I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life.
Chapter 2:
"That was a good lunch!" said Beckwith. "The karela was exceptional and Arnav farted only once. And it wasn't particularly pungent either."
"Who was that Arnav? I forgot to ask?" asked Khushi seriously.
"I dunno!" said Arnav apologetically.
"Of course you know. We always know who it is." Said Beckwith scornfully.
"Well, I know his name. It's Chirag Rao Bhondwe. But I don't remember who he is!" said Arnav ruefully.
"You don't even know who it is who's cursing you on Earth? And you fart like you live on Broccoli! Man, you SHOULD be in hell. Who let you into heaven?" asked Beckwith exasperatedly. Arnav looked embarrassed but said nothing.
"Do you want to know why he's in heaven?" asked Khushi, a martial light kindling in her eyes at this criticism of the man only she was allowed to diss.
"Yes, pray tell. From what I can see, or rather hear and smell, it seems like he doesn't belong!" said Beckwith.
"He belongs because he made the greatest sacrifice of them all." Said Khushi.
"Eh?" asked Beckwith.
"You know that saying about how if you really love someone you should set them free?" she asked.
"No. I was an astrophysicist, not a sap collector. For recreation, I read Nietzsche!" said Beckwith.
"Nietzsche! Phooey!" said Khushi. "Much Nietzsche knew about true love!"
Is Nietzsche in heaven?" asked Arnav interestedly. "Since he famously declared that God was dead on Earth, I am wondering if HE took him into heaven?" he said tilting his head upward.
"Yeah. He's here. In the playpen section," said Beckwith, wiping his brow and shaking his head. "All the philosophers, they choose the playpen for their eternal journey. I think it's because they led such tortured lives and had so little fun on Earth that they want to remain children forever in Heaven. So yeah, Nietzsche, Kafka and Spinoza are all together playing hide and seek in the Playpen," Beckwith said, as if the thought caused him pain.
"Back to what I was saying. Kafka is all very well if you want to understand why men turn into insects, but if you want to know why Arnav is in Heaven you must understand the saying," Khushi said impatiently. The afterlife had not impacted her practical streak.
"What is the saying Khushi and why must I know it?" Beckwith sighed.
"If you love someone let them go.
If they stay away then they were never yours to begin with.
If they come back then they are yours to keep." She said.
"And he did this?" asked Beckwith.
"He did!" said Khushi, smiling crookedly at Arnav. She took his hand and sat down next to him on their bench. Beckwith sat next to her. They looked on to that lush green meadow where Laxmi grazed, and that crystal clear rock-lined pond. The sky was a freshly laundered blue. Khushi began talking of days long gone. Of times of passion, despair, hatred, and the rekindling of a love that she'd thought impossible.
September 2012:
19 days she'd been gone. 19 days he hadn't seen her, or heard from her. He didn't even know where she was. She'd told no one. The not knowing was killing him. He just needed to know she was OK. That she had a place to go to. That she was safe. But she'd decided a clean break was best. He'd let her go. He had to. She'd kept her end of the deal up.
"Stay."
"Why?"
"I love you!"
"You love the idea of being in love with me. You don't actually love ME."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not. Everything has a purpose. This contract marriage has served its purpose. Time to let it go."
"It's not a contract anymore. It ceased being a contract a long time ago. Heck, it was probably never a contract. You and me Khushi. It can never just be business between us."
"The baby is born. Anjaliji has recovered her health. My time is up. Let me go."
"Khushi, please."
Silence.
"When?"
"Tomorrow."
"Where will you go?"
"Away from here."
"Will you at least take some money?"
"If you will give it to me gift wrapped in my dignity."
"If I could return all I've taken from you, I would. But I've taken so much, that I don't even know what's mine and what's yours anymore."
"You want a list? Let's see. My self-respect, my faith in human nature, my ability to love. I think you've ensured I've become as emotionally stunted as you, actually. A female ASR. Just what the world needs!"
"I'm sorry. Go. But please take some money. And let me know that you're safe wherever you go."
"f**k the hell off."
January 2013:
Dear Khushi,
The smell of you still lingers in our room. In our closet. In the saris you left behind. And there are still bits and pieces of you here. A bindi stuck on the mirror. A bangle left behind in your drawer. A pom pom from your hair piece. I hated those pom poms. And now, I'd do anything for one glimpse of them swinging around as you walk by. Baby Suhani sends her love. I can hardly bear to look at her. She looks, for some unknown reason, like you. But then, I can hardly bear to look away.
Love,
Arnav
Dear Arnav,
I am well. Suhani is a nice name.
Yours sincerely,
Khushi
February 2013:
Dear Khushi,
I ate Jalebis today. 3 of them. Baby Suhani licked the syrup. She seemed to like it.
Love,
Arnav
Dear Arnav,
Please check sugar level ASAP. Also, please don't feed Baby Suhani Jalebi chashni again. Too much high fructose corn syrup.
Khushi
March 2013:
Dear Khushi,
How's school? Baby Suhani said "Poobah" today. I think she might grow up to be a stand up comic. Either that, or an Aeronautical engineer. Her mother thinks doctor, though.
Love,
Arnav
Dear Arnav,
Please let Baby Suhani enjoy her childhood before you plan her life. And tell Anjaliji I said that too.
Yours Sincerely,
Khushi
May 2013
Dear Khushi,
No email for 3 weeks. I am worried. Even Baby Suhani is frowning.
Love,
Arnav
Dear Arnav,
I was studying for finals. Baby Suhani is probably just gassy.
Yours sincerely,
Khushi
September 2013
Dear Khushi,
Yesterday went by so quickly. Too quickly. But, to see you again. It was the best quick day of my life. Baby Suhani misses you. She's grizzling awfully since you left.
Love,
Arnav
Dear Arnav,
Baby Suhani is grizzling because you gave her ice-cream yesterday.
Yours truly
Khushi
November 2013
Dear Khushi,
It's Diwali today. I hope your new year is filled with light. Baby Suhani looks pretty in her pink lehenga.
Love,
Arnav
Dear Arnav,
Happy Diwali. I think you should stop calling Suhani baby Suhani. She's 15 months old now.
Yours sincerely
Khushi
December 2013
Dear Arnav,
I am coming home for Christmas.
Your,
Khushi
"I don't understand. You wrote each other a series of emails and that's it? That's the big love story? Why'd you go back?" asked Beckwith puzzled.
Khushi shook her head at him. "You weren't married on Earth were you?" she asked.
"No. But I had 2 mistresses." Replied Beckwith. "Not at the same time!" he said hastily, as he saw them give him a strange look.
"When you are married to someone and you live with them 24/7, there's a certain getting to know each other process that takes a while. And then. Boom. One day you know each other so well, that you can predict almost everything of the other person. And I came to understand that he couldn't do without me. And I had enough insight to know I didn't want to do without him." She finished.
"So, why'd you go away in the first place?" asked Beckwith.
"Because I was the world's biggest Jackass!" Arnav intervened.
"I have no trouble believing that!" said Beckwith. Khushi swatted his hand. "It's a good story. You want to hear it or not?" she asked.
"I do. I absolutely do. I'm all ears Arnav," said Beckwith.
"Well, it all began with my stupid idea for a contract sham marriage," Sighed Arnav.
Next chapter:
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints
Tell me what you think people! Also, I am sorry...I did write a little angst into this one. But, not an angst OD no? In any case, too much angst? Check this out.
Cheers!
Vidhya
Edited by madmaxine - 13 years ago
Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Shiv Shakti
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