what is ur opinion?

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Gurpreet Dhillon

@GurpreetD

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: netri

What abt others ? Rubberman ji ...😆

Others Ka Bara Main I wont be careful😆...I know U guys pull my legs and i pulls urs so we know about each other ...Naya bando Ke bara Mein I cant say 😃

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MadameX

@MadameX

Sparkler

Posted: 14 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: Rubaldhillon

I dont think we were rude Di😕 ...we were just kidding around 😃

Sorry postmaker if u felt bad...Hope U dont mind wat both Ekta and Me said...We will be careful in future wid U😃

I might forget to...so can I trust you to watch my back for me? 😆

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mjtruelegend

@mjtruelegend

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: MadameX

THANKYOU!!! Fragile people can only be pushed to a certain extent before they "call for help". They don't need to be constantly told what they did was wrong. It only exacerbates the situation. Their loved ones need to understand that they only need lots of love and care to rebuild themselves again. It's hard but true. One has to be very careful how they treat them, especially the ones he loves. There's nothing worse than hearing words like "I don't feel love for you any more". It crushes them totally. That's why he hit rock bottom and tried to commit suicide. I've seen people in this state and it's horrible.

His mistake, only he can rectify but not with rudeness and bitterness.

You have a lot of dhum in your argument...but your last statement is something I disagree with. Yes, Panna is bitter and rude...but she had also apologized for her rudeness immediately thereafter, plus she said "All the best" to provide the general encouragement to Rounak that anyone can give to anyone, even strangers. Panna is not at all discouraging him...but she is treating him distantly because of the hurt he put her through.

Also, I find it hard to believe that Raunak would want to commit suicide simply because of Panna's words...his mother supported him, lauded over him...and he wasn't so madly, insanely in love with Panna that every word of hers meant so much to him. No, it was his own ego/perfectionism that was crushing him. He just could not tolerate losing his job and then not having another one that was exactly like it or even better. Then he was feeling very helpless by this same ego and perfectionism. This combination of zero tolerance and helplessness led him to commit suicide.

Of course, I'm also saying this from very limited knowledge of psychology on the subject of suicide...so if I'm wrong, please forgive me and I would love it if you would enlighten me if you know more about it. 😊

You are right, I saw that part just now that she did apologise. I am glad about that. It's good to see her calming down.

I'm not an expert but I'll try to explain from professional experience
(please don't think I'm taking Raunak's side, I'm just trying to explain)

Raunak was a very egoistic person full of materialistic dreams, very ambitious, which is all good if you have what it takes to achieve it all. Unfortunately his arrogance always got in the way.

When he lost his job, it was terrible as for him, his job was his identity. He was so proud to be a high earner who can do what ever he wanted, whenever he wanted, but not anymore. It's very hard to get down to reality. It's very hard to live poor when are so used to having all the nice things. He became depressed and disdained at his failure to find another good job. Of course it was his ego that prevented him getting "A" job because for him it would be an insult to his talent and stature to do smaller/less important job (in his views - of course its wrong to think that!). From spending however much he wanted, then having to count penny's is a drastic change. For a materialistic person, they can not bear the thought having to "change". They find it beneath themselves. So being jobless, not getting another good job, not being able to buy what he wanted and feeling REJECTED, is what had crushed him totally already. What does he do now? Yes his mother was being supportive but it's Panna who mattered the most. All the negativity was building up slowly slowly. Indeed he did not help himself either because of his belligerent nature.

Before one even thinks about committing suicide, it has to be the last resort. He is the type of person who cannot tolerate failure. He couldn't see beyond his cocoon which was being held in fragility by Panna until she said what said. For a highly sensitive person to hear those words after FAILURE and REJECTION, is like a time bomb waiting to explode. He couldn't bear being a loser. He already had lost dignity and status, money, position, freedom and now his wife tells him that she doesn't feel love for him. Can you imagine what goes through them? It kills them completely. So it is such helpless situation that people try to commit suicide. Often they say that it is a "cry for help" and it's true. People in such situation need a lot of HELP, a lot of empathy and compassion, if you love them that is.

Yes it's very hard to the do the right thing when the attitude is wrong. That's something that person has to rectify themselves once they are better but what is important is that person lives, survives and then you can do what ever you want to them but only if they survive their "cry for help". Not all are so lucky.

Edited by mjtruelegend - 14 years ago

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MadameX

@MadameX

Sparkler

Posted: 14 years ago

#44

Nicely written, MJ. You're compelling me to side with this argument too. 😉 But I appreciate that you explained this to me...because I was able to see Panna's point of view really well but now I can get a good idea of Raunak's point of view too. And I think you're right...both contributed to their separation...it's just that maybe I'm rather a bit of an insensitive person that I continue to find Raunak more at fault here and deserving of Panna's distant attitude. But I full on agree with you that it is very difficult to change to something that is extremely foreign to you and out of your comfort zone...and then combined to this is Raunak's materialistic personality and ego that led to his ultimate downfall (suicide atempt). Regarding this argument, Panna then should try to be even more encouraging to Raunak and a bit more warmer...but the thing is, I think she has already set her mind to not getting hurt by Raunak again because she is still distrustful that he may still be there with her...so she prefers to be distant to cope with her emotions.

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mjtruelegend

@mjtruelegend

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: MadameX
Nicely written, MJ. You're compelling me to side with this argument too. 😉 But I appreciate that you explained this to me...because I was able to see Panna's point of view really well but now I can get a good idea of Raunak's point of view too. And I think you're right...both contributed to their separation...it's just that maybe I'm rather a bit of an insensitive person that I continue to find Raunak more at fault here and deserving of Panna's distant attitude. But I full on agree with you that it is very difficult to change to something that is extremely foreign to you and out of your comfort zone...and then combined to this is Raunak's materialistic personality and ego that led to his ultimate downfall (suicide atempt). Regarding this argument, Panna then should try to be even more encouraging to Raunak and a bit more warmer...but the thing is, I think she has already set her mind to not getting hurt by Raunak again because she is still distrustful that he may still be there with her...so she prefers to be distant to cope with her emotions.

1st of all THANKYOU for reading my bak bak. I appreciate it. You are right they are both are just as much responsible for whatever happened. Panna didn't understand Raunak and he didn't understand her. His weakness and his insecurities weighed too heavy on his mind because people like him cannot bear failure or defeat. Anyways we have seen progress in him recently and I am happy that he's thinking positive and and is willing to make his life better. I wish them both all the best.

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MadameX

@MadameX

Sparkler

Posted: 14 years ago

#46

Yes, I am glad too that Raunak is getting back on track and thankfully, not in any danger of falling into a relapse like you had mentioned before. It means he actually did learn and came out as a stronger and better person.

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