Posted:
sorry chika, but stongly disagree with the underlined part. If you re-read your post carefully, you will find that it is all ABOUT koki. She has always put herself first. She did not allow ahem to have a proper childhood so that he can be a working machine to make HER proud. She did not consider her own son's happiness and desire when choosing his wife because she wanted a girl that suited HER. she didnot think about weather ahem and gopi would be happy with each other as long as they both behaved according to HER. She never thought of herself or ahem as part of the family. She decides for everyone else, but when someone tells her what to do, she goes in her angry mode...why? She is mad at gohem because they are not behaving according to HER, but has she stopped to wonder for a second, 'is my ahem a bit happier, calmer and nicer person these days? what is bringing this change? is this change good for my son?' NO...its all about HER DESIRES, HER WISHES, HER DREAMS.I have a lovely mother-in-law, and the best thing about her is that she cares about both me and my husband and wants us both to be happy, even if it means that we live life differently than her thoguhts. she encourages me to be a better person but what makes her the best MIL is that she always tells my husband that I am their responsibility and that she promised my parents that their daughter would always be loved in her house. so she tells my husband to always put me first. That to me is a good MIL because she wants her CHILDREN to be happy, not HERSELF.Parents who want their children to fulfill the dreams that they themselves couldn't, at the cost of the childrens' happiness are essentilly being selfish and unfair to their kids. No matter how much they try and convince themselves that what they are doing is for the kids.
Jiya.. Totally agree that parents should not try to live through their children.
But see that is the first thing they will want when they have their dreams shattered. It is human nature. Somebody like Hetal would never do that.. But Kokila has come up fighting against adversities. She lost her dreams in her marriage. She wants the best for her son. She wants him to excel and succeed in life unlike her.
Although not correct, I will not say she was selfish either. She has done all this based on her dreams. Ahem being where he is today is good for him. He has become successful and has gained respect. Something his father lacked.
Koki just did not want her son to undergo the same pain she underwent. Her intentions are good. She does want Ahem to be happy but she misunderstands his happiness equating herself to him. She sees herself in him. If we think it is selfish , then yes. A mother will always be selfish in wanting the best for their children. If being strict is what it takes, they will do it too..
But it is also woman like her who learn quicker than the rest. The minute Koki finds that she is hurting Ahem, she will repent. She will let him live his life. She has just not realized that yet.
Kumkum Bhagya
Tum Se Tum Tak
Sampoorna
Jhanak
