Hello dearies.
Today is the first anniversary of IPKKND... However, today's episode left me wanting. Why? Because I expected the heart and soul of IPKKND, Khushi and Arnav, to be present on this day. If not together, then atleast thinking about each other.
However, other than NK's entry & his quick perceptiveness, there was not much to watch. I was in fact surprised that Payal, being the sister for whom Khushi gave up everything, could not see the fear, the agony, the loneliness whereas NK, the so-called outsider who just met Khushi for a while, could see it plain on her face. Payal and Anjali, two sisters, for whom Arnav and Khushi is wrecking their life, are least concerned about their siblings. Anjali still asks about Arnav, but Payal does not bother to even ask Khushi's well-being.
Today on the anniversary, I decided to make my own IPKKND... So let's imagine a scene where Shyam's truth is out in front of the family. All family members are present including Arnav... So now question answer time...
Naniji: You cheated all of us all these days? How could you?
Shyam: Actually it was extremely easy. You could even call it child's play...
Anjali: You betrayed me and my tiny princess... What kind of father are you?
Shyam: I betrayed you because you drove me up the walls with your worship and sobbing and whining and clinginess... Febicol clings less than you, hell heavy duty cling wrap clings less than you... Not to mention, everytime I felt like doing horizontal tango, you start your bhajans (religious songs)... How a man to get a relief?
And talking about the so-called kid... Looks like your gestation period is in competition with an elephant. You announced your pregnancy in the balmy night of February and now people are baking in the hot June sun and your baby bump is still a no show... How would I connect with fatherhood when all the proof exists in your imagination?
Mamaji: Shyam bitwa, why did you
Shyam: You are redundant... Next...
Mamiji: Hello Hi Bye Bye, damadji... Why did you betray me? I always thought you were so good..
Shyam: If you were as smart as occasionally CVs show you, you'd have known that I was too good to be true... I was staying at my in-laws place with no plans or itching to move... If that does not scream I'm no good, I don't know what does...
Akash: Jijaji, you...
Shyam: You are redundant too. Next...
Payal: I...
Shyam: Oh please, you better not open your mouth... You knew my truth... But never bothered asking your sister what's going on with her life. You were busy being the useless creature you were or sucking up to your mom-in-law. So continue with that and keep your mouth shut...
UPDATE ON DEMAND:
Buaji: Shyam babua, why did you betray me?
Shyam: You were throwing Khushiji at me left and right, I just caught her... How is it my fault... You were the one emotionally blackmailed her and convinced the rest of the family to get her to marry me... So don't blame me for your over-eagerness to get rid off the Orphan...
Garima: Why...
Shyam: You don't count... Skip to next...
Babuji: (Eye contact) Why did you try to kill me?
Shyam: Because you were trying to take away my new toy... How could I let her go? If you really wanted to grow a set of balls, you should have said no to your sister and let your daughter decide on her life partner...
Bubbli: Why did you steal my soap?
Shyam: If you had minded your business, I won't have stolen it... However, I liked you. If I had a daughter, that would have been you. When it comes to plotting and planning without any guilt, you sure take after me...
Arnav: But why...
Shyam: Sale Sahab... Really? You are asking me that question? First you see me clinging like monkey to Khushiji declaring my love to her and promising to ditch your dear sissy, then you come to me and tell me to confirm that Khushi and I are having an affair before I even opened my mouth... This famous misunderstanding was actually your idea which you put in my brain... So I did.
Then you go all Amitabh Bachchan and badle ki aag (fire of revenge) and all and drag Khushiji to temple and marry her for six month... Now I understand that you misjudged your di's gestation period thinking she is human, but that's not my problem...
Then you treat Khushiji like shit and expect her to be loyal to you... Really? If I were Khushiji, then I'd have an affair with NK or me just to teach you a lesson. You buy loyalty with love, not with abuse. You are lucky that Khushiji's love prospects were deem considering NK left and I was married...
Khushiji: Why did you betray me?
Shyam: Actually Khushiji. You are the only one whom I did not betray. Think about it. I was married but I was willing to take care of that problem for you. I fought with goons to save you, treated you with respect, love and concern. I only threatened you when I thought you consider threat to be sweet nothings considering how you make goo goo eyes at saale sahib when he threatens you... Think about it... if I was not married or a gold digger and no good leach., was not I a better life partner than ASR? Actually I trusted you when no one did... Not even your family...
Laxmi: Meh was innocent... Why did you use me?
Shyam: Because other than in Kitchen being marinated for goat curry, I could not find any reason for you to be present in Shantivan... Normal people eat you, not pet you... Well, those PETA people might pet you... But they never claimed to be normal... So...
Me: Why did you betray me? My eyes and tummy was turned upside down looking at your half-naked body...
Shyam: Well, if you had a life, then you won't be staring at my half-naked body. So instead of complaining, get a life... And stop sucking on pepsi, one day you will bleed it... Yeah, I'm talking about you, despo...
Fandom: Why did you betray us?
Shyam: Who, me?
Fandom: No her (Pointing at me)...
Me: What did I do?
Fandom: You made Shyam smarter than everyone on the anniversary post and gave him all smart aleck replies...
Me: You are complaining to me? Take it to the CVs... They took all the brain cells of RM and gave the whole bunch to Shyam as birthday present... I'm just following their lead...
(Pointing at Shyam) And you suck... I may bleed Pepsi... But one day you will bleed real blood... I will bar-b-que raw steak that day... See if I don't...
For all the people in love with ARHI, here's the birthday song for you...
Tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn9_6yINCy4
Bar bar din yeh aaye, bar bar dil yeh gaye,
Tum chalo hazaron saal, yeh IF ki hain aarzoo...
(May this day come over and over again,
Our heart is singing again and again...
You run for thousand years,
This is the wish of IF...)
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you IPK, Happy Birthday to you
Bekarar hoke spoiler padu main kiska...
Gaali doon main kis episode ko aur praise karu main kiska...
Nehin nehin, aisa obsession, koi nehin hain...
(Whose spoilers am I eager to read,
Which episode to abuse, which episodes do I praise...
No no, like this obsession, you will find nowhere)
Kispe nazar yeh ruk jaaye, gharwale taana de jaaye,
MU ka band baje jaldi, yeh IF ki hain aarzoo...
(Who captures our attention like that,
For whom family members make fun of us...
MU gets done with quickly,
This is the wish of IF...)
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you IPK, Happy Birthday to you
Payal ki jagah ASR ko agar CVs aaj dikhata,
Joote chappal ki jagah tarifo ki pool aaj main lagata...
CVs bola, episode ko hain, ASR ki kya zaroorat...
(Instead of Payal, if CVs had shown ASR...
I'd have praised them instead of throwing sandals at them...
But CVs said, why do we need ASR for this episode)
Jiska sex appeal TRP badaye, har ladki ka dil dhakaye...
Uske bina anniversary episode jaise chicken ke bina stew...
(Whose sex appeal increades TRP, every girls heart beats for whom...
Without him anniversary episode, is like stew without chicken)
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you IPK, Because we still love you...
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