is so similar with Palak who was not ready to let her mother go, so Yash kept the fairy tale alive for her a little while longer.
Differences: The fairy tale ended for Palak, as she mentioned a few days ago, when her grandmother told her that her mother was with god and never coming back. The child has been forced to deal with the loss of her mother like an adult, with nothing hidden from her and nothing sugar coated for her emotional well-being. She has been left to grapple with her guilt all by herself. Secondly, while Yash helped her write those letters, he never actually got the things that they asked for, never tried to fill the void that Arpita left. Given that Palak is so young, was it really necessary to end the fantasy of her mother reading her letters so soon? Is this the effect of Yash's environment where he, first would consider it sacrilege to act in Arpita's name and then was distanced from his daughters and no longer allowed to indulge their little coping mechanisms? Aarti on the other hand, took it upon herself to actually fulfill the wishes in Ansh's letters. The obvious drawback would have been when the illusion shattered in a few years, but for now it kept Ansh innocent and faithful, gave him a generally positive feeling towards the idea of a father and never let him feel the pangs of abandonment. Palak chooses not to celebrate her birthday because she thinks that would be an insult to her mother. Would it have been so hard to tell her that her mother is looking down at her and nothing would make her happier than to see Palak happy on her birthday? Because it is clearly true!
Parenting the Other's Child(ren) & Letting the Other Parent Yours
Similarities: Sincerity. Both Yash and Aarti want to be good parents because they know that is why they have gone through with this marriage. But they both seem to make the same mistake of charging forth with not enough information. Yash, without knowing how Ansh has been brought up, shouts at him at the table and injures his little ego, he gets him the wrong toys because he does not know what to get a boy and he forces him to go to school against his will. Aarti, not knowing Palak's traumatic past made herself an invasive presence, simply by not acting with respect to Palak's grief. They also allow their issues to come between the new parents and kids a lot of the time. For Aarti, it was her lack of trust and for Yash it is his reluctance to share his pain about Arpita. Today, Aarti was asking as Palak's mother and the bahu of this house, in the present. She really had no interest in Yash's past except as it was relevant to the present. And he made it all about himself. It was not really either of their faults, but they have made mistakes aplenty because they refuse to share with each other until issues come to a head. But their sincerity is such that they find the right path in the end and fulfill it with all their hearts.
Differences: Aarti has created a much more conducive environment for the Yash-Ansh bond to grow than Yash has created for Palak-Payal and Aarti and the sad part is that Yash gets all of the credit, even from Aarti for this. From the beginning, Aarti gave Yash full rights to win over Ansh's heart because she wanted that. Yash on the other hand, seems unsure about what he wants from Aarti as a mother. Whenever she asks him for responsibility he refuses flat out but gets all gooey-eyed whenever she combs their hair or cleans their room. It is as though he wants Aarti and Arpita to co-exist as mothers for the children, with Aarti managing the physical and Arpita remaining their emotional mother. Without asking Aarti, Yash switches Ansh's school and it leads to the whole kidnap drama. Yash went into that situation smelling like roses and he came out likewise because he is a man. On the other hand, if Aarti goes ahead and forces this birthday thing and it blows up in her face, she will be blamed entirely. Although they are both doing the same thing essentially, the results will be different because of the gender dynamics of the Scindia family.
But I do hope that this is a chance for Aarti to break into Palak's head and heart and make a place there. When Arpita passed away, Palak was left waiting for that love, security and that happiness to return to her life. When it did not come back to her she stopped eating and went into deep depression, from which she only came out to survive and function. She had to pick herself up in the best way she could, but her wounds never really healed. It would be an interesting loop closure if the birthday party gives her a similar shock, she falls ill but this time Aarti is there to nurse her and give her comfort, with her words and with her empathy, having been through a similar loss. Palak would then truly heal from that illness she had so long ago. And Palak's healing would be the beginning of Yash's own, just as the protection of Ansh's faith by Yash was the rebirth of Aarti's own.
Losing a Spouse
Similarities: Both Yash and Aarti blame themselves to an extent for the loss of their first spouses. Because the story chose to focus on Aarti first, we have seen her progress further than Yash at this stage but she too felt the oppressive burden of Prashant's abandonment and contemplated her own role in it. This was especially apparent when Yash sent the divorce papers and she asked Shobha what was wrong with her that she couldn't prove to be a good wife for the second time. Even though she claims closure from Prashant now, his final unmasking of his true colours last week, has left her deeply insecure about her own judgment and in a hurry to legitimise her life with Yash so she can forget about what happened with Prashant. Yash also seems to hold himself accountable for the death of Arpita to some extent, which is why he tells Aarti that there are some things you don't share, even with yourself. What Aarti is doing now with Prashant, locking him in a corner of her heart and denying him, is what Yash has been doing all these years. Both of them need to realise that locking your past away does not make it disappear, it only makes it all the more painful when it rears its head, the way it did for Aarti last week and Yash today. They have to face that corner of their hearts in order to move on.
