I was listening to Noor-e-Khuda (movie My name is Khan) while typing, you can try that too 😊 havent checked for typos 😳
Part 18
A red sky welcomed her as she came out of her house. Leaves flew around with the wind that was not blowing merrily.
It felt menacing as if it had a lot of secrets to tell,
As if it laughed at her naivety,
As if it already knew what she was venturing to find out.
As if it was a sharp, long nosed old lady who bobbed her head knowingly, saying, "I told you so!"
She went forward with surefooted steps. The first step though had taken her a lot of courage and grit. She was doing something she hadn't done for a long time, she had avoided it like plague, and she had denied it like a pigeon closing its eyes in the face of a cat, an ostrich pushing its head in the sand.
She…………
She was facing reality for the first time.
She had always wished that if she tried hard enough, she will prevent the demons from marring the paradise she had built around her.
Closing her eyes, she filled her lungs with air and let it go slowly, trying to relax her nerves. Making sure she had her handbag under her arms she sat in the car carefully and instructed the driver on where to take her. As the engine revved up to life and the car moved a few inches forward she felt her heart clutch with fear and anxiety as she quickly looked forward opening her mouth to call out for him.
Him, who had always been there for her, her knight in shining armor,
Him, who had cared the most for her his entire life,
Him, without whom she felt loneliest,
Him, whose umbrage she could never bear,
Him, with whom after a very long time she hadn't spoken to for more than a day now.
But she at once sat back holding herself from doing it again, relying on him for every problem, and each difficulty she came across. He had carried her burden for a long time now. It was time for her to carry it on her own, time to let go of him. Whatever was missing in her life was not his doing so why should he bear the brunt of it all.
The night some 30 hours ago had opened her eyes to what had been in front of her right from the start. But she had been too desperate for some semblance of normalcy in her life that she hung on the mirage despite everything. The relief she felt at not being pitied anymore was too good a deal to be given away. So she had evaded everything, circumvented around the gaping holes in her life and buried herself in the castle of love she had built around her.
To people around her she had appeared happily in love but no one knew the coldness that had seeped in with time, the irritation she felt for the same love that she showed the world to be her treasured possession. Because she had denied accepting that she felt cold, that she was irritated. She had denied the glaring feebleness of the excuses dished out to her so many times. She had denied the looks she had caught that should have been for her but were focused on someone else.
Denial outlined her life with bold and black strokes.
With a start she came out of her thoughts as the car came to a halt outside a multi-storey building.
Stepping out, she looked up at the intimidating structure in front of her.
"ICICI Bank Limited" said the board that too looked down dauntingly at her.
All her life she had tried to get everything done in the safe confines of her home, to avoid the prying eyes of people, the sympathy in slight tut tut of tongue she heard when she passed by people. Clothes, jewelry, puja items, kitchen stuff, she had bought everything at home, either by calling people to come or ordering over the Internet. For her financial tasks she had always relied on the men in her life.
With a thudding heart she went in the door that had been opened for her. The plush interior, people walking around in orbits of their own, oblivious of anyone and everyone around them, did nothing to soothe her rattled nerves. Nervously, she looked around trying to figure out where to go.
"May I help you?" she heard someone say and she turned in the direction from where the sound had come to spot the reception desk on her right. Mentally reprimanding herself for not looking for the reception she went there and asked for Mr. Abhinav Shukla who used to handle all their accounts. The receptionist contacted Mr. Shukla informing him of her arrival and gave her directions to his room.
Mr. Abhinav Shukla was already standing with the door open as she approached his room.
"Namaste Ms. Anjali Singh Raizada! To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" he said in his very officially courteous way. He had been able to hide his surprise by then at her visit for she had never come before.
"I…. Actually….I…..umm if I need to know when and how much was deposited and withdrawn from my personal account and my joint account… what do I do?" she asked with uncertainty laced with every word, hoping the other person will not laugh at her.
"Haven't you checked the balance sheets that we send every six months? They basically have all the transactions carried out on your account," he explained smiling kindly at her.
"ummm no they directly go to the office, I have never really cared about them, but I have to do something for which I just needed to know all this," she tried to explain without giving any extra information.
Although Mr. Shukla was surprised for she could have easily asked her brother without bothering to come here, he showed nothing from his expressions as he punched in a few keys on his keyboard to retrieve the required information. He handed over the prints to her saying, "Why don't you sit here and comfortable go through them, if you have any questions I'll be willing to answer and explain."
Sitting back she first looked at the balance which was a meager Rs. 30, 000. She had a sinking feeling in her heart as she began to realize that the hunch she had been feeling may be correct. Then she went on to study the document in detail. Regular withdrawals through ATM were shown and she remembered how she had often found her ATM card at places where she never remembered putting it and on top of it all her ATM sms alerts were directed to her husband's cell. A few cash check transactions were shown as well and a few being quite recent. She did remember signing the checks but the amount quoted did not look familiar. These checks had been for charity to different organizations, including orphanages, charity hospitals. Her mistake had been that she had given cash checks instead of cross checks.
By now her hands had started to shake and she had a sinking feeling in her heart. The fantasy castle around her came crumbling down like cards. Hoping against hope she got up to go verify from these organizations themselves. Thanking Mr. Shukla she got up and went out.
Clutching the balance sheet in her hand she again sat in the car, this time going to an orphanage where she had been sending charity for some time now. Throughout the drive she formulated sentences in her mind to talk to the authorities.
How was she going to ask them for the exact amount they had received from her?
What if they ask her why she wanted to find out?
What if…..
What if all her fears came true?
And they did!
How many minutes are there in 2 hours? 120
How many seconds? 7200
That was it!
Two hours was all that it took for her life to be completely demolished,
120 minutes to shake each and every belief she had
7200 seconds and she found herself standing on shifting sands.
She was standing outside the orphanage, people bustled about, cars honked, motorbikes whizzed by but she was oblivious to everything. She was frozen in time. What was she going to do now, where was she going to go now? Slowly, gradually she felt her nerves numbing down and a haze took over and soon she stopped thinking, she fell unconscious, unconscious to everything around her.
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