Chapter 12
I did not know how to fall in love, before I met you. Now that you are gone, I do not know how to stop.
12.00 pm:
After I escaped the head throbbing which nearly seemed to kill me, I decided to finally let go of my bed and take a shower. In these few hours, Armaan had made every possible attempt to get me out of the bed. And when I still didn't, determined to spend the rest of my life on this bed ('cause of the bad, bad headache!), he gave up and decided to go on a city tour on his own. I was absolutely fine of it, who needed him anyways? I thought sadly. Sad! Not sad! Happily, I decided.
"Aah!" I closed my eyes, feeling heavenly under the shower. My head was like a wire connection gone wrong, with thoughts muddled and jumbled in each other, for two reasons. I absolutely didn't believe Armaan, when he told me that I did not do anything crazy or stupid the previous night. That seemed a little too impossible, since I still had a bits of memory, which I couldn't completely understand, even though I tried to. In a small corner of my mind, absurd and silly thoughts aroused, though I tried to dismiss them, but they kept coming back as puzzles to me. Giving up to thought finally, I sighed, as the devil of the thought occupied most of my brain right now. I was drunk and vulnerable, would Armaan try to do take advantage of someone like that? I asked myself. I tried not to proceed in that direction, since Armaan had been great to me till now. No one else in my life, had ever made so many attempts to keep me happy, as he had in these few hours. Thinking of something like this could seriously offend him, if he came to know about it. I groaned my misery again, as the bit of memory flashed ahead of me again: Me, half naked like the other girls on the floor, in Armaan's arms. His blue eyes were no where else but locked to mine. Somehow all my feelings had magnified, while I was drunk, since I clearly remember a fuzzy warm feeling arising in my heart, and for the first time, I did not try to suppress it. It felt good the way he looked at me then. It felt.. perfect.
"Ugh!" Me and muddled thought again. Angrily, I picked up a towel and wrapped it around my body.
Who cares if I shared a dance with him? I was drunk! Drunk, I repeat! I don't think it counts. What is gone, is gone, I told myself. Now I will simply go out and try to have a nice time (and, not try to miss tonight's flight!).
So, engrossed in my thoughts, I didn't realize that Armaan present in the room, sitting on the bed, when I walked out of the washroom. It was not me who first got hold of the situation but him.
"OH, MY GOD!" He jumped up from the bed, his jaw tight and his expressions hardened for a moment.
"OH, MY GOD!" When he realized the situation, he covered his eyes again.
"OH, MY GOD, RIDDHIMA!" He yelled, trying to get out of the room, still covering his eyes. That is when I realized the situation, and wanted to bury myself immediately.
"Get out, Armaan, get out!" I yelled back at him, as he tried to figure out the way out. Not for a moment, did he open he eyes, as I closely watched him. Repeatedly, he banged his head to something or the other, muttering a "OW!" and then jumping right back, trying to figure a way out.
"Aw, shit! This hurts." He said, as his leg hit the coffee table and reflexively, he started hopping like a little bunny.
"Okay, I think I have found the door." He said, holding the door of the cupboard. I smiled, too embarrassed to say anything. And then he walked right in, hitting his head against the hard surface and falling down immediately.
"A little warning would have been nice, you know!" He said, rubbing his head, when I started noticed his cutest features for the first time. How come I hadn't noticed them before?
"Okay, I hope this is it." His hands held the door, still not opening his eyes. His hands moved around the space, trying to make sure that it was the door and nothing else.
"GET OUT!" I yelled.
"Okay, thank you." He ran out of the room and locked the room behind me immediately.
Silence.
I sat on the bed, staring at the towel wrapped reflection in front of me. She looked different, happy.
Instinctively, I cracked up, not able to withhold myself. I laughed to hard that my stomach and jaw started paining, and I realized that it had been a long time since I had laughed like this. But the way he banged against the things, and rubbed his head, with a deep frown on his forehead, it was so cute and hilarious. Not once did he open his eyes, my heart grew warm.
1.00 pm:
I felt strangely elated today. I felt beautiful today. So, I decided to wear something different for a change.. something that I wanted to wear.
