I am again putting it from KRML...because Kesar in the coming episodes made me cry...never in my life I would have thought me to be the cry baby over a soap..and here I was..crying because he chose to make cry...
How do I put him in words! he is beyond everything!! I guess that is what is called 'Fanah!' He has so completely given himself, I guess he won't even recognize himself, if he meets himself on the road!
And I dont know what am I sayingš
he is gotten me so going round in circles!
It has to begin with Gulaal rushing towards him as the bacha is trying to mend his cycle na...and Gulaal comes and catches hold of his wrist!!
He so looked as if he has been suspended in a timeless zone with that touch na?? He looks at his wrist and her hand as if watching someone's else as if doubly making sure that it is his wrist which is within her clasp!
He so craves that na!! However he might be saying that he is ready to let her go! I guess he does believe or rather believed (after the DV break he has lost all hopes na) ..hoped against hopes that she would surrender...His heart did skip a beat and he looks so expectantly at her...but the moment he looks at her face and sees the worry and fear, he forgets everything, even himself!!
Owww..the way he searches her face as if for a glimpse of something else but sees stark fear, he blinks himself back and totally goes into 'Gulaal' mode!!
And the way he patiently waits for her to overcome those moments and say something..and reads the letter and gets into the 'Kesar' mode again... Ready to take over whatever had worried her!!
And when she says that she is afraid!! He looks at the woman who has faced the darkest of fears and gravest of dangers! The woman who had got him out of his own fears is now afraid! He so looks as if trying to figure out torn between concern and his awe of this woman!!
And when she says that she doesnot want to lose him..you know I actually heard 'Kaise mujhe tum mil gai'! in the background!!
He so looks at her in wonder!! As if he cannot believe that she is there right in front of his eyes and in his life!! so humbled and bowled over by the sheer love that oozed from this woman for him...humbled him, brought him to his knees!!!
But what I love is that love not breaking him but making him a stronger man!! A man that he truly is!! behind all those boyish charm and tantrums he throws! See the change in his expressions !!! I swear he just kills me with this one!! How he grows from that tender lover to a man confident about his ability to protect her from anything as he asks her 'Do you trust me?'
He so craves that one trust factor! Her trust versus everything!!
And he tries to give her heart that he would not let anything happen to him ..after all she is his responsibility and then tries to put her at ease saying that till the time of the Deeyar vatu !!1
And it is symbolic na he leaves her arms at that moment!!
He so wants to bind her but then realizes that he cannot...he had promised he would set her free and so he does!!
and realizes that less than a month is left!!
Boy! that was one heart breaking moment!!
You know since he started this Pati rap of his, I always saw it this way that he wanted to rev her up from her slumber...as if saying ...Look at me!! For once Look at me!! I might not be there in your life tomorrow!! do you even realize that!!
And in that moment he realizes that he had forgotten that in making her realize he had forgotten that SHE might not be there in his life after a few days!!
That does break him na!! Again, he is at loss, in the dark, trying to take her name and find light!!! groping for straws!! And so it comes out automatically!!
Gulaal!! only few days have been left!! he repeats himself searching his face! For answers!! what will happen after that !! Where will they be!!
He is so happy with this small world they have created!! Doesnot need anybody!! and if he is trying to convince his family, it is only because he knows she needs his family's approval!! Otherwise it would never have mattered to him!! At any point of time!
And we know Gulaal would not be able to look into his eyes na!! She is so torn between the 'right' in her mind and 'right' in her heart!!!
And we know he is so not gonna stay like this!! The guys comes with a 'Vinati' and I really wanna slap him for being this ways!! I so wish he would get into that 'Pareshaani' mode!! and shake Gulaal!!!!
But the way he follows her, apprehensive walk and puts his request of living every moment so that he can have some good memories!! for life time1! I just love how he puts 'my memory!' not hers , not our memories!! My memories!!
He stands true to his promise na!! He wants her to move forward in her life!! With no memory burden on her!! Awww,,, I cant write this scene anymore I am just skipping it!! It is making me crying tons and I have his pain in my chest!! sheer injustice this is on me!!š
And the way he looks at her with that eternal craving in his eyes!! as if willing her to look at him and her slightest of smiles makes his day!! he so heaves a content smile...a smile through his tears!! just happy with what he is having right now!! I am not going to write anymore
and ofcourse this is the episode of the horrendous songš”
ignoring that...
I loved how Gulaal comes running after him with the tiffin, wiping it...it had such a realistic touch na...that is what housewives do...preparing tiffin at the end so that they stay warm and wipe the steamy beads and some spillovers on the tiffin while running to catch up with the bread earner who is about to leave!!!
Btw Gulaal!! you gave the same hanky with which you wiped the tiffin to your hubby to wipe his boootiful phasewa!!š” aise treat karte hai bache koš