Part 155: Dev and Radhika & his dreams
It was past midnight and surrender was still sitting in that chair outside, in that veranda silently looking into the darkness, imagining those silent moments of seeing his son's tears as he saw them in front of his eyes. They didn't talk much but the silence spoke much volumes at that moment.
Suchi: aren't you sleeping?
Surender: no I am fine Suchi, you go take rest
Suchi: no I am also fine, I can sit with you too
Surender: no suchi, you may be tired, go to bed
Suchi: you too right?
Surender with a smile: have you ever seen me tired, all these days you were questioning me asking why I am behaving this way or that way. I felt everyone was blaming me all of a sudden, what did I do wrong Suchi? I only tried to tell him that he cannot jump from one to another without even making any connection. That is it, and I don't know how to bring so much in words Suchi, so I prefered that silence. you know me well. Sometimes I want you to understand my silence too, instead of blaming it on me
Suchi : I never tried to blame it on you? But tried to get it out, as I felt like you really don't feel like coming back to chandenpur. I told you that, it is Dev's plan to stay back in chandenpur that made you go silent and cold. ...
Suchi: and that time it was just you and me, but now we have a family and we need to look at each one, it is easy to lose them, but difficult to gain them back. maybe it is the mom in me overpowered than the wife to question you, becasue i want them near me too...
Suchi: but then why this silence
Surender: sometimes that help me to accept the facts better
Suchi: maybe, but now no more silence at least for the comfort of this situation, for our son, all he wants to see is your smile, your words, your approval
Surrender :um , I know
Their little talk went on in that darkness
***
Dev was resting his head with closed eyes in Radhika's lap and she was strolling her fingers down thru his hair in a linear motion. Finally she broke the silence
Radhika: I am sorry, it was all because of me
Radhika: I know what you wished for, but I was unable to hold back, and
Dev raising his hand up and holding her hand in his: No Radhika, its fine
Radhika: but
Dev felt her heavy throat
Radhika: but you missed it na
Dev: what, didn't you see me playing with her whole morning yesterday, then
Radhika: but still
Dev placing a small peck on her palm: no Radhika, she had great time with them, that's all I wanted and it happened, and then the rest,... tell you frankly Radhika ...many times I thought to call you back. Now only I am realizing how much I am depending on you and without you nearby I feel like my right hand is missing. Otherwise whatever I looked for, you were standing with it, and I just needed to grab and go, not to worry about anything around..
Radhika: mom and papa
Dev: ha, however we try one day they will come to know about it somehow, so early is the best, that's what dadaji also told me, so no worries, they will be fine soon. For me all I need you nearby, please don't leave me alone even if I ask you to.
Radhika just wrapped her arms around his neck and moved her head near to his face and rested her face in his: how can I? so only I came back
Time ticked by
Dev: Radhika
"um"
Dev: can you tell me a story?
Radhika: what!!!!
Dev with a smile: ha, any story that you heard from granny
Radhika making a serious face: what?
Dev: please , I am not feeling sleepy at all?
Radhika: but I am feeling very tired now
Dev: oops, I never thought of that, that medication bhi na, ok , you sleep now, I will just wacth you.
Radhika: Dev
Dev: what? What else I do? Wish Ruhi was awake..
Radhika: ha, everyone wants her to sleep and you want her to be awake!!
Dev: will she be ok with buva?
Radhika: she is fine, you don't worry, or if she needs anything, I am here na
Dev: but you are going to sleep, right?
Radhika: Dev
Dev: what, there is nothing I can do, I am feeling bored, maybe after getting involved with all these in past months and taking rest like this now...
Radhika: tell me what is your real plan, I mean than this planting things
Dev: really Radhika, maybe I am getting clear on it. Each day as I step out from here I am seeing so many possibilities, and you know, then to get there, I want to fly, sometimes I feel why couldn't I just move on, but now I know I need to be patient, everything needs its time to grow, when I saw the plowed land, I wanted to plant all those new ones in quick, and as I watered them, I wanted them to show its growth each day and you know what I am dreaming so much Radhika, this land has so much potential, no one ever tried to explore it. Even babuji also went with all the traditional route, I think there is much possibility here.
