Hey Guys:
I am back with my updates...I have an important question to ask you guys: Do you guys not like my fan fics? I have noticed that I am not getting much response from any of my fan fics..if you guys don't want to read my fan fics anymore..let me know I will stop all my fan fics at once...it is quiet disheartening to see that with each update the level of response is decreasing...
I know that I don't respond back to any of your comments its just that I am very busy and with whatever time I get I update...if you all noticed I am not around IF at all or read any of your fan fics..I want to but I don't get around to it...so I want to apologizes to those who write fan fics and also read my fan fics but don't see me doing the same for you...I want to but don't have time..I read few fan fics whenever I have time and try to comment when I can...but like i said if you guys don't like my fan fics at all than let me know I will stop updating right away...I don't want to be wasting your time and my time as well...😳 (and I don't mean this in a "bad" way even if it sounds like that..😳)
Chapter 42
Warning: This part is sad again!
(Lets play a game in the middle...in red I will write what you have to do :D)
I look at the person in front of me...last few days have been so hectic for me...guilt takes over my body as I remember slapping Maan...I look at him as he places his hand on top of mine to assure me everything will be alright...I sadly smile at him...unable to look into his eyes after what I did...now here I am sitting with Maan by my side and my so called father in front of me...I feel so awkward sitting here in front of the very person that I have hated all my life...I wait for him to continue...he has been sitting with his head down for the past half hour unable to look at me or unable to speak...if only I hadn't promised Maan to meet him..I would've let this place the moment I saw him...I had to make it up to Maan some how for the pain I caused him...I hold my breath as I stop my tears from coming down the face...
NO I can't cry..not in front of him of all people...I know I am not crying because of my so called father..I know...tears had stopped pouring for him long time back...I am crying for MY MAAN! He doesn't deserve me...I sure as hell don't deserve him...he is so pure hearted..he has a heart of gold, he is caring and very loving...what am I? Who am I? is the most important question...Sometimes I want to get up and leave..so that Maan can get a better person then me..but I can't make the same move that my "father" did...I won't be able to live with myself knowing I had hurt Maan intentionally...I squeeze his hand at that thought..I look at Maan as he looks at me..with a reassuring smile..I let out a relief sigh...I am not scared of anything anymore..not even from what he has to tell me...as long as I have Maan on my side I have nothing to be scared of..I know that...
Gurvinder: umm I don't know from where to start...
Geet: Why don't you start where you left off
Gurvinder (looks at Geet): I know I have to right to ask you to forgive me and I know whatever I say right now will not justify for what I did...so (pulls up a box and slides it toward Geet)...umm this is my diary and some letters that I have kept all these years...but
Geet: This is suppose to justify your reasoning?
Gurvinder: No..but I hope it will let you and your mom know that I did not forget you guys..and it also explains why I left...and some where down the line I hope you will be able to forgive me...
I watched him get up and leave without another word...I look at the box laid on the table in front of me..I am scared to open up the box and read its content...I am afraid that after reading what he wrote in the letters my hatred for him will decrease...my mind and body wants to hate him but my heart desires something else...
Maan: Geet what are you thinking?
Geet (comes out of her thoughts): hmm ohh umm nothing
Maan (hugs Geet): Listen Geet I know you might have so many questions in your head right now but I know all your unanswered questions will be answered from these letters
Geet: hmmm can we go somewhere...I can't sit here any longer
Maan (kisses her cheek): Sure...let's go...
Geet (buries her face into his hands and cries...Maan looks at her confused and scared): I am sorry
Maan: Geet why are you saying sorry...look at me...(she looks at Maan with teary eyes)
Geet: I am sorry for the mean things I said to you before...(hugs Maan)
Maan (tightens his grip on her): Sshhh Geet you don't have to be sorry...it happens...and anyway I learned one thing out of this whole experience
Geet (looks at him with questioning eyes): What?
Maan: I learned not to make you mad EVER again! because that hand of yours is heavy (laughs...Geet playfully punches him on the chest and hugs him while laughing)
Geet: I love you
Maan: Me too!
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My hands tremble as I reach for the box in front of me...Maan had left me alone in the outhouse giving me my privacy but now I don't think I can open this box without him being here with me...Do I really want to know what he wrote? Will I be able to forgive him? Do I want to? ugh if I hadn't promised Maan I would've thrown this box in the garbage long time back... ok Geet..take a deep breath...your feelings for him won't change...get it over with...(she takes a deep breath and opens the box...the first thing she saw was a pic of her mom and him when they were getting married...she controlled her tears...to save all the energy to read the letters...she hesitantly picks up the diary that was in the box..)
(At the end of the diary entries...figure out how old Geet would be at that time...and if I get more than 5 responses right...I will update the next part right away as a reward 😆)
Today I find out that we are going to have a girl!! I am so excited that I am going to be a papa...I have already decided on a name that we both love...we are going to call her Geet...doesn't that sound musical...Rano loves music and dancing...she is so talented and I am sure my daughter Geet will have the same genes as her mother...I hope Babaji brings more and more happiness in our life and nothing goes wrong...(Geet has tears in her eyes...she flips through the next page of the diary)
Dear Diary,
I don't know where to even begin...I am about to make the biggest decision of my life right now even though I don't want to...I have no choice...I just hope that Rano will forgive me and move on with her life along with Geet..I have no other option...I don't want her to suffer the way I am...I have written a letter explaining Rano my decision but don't have the heart to know how she is going to feel...that is why I have decided that it would be better if she hates me rather than her seeing me suffer everyday putting Geet's life in danger...(A letter falls out from the next page...she opens the letter)
Dear Rano,
You have no idea how much I love you and our soon to be born Geet...and also you have no idea how hard it is for me to write this letter...I have stayed up all night trying to come up with the right words and then I realize there are no right words for what I have to tell you...there is something that I have hidden from you for the past couple of months...You must be wondering why I don't talk to you face to face...well the truth is I don't think I would've been able to see your tears or pain...so hence why I decided to write it in letter...I don't know where to begin so I am going to tell you straight...I have cancer...doctors told me that it might get worse and worse later on and there might be no hope for me...I don't want to see you in pain EVER!! so I decided to leave you...I just hope that you are able to forgive me...I might have no right to say this anymore after making this huge decision but I hope you are able to move on with your life...the only reason I decided to do this so that YOU don't have to suffer because of me...all I want is your and Geet's happiness...
