The dull afternoon slowly turned into a chilly evening with the rain showing no signs of stopping. The outside atmosphere was in perfect accord with Maan's temperament.
Angry and wild!
The pagan beast residing within him had been tempered with his anger, bubbling over Geet's termity. The thought of her making a fool out of him was eating into his insides and he was ready to lash out at anything.
The passing time gave him time to reflect over the events of the afternoon making his latent rage erupt. Unable to help himself, he went to his gym to workout. He physically pushed himself to the extreme to cool himself down. Otherwise he was sure he would definitely do something which he would regret later.
He worked our ferociously, each punch of his hand depicting his inner tempest, each punch portraying the amount of anger and self loath to have nearly given in to his conniving wife……….. "NO!" He thought. "She is NOT my wife! Nor will she ever be. What the hell did she think? That she can get away with forcing me into this shackled relationship?"
Thuddd. A plank of wood fell under the sheer force of his pent up energy!
"Never! No one can make Maan Singh Khurrana do anything that he doesn't want to!"
And so on went his thoughts, round and round until he fell over in exhaustion. Yet his mind refused to give him the peace he so desired.
In all this he conveniently forgot that this was not the first time he had been intimate with Geet.
It's human psychology to always blame the other person. He closed his mind to a voice whispering that did Geet really need to drug him to get him closer?
Grabbing his vest, he came back home to see that Geet was still sleeping.
He wanted to wake her up, to blast her and demand some answers. His temper was just simmering with the wait. But he controlled. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to the bed, staring at her, the bottle of V in his hands, a constant reminder of her deceit.
=====
"Ahhh" Geet held her head as she felt someone sitting in her brain with a sledgehammer. She had just woken up to find herself in bed, and Maan staring at her with fire in his eyes. But at the moment the throbbing in her head drowned out all else.
"So finally Miss. Geet is awake!" he drawled, stressing on the Miss part, getting up in a jerk such that the chair fell over with a loud bang.
Geet flinched. "Maan please! Don't make so much noise" She pleaded holding onto her splitting head while wondering what the hell was bugging him now. Even though he had not raised his voice, the chill running down his words was heard loud and clear. Geet who had never before drunk anything was in hell right now and didn't particularly care about his temper.
"Having a headache are we?" he asked with fake concern, which she missed, and nodded.
"Well its nothing compared to the pain I have been feeling all day!" he lashed out angrily.
In spite of her headache, she immediately looked up in concern, "Kya hua aapko?"
He laughed wildly at her words, "She asks me 'kya hua aapko'!" he mimicked. "Enough of your innocent act Geet! It won't work on me anymore. I was a fool to even think of trusting you. I should have realized that to trust a woman is akin to digging my own grave!" he shouted making Geet water up.
"Maan please, dheere boliye na. Mujhe samjah me nahi aa raha hai aap kya bol rahe ho. Why are you shouting? Aur mera sir bhi bahoot dukh raha hai." She implored in distress holding onto her splitting head.
Having suffered his share of hangovers, Maan knew what she was feeling. Despite his anger, he couldn't help but go to the kitchen and make some lemonade, thrusting it at her along with a painkiller.
"Take this!" he growled, "And go freshen up. You will feel better after you eat something."
She drank the lemonade in one go, feeling the heaving stomach subside a bit. As she was about to go to the washroom, she realised that she was wearing only a kurta and nothing much. She blushed scarlet and gripped the covers in embarrassment, trying to recollect what the hell happened to render her in such a state.
Her memory was hazy and she couldn't recollect anything properly. Bits and pieces of her dancing in the rain, him carrying her home were all she could remember.
She looked at him, expecting him to move out of the room, to give her some privacy. But he was just glaring at her, trying to read the myriad of emotions running across her face.
"What? Yeh mat kehna ki tumhe sharam aa rahi hai," he sneered. "Apna yeh drama kisi aur ke saamne jaake karna. Kyunki kam se kam mai to tumhare jhanse me anewala nahi hu!" he snarled. Geet got scared with his demeanor and scuttled away holding the sheets trying to think what she did that he is so angry.
She looked at herself in the mirror, and couldn't recognize herself. Her hair was all messed up, running riot, her lips swollen and red. Her neck and upper body had red marks, now turning slightly blue.
She closed her eyes tight as hazy images of their wild love making filtered through her brain, making her numb. "Did we...?" she wondered as she couldn't recollect everything. "Is that why he is angry at me? Because we made love?" she thought as this was his reaction every time. A few tears escaped "Isme meri kya galti hai Babaji? Jo kiya unhone kiya, mujhe to hosh hi nahi tha. Then why is he blaming me only? Why does he hate me so much? And if he does, then why does he keep coming close to me? Khud hi pass aate hai, fir khud hi mujhe sunate hai." she wept.
"Mujhe to kuch bhi yaad nahi! The first time my husband made love to me and I don't even remember anything. Unhone aisa kyu kiya? Did I ever deny him? Then why did he do this when I was drunk?" she sobbed, thinking of her dreams of a SR. The dream that had shattered to a poor reality. "But how did I get drunk? Maine to pee bhi nahi!" she wondered.
