omg another unfinished ending... i hope arnav comes and kills him. then arnav can marry khushi instead. love this story very much. my favurite right now. i hope you write extra long chapter next time. cannot wait!!!!!!!!
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omg another unfinished ending... i hope arnav comes and kills him. then arnav can marry khushi instead. love this story very much. my favurite right now. i hope you write extra long chapter next time. cannot wait!!!!!!!!
Can I just say I rarely review fanfics. And I have read my fair share. But I felt it was my duty to let you know what an awesome writer you are. I just discovered this amazing story yesterday and have been unable to stop reading it since. You do justice to both the romance and action involved in the story. Watching is pyaar and reading this fanfiction is my idea of heaven. i can't believe this is your first story.
I absolutely love where you are taking this story and cannot wait to read more. i would say update soon but I want you to take your time so the pay off is great. I am officially a fan.I have to say I was very happy and relieved that someone was aware of Khushi's whereabouts. I know (or hope) that Khushi will be saved and that Arnav will be there soon. But the gun is very worrying. I hope Arnav and Khushi get away unscathed. I can cope with an unbelievable climax beforehand though.I would love it if you could add me to your PM list.
I'm late as usual in reviewing but here nonetheless. Hope its not too boring and long.
Chapter 9:
After the previous chapters high-voltage drama I was expecting you to pick up where you left off instead the better option was backtracking to show the events from a new vantage point. I had forgotten about Dev, but once again you very cleverly utilised all characters in your story by making Dev the link needed to get Arnav to swoop in and save his damsel in distress. It was lovely that you fleshed out his character a little more by informing the readers in one single sentence that Dev is married and desperately wanting to be home for Diwali. That combined with his fear of disappointing his boss again ensured that this time Dev got the job done, that photographic evidence will come into play sooner or later. Since, Arnav is arriving on the scene in person, he will most likely assess the situation himself but I doubt he'll relay the events to his Di in the name of protecting her feelings thus she will one again be kept in the dark. My guess is that perhaps the photos will be seen by Anjali in the near future, leading her to uncover the truth about her husband.
If I have not said this enough then let me say it now, I love your writing. I admire the way you depict the emotions of the characters especially when they introspect on a precious moment shared with their love interest i.e. Arnav's reflecting on the almost-kiss and in his trance-like state going back to the spot to relive the memory. These lines were great; "His mind tantalised him with snippets of her memory" and "It was an apt nickname her Bua-ji had given her, Titaliya. As quickly as she had fluttered into his grasp, she was gone again." "He had never had this depth of feeling with any woman who had come before Khushi and probably never would." ' oh how truly beautiful is his admission.
Ah, he found her 'crowning piece'; the flower hair-clip is one more Khushi-related memento for Arnav's growing treasure chest of memories. As in your FF he is yet to return her Mother's gifted payal.
It must be hard for Khushi to digest that the Saint Shyam turned out to be Satan Shyam. She is reeling from the shock that he managed to disarm and charm her entire family for months with the sole purpose to wed and 'bed' her (pardon the crass sentence but it is his cruel intentions). Shyam has been meticulously planning each step of his charade and now like any egomaniacal villain he spills the beans of his evil plans minutes before he is to execute them. This 'mentally unhinged' man so callously reveals he is married to Anjali but loves Khushi. His madness holds no bounds, his possessive grip on her arm as he questions whether her hesitation is due to his Saleh-Saab makes me wish for Arnav to be there in a heartbeat to break off that very hand for touching her.
Shyam pulling out that gun on the pundit reminds me of the most dramatic Indian drama wedding I've ever seen which was the first marriage of Dutta and Naku in LTL. It is a great device to get the pundit to comply and stop Khushi struggling to escape, now more than ever is she in need of her hero! And the audacity of this man that he is relishing in telling her that he did not spare even her Babu-ji is making me feel sick. Okay, I'm sounding blood-thirsty for repeatedly pleading for Shyam's redemption to begin with Arnav thrashing him black and blue but it is my heart's desire. Lol.
I'm officially a fan of your writing too. Please update soon sweetheart.
Chapter 10
Dev had kept on the couple's trail, which had led him to the rundown Mandir before him. Was this an attempt at an elopement he was heading into? ASR had only told him that Khushi-ji was in danger. Could she be in the middle of a love triangle, which featured his boss? Dev could tell that ASR had feelings for the girl. Was the "danger" she was in, nothing more than excuse for his boss to keep tabs on his ladylove? Or maybe he was jumping to conclusions on what little he knew. ASR would say he paid him to work not to think.
As Dev came to a stop out of sight of the couple, he zeroed in on what looked like Khushi-ji trying to run away. The look of fear sent ice into his veins. Dev was just about to jump out of the car when he got a call from ASR. The name on the display pulled him back out of his fight or flight reaction. He needed to proceed with caution and make sure he had to know what was really going on before he made any sudden moves. Dev answered the call.
"Dev, have they stopped yet? Where are they? What's going on?" ASR threw the questions out one after another, not giving him a chance to answer one before another question.
"We've stopped at a Mandir outside Delhi, Sir." He reported, while getting out of the car. Dev gave his boss the last few directions to get there.
The news that they were at a Mandir, made Arnav's world tilt on its head. How could she be getting married now when not long ago she had been in his arms?
