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Written Update: Big Fat wedding 20th May

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.dream-catcher.

@.dream-catcher.

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

Most people dream of a lavish wedding but the reality in India is that expensive wedding celebrations and heavy dowry demands end up making brides' lives miserable and ruining their families. The very concept of marriage has been turned into a transaction, with no value placed on the people or the relationship. But this can change, and it is up to girls and their families tosay NO to dowry, to insist on simple ceremonies and restore the sanctity of the wedding bond. The SMS Question which Aamir Khan asks in this episode is - "Do you think marriages have become a business transaction in our country today?"

Hopes of a happy marriage are often betrayed when demands for money and goods from the groom's family taint the alliance and turn it into a petty transaction.

Extortionate demands for dowry, which continue even well after the wedding is over, lead to the bride's family becoming impoverished; and in many cases the groom does not even intend settling down with his wife.

The fear of being unable to afford a wedding for their daughter has led some families in Bihar to kidnap grooms and force them into marriage. At the same time, movements such as as the Khuddam-e-Millat prove that weddings can be held simply without taking away anything from the significance or enjoyment of the occasion.

A brave young woman decided to stand up to the demands from her fiance's family,and carried out a sting operation using a hidden camera, to expose their greedy demands for money and a car. Today Rani Tripathi is happily married to Pawan,and is proof that one can say No to dowry, without fear.

There are parts of India where the practice of dowry simply does not exist. It is up to us to ensure that a marriage remains what it is -- the beginning of a relationship between two people, and not a material transaction.

Paramjeet was supposed to join her husband in a fortnight but this never happened. Her in-laws began demanding more and more dowry, and began ill-treating her. Finally they told her to leave the house.

While the dowry menace looms over much of India, in the North-East states it is a different story, as the concept of dowry is unheard-of there. Even the bride's clothes are provided by the groom's side

With the help of her brother, Rani made use of hidden cameras to record the groom's side making outrageous demands for dowry, and being vociferous about it too.

The pressure of providing a lavish wedding and meeting the demands of the groom's family have led the families of some girls to take drastic measures. Santosh Kumar of Bihar tells one such story. He was identified as a good prospective husband for Ruby Devi, whose father found a simple way of bypassing the dowry demands -- he kidnapped Santosh Kumar and forced him to marry Ruby Devi.

It has been 14 years. Ruby and Santosh are happy together, and have two children. But this only happened after Santosh was kidnapped from his village, forced to undergo the marriage rites, and locked in a room with his bride. Such forcible marriages are common in Bihar, says Santosh Kumar, and they are known as Pakadwah Byaah.

The solution to the problem of crippling wedding costs is to do away entirely with ostentatious weddings and the practice of dowry. This is what has been done in Bhiwandi, Maharashtra, where weddings are conducted with the utmost simplicity, so much so that there is no wedding feast either. This has come about because of the efforts of a group called the Tanzeem Khuddam-e-Millat.

Edited by poojawal_Pooja_ - 13 years ago

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undisclosed

@undisclosed

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

sounds interesting...i can't wait to watch the epi now😃

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irene

@irene_c

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

Was a great show. Hope more women and their family members stand up against dowry. I hope the girl who was in the us got the cops involved n hopefully they hauled his a$$ to jail for torturing his wife

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x- afreen-x

@x-affy-x

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

I was shocked at what happens
Where has it all gone wrong? Is dowry so important?
Thanks for the update

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sapna

@--sapna--

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

very nice show..

thanx 4 the uodate

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 13 years ago

It's very hard to write updates for a show like Satyamev Jayate. Great effort by you!👏

I think Rani's case once again outlines how crucial family support is for dealing with crisis and curbing social evils! Rani could take action because she convinced her brother and father. She knew she had their support. Perhaps those like Nishana or Komal did not have such support from parents and were encouraged to be subservient or make marriage work at any cost for sake of ghar ki izzat.

Lack of family support emerged as a crucial point in episode 2 also.

If we want change to happen, then let's start with ourselves and our families first!