Posted:
ok i borrowed the title from computer books like windows for dummies etc.
my friends here i lay out all the characteristics to become a good bahu on
indian television. i dont say just sp bcos even other channels also have
sati vaitri ... gulp ... mil savitri bahus
u r free to add more points if u want to:
1. a bahu should make sure that she will do a blunder on the very
first day of her marriage or just a few days before marriage so that
the husband stays away from her on their first night. bcos its a sin
to sleep with ur husband on the very first night.
2. always wake up before 4 am. if u r not used to it then just keep an
alarm to wake u up at 3:45 am or better still dont go to sleep everynight
its ok for bahus to not get any rest & still do all the household work all day.
3. always follow ur mil like a saaya saying 'maaji mein yeh karu maaji mein
vo karu'
4. make sure that u spend the maximum hours of everyday in the kitchen
& with the remaining time u have go to baazaar to do some more kitchen
work like buying groceries.
5. even if any of ur in-laws r at fault always & i mean always take the blame
on urself. thats what good bahus do. its ok even if whoever u have protected
doesnt value u.
6. poke ur nose on every single damn thing that happens in the house but
please dont mind even if others say 'bahu tumhe kisne yeh adhikaar diya
ki tum aisa faisla lo'. u r free to cry however
7. and if u cry bcos u r having a hard time at ur in-laws make sure that only
U know about it & when ur own family members like ur own parents call u
or come to visit u hide ur sorrows & give a fake smile & say 'sab theek hain ma or
papa or baavuji or whatever (who cares))'
8. spend maximum time of ur life with ur mom-in-law even if she doesnt acknowledge
it & gets angry if u spend just 2 secs with ur husband.
9. husband se thoda door hi rehna bcos mummiji ko pasand nahin aayega
10. if husband makes some plans with u make sure that u decline him bcos
u have loads & loads of work in kitchen & around the house. its ok even if
servants r there. they r only there for name sake. ultimately bahu is the main servant
& she has to look after the whole house.
11. always hide matters from ur husband bcos u dont want him to get hurt.
its ok if he misunderstands u bcos of ur hiding & scolds u. husband ko
daantne ka haq hain
12. when husband (if he ever gets 1 min free time alone with his wife) wants
to do some romance with u stop him saying 'yeh kya kar raho ho koyin aa jaayega'
bcos closing doors is against our parampara & sanskar
13. and if by chance he hugs u become a superwoman with all shakti to relieve
urself of his hug bcos on indian tv forget consummating the marriage just doing
romantic talk is also a sin
14. and keep making promises to ur husband only to break them everytime
just like every new year v all make resolutions but how many of us actually
follow it probably none.
15. always wear saree with loads of jewellery, sindoor (its ok if u finish a sindoor
dabba in one day itself) & so many bangles that ur hand should not be visible.
basically the idea is bahus ko apna badan ko dakhlena chahiye, haath, sir,
neck kuch bhi dikhana nahin chahiye
16. and please dont wear nightie, salwar kameez etc. they r all indecent clothes.
they dont cover ur body well.
17. also if u want to do anything i mean simple things like if u want
to take ur mother's call, visit her etc. take permission from ur mil. if she says
ok only then u should proceed.
18. even if ur husband is having an extramarital affair & treats u like trash,
u still wait for him to leave the other lady & come back to u & beware this is the
only time when u can take him back 'with open arms'
19. u should never get angry even if one of ur in-laws tries to kill u. u should
say 'aa maar mujhe. main tayyar hum marne ke liye'
20. and last but not the least if ur mil tells u 'tumhaare vaje se mujhe pota nahin
mila. baanj kahin ki'. NEVER I MEAN NEVER answer her back saying
U IDIOT KAHAAN SE PAIDA KARTI MEIN BACCHA. SAARA SAARA TIME THO MEIN
AAPKE PAAS REHTI HOON. AAPKE BETE SE THODI DER VAQT BITAAYE THO
PAIDA KARU NA BACCHA' instead u should cry, cry, cry & say to urself 'mein
baanj hoon mein baanj hoon. kalmohi hoon nigodi hoon, mein is dharati
pe bhoj hoon' (even if u weight only 35 kgs bcos u have not eaten aaram se
ever since since u have got married).
friends i am not sorry for writing such a long post bcos i know many of u
write longer posts than this. and if u have more points other than these
please do add them & v all will publish a book on this.
my friends here i lay out all the characteristics to become a good bahu on
indian television. i dont say just sp bcos even other channels also have
sati vaitri ... gulp ... mil savitri bahus
u r free to add more points if u want to:
1. a bahu should make sure that she will do a blunder on the very
first day of her marriage or just a few days before marriage so that
the husband stays away from her on their first night. bcos its a sin
to sleep with ur husband on the very first night.
