But...are ABCD's really confused?????

Hi debators !! I have a fresh new debate for you now that i am back!😛

What is a ABCD????????????????? Yes we all know its an "American Born Confused Desi"!!!! So who are these people? Are they all American born desi's we affectionalely label as ABCD???????????? Or are these people "REALLY CONFUSED"

At a party with my friends we ended up on this argument. Some of my friends are ABCD's..........meaning they are Indians born in the U.S........But the point of debate was two things:

Type A) There are certain Desi's who are completely Westernised and don't have an iota of interest in their home land. They don't pretend to be Americans...........but are Americans. They don't speak the lang, neither do they eat Indian food, only mix with the Whites,know very little about their culture, and infact even look Hispanic !!

Type B) They are born in the U.S. But have only mixed with the Desis. They could never fit in with their American class mates. They enjoy Indian music, food , culture. They live in the U.S but don't fit in. When they go back to their country..........THEY DON'T FIT IN THERE AS WELL!!!!!


So my questions is are they both confused? Or is type B or Type A more confused than the other?????????????????

Or is "confused" word un- neccesary??????????!!!!!!!!?????????

When i asked my American born friends if they felt confused about their identity. Neither type felt confused as Type A believed he was an American. Nor did Type B as she felt Indian through and through!!! SO if neither is confused then i am confused!! Well i hope you aren't !!!!😉😳

So all you ABCD's.................tell me are you confused??????????😉

well personally i have neva seen ne americans n only speak 2 javs n others dun know but javs always seems confused lol j/k i cant really comment on it but lets c it from bbcd british born confused desi i see alot of em they who r modernised n ashamed of hanging out with other desis but most in my school hang out wid desis

Aparna this is great topic.

All my first cousins except me and my brother are American born in our family. I have my daughter now, but she is too young to relate right now.

I think most of the time kids who are "confused" (yes, there is this category who are confused)are more due to parents pressure. Parents try to teach their kids and impose some Indian culture and language and food, which is resisted so much by kids that they at some point are not sure what they should be doing. Like some Indian parents forcing them to go in medical or engineering field, or speaking only their indian language, or eating only indian food even at school, not wearing certain clothes, not dating guy in high school or to an extend even have a date in prom.

I think "we" are parent choose to have our kids being raised and born in this country and so parents should be open and let their kids take lot from American culture too. To be frank, kid who is born in America is more American than Indian. Most of her friends at school are going to be American, they will see them eat different, etc. then parents should not force them to adopt everything indian.

I think kids should be exposed but not imposed to any culture. If they are they really get "confused". Like right now, my daughter call all our indian friends as "uncle" "kaka" "chachi" etc. etc. and then I expect her to call our american friends by name or last name. She does get confused at times 😕. I myself have different rules for two different community then ofcourse it'll make my daughter confuse at some point. Like when our indian neighbour friend comes for a play date he almost end up having dinner with us as he does not want to go home to eat. And when we have our american friend have as date it has to pre-planned and asked by parents way ahead before she could stay over for dinner. So she does argue at times why he can take dinner and why her mom said no. There are some small things that does confuse them at young age like pre-school, elementary, middle school, but once they get little older you can explain them better about some things, however, i guess bigger they get the problem gets bigger too so not sure 😕

Well, my kids are born here and I hired a nanny (Muslim by religion and wonderful lady..they still prefer her on me at times 😛 )
Since she had no clue on english so my kids picked up Hindi (Urdu from her.
When they wer 3yrs..i sent them to dya care so that they can interact with kids. They had no clue in english but with in 2-3 weeks..they strted very well english. They did have limited vocabulary in the begining..now are leading in ther class.
But on her birthdays and sleepovers she prefers indian friends. She will dance wiht them to bollywood songs and sing them
She was proud to present a Bharatnatyam piece in her 5th grade grduation. TO be frank..i was a little hesistant to have her wear all the costume..but she proudly went around being the center of attraction and when her performance came up...the hall for the first time was dead silent for 3 minutes. I guess now the teachers, friends all encourage them too. Some of her american friends learned some steps from hr and she learned irish steps from them..all her teacher tell her that she is lucky to know two languages.
In college I am not sure if this will create a problem or if she will get confused.
I have become good friends of some of her Americal and italian and irish parents. Their kids just love to be with her. if she misses the school..they call her and bring her home work.
So so far although she prefers Indian community more..she has friends in both ...now when time for boy friends and proms will come..i have no clue how i will react or she will. time will tell me if she is confused. So far she is carrying both cultures well.