"Where are they at this moment?" He rushed out
"They've entered the Mandir. I can't see them at the moment." He hated to admit the latter but he probably would be caught out later. He was getting used to how ASR's mind worked.
"What? How could you lose sight of them?" The anger was a physical thing reaching to him through the phone.
"I have full view of the Mandir, Sir. If they leave I will know."
"Shut up Dev, I don't want hear any excuses." Arnav took his frustration out on the only person available.
"What do you want me to do, Sir?"
"Do you have to ask? Follow them but stay out of sight. Don't make any moves without consulting me first".
"But-". Arnav cut off the call, before Dev could continue. Dev made his decision to follow the couple as he'd been instructed. With the frame on mind he was in, calling his boss would be a waste of time. Dev started to approach the Mandir by keeping to the shadows as ASR had told him to.
****************
Arnav drove like a bat out of hell. Would he be there in time?
How could she? How could she decide to marry when in that moment it felt like they had been meant for each other? Anger and hurt at the thought set his heart on fire. The heart he liked to believe didn't exist. How did she have this power to bring him, the great ASR to his knees? He mind veered away from his feelings. He had to focus on getting to the Mandir.
How far away was he? In the darkness he couldn't even tell. The trees surrounding him on either side looked like a huge black mass rushing by him. If he believed in her Devi Mayya, now would have been time to pray to it, that he would make it in time. But he wouldn't, he was too stubborn. Come on, Hurry.
************
Khushi was dazed. Everything was happening so fast. Was this reality? How could this happen to her. This was so far from what she had imagined when she was considering marrying the man her Bua-ji had proposed. It was a mockery of it; Shyam-ji was pointing a gun at the Pundit, for goodness sake. He seemed manically happy as she sat next to him, as the Pundit started the Mantra's. How was she going to stop this? Amma, Babu-ji..., Wait a minute,Babu-ji?
"Babu-ji." She whispered to herself. Shyam was so aware of his ladylove as he tied her scarf to the one had had hung around his neck, he swung to face her at the mumble.
"What is it Khushi-ji?" His was again in his weirdly agreeable mood. But Khushi took no notice of it.
"What did you do to Babu-ji?" She said strongly, angry at what he had implied before he had sat her down.
"Oh that? Well you see, you're Babu-ji was getting too close to the truth. First, with all that not liking me business, what's not to like? Then when his suspicions lead him to investigating me, I had to do something you understand Khushi-ji. I was planning to kill him but the stroke saved his life. Ironic, no?" He said it all so pleasantly, as if talking about in a park, not killing someone in cold blood.
Khushi felt she was going to be sick. After all she had learnt, this was the tip of the iceberg, one she had thought she has already reached when she had found out he was already married. The gun hadn't been just for show. He was willing to kill anyone who stood in his way.
Khushi-ji started to heave, bile rising in her throat, tears burning her eyes at the revolting of her body. She got up, unconsciously trying to get away to throw up. But he grabbed her before she got away. He fisted his hand in her hair, pulling her head back. The sudden move shocked her out of her heaving. He leaned in close.
"Enough of that! Sit down! Now! This is the last time I'm warning you. Next time I'm going to shoot the Pundit and I can't promise it won't be fatal." The menace in his voice cut her off at the knees and she slumped down on the floor, tears running down her cheeks.
"Why have you stopped? You will continue until we're married. If you dare even think about stopping, I won't hesitate in putting a bullet in your brain. Understand." The Pundit nodded and continued with the mantras. He felt sorry that he was committing such an atrocity; he prayed that the Devi would forgive him.
"It's time for the pheras, please stand". The pundit said in a quivering voice.
Shyam jerked Khushi up by the arm, pulling her up to stand beside him. He gestured for her to start walking around the holy fire, confident that she would lead the way. She could do nothing else after all he had threatened. He tucked the gun out of sight, as he made to follow her.
Khushi walked in a state of bewilderment. Was this what her Devi Mayya had in store for her? Did she want her to accept this sham of a marriage? Khushi was a great believer in her Devi Mayya but this? This was something she couldn't do, even if he had forcefully married her, she wouldn't accept Shyam as her husband. Not him, never a monster like him.
Please Devi Mayya, please stop this.
Khushi was pulled from her thoughts when a hand shot out and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop. Khushi fearfully looked up and it was as if her prayers had been answered. Was it really him? Or was her mind playing tricks on her? But his hand felt warm and fit securely around her wrist. It felt real. Devi Mayya let him be here.
Khushi was so happy to see him; she hadn't registered the thunderous expression that graced his face.
Arnav didn't know how he kept his anger in check. He could only see red. Khushi was betraying him in ways that he thought were impossible. She, who he had thought, wasn't of those small minded greedy masses of the lower class was in the process of marrying Shyam, his sister's husband. He would deal with the weasel in good time but the heart he wished didn't have cried out to him. He had to know why, but he couldn't bring the question to his lips. Arnav wouldn't own up to such vulnerability. Not now. He firmly shut the door on Arnav and from now on, there would only be ASR.
"Khushi, how dare you!" The cold words were said with such hatred, that they sent ice running though Khushi's veins.
Don't forget to review. Your words make me want to write. 😃
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