Differences: Aarti went from vowing to love Prashant for eternity to shutting him out completely. This suits her as she is a character of extremes; what she does, she does all the way. Yash on the other hand has found a different medium to deny his most painful past. While Aarti repeatedly remembered the day Prashant left her, trying to find something she could have done differently to make him stay, until the recent confrontation, Yash blocks everything out of his memories of Arpita that is not pure joy and love. Yash finds it harder to come out of his haze than Aarti, not because his love is stronger or because Arpita was better, but because he has a much more stable method of denial, one that sustains him in a relationship with his deceased spouse. He has a system, while Aarti runs with her emotions. She cannot systematically manage her memories the way that Yash seems to be able to and so she swings from one end to another, now remembering a tender moment with Prashant, now replaying his abandonment.
Parenting their Own After Losing their Spouse
Similarities: I found it really touching that Yash too used to help Palak write letters to her mother after she had passed away. I am sure this helped Palak retain the connection with her mother and not feel so suddenly alone. It makes me wonder though, if Yash drifted further and further away from the girls when the wound of Arpita's death became less raw, or at least as time passed on. Maybe the family did not let him manage them as much once their schedules went back to normal. Ansh too wrote letters to his absent father, asking for things. I said this then and I will say it again that Ansh may have wanted the things in the short term but really he wanted to feel the presence of the father he missed in his life. It is so similar with Palak who was not ready to let her mother go, so Yash kept the fairy tale alive for her a little while longer.
Differences: The fairy tale ended for Palak, as she mentioned a few days ago, when her grandmother told her that her mother was with god and never coming back. The child has been forced to deal with the loss of her mother like an adult, with nothing hidden from her and nothing sugar coated for her emotional well-being. She has been left to grapple with her guilt all by herself. Secondly, while Yash helped her write those letters, he never actually got the things that they asked for, never tried to fill the void that Arpita left. Given that Palak is so young, was it really necessary to end the fantasy of her mother reading her letters so soon? Is this the effect of Yash's environment where he, first would consider it sacrilege to act in Arpita's name and then was distanced from his daughters and no longer allowed to indulge their little coping mechanisms? Aarti on the other hand, took it upon herself to actually fulfill the wishes in Ansh's letters. The obvious drawback would have been when the illusion shattered in a few years, but for now it kept Ansh innocent and faithful, gave him a generally positive feeling towards the idea of a father and never let him feel the pangs of abandonment. Palak chooses not to celebrate her birthday because she thinks that would be an insult to her mother. Would it have been so hard to tell her that her mother is looking down at her and nothing would make her happier than to see Palak happy on her birthday? Because it is clearly true!
Parenting the Other's Child(ren) & Letting the Other Parent Yours
Similarities: Sincerity. Both Yash and Aarti want to be good parents because they know that is why they have gone through with this marriage. But they both seem to make the same mistake of charging forth with not enough information. Yash, without knowing how Ansh has been brought up, shouts at him at the table and injures his little ego, he gets him the wrong toys because he does not know what to get a boy and he forces him to go to school against his will. Aarti, not knowing Palak's traumatic past made herself an invasive presence, simply by not acting with respect to Palak's grief. They also allow their issues to come between the new parents and kids a lot of the time. For Aarti, it was her lack of trust and for Yash it is his reluctance to share his pain about Arpita. Today, Aarti was asking as Palak's mother and the bahu of this house, in the present. She really had no interest in Yash's past except as it was relevant to the present. And he made it all about himself. It was not really either of their faults, but they have made mistakes aplenty because they refuse to share with each other until issues come to a head. But their sincerity is such that they find the right path in the end and fulfill it with all their hearts.
Differences: Aarti has created a much more conducive environment for the Yash-Ansh bond to grow than Yash has created for Palak-Payal and Aarti and the sad part is that Yash gets all of the credit, even from Aarti for this. From the beginning, Aarti gave Yash full rights to win over Ansh's heart because she wanted that. Yash on the other hand, seems unsure about what he wants from Aarti as a mother. Whenever she asks him for responsibility he refuses flat out but gets all gooey-eyed whenever she combs their hair or cleans their room. It is as though he wants Aarti and Arpita to co-exist as mothers for the children, with Aarti managing the physical and Arpita remaining their emotional mother. Without asking Aarti, Yash switches Ansh's school and it leads to the whole kidnap drama. Yash went into that situation smelling like roses and he came out likewise because he is a man. On the other hand, if Aarti goes ahead and forces this birthday thing and it blows up in her face, she will be blamed entirely. Although they are both doing the same thing essentially, the results will be different because of the gender dynamics of the Scindia family.
But I do hope that this is a chance for Aarti to break into Palak's head and heart and make a place there. When Arpita passed away, Palak was left waiting for that love, security and that happiness to return to her life. When it did not come back to her she stopped eating and went into deep depression, from which she only came out to survive and function. She had to pick herself up in the best way she could, but her wounds never really healed. It would be an interesting loop closure if the birthday party gives her a similar shock, she falls ill but this time Aarti is there to nurse her and give her comfort, with her words and with her empathy, having been through a similar loss. Palak would then truly heal from that illness she had so long ago. And Palak's healing would be the beginning of Yash's own, just as the protection of Ansh's faith by Yash was the rebirth of Aarti's own.
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