Arsha OS : My dream My dance

Hey Everyone,

I just got inspired by Shakti's status on FB .. she has reached NY and will be performing .. So wrote this OS .. Its from Shakti's POV ..

Wrote it in one go .. so please ignore typos ..

Comments are always welcome ...

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As I sit in the flight .. the flight to my dream .. dance .. I go with a baggage .. lots of good wishes and expectations from my family , friends and fans , tears in the eyes of the same people, some who were hurt by my decision and some angry … I hope am able to throw off this baggage and lead my life the way I want to , the way I lived some 2 years back .. carefree .. free as a bird .. always ready to fly wherever and whenever I wished to ..

I reminisce the way my life has been in the past 2 years .. it was no less than a roller coaster ride .. It all started with winning the DID title .. All my life I was know Shakti Mohan .. but now suddenly I was THE SHAKTI MOHAN .. my face on tv .. hoardings .. papers .. magazines .. I wouldn't say I didn't want all this .. Yes , like any other performer I too wished to get all the success .. my face known .. the feeling of stardom is something can't be described in words .. Success is sweet .. but with that comes some after effects too ..

Being from a family where already 2 of my sisters are part of the glamour industry .. I knew with success there is also a price to be paid .. But even though after knowing all this when it all hit me .. I realised its not easy for a normal human being to handle such things alone ... so much fan following suddenly .. sudden recognition every where .. people want to know everything about you .. perwhat do you eat .. where do you shop .. what do you like .. what do you hate .. every comment you make is like dissected to such a level that it could be used to pull a meaning out of every letter .. .. thank god for such a loving family to support me ..

I smiled as the AH gave me orange juice .. tried to put on some movie to take my thoughts away from the past .. but no use .. was back to thinking. .. one particularly was coming again and again in my mind was an email from an ardent fan of mine .. She had been a loyal fan of mine since DID .. she wrote to me almost every day .. she gave her compliments , comments , criticisms on my acts , my performance , my makeup , my hair , almost everything …

I must say she ate , drank and breathed Shakti Mohan .. All her comments I used to read and analyse myself .. she had become a virtual friend of mine .. we had never met …but her recent email was something I couldn't get my mind off it ..

"Shakti Di,

I saw your dance in Pritam Pyare .. I must say you danced well .. I don't want to say that you were superb or the best .. because I have seen better performance of yours before ..

One thing which I want to ask you is .. why did you choose this song .. there were already 2 girls besides you dancing in the song .. you had share the screen space .. if you had to share it with a hero it would be something different .. moreover you have more talent and potential to do a better or should I say a different dance .. why choose the rustic dance number .. You could have waited till you got an offer for an item number where you are the sole lead dancer .. Why didn't you wait ?

I am so disappointed seeing you .. I have always loved your performances and will do so in future too .. Please take this opinion of mine as positive ..

"

This comment was disturbing me from the time I had read it .. More over the same question Kunwar asked me after our TellyChakkar interview off camera .. He also wanted to know why I chose this song .. I just avoided answering him and changed the topic ..

But I just couldn't get it off my mind .. somewhere I knew the answer but still was not ready to accept it ..

I recollected the conversation I had with Terrance Sir after 6months of my D3 stint .. He had called me to meet him .. I was very happy because I thought he wanted to congratulate me on my success for the show .. But ..

Terrance Sir : "Shakti , what the hell are you doing in D3 ? " … he literally shouted at me ..

I was too shocked at this reaction .. I didn't know why he was so angry .. had I done something wrong in some dance sequence in D3 .. I started thinking

"What happened Sir , I didn't get you"

Terrance Sir : "Huff .. Shakti , when you came to learn dance from me , do you remember what you said to me when I asked you , what are your dreams ? You said you want to be an international dancer .. you want to choreograph .. but not the typical dance styles but something unique .. you want to bring in dance musicals which are so famous in US to India .. do you remember " .. his tone again rising ..

"Ye .. yes I remember .. I haven't forgotten about it .."

Terrance Sir : "Then do you care to tell me what happened to your application which you sent to NY Broadway Academy ? "

"Well I had sent long back and they haven't got back to me "

"Great !!! so you sit here and do nothing about it .. you could have followed up with them rite ? .. did you ? " I shook my head in Negative ..

"Wow .. this is called dedication towards your dreams .. also there was a BBC correspondent who wanted an Indian dancer who is proficient with Indian as well as other dance styles .. I had suggested your name and given then your dance videos too .. If they like it they will get back to you … It would be a great opportunity for you to perform in NY if you get that …" he continued ..

