Just when we thought A is going to be the strong, brave woman who can move on in life, yesterday's dialogue by A again raised some doubts. Though I know, that A will eventually move on in life and will be successful, but these kind dialogues from A. again highlights regressive attitude and from a protagonist, I prefer not to hear. While we have been praising about the dialogue writers, he/she seems complacent and messed up this time.
A's parents wants to take her home and A refuses to go because of the strong bond she shares with the Singh family. But while telling the reasons, A's constantly harped about the teachings her mother gave her to be a ideal beendni. WHY man? Why would the angle of being "beendni" would ever come in the whole scenario?
Is A staying her to fulfill her duty as "beendni"? Or is she staying because her relationship with Bhairon, Sumitra and others have transcended social norms and is ONLY based on love and respect? From her dialogues about being good beendni etc, it seemed to me that A is only staying in the Singh family because she, being "beendni" of the house cannot severe her ties and she is ready to fulfill her duties to the family, even though her husband has left her. She did say that she will leave the house as "beti" but it was not properly highlighted.
IMO, yesterday, A should have emphasized how Singh family has supported her in her life; how they have banished their son from their life for her; she should have made the focus on the fact that - relationships are not only dictated by blood relations and social norms, but there can be what we call dil ka rishta which becomes more strong and important than any other relation. Instead what did A say? She told that once a woman is married, her ties with her sasra becomes so strong that parents take a backseat!!!!!
A's decision and her reasoning raised some questions -
a) Though her decision of staying can be understood, but isn't she harsh on her parents? For every self respecting parents, it's a big blow if the daughter prefers her sasra over her parents' house even after being abandoned by husband. At least, she could have gone with her parents for time being and going away does not mean severing ties with sasra, She could have come back or be in constant touch with them.
b) Though A is staying in singh family as 'beti" but can we really ignore the society? In front of the society, she will be considered as the "beendni" and everyone will think that A is there because she is the actual beendni of the house. Does a self respecting woman would really want that?
A woman becomes a beendni when a man marries her - but when the husband is leaving her for another woman, why would a self respecting woman would like to cling to the titles ( i found no other word) that she got through that marriage, (read sham)? I know I am talking like an independent woman and a village girl like A cannot be expected to think so independently, but this is a serial and it is important that the protagonist be progressive and independent to send out the correct message.
c) A's decision has nothing to do with winning back J. But anyone who doesn't know her or loathes her ( i am talking abt G) will surely think that she is not ready to give up the status of "beendni" of the house, specially after the hearing the justifications given by A yesterday.
Though decision of A has been harsh on Bhago and Khajan, but IMO they deserved that indirect insult and that too from their own daughter.
Everyone of us is screaming about J and G' selfishness and insensitivity, but did we ever pause to think about the selfishness of the other family members?
I really hoped that in yesterday's episode someone showed Bhago and Khajan and DS a mirror of their own selfishness.
Bhago and Khajan are accusing J for destroying their daughter's life, but did they ever think of their daughter's well being? They always thought of their own status in the society even at the cost of their daughter's life. They married her off early. When DS refused to take A back after her escapade, it was Bhago who blamed A for ruining their life and in turn we saw a 11 year old child is pleading before DS to accept her as beendni. It's understandable that there was huge social pressure on them, but did they even try to fight for their daughter? NO. At least, they could have delayed A's marriage as long as possible unless situation go out of hands, but they did not do that.
Only time, they showed concern for A was when Khajan wanted to take A back with them after the Mahapanchayat drama.
The less I said about selfishness and insensitivity of DS, the better. Even now, I believe, DS would not have wanted A-J back so desperately if she had known that her laadla will get good service from a submissive, polite Gauri who can tolerate any of his tantrum. Bhairon and Sumitra understood A's plight; they fought for A; but even then, when they have to choose between DS health/family and A, they did think about family before A in some cases. When A decided to stop her studies, Sumitra supported her saying that it's good for everyone and asked Bhairon not to pursue the matter anymore.
What J is doing today is what other have already done to A. Everyone thought about social status, family's well being etc. etc before thinking about A and her wishes.
It's weird that in a serial which is against child marriage, none of the characters like Bhago, Khajan, DS, Bhairon, Sumitra are getting thrashed or blamed by anyone in the serial for the child marriage they organized. Their mistake is not highlighted at all. The way CVs have built up this story, the whole focus is on J's infidelity and G's insensitivity. I really wish someone like Teacher ji or anyone else, gives a good lecture to Bhago Khajan and Singh family for the blunder they made.