"Geet what the hell are you doing! Come out now!" his voice interrupted her contemplation.
"Ji aayi." She quickly wiped her tears and took a shower, the marks on her body burning slightly.
He felt a stirring in his loins as he saw her in his kurta, her wet tendrils teasing her face, the water droplets on her neck beckoning him to her. As his eyes traced her features, her red swollen eyes broke his thoughts. He ignored the desire coursing through him, attributing it to the drug still in his system, and jerked her to him.
"Look at u. Crying were we? Because your plan failed?" he sneered while Geet looked at him in bewilderment, "What plan?"
"Stop your nonsense Geet!" he shouted making Geet wince as the pitch of his voice back the headache that was starting to get dormant.
"Dard ho raha hai? Mujhe bhi hua tha! Isse bhi zyaada! When you mixed my food with that stupid drug! So don't show me these false tears to gain my sympathy." He said in a cold controlled voice, the anger reverberating in each syllable.
"What??????"
In reply to her question, he showed her the bottle and noticed the sudden paling of her face at the sight. If he had had any doubts about her part in the fiasco, it vanished at the look on her face. He didn't know why, but something within him had wished her to be innocent. The shattering of that miniscule hope brought out the savage in him.
"Why did you have to mix V***** with my food Geet? Tum ek baar keh deti! I would have gladly obliged your sexual hunger. Sleeping with you would have been no hardship Geet, let me assure you on that. I was the fool who kept his principles and left you alone. Do you realize how painful it is to stop at that stage? And I did it for you! To protect your honour!" he laughed mirthlessly. "What a joke! A more dishonorable woman I have yet to meet." Geet blanched at his words but Maan was blind to her reactions now, fury having distorted his vision.
"But it's not too late! Now that we both know the score, why don't we finish what you started?" he looked at her devilishly, scaring Geet with the intensity of his anger.
Never in her wildest dream having imagined the bottle to contain V, she had never given a thought to what was in it, as she trusted Naintara implicitly. But then she should have realized that Naintara didn't know the patchy relationship that existed between them, so she wouldn't have thought anything was wrong with this. She called herself all types of fools for not having paid more attention to the plan when Naintara was discussing it. But she had been too lost in misery to give it much thought.
She decided to come clean, "Maan listen to me…." She started, but Maan cut her off, "The time for listening is over Geet. You should have thought of it before you pulled this stunt!" and he grasped her and kissed her forcefully, not letting Geet go even as she struggled to free herself. He caught her hair and twisted it painfully to keep her in place while he removed all his anger in that one kiss.
The kiss spoke more about pain and betrayal than pleasure! His hands which were roaming about on her body, added to her humiliation. It was clear that Maan was not doing it out of desire but was hell bent on revenge and so she struggled harder to clear his misunderstanding before it was too late.
He left her to growl near her neck as he bit her there making her squirm in pain, "Kya hua Geet? Isn't this what you wanted? Weren't you hungry for my kisses? For my touch? Then why are you shying away now? Dekho abhi to hum dono hosh me bhi hai!"
Geet realized that Maan was too angry to listen to her but she had to try. As his fingers went to her kurti, and he was about to rip it, Geet sobbed "Maan pleaseee…..stop….babaji ke liye ruk jaayiye Maan…." making him halt.
"Kya hua Geet? Aren't you enjoying yourself?" he sneered looking at her with disgust in his eyes.
He threw her away from him as if she was dirt, "Rape is not fun is it?" She fell over on the bed, cowering next to the head board, huddling herself into a ball crying hard.
"Don't worry! I wouldn't touch you even if you begged me to! I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine. Wasn't that the plan? Isn't what you did to me also a type of rape? What the hell did you think? That I would succumb to your cheap seduction plan?" he accused her making her look back at him incredulously.
"Don't look at me like that! Agar ek mard tumhe force kare to that's rape? Lekin ek aurat ek mard ke saath kuch bhi kare, she gets away with being the weaker sex? What did you do? Wo kya tha? Chi Geet! I didn't know you were so desperate that you had to resort to such measures. Tumhari jaisi characterless ladki maine aaj tak nahi dekhi" he lashed out at her, ignoring the broken look in her eyes, as she tried to cover herself with something but was unable to find anything.
He sighed and picked up the sheets from the floor and went over to cover her when she jerked away from him, infuriating him. "Don't worry! Lessons' over! Next time you decide to pull a trick like this, just remember the horror you felt a few minutes ago. Because next time, maybe you won't get away as easily as this if it would be someone who didn't give a damn about you or your family." He spat.
Holding on the sheets tight, hugging herself, Geet hid her face in her palms as her distraught sobs turned to cries of agony. All she wished at this moment was to wake up instantly if this was a nightmare or just disappear into oblivion.
"Stop crying Geet! You are safe." He said irritably when she showed no signs of stopping. "I am not going to do anything. I think I got my point across. You now know what it's like to be on the receiving end of this humiliation." He said. "Tumhe apne character aur self respect ki nahi padhi hai, to kam se kam apne ghar walo ka hi soch liya hota! They don't deserve to be associated with a woman like you!"