Knowing that Armaan was waiting for me downstairs, I descended down the stairs in the lobby, where he sat on the couch, still in deep thoughts. Weirdly enough, I felt nervous, going up to Armaan Malik, that too in a dress I never thought I would wear. He did not look up, until a pretty looking girl came up to him. He dazzled her by smiling at her, giving her a small wink and immediately she pulled him into a hug, taking him by surprise.
"Miss?" As I walked down the stairs, I heard softly touch my shoulders. I turned around to find a very familiar face smiling at me.
"Harry? Don't you remember me?" I asked him, amused at his current expression.
"Oh no!" He said, "but yes, I had met a girl who looks exactly like you. The crazier version." He said, pretending to be still pondering about it. I laughed.
"And this to you is?" I asked him, unsure.
"Um, the more graceful and beautiful version." He told me, smiling.
"Thanks."
"Anytime."
"Oh, Harry?"
"Yes?"
"Um, yesterday-" I fumbled, still embarrassed and unsure of what to say.
"Um, when I got drunk yesterday.." I took a deep breathe, and decided to get it done with, although it was the most embarrassing thing of my life.
"Did I do anything, um, stupid?" I was still unsure why I asking about myself from a guy I hardy knew. But Harry seemed like a really nice and polite guy. Secondly, he reminded me of someone, someone who is very close to my heart... Rahul.
In response, Harry simply looked at me and laughed, taking me by surprise. After all my biggest fear was coming true; after all I had done something terrible, the fear took over me. I looked at him horror-stricken.
"Oh, you tried, trust me." He said, laughing, "but Armaan did not let you." He told me softly, looking at Armaan, clearly thinking something.
"He wouldn't let any guy near you, for crying out loud. Not even me." He laughed again, recalling the last nights incident. I shot him a quizzical look, and he laughed harder.
"Oh, Armaan had lots of trouble trying to take you to your room. You wouldn't listen to him." He laughed harder this time, and I grew red around my ears, embarrassed. It was better if I didn't ask him about the details, other wise I probably would have to bury myself.
"Oh, well. Thanks for telling me." I mumbled, trying to escape the embarrassment.
"Wait, Riddhima?"
"Yes?" I turned to find a different look on his face, a more serious look.
"I have never seen Armaan like this." He looked at Armaan, and I looked at him, trying to comprehend what he was trying to imply, "whatever it is, it is good." He said simply, smiling at me. When I frowned at him, curious, he sighed and continued, "he cares about you, Riddhima" He said. It did not take me much time to understand where this conversation was headed.
"Oh, yes. Armaan is a really nice guy, Harry." I turned to have a glance at him, to find him staring right back at me, taking me by complete surprise. Quickly, I looked away.
"I have made some really good friends in such a good time" I smiled at him, trying to divert the conversation, "and I really want you and Armaan to come to my wedding, alright?" I noticed the change in his expressions, from surprise to horror to slight sadness, although he tried to sound happy.
"Wow, wedding, huh? So, I guess I have lost my chance here." He joked, making me laugh.
I turned around to find Armaan, whose eyes were still set on me, immobile.
"Um, I guess I should go." I told Harry, who nodded in understanding.
"Sure. It was really nice to meet you, Riddhima." He gave me the most heart-warming smile, as if he really meant it.
"It was really nice to meet you. Please keep in touch." I told him. Harry, being a busy script writer, was heading back to India today. I knew it that Harry would be gone, once I come back the hotel. He nodded and left, while I descended down the stairs, still conscious of myself, knowing that Armaan was still watching me.
"Hey." My voice pulled him out of his tranced state. He scratched his head in slight embarrassment, caught red-handed, and mumbled a "hey" back.
"So where are we going today?"
"Huh?" He still looked a bit distorted. I wondered what was bothering him that much.
"Oh. We'll just take a small tour of the city. Shop, eat, roam around the streets." He flashed me his most charming smile.
"Cool. I'm all ready."
"Yeah, lets go." He lead the way, I followed, wondering what the day would be like.
7.00 pm:
Call it my ill-fate or whatever, the weather in Singapore grew worse, as a result all the flights from Bangkok to Singapore was either delayed or cancelled. A part of me was happy, a part of me was sad and the left over part was sad, when I received the call informing me about it. I sighed. I still had two days to reach Singapore, since the Conference was delayed. But I did wanted to go back to India as soon as possible. My head was muddled, and I needed Dadi as soon as possible. I miss being with Adi, I needed him too. I needed my old life badly, I was getting used to this one.