Shakti was feeling a little uneasy .. "Thanks "

Terrance Sir looked at her .. his tone softened "Shakti , you know how mad I get if I see my students whiling away their time .. See I know its very easy to get settled in a comfort zone and then not move out of it .. Am not saying D3 is something which you shouldn't do .. yes .. it is helping you improve your acting skills .. but what about dance .. that is your ultimate goal ..rite ? I know the large fan following you have got is definitely because of D3 .. But think about what you want to do in long run .. the show will continue for years .. do you want to do that ..will you be satisfied professionally , emotionally ? .. I am sorry if I was harsh on you .. I want you to achieve the great pinnacle of success because you deserve it .. Shakit think about it .. "

Shakti : Yes , I haven't lost sight of what I want to achieve in life ..

"Also , you know yourself how difficult it is to make a niche in this industry .. your sisters will give you first hand information on that .. if you want to make a name for yourself then here you not only need talent , which you have immense , but a platform to showcase it .. you received it thru DID , then u need luck .. which also you had on your side .. you won DID also your chemistry with Kunwar was such a sensation .. that you got D3 because of that .. I understand everything ..

I know how difficult it must be for you to leave all this .. but if you want make a name for yourself as a choreographer then you have tough competition you know that .. there is one name which is only associated with Contemproary dance style .. you know that his classes are also a hit .. he does dance for top banners and has done for Yashraj movies .. its not easy to come and say give me a song I will choreograph it better than him .. No …

Also public memory is very short .. the minute you are away for some months .. people forget .. its like out of sight then out of mind … see the number of reality shows are churned every day .. and see the number of dance shows in them .. how many winners do you remember .. where are the winners what are they doing .. yes some have made it big .. what about the others .. there is no dearth of talent here , remember that .. there may be someone more talented than you .. but you have got the opportunity now .. just go for it .. make hay when the sun shines .. I know I have given you a big lecture .. but do seriously think about it .. "

Shakti : Actually I must say that I had thought of some of these myself .. but talking to you was better .. I should have to come you before ..

Terrance Sir : "Ok Ok .. don't make such a glum face .. it doesn't suit you .. BTW .. how's Kunwar doing " .. a mischievous smile creeped up on his lips and his eyes were twinkling …

Shakti pouted and said " He is doing fine .. " .. she tried to keep a straight face while answering this ..

Terrance Sir : "I have seen some of your D3 episodes .. what is that LLHH scenes you keep doing with him .. keep staring in his eyes for ages .. and when I was choreographing both of you for DID .. you literally made me tear my hair .. "

Shakti frowned " Not again .. Please .. I am bored of this topic .. every other person , my fans , journalists asks me the same thing … "

Terrance Sir laughed and hugged her " this is bound to happen .. just enjoy the time its there .. "

Shakti grinned widely …

***

I again shifted in my seat to be more comfortable .. ate the chocolates which were given to me by the AH .. I need some chocos at hand when I do some serious thinking .. I think the answer to my fan's email is in the conversation with Terrance Sir .. yes I did item numbers , danced for telly serials to be in public memory .. can't deny that .. and also the money was good .. must say that ..

I looked outside the window trying to enjoy but thoughts kept coming back to me about the spat I had .. the fans I hurt with my decision …

When I finally called back the Academy .. they immediately replied that they were in the process of sending me the details .. I was selected .. yuhuuu .. that was one of the happiest days of my life .. I went and gave myself a treat ..my favourite Lindt chocolate …

Now I was a little nervous to break this news to Channel V and the producers of D3 .. was thinking what to do then I saw the solution walking towards me ..

Kunwar .. hmm .. he has been a great friend to me .. kind of become one of best friends .. its very easy to talk and discuss stuff with him .. he does give a very straight forward opinion .. its like these are the pros and these are the cons .. now you choose .. but atleast I find my solution while discussing it with him .. I know we have been linked from the DID days .. it was almost in everybody's mind that we are going around because the way we danced on the stage .. but we have tried not to take that too seriously and laugh it off .. we are great friends .. but am not sure if we are compatible as a couple .. I have been linked with so many of my dance partners before but this is like the talk on the national television .. we are talked and written about .. this is like a huge compliment in a way because we are loved by so many people .. but somewhere it bothers me too … I wish my life was as simple , rosy and uncomplicated like the way my fans write in their OS / SS / FFs .. wow it would be such a treat to live that way .. I smiled at my own thought ..

But , I guess life can never be so easy .. I think we both have different dreams that is what makes us diverse .. I remembered our talk …

Shakti : Hey Kunwar .. I wanted to discuss something important with you .. got sometime ?

Kunwar : Sure Shaks .. but now shooting is there … can it wait then we could go to my place in the evening .. what say ?

Shakti : Ya , that would be better ..

We both sat in his gallery ..

Shakti : What will happen if I choose not to extend my D3 contract .. what do you think ..

Kunwar : Hmm .. nothing much .. you will have big clash with the channel and producers and you may have to pay something to them as there is a clause .. your fans maybe angry because they just adore Kriyansh .. why are you getting a better role in some other show ?