2. always wake up before 4 am. if u r not used to it then just keep an
alarm to wake u up at 3:45 am or better still dont go to sleep everynight
its ok for bahus to not get any rest & still do all the household work all day.
3. always follow ur mil like a saaya saying 'maaji mein yeh karu maaji mein
vo karu'
4. make sure that u spend the maximum hours of everyday in the kitchen
& with the remaining time u have go to baazaar to do some more kitchen
work like buying groceries.
5. even if any of ur in-laws r at fault always & i mean always take the blame
on urself. thats what good bahus do. its ok even if whoever u have protected
doesnt value u.
6. poke ur nose on every single damn thing that happens in the house but
please dont mind even if others say 'bahu tumhe kisne yeh adhikaar diya
ki tum aisa faisla lo'. u r free to cry however
7. and if u cry bcos u r having a hard time at ur in-laws make sure that only
U know about it & when ur own family members like ur own parents call u
or come to visit u hide ur sorrows & give a fake smile & say 'sab theek hain ma or
papa or baavuji or whatever (who cares))'
8. spend maximum time of ur life with ur mom-in-law even if she doesnt acknowledge
it & gets angry if u spend just 2 secs with ur husband.
9. husband se thoda door hi rehna bcos mummiji ko pasand nahin aayega
10. if husband makes some plans with u make sure that u decline him bcos
u have loads & loads of work in kitchen & around the house. its ok even if
servants r there. they r only there for name sake. ultimately bahu is the main servant
& she has to look after the whole house.
11. always hide matters from ur husband bcos u dont want him to get hurt.
its ok if he misunderstands u bcos of ur hiding & scolds u. husband ko
daantne ka haq hain
12. when husband (if he ever gets 1 min free time alone with his wife) wants
to do some romance with u stop him saying 'yeh kya kar raho ho koyin aa jaayega'
bcos closing doors is against our parampara & sanskar
13. and if by chance he hugs u become a superwoman with all shakti to relieve
urself of his hug bcos on indian tv forget consummating the marriage just doing
romantic talk is also a sin
14. and keep making promises to ur husband only to break them everytime
just like every new year v all make resolutions but how many of us actually
follow it probably none.
15. always wear saree with loads of jewellery, sindoor (its ok if u finish a sindoor
dabba in one day itself) & so many bangles that ur hand should not be visible.
basically the idea is bahus ko apna badan ko dakhlena chahiye, haath, sir,
neck kuch bhi dikhana nahin chahiye
16. and please dont wear nightie, salwar kameez etc. they r all indecent clothes.
they dont cover ur body well.
17. also if u want to do anything i mean simple things like if u want
to take ur mother's call, visit her etc. take permission from ur mil. if she says
ok only then u should proceed.
18. even if ur husband is having an extramarital affair & treats u like trash,
u still wait for him to leave the other lady & come back to u & beware this is the
only time when u can take him back 'with open arms'
19. u should never get angry even if one of ur in-laws tries to kill u. u should
say 'aa maar mujhe. main tayyar hum marne ke liye'
20. and last but not the least if ur mil tells u 'tumhaare vaje se mujhe pota nahin
mila. baanj kahin ki'. NEVER I MEAN NEVER answer her back saying
U IDIOT KAHAAN SE PAIDA KARTI MEIN BACCHA. SAARA SAARA TIME THO MEIN
AAPKE PAAS REHTI HOON. AAPKE BETE SE THODI DER VAQT BITAAYE THO
PAIDA KARU NA BACCHA' instead u should cry, cry, cry & say to urself 'mein
baanj hoon mein baanj hoon. kalmohi hoon nigodi hoon, mein is dharati
pe bhoj hoon' (even if u weight only 35 kgs bcos u have not eaten aaram se
ever since since u have got married).
friends i am not sorry for writing such a long post bcos i know many of u
write longer posts than this. and if u have more points other than these
please do add them & v all will publish a book on this.
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