He looked at her with loathing, his eyes filled with an unsaid pain. His words drummed in her ears and hammered her brains. When the door shut with a bang, she looked up to see an empty room echoing the sobs of her distraught soul. She struggled to catch a hold of herself, to absorb the fact that he had such a low opinion of her. His words and actions flashed before her, not letting her breathe in peace.
She was lost in her turmoil, sitting still where he had left her, gazing into oblivion. The word 'characterless' echoed in her ears, shredding her soul. Her bruised heart could not even cry in agony, her hurt was so deep. "How could he do such a thing to me? Meri baat ek baar sun lete! Kuch bhi bolte gayee! What does he think of himself! Aur fir unhone jo kiya? Chi!" Her thoughts went on and on cursing her fate, herself and mostly her husband for the predicament she was in. There was no one she could share her tears and concerns with. She didn't want to tell Naina Di, and no one in her family would give a damn. There was only Rajji, but she was a kid and Geet didn't think it right to involve her in her marital problems.
Her lonely soul wept and suffered, while the evening turning to night and night to morning.
=====
Maan returned the next day to find Geet sitting exactly as he had left her. He had spent the whole night working to keep his thoughts at bay and here this girl was again ready to test his patience, he thought angrily. Maan's temper had cooled down slightly, but his stance had not changed. He looked at her once but turned away ignoring the tug he felt at his heart. He freshened up but she was still lost in her own private world.
"Geet!" He called out, which went unheard, lost as she was in her own private hell. "Geet!" he shook her, and she came out of her trance. "Tum raat se yahi baithi ho? Kyun? Itni takleef hui sach sunkar? Or is this some new way to make me feel guilty?" he said coldly, his concern hid beneath a layer of indifference. When she didn't reply, he inhaled deeply and left the room not wanting to be caught in the turmoil that was so visible in her eyes.
Marching into the kitchen, he noisily prepared himself an omelet, cursing her under her breath for putting him in such a fix. However when he sat down to hush his hunger growls, the thought that she hadn't eaten anything since last morning struck him. Trying to ignore the wayward thought, he took a bite of his breakfast but found it hard to swallow the morsel. Her unkempt state, red swollen eyes, the tear marks on her cheeks, all were a dead give away to how she had spent the night. Hunger pangs were being replaced by the fresh cut pangs of guilt pricking in conscience. Irritated, he pushed his plate away to prepare a small meal for her. He may not consider her his wife, but she was still his responsibility. With that thought in mind, he went back to his room. Placing the food on the side table, "Kha Lo!" he uttered rudely and left the room. An hour passed while he had his food and cleaned the mess he had created in the kitchen.
The battle between his mind and heart was growing stronger adding to his ire. His mind gave him a plethora of reasons to leave her alone. But his heart was following its own gait. Where his mind said that it would only complicate matters, his heart argued to at least grace the humanitarian grounds. Her pained eyes were haunting him and despite his better judgment, he couldn't stop himself from checking on her once. Skeptically he entered his room, to find her rooted to her place while the food lay untouched at her side the way he had left it. It irked him. It was as if she had not acknowledged his presence at all. Her silence pricked his conscience. Keeping a hand over his waist, he observed her for a while. When she still didn't move, he sighed and sat down across from her on the bed and looked at her contemplatively. He perhaps needed a better closing dialogue to drama that had unfolded the day before. And so he began, "I think this would be the last time we are talking like two individuals. After yesterday's fiasco, I wouldn't trust you anywhere around me. Tum apne raaste aur mai apne. So take this last bit of advice from someone who has seen the world. Taking the easy path is not always the best choice. And the easiest is most often the wrong path. Apni zindagi me kabhi aisa kaam mat karna jisse tumhe apna sir ya aankhen kisi ke aage jhukana padhe. Your self-respect is all that you will ever have with you till the end. Never demean yourself in front of anybody, not for anything or anyone. It's not worth it."
"Have you even thought of what I could have done to you?" He pushed his hand through his hair as he thought back to those torture filled hours. He got up and turned his back to her. "Think over what you have done and what could have been the consequences. Ek kone me baith ke rone se tumhari zindagi nahi sawarne wali. Aage tumhari marzi. It's your life. If you are bent on destroying it then I really don't have much to add. Khana thanda ho gaya hai. Agar bhookh lage toh kha lena." And with that he left her again. A single drop of tear ripped through her heart, and she looked up to watch him leave and then at the food that he had kept for her.
His words had registered well with her and also the plea that was somewhere deep hidden in his voice. She looked at the food tray. Hurt and humiliation now accompanied by a bit of confusion at his actions. He was confusing her. On one end, he treated her like a trash bin while on the other, he cared for her well being. But whatever it was, she knew he was right. "Ek kone main baith ke rone se zindagi nahi saveregi." His words echoed slightly. What was the point in crying? If this is her life, she would accept it with grace and humility. She'll do something with her life. She didn't know what? How? But she knew she had to. And she knew her Babaji will show her the path. As her faith resurfaced, she wiped her tears away. If there was no hope, she will build a path for herself, she won't accept defeat. She fought to survive when her parents died and she will fight to survive again.
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