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Have you ever laid in bed alone late at night staring at the ceiling thinking what life has become and how it would have been different have you made a different choice? I do that a lot especially now that I developed insomnia from nowhere. I keep asking myself what if hadn't come here, hadn't met him how different life would have been…I still would be Piya but not what I'm becoming now. Who am I you ask? I'm not even sure myself.
Yes, I'm Piya Jaiswal. A girl. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A lover. This is what defines me. But apart from all these even before I became Piya I was a human. A living breathing human being. But now…Who Am I?
I'm no longer a human nor am I a monster. I'm neither living nor dead. I stand on the verge of becoming something he always feared. I know how all this started but now all that seems like a distant memory like it happened with someone else not me. Perhaps it did happen with another girl. Another Piya because that one was alive, happy, dreaming and now…she seems to be disappearing. Every day I see less and less of that Piya and more and more of someone else. Someone who is only controlled by a strange thirst that never seems to end.
Not only is my body changing but also it feels as a part of me has died. I can't explain it but it's like a strange numbness seems to be taking over my senses paralyzing me emotionally. I can't seem to enjoy or laugh like I used to. The only time I feel like myself is when I'm with him. Yes Abhay is always there for me just like he promised but at times it's just not enough. I don't blame him for what happened. I knew from the start what awaited me at the other end but I did not pay any heed to his warning for I was too busy living my dream. But now that the nightmare has become a reality I realize the fear I always saw in his eyes. Yes it does hurt. Alot.
You know what the strangest part is? No, not that I'm growing an extra pair of teeth but the fact that none of the two worlds accepts me. Yes, Abhay had very clearly told me that world of darkness won't accept me. That all this wasn't supposed to happen. He says it's for my own good; I don't belong to the world of damned. The master had spoken; the changing process had to be stopped. And until then I can hang with them but not 'be with them'. And guess what I can't even return to my old world, because apparently I'm a threat to their safety. So here I stand in the middle of two worlds with neither of them wanting me. Nothing new for me though.
Abhay had informed me that they finally have found some cure for me and soon I shall be back to myself, which isn't that easy. But still he believes so…so I believe him. He says it will be very difficult to go through the so called ritual. It can prove to be fatal. But I have given my approval and told him that even if it is dangerous I'm ready to go through it because one way or the other at least this will stop. The sleepless nights, the constant fear, the unquenchable thirst that seems to choke me at times, the numbness that keeps growing, the hollowness filling my life…I really want it to stop now. It's becoming unbearable now so I have decided to go through with it.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by a familiar voice calling my name over and over again.
Abhay, 'Piya, they are ready…are you?'
He looked straight into my eyes searching for an answer, a clue something. The fear clear in his eyes perhaps of losing me. But he didn't understand the damage had already been done. It was too late to back out now.
I gave him a weak smile and replied in a soft but firm voice, 'Yes I'm ready. It's for the best Abhay.'
He looked at me with knowing and gave a light nod. He held my hand and I led the way.
It was time. Finally it was here…the end.
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Ok so wrote this solely from Piyas view. I may be contradicting myself here as I also say that AP are meant to be and even if Piya becomes a vampy their love for each other will be enough. But this one is from a person's view that what if your life is suddenly changed so drastically that you start to lose the very reason of your existence. Walking on the path of broken dreams, would the love will be then enough; especially when you know that the one you love may abandon you? I know it is in complete contrast to what will happen in the show but then again it's MY version of the story, a bit too pessimistic one I know.
Ok enough of my blabbering. Comments and LIKES please! 😃
Ishaani