Radhika just listened as Dev continued : you know what, one day all these little plants will grow and tie its wings to the support and one fine morning when we walk out, it will show off all that flowers , and then soon the little ones will appear, and as the time pass the ripe bunches will smile at us with its sweetness, and then I will pluck the first one, and give to our Ruhi, what she may do?
Radhika smiled
Dev: why you are smiling?
Radhika: nothing, I was imagining as you plucking and giving to her, and last time Sudev told me not to bring Ruhi there at all!
Dev: did he!!! Why?
Radhika: he said, none of those little plants are going to get settled with its roots there as she tried to pull it out and showed him with raising her hand up with a smile.
Dev: when did she do that? She is very small
Radhika: never underestimate her, she is on her move already
Dev: um, so you are saying if any of that plant escape from her hold and grow big to give those honey bunches, then she may pluck the first one and give me
Radhika: maye, but not the sweet ones, maybe the little ones, I mean the sore ones
Dev: no way, so I need to keep an eye on her
Radhika : probably
Dev: ha, ok now you listen, maybe then we got so much of it, that ...maybe we can start a vinery here, but then what will be the name of it.
Radhika: what?
Dev: you sleep, let me find a nice name ,um, um. And I will wake you up when I find one ok
Radhika: Dev, I think the medication is showing some sideeffect on you, you better try to sleep
Dev: no, I am fine, you sleep, I will think of it
Radhika saw his eyes moving up to the ceiling and she tried to settle herself near his chest, wrapping her arms around his chest, she closed her eyes.
***
Sammy and Lechu left the other day itself...Suchi , and Surender spend next two days back in chandenpur, and
Suchi walking near to Dev: so how are you feeling now
Dev: perfect mom
Suchi: is it so painful
Dev: how come, when you all are here near me, only thing I wished to show you the land, but
Surender: that's ok Dev, we went and saw all your hardwork, goodluck son, I am sure it all will come out well.
Dev; ha dad, and later I may need your help I need to plan on something and need a e business expert's advice
Surender: at any time my son
Dev: thanks dad, what I am thinking is
"nga nga, not now, you can think only after you get better, ok" suchi interfered
Dev: Mom, I know, but did you really like it
Suchi: um, it is lovely and feel like coming back often to see its growth
Dev: then come mom, it will be really fun
Suchi looked at Surender
Surender: sure beta, but for now we need to go
Dev trying to reach the crutches
Radhika broght them near and gave to him, Dev tried to stand
Surender went near Radhika: beta, I didn't mean to hurt you, but I want you to be strong too, look at Suchi if she was like you so emotional, then I won't be able to reach what I am right now. Some times you need to tell what you really need, some times you need to get it out in words. Ok.
Radhika tried to give that smile
Surender: see if we have known this, we won't even let you come there, we all should have celebrated Ruhi's birthday here along with Dev: It is difficult to accept the fact when kids hide things from their parents, why can't they say it straight and openly, it may hurt the parents , but it will surely bring a solution too. Keeping it inside will add an extra step to get it harder, so why to get it worse when we can solve it all with a small slap. ok
Radhika: ji papa
As they were walking out , Surender secretly: he didn't shout at you for bringing us here, right?
Radhika controlling her smile, nodded her head in disagreement
Surender: um, I know he is not that bad, after all he is my son, right.
Radhika again smiled
Surender and Suchi left soon to Delhi.
***
Days and weeks and months passed quick. Dev took his each step slowly, along with the growth of the little plants, so did RUhi , her voice started filling the haweli and then to the field. She made her trips to Delhi, but more than her it is her grandparents made their trips to chandenpur, because now when they get back here they have something to cherish, to work on, or to dream about.