Now India is not a place for faint hearted. Lady Gaga though appearing tough on the outside is supposedly very humble and soft from the inside. So, here's some advice for the "Fame Monster", on how to thrive in India and Bollywood.
In Bollywood, no one understands western music better than Anu Malik. Anu Malik wrote, produced, acted and sang the most famous english song in India, named, "It's raining". The song was so successful, every Indian knows the song word by word, even people who don't know english, can also sing the whole song. Lady Gaga can learn a bit or two from Anu Malik on how to write and sing classic english songs for the Indian audience.
The other huge personality that stands out in the Indian music industry is none other than Himesh Reshammiya. Himesh has the rare talent, who can release the same song in different albums, claiming and convincing others that the ongs are different. Beside Himesh, I can only think of Zoolander, who had the talent to release same stuff with different names. Lady Gaga, with Himesh by your side, if you come up with one good song (Anu will guide you with that), Himesh will guarentee to have 20 different songs and making them all big hits. Just ask him to wear his lucky cap all the time, otherwise Donald Trump may come to claim his toupee and interrupting your success.
Lady Gaga, in Bollywood/India, no song will be hit without an excellent dance routine. Look, even "Jai Ho" became popular because of the dance sequence. I know, your music vidoes are all that, but it won't cut in India. For Indian public, you need to do a Sunny Deol number. Sunny Deol can teach you how to impress desi crowd with his perfect dance skills. If you aren't happy with his teaching style, you can pick anyone from Deol family. The good dancing gene runs in the family.
Ok, so Lady Gaga, you think that you are pretty controversial and have a global brand and don't need much to stay in limelight. Big mistake. For India, it doesn't mean much. Your controversies are lame by the high Indian standard. To create a controversy and then quickly create bigger controversy, so that you are always in news, get in touch with Indian politicians. They have perfected the art of creating bigger and better controversy in an instant, be it Adrash scam, 2G scam, or CWG scam. Now that will keep you in news and result in higher record sales !
CID
24