Shakti thought .. this is what I like about this guy .. facts stated so easily :" No yaar .. you remember I had told you that I had applied to NY Academy .. I got it .. so was just toying with the idea how to break this news "

Kunwar : Hey that's great news .. you are one step nearer to becoming the international star which you always wanted .. you must tell Palki Maam as soon as possible .. they may come up with some options .. like you could take a break etc..

Shakti : No Kunwar .. that's the main reason I wanted to talk to you about .. I don't want to return to D3 .. my course is for 3m but I want to explore other opportunities .. basically I want to explore what is within me .. what all can I do ..

Kunwar .. Um mm .. this is gonna be little tricky .. but I must say you inform them as soon as possible .. that would be better for you as well as them .. in case they want to replace Kria with another girl .. they might have to take auditions .. you know …

Shakti .. Hmm .. ya .. will do so tomorrow itself ..

Shakti : You know I am going to start something like Broadway musicals here .. they will be grand just like our movies .. do you want to join me .. you know our chemistry is something I can count on to make it a success ? .. she winked

Kunwar laughed : Sure .. I would love to join you .. but as of now I want to continue with D3 .. it was not what I had thought of initially .. I had come to Mumbai to be a choreographer .. but I am enjoying this phase of my life .. I am getting to act ,learn the nuances of camera angles plus choreograph also .. its really good for my career .. I feel when I get a chance to choreograph a song for a movie all these learning's will help me .. also you know I have struggled a lot to come up here .. I don't have anyone in this industry like you to help me or guide me ..

Shakti : Yeah .. I can understand ..

Kunwar hugged her .. "You are gonna do great !!!

Shakti : I know that .. she laughed

Kunwar : "Yeah Yeah .. but I am gonna miss Kria like anything .. my love my sweetheart .. don't break my heart and go .. " he enacted like fully filmy style ..with back of his hand on his forehead ..

Shakti : Rey Darling .. I have to go .. .. she also enacted …

They both burst out laughing ..

Kunwar : Hey your fans would be really upset …

Shakti : Hmm .. I know ..

***

I felt so much better talking to him .. but all the feelings disappeared when I broke the news to Palki Maam .. There were so many discussions .. verbal spats .. angry comments .. I was tired explaining and convincing them .. Hell its my life .. I will do what I want .. but I know they were very angry as their TRPs would be affected .. the producers were angry .. wherever money is there these are bound to happen ..

Finally I was out of it .. I didn't even imagine my fans could react in such a manner .. the irate fans who spammed my wall on FB threatening to leave the show .. bring the show down .. some hated me .. some respected my decision .. it was the most stressful part of my life .. but all thru this Kunwar was a great support …

Thanks to him we had overcome so many embarrassing situations .. Its funny now when I think of all this .. I remember after our first interview for IF ..

Palki : Why are you both so awkward giving interviews .. be more casual ..

Shakti : Ya, we were Maam ..

Palki : No what I mean is .. flirt a bit with each other .. don't get off from Kria and Rey's shoes .. be like them .. I want your fans to see the chemistry between you two .. this helps in promoting the show .. fans love to see what their stars do offscreen .. how they enjoy .. see you two are the main leads .. and we want to capitalise on both your offscreen and onscreen chemistry ..

Shakti was too shocked with this .. Kunwar answered "Yes .. we will definitely try "

I had agreed to be my normal self with him while giving interview .. the next interview and behind the scenes had been a great hit .. we had a great camaraderie between us .. it had reflected in our work .. but as it is .. nothing can be so easy and simple .. there were some misunderstanding between Kunwar and the girl he was dating at that time .. it eventually got cleared up …

I realised this is celebrity life .. everything which is done is for the benefit of somebody or something .. most of them just act it out .. very few are themselves always ..

I heard the captain say .. we will be landing in half an hour … I geared up for what awaits me …

As I came out of the airport .. it was early morning .. 7 AM NY time .. I spread my hands .. closed my eyes .. took in a deep breath .. "Here I come NY" .. smiled to myself … "I am here to live my dream .. dance .. I here to make myself proud before anyone else .. " .. I felt my heart lighten and all the thoughts which had been troubling me during the flight slightly fade away ..

****

As I prepare myself for my turn for the BBC show .. I see many folks in the audience .. my sisters .. some of my friends .. many fans .. it feels so good .. I have come here for this …

As I changed and came backstage .. I heard a familiar voice call me .. But that can't be possible .. I turn back .. yes who else would be here .. I hit him on the shoulders.. then gave him a squeeze …

"Kunwar what are you doing here .. when I had invited you to come with me to see me perform .. you simply said no … " I screamed ..

He smiled widely and hugged again " Surprise for you "

I was grinning ear to ear .. I thought if its written in destiny then maybe maybe we would be together else we are best off as friends ..

***

Awesome...

It was really gud...

U r too gud in expressing d P.O.V.