Never had I thought that I wonder explore a whole new city, by myself and have fun. Shopping at exotic locations, eating at exotic places, visiting places that I never thought I would, Bangkok had brought out a different side of me altogether. I laughed, I danced, I jumped around, I was happy, I was satisfied. I had a wonderful company, who never missed a single chance to irritate me. Nevertheless, he brought out a different side of me, that I never thought, existed. Sounds cheesy, doesn't it? Yeah, tell me about it. Since an entire day was yet to be spend, I decided to out for a dinner with Armaan Malik. But before there was something else that I needed to do.
"Riddhima?" Dadi mumbled, hopeful, as soon as she picked up the phone. I smiled.
"Dadi." I smiled.
After a heart felt conversation with Dadi, I was informed that she had a running fever, which made me panic slightly. I cursed myself instantly, having left her alone there. Although she tried to convince me that she is fine, I knew she was not. Guilt was not the emotion that over powered me, but it was concern and sadness, to be precise. All sorts of question aroused in my head: did Dadi eat properly? Was she taking care of herself? Was she taking her medicines? Did she go for a her regular evening walk?.. Without realizing, I shed a few tears silently in my room, and was caught red-handed by Armaan.
"Riddhima?" He called out my name, concerned. Immediately, I rubbed away the tears, which continued to roll down my cheeks. I smiled at him amidst my tears, and looked away immediately.
"Whats wrong?" He seated himself on the bed near me.
"Nothing." I mumbled, trying my best to control my tears.
"Doesn't seem so." He said, seriously.
Silence.
"Riddhima?"
"I just want to go back to Mumbai." I told him frankly.
"I miss my family." I told him, looking at him. My eyes were swollen and red, I looked in the mirror and realized and looked away immediately.
"This is the first time you have left your gram alone, haven't you?" I looked at him flabbergasted at that. How did he know?
"It doesn't take a genius to see that. Trust me." He rolled his eyes and answered my unasked question. Tears, soon, broke their barrier and rolled down my cheeks. Without thinking for a moment, I fell into his arms, sobbing heavily. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer. I sobbed and sobbed, till my heart felt lighter. Armaan, the entire time was calm and still, yet careful, as I pulled him closer. When my heightened emotions came under control, I realized what I had done, and pulled away immediately, without looking at him. Silence was the only thing between us for a moment. He didn't say anything and neither did I.
"How do you read my emotions so easily?" I rubbed away the tears, trying hard to smile. To cover the emotion I least wanted to show him: the jumbled wires in my brain.
"It is not at all difficult." He told me, still not looking at me.
"It is funny, you know, you remind me of a very dear friend."
"Really, who?"
"I don't remember, I was quiet young when he left, actually." I told him, trying to remember his name or face, but I couldn't. All I remember his traits and the bits of time we had together. It made me smile.
"He used to read my thoughts as efficiently as you do. In fact, he doing that." I tried a little harder, trying to get some bits of how he looked like, or what his name was. But it did not help. I was way too young, when he left us, when he left me. And I haven't heard ever since.
"He loved reading my thoughts and emotions so much" my smile faded, "that I gave my personal diary as a parting gift." I mumbled, recalling his sweet voice, calling me. "RID-DHEEMA! RID-DHEEMA!" His voice rang my ear drums.
Soon, I realized that Armaan hadn't spoken a word in a while, so I decided to break the awkward silence.
"Oh, I must be bugging you. I'm so sorry." I pulled my thoughts together and hopped up from the bed.
"Dinner. Lets go." I said, walking to the door. I turned around to find Armaan still on the bed, his expression hard and unreadable, still as a rock.
"Armaan, are you alright?" I asked him, slightly concerned.
"Huh? Oh sorry, lets go." He said and led me to the hall way.
As I followed Armaan down the hall way, I realized something. So busy making my dreams come true, I had completely forgotten about the light that has kept me alive till date, my friend. He who was my support, when I needed someone the most, supports me till date. With a faint smile at his remembrance, I walked into the dark night.
Anupamaa
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