Nice topic, well i am only 15 so i guess i can relate to this better....personally I dont feel like i am an ABCD...cauz i balance my indian and american side equally...for example I do perfer indian music and movies over american and indian food also over american....but then again my lookz are more western than indian...and ya my parents due have a lot of restirctions such as no boyfriendz or proms and all the other indian stuff girlz arent suppose to do...and i kind of agree with them...cauz at this time i really dont feel the need of a bf and my senior prom is still 2 yrz away so i can probably make them agree to go...and as far as being Indian goes i am quite proud to be an indian....recently me ansd my sis and some other non-indian girls did bhangra for a show at our school and everyone liked it a lot and wanted to learn a few steps so i guess itz cool being indian and american at the same time

gotta agree with ya dazzlingdesi...im 16 and born and raised in usa...my parents were born n raised in Pakistan so im a 1st generation ABD....basically, like DD, i an very intouch with my desi side...but im still american...im both...i mean as for friends i have a mixed group of friends (living in 1 of the most culturally diverse cities in the world i am lucky to experience something from every culture 😊) but most of my friends are desi..ABD..like me...its got nothing 2 do with "sticking with your own kind" or anything..itz jus that we can relate better and have more in common. i love desi food, clothes, culture etc...but im just as used to american stuff...but theres no real "american food" unless its hamburgers or something 😆 😆 😆 so whatever...but still i eat anything yummy (thats halal of course 😳) and i love tasting things from different cutlures. I dont know about the rest of America but my city is sooo culturally diverse that there is absolutely no way to not incorporate it into our lives. My school has international/multicultural week and its such a blast...1 day is dress up day and every1 wears cultural clothing another day is cultural food day and another day is flag day and another day is something else/potpurri..it varies year to year...and all this end with a HUGE cultural show with music, dances, poetry etc from all over the world...i love it...not only do i get to share my ethnicity but i get to learn about other people's culture. unlike other countries with a definite ethnicity, America is a country of immigrants. you can be white, black, yellow, brown or whatever and still be "America" (by the way i didnt mean those racial terms in any derogitory way..i was just trying to show the ethic variety our country has to offer). Being american isnt about being white or black or whatever its about being who you are. respect your culture and other people's culture and learn to live together in harmony. America is truly a country for immigrants and their future generations. I myself find it to be very true. I live in a very "Salad Bowl" city. there are people from all over the world and everyonehas managed to keep close ties with their culture while blending together as one. it is seriously a very beautiful thing and i feel blessed and privlaged to be living in such a great city 😃

i think type B more confused then type A

MASHALLLLL 😡
i wont let u go tht ez...come on MSN and i will take care of you 😉

i 100000000000000% DISAGREE with mashal's statement...y would a type b person be more confused? We know perfectly well who we are...we are in touch with our ethnicity and live and adjust to american culture....mashal, are trying 2 say that if i were 2 visit pakistan u wudnt accept me as a pakistani cuz i was born n raised here? 😕 ..ur brother disagrees 😉 ..its not us who are confised it is more of the type A people...they dont fit in in either place...and i think its good to moderately balance both...i balace me american-ness and my pakistani-ness together and i think that all ABD should do the same 😃

Originally posted by: ~LiL*PrInCeZ~

MASHALLLLL 😡
i wont let u go tht ez...come on MSN and i will take care of you 😉

i 100000000000000% DISAGREE with mashal's statement...y would a type b person be more confused? We know perfectly well who we are...we are in touch with our ethnicity and live and adjust to american culture....mashal, are trying 2 say that if i were 2 visit pakistan u wudnt accept me as a pakistani cuz i was born n raised here? 😕 ..ur brother disagrees 😉 ..its not us who are confised it is more of the type A people...they dont fit in in either place...and i think its good to moderately balance both...i balace me american-ness and my pakistani-ness together and i think that all ABD should do the same 😃

👏

i have won!
i just want to cheack ur thinking
u r a good girl who do balance b/t both
😉
mera khayal tha kay tum waisi nahin ho jaisa main soochti hoon mager main tumharay baray main bilkul theek sochti hoon 😳
im very happy to know u do care about ur true identity and values 😳