Gurvinder
She looked up and saw Maan entering the outhouse..she gives him a sad smile...Maan comes and sits next to Geet...he makes her sit on his lap and asks her to continue reading the diary...he hugs her from the back...as she reads the diary out loud...
Dear Diary,
One year has passed and one thing has changed my whole life...I still have cancer and as I write I will go for another operation pretty soon...I know there is no hope for me...nor I want to live...everything is ruined...it is all over..I have lost the two most important people in my life...Geet must be at least 10 months old now...I wonder how she looks like...if she is walking by now...maybe she is too young for walking now...
Geet skims through the rest of the pages...she drops the diary down as her hands were shaking...Maan kisses her shoulder and holds the diary in his hands...he reads he diary for Geet as she puts her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes...listening to Maan...
Dear Diary,
One year later!
I have tried looking for them everywhere...I can't find them...the house that we used to live in is no longer ours...she moved...i don't know where..i don't know where to even start...Babaji has been so unfair to me...when I had everything that I ever wanted Babaji had to take it away from me...I was forced to leave my family and when I didn't want to live anymore he decided to cure my disease...my heart pains to know that both are out there somewhere alone...did I make the right decision?
Dear Diary,
I am exhausted but I can't give up..I need to find them...I need to see my Geet and Rano...I always wonder about Geet...how she looks like...what does she sound like when she talks or even her first walk...where are they...I don't even have enough money to hire a detective...all of my money is gone from the surgeries...I just hope that they are still in New York...
Dear Diary,
It has been three years...I have taken a job as a taxi driver hoping I would spot them somewhere down the road...my eyes are always searching for them all day and night...all I know is that I can't give up...the fact that maybe they have moved out of NY haunts me...I still don't have enough money to hire someone to help me...I know I am being punished for leaving my pregnant wife behind...Babaji knows how hard the decision was for me...I am at a crossroad where no matter what decision I make it leads me farther and farther away from my wife and my kid.
"Geet do you want to take a break?" "No I want you to keep going..." she turns around and hugs him..putting her face on his chest as Maan reads the pages...
Dear Diary,
Two years later!
I have moved out of New York and is going from one state after another looking for both of them...I wish I could go back in time to my wife..and relive all the moments with my wife and with my kid...see her walk, talk, eat and just watch her grow up...I always wonder if Rano moved on...I may sound selfish but i don't want her to move on...I know one day I will meet them if Babaji willing..I will definitely meet them...I can't wait for that moment...we had always talked about growing old together...once our child gets married we were going to go back to Hoshiarpur and live our last moments there even if one of us survives till then...we have our ancestral home there...
Dear Diary,
I have lost faith in everything...I am all alone in this world with no one to look after...I came to Hoshiarpur four years ago hoping to find Rano but came to nothing but empty house...I am living here now...the emptiness of this house reminds me of my life...I have no money to even go back to the states..whatever money I had saved up I used it to come here...I have decided to stay here and wait for Rano...I know she will come...we had both promised on each other..and if I know my Rano she will definitely come...and when she does I will get down on my knees and beg for her forgiveness...
Dear Diary,
Three Years Later!
I found a new ray of light...maybe this will be the way for me to pay for my sins...I am a school teacher now...in every little girl I see my Geet...I wonder what Geet does now...what school she goes to...one year ago I adopted two kids a boy and a girl...I found both of them on the streets being beaten to death for stealing food...when I looked at the girl it reminded me of Geet...she had big eyes like Rano...the boy name is Tejhwinder but I call him Teji...he is 16 years old...he is a very hot headed boy but I know the reason behind his act..he lost his parents at a very young age and was forced to leave his house with his four year old sister...but I know no matter how he is..he is very respectable and very possessive about his sister..he won't let anything bad happen to her...the girl is Raji she is 4 years old...she is very cute and very sharati...always playing one prank after another on either me or her brother...they both are my new light..I will give them everything that I couldn't give my Geet...I will make them big one day...My eyes still search for Rano...I look at the door everyday hoping she will walk in here one day...
(So old do you think Geet was?😉)
Geet jumps after Maan puts a hand on her shoulder...she hugs him while crying... "it is not fair...I want to hate him but I can't...I feel like I am betraying my mom...it is not fair Maan..." Maan rubs Geet's back... "Sshhh Geet..everything happens for a reason Geet...I just wanted you to find the truth...now it is up to you to either forgive him or hate him..." Maan picks Geet up and brings her to the room...he makes her lie down on the bed while she is still crying...he gives her a glass of water...he pulls the blanket on her... "Geet why don't you take some rest..you have been through a lot..." He was about to walk away when Geet holds his arm "Don't leave me...please...stay with me..." Maan nodes and lies down next to her bringing Geet into his embrace...
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Edited by mrs.msk - 14 years ago
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
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