Hi All
It is amazing to read everyone's ff, os and ss about Ahem looking after Gopi when he brings her home. We are all on the same level and wanting the same things. I wanted to concentrate on Ahem's feelings so wrote this. Apologies in advance if I duplicate anything. It is purely unintentional. Sorry if it waffles.
"GOPI!!!!" Ahem Modi woke with a start and sat up in bed. His was breathing fast and heavy and he was covered in a cold sweat. Another nightmare. The same one since that fateful night of the accident five days ago. It would always start with seeing Gopi, illuminated by the car's headlights looking like a scared rabbit. How he had taken hold of her hands and reassured her. He had failed her. She had got hurt. Time and time again his mind haunted him with the image of a lifeless Gopi and him calling her name. Helpless and bereft. He always woke at the same moment. Tonight was no different and he groaned. He wiped his forehead and got out of bed. In the bathroom he splashed cold water on his face and looked at his reflection in the mirror and instead saw Gopi's face. Deathly pale, lying on the stretcher as they wheeled her into the hospital. He had pleaded with her to stay awake to open her eyes to no avail. Drying his face, he threw the towel on the bed and decided to go down to get some water.
Once in the kitchen he decided against water and decided he wanted some tea instead. He hunted round for the pot added the water and then put it on the burner. Looking around for the lighter he wondered why they did not possess a kettle. Lighting the burner. He stood by the hob and waited for the water to boil, added the tea and strained the liquid into a cup. He brought it out to the dining table and sat down. Took a sip of the tea and grimaced. Not quite how he wanted it. He put down the cup and covered his face with his hands and sighed.
"Ahem? What are you doing down here?" Chirag stood behind him. Ahem turned round. Something in him wished that it was his father standing there. He had feelings that he could not understand and needed some guidance.
"I couldn't sleep Kaka. I thought that if I came down and got a drink I would feel better." Chirag put his hand on Ahem's shoulder and sat down next to him.
"You could have asked your Kaki to make you tea." Ahem shook his head. "This week has been tough for all of us especially you. But thank god that Gopi is recovering." Ahem cradled the cup with both hands.
"I just can't get the image out of my mind. I couldn't protect her." Chirag turned full on to face Ahem. He was torturing himself and something needed to be said before he went mad.
"Ahem, look at me." he commanded. Ahem turned to face Chirag. "Now listen to me. OK so you couldn't help Gopi then. But you got her to hospital so that she could get the help she needed. You are feeling bad but that is normal. When you love someone you don't ever want to see them getting hurt." Ahem sighed.
"Is it love?" he asked. "Not less than six months ago I could not stand the sight of her. But now ……" he trailed off. Chirag smiled.
"Love does not have to be instantaneous. It creeps up on you. What is it that you feel?" Ahem looked at him questioningly.
"I'm not sure," Ahem replied but then stopped, reliving everything all over again. "Kaka, when the ceiling came down on her my heart stopped. In the hospital of my own free will I confirmed that she was my wife and that in front of a stranger. I was beside myself when she was in the operating theatre. And when the doctor said that she had not regained consciousness and would go into a coma, I wasn't going to let that happen."
"And you brought her round. Whichever technique you used to do so you used the one that you knew would have an affect-anger. You didn't pamper her. You knew her well enough to know that it wouldn't work. Only you were able to do that." Ahem nodded, realising that he could no longer deny that he felt anything for Gopi. "Don't analyse anything. Continue to build your relationship is my advice. Cast out any thoughts you had and your life beforehand. You have been given a chance. Take it with both hands." Ahem looked at him, grateful to his Kaka for making some sense of his jumbled emotions.
"Thank you, Kaka."
Chirag stood up and squeezed Ahem's shoulder. "Now finish your tea and try and get some rest. I take it that you will be at the hospital in the morning." Ahem nodded. "OK. We'll cover your meetings. Take as much time as you need."
