Sardhakai - formalities around the practice

Page

Next Last

Shridevi Gaddam

@0-SD-0

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Can someone actually tell me that Sardhakai can happen anytime, anywhere to any Bedni ? RANDOM event ?

Can someone tell me, how is not possible that a Chunni/duppata when thrown towards the desired woman participating in the group, cannot miss the cloth landing on her head ?

How it is not possible that the Bedni's cannot have MULTIPLE sardhakai's and then how does it make sense that a Bedni can wear Sindoor, Mangasutra and Bichua(toe-rings) on behalf of a SINGLE man/thakur.

If this has been discussed before, could someone provide me the link ?

Edited by shridevigaddam - 13 years ago

Quote

Frequent Posters

XAiShBaBy08X

@XAiShBaBy08X

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

I'm sorry...but I don't think anyone knows. I can't find anything about it on the internet either. :(

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

pallavi25

@pallavi25

Inactive

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

I have read some articles on Bedni tribes and it doesnt appear that Bednis are bound to the same Thakur for whole life.

Their life is one of dancing and prostitution and they go with any Thakur who can pay the price for the night. Otherwise how will she support her family through the years?

Sardhakai is more like the ritual of first night...when a young Bedni starts out in this "profession" the Thakur who pays the biggest amount gets to spend first night with her. Its the price of her innocence!

Its all very disgusting and immoral 🤢 but that is how men exploit poor women and girls in this world and nobody ever thinks abt stopping these horrible customs! 😡

So the Thakur who buys the virgin Bedni can use her for a week, a month or several months and when hes bored with her, she goes back to dancing Rai and attracting other Thakurs to be her maalik and support her financially.

Bednis are shown to wear mangalsutras and sindoor, thats all hogwash...just symbolic of her relationship with the first Thakur who did her sardhakai which is supposed to be like marriage but in reality far from it since she gets neither social recognition nor respect nor lifelong financial support as his wife!

Quote

Sara

@stephhh

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

I was shockd n hurt when I knew ny of such customs exist in this world...its sad how girls r being used. Whats more disgusting is how men of those bednis family do nothing for a living...I wish such thins r stopped forever...n girls live wth respect.

Quote

atria

@atria

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Okay so now I'm confused. I thought Bednis are more like mistresses to one specific Thakur, which is why they wore the sindur etc in that Thakur's name, even though not legally married to them. But they can actually be moved over from thakur to thakur? And the sardhakai happens only the first time, or every time she dances a thakur can do her sardhakai and that symbolizes the beginning of her relationship with him? Also when a Bedni is the mistress of one thakur, does she continue rai dancing and other thakurs don't pick her up by tacit understanding, or does she do the rai only after she has finished one relationship and needs a new one? Someone give some clarifications please?

Quote

Shridevi Gaddam

@0-SD-0

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: atria
Okay so now I'm confused. I thought Bednis are more like mistresses to one specific Thakur, which is why they wore the sindur etc in that Thakur's name, even though not legally married to them. But they can actually be moved over from thakur to thakur? And the sardhakai happens only the first time, or every time she dances a thakur can do her sardhakai and that symbolizes the beginning of her relationship with him? Also when a Bedni is the mistress of one thakur, does she continue rai dancing and other thakurs don't pick her up by tacit understanding, or does she do the rai only after she has finished one relationship and needs a new one? Someone give some clarifications please?

Exactly Atria...those were my questions ..when I started thinking. I plan to find something online this weekend.

Quote

atria

@atria

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Okay just read pallavi25's reply above. So the bednis only do rai dancing between thakurs, as it were? Interesting. This makes Sugni's mama's attitude even more scary, they are happily sending out the girl to be not just a mistress to one man, but a prostitute?🤢 Do you also know what is their main income, the dancing or the prostitution? For instance, Gulabiya doesn't have a man right now, but she was managing her family just with the dancing till she fell ill right? So is it that the bednis earn enough money just through dancing, it just also carries the risk that a thakur might pick them up at any time? Or is it that bednis do the dance solely as the means of being picked by a thakur who will run their expenses? Also, can a bedni refuse sardhakai? I know Sugni did, and was threatened for it, but I'm asking in real life? Or like a prostitute, if she's out there she can't refuse a customer?

Quote

atria

@atria

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: shridevigaddam
Can someone actually tell me that Sardhakai can happen anytime, anywhere to any Bedni ? RANDOM event ?
Can someone tell me, how is not possible that a Chunni/duppata when thrown towards the desired woman participating in the group, cannot miss the cloth landing on her head ?
How it is not possible that the Bedni's cannot have MULTIPLE sardhakai's and then how does it make sense that a Bedni can wear Sindoor, Mangasutra and Bichua(toe-rings) on behalf of a SINGLE man/thakur.

If this has been discussed before, could someone provide me the link ?

BTW is a sardhakai done as a random event with a chunni being thrown at someone? From what we saw here, there seems to be a ritual to it. Several thakurs sent chunni to Sugni's house the day AFTER the rai dance and she was supposed to accept one. That's why Vikram Singh's chunni landing on her is seen as symbolic more than an actual event. Much in the same way as if a man was picking up a sindur dibba, and by chance dropped some on a woman's hair, it would not mean they are married, but such a scene can be used in a movie to hint at the story to come. I guess thakurs follow a particular protocol with regard to sardhakai, they send the chunni, with money etc, and the girl can accept only one of the chunnis. Hence no multiple problem at one time.

If bednis can go from thakur to thakur I don't know what their sindur etc depicts though. Just some sort of empty gesture towards respectability?

Quote

Shridevi Gaddam

@0-SD-0

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

About Rai dance...

A professor in one of the You tube videos during a cultural event for Madhya Pradesh..Bundelkhand region was saying...

RAI yaani ki RAHAAI

meaning a dance of relief.

She said this dance is done in praise of God and in those circular movements, the dance very easily relieves us taking into trance kind of thing...like most dances with the physical movements take our mind to higher realms.

So RIHAAI dance technically can be done by anyone. But it got restricted to this Bedia tribe through exploitation from MEN from their own community and MEN from other community.

MEN from their own community ---> They don't want to work. LAZINESS, SLOTH age old problem, nothing new about it.
MEN from other community ---> can easily get these women for their sexual exploits when they pay the men of those Bedia women
Why Bedia women follow this ---> because of IGNORANCE and OPPRESSION from within their society and external society

SOURCE of INCOME

Dance: Women who does Rai dance earns money each time she is invited to dance at any ceremony.
Sexual Service : in the name of Sardakhai, prostitution is legalised in the community. That legalization happens through application of Sindoor and all paraphernalia.

While I am understanding these basics...I am just curious about formalities as peace and decorum prevails in any good or bad busiess where sexual attraction can easily lead to political feuds between the Thakurs where rivalry exists between men or for that matter between the competitive bedia women.

The GOOD thing about any TRIBE is that sociologically they are BOUND to each other by rules. They are much more close-knit than URBAN/advanced Indian societies.