DOTW: Raising Children

We as a team have analyzed Dutta, Nakusha, Baaji the siblings and their relationships. But one relationship has always intrigued me and that of a mother. Being a mother myself, I have always wondered, that the most difficult challenge in one's life is to raise a child, because you are responsible for the child's outcome and also to give them a fulfilling life.
So, this week's discussion, is Aai Saheb.

1. Has she been a good mother to her children?
2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing?
3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts?
4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently?

Hayye and I thought you were talking about Dutta's football team...

Originally posted by: droopy_asleep

We as a team have analyzed Dutta, Nakusha, Baaji the siblings and their relationships. But one relationship has always intrigued me and that of a mother. Being a mother myself, I have always wondered, that the most difficult challenge in one's life is to raise a child, because you are responsible for the child's outcome and also to give them a fulfilling life.
So, this week's discussion, is Aai Saheb.

1. Has she been a good mother to her children?
2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing?
3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts?
4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently?

Well very good post. I believe that Aayi sahib has always failed as Dutta, kala, roops and Leela's mother. May be she is good mother to others (madhu, baji).

W.r.to Kala,

1. Aayi sahib was knowing that kala has witnessed her father's death, Dutta is her father's killer's Son.

2. Even though Dutta is cusine brother, Aayi sahib never thought that she will behave differently with Dutta.

3. Gave all the burdens to kala, Kala became mother figure to Leela and Roops. Literally Aayi sahib ignored kala, her dreams, her anger, her feeling etc.

4. Geeting kala and her family to PN was very wrong decision which Aayi sahib took.

5. Aayi ahib never suspected kala, even though many incidents proved that kala is doing it (In DP's track kala accepts that she is responsible for bomb blast)

6. Aayi sahib was knowing that some one from home is involved in Supriya's fiasco still she will not investigate.

W.r.to Leela.

1. Leela grown as Greedy, may be because she did not get luxurious life what she wanted in childhood

2. Keeping Leela and her family in PN was wrong decision

3. Involving Leela's husband in business was wrong decision

4. Aayi sahib should have spent more time with Leela

W.r.to ROOPS.

1. I think Kala and Dutta took care of ROOPS than Aayi sahib. Kala became mother to ROOPS and Dutta was father figure to her.

2. ROOPS was grown as pampered kid and she was stupid. Not seen hard phase of life. Everything was readily available for her.

3. Aayi sahib atleast took care of her last kid in a proper manner. I have not seen any scenes between AS and ROOPS.

4. Aayi sahib accepts other's kids easily. She never thinks how her own daughters feel when see accepts others easily (ex: Aayi saheb accepting Madhu, ROOPS gets jealous)

1. He became head of the family at early age, he never enjoyed his childhood, kept on working
2. When he took wrong path Aayi sahib should have stopped him
3. Dutta is pampered by Aayi sahib irrespective of his mistakes

Overall BABI is better mother compare to Aayi sahib, Dutta and kala grown as agressive, Leela as greedy and ROOPS as stupid and spoilt kid. As a mother she failed

Originally posted by: droopy_asleep

1. Has she been a good mother to her children?

I think AS is a good person at heart, very selfish and faint-hearted, yes...but for the most part, she has always intended good from her end...but there's a difference in being a good person or 'not a bad person' and being a good MOTHER...like you said, I think this is the most difficult challenge in life...to be able to inculcate the RIGHT qualities in a child, to make him or her a fulfilled human being, to stimulate the mind and conscience at the same time...and AS has failed in that sense...she is a BRAVE woman to take on her orphaned nephew after the circumstances in which her husband died, to do so when their financial and emotional stability was very shaky...she intended well, but she did not have the chops to execute the whole thing successfully...she neglected Kala to a huge extent to make her what she is today...AS might not think so, but Kala did and that means there is some truth to the whole situation. And definitely there is truth to it, because even I as a viewer can see her overwhelming bias for Dutta...and it's not hard to see why her daughters, and especially Kala might have turned into a monster because of it, especially being ELDER and then a daughter at that. So firstly, AS was not able to do JUSTICE between her children...that is a fault, most probably unintentional and a very human one at that.

Secondly, she let Dutta get into a world of crime. Now many may say that this choice reflects on Dutta's own character and not AS, BUT...AS, being his mother, had SOME control over him. She did not have physical power to stop him from picking up a gun, yes...but she did have the power to guide him to the right thing and show him the positives in life after Seema. Dutta is a difficult child, but with enough tact and wisdom, I think one can get through to even the toughest of children...she needed to sit with her son and show him that he was SELF-DESTRUCTING. If he didn't listen, she needed to start the darao-dhamkao shtick 😆 The emotional blackmailing...anything...anything to stop your kid from becoming a killer. We didn't see this in LTL because of time constrains and vagueness anyways associated with Dutta's ascension to the heights of his kingdom, but it seems AS accepted it. She shouldn't have. Here, she failed at showing the RIGHT PATH to her children.

So those two things...being just, and having the ability to instill and stand for the right thing at the right time...in my opinion, AS has lacked them, and thus today she is witnessing the stale air of the storeroom 😆 So bottom line: No, she was not a good mother to her children because she failed to instill the most important things in herself and in them with regards to the relationship they share.

2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing?

To some extent (very much actually...), it explains the CAUSE of Kala's problems and her psyche...but AS did not tell Kala as a child to put snake poison in her purse in order to inject people at choice or to keep salts and spices at hand to torture others...she did not tell Kala to hate her brother or to kill him...rather only the contrary, so everything that came out of Kala came out of herself...those emotions, those plans, those executions...Kala's own being and conscience led her to it. AS did injustice, but she did not outright bring her kids up 'poorly' or planned for them to be the spawn of the devil 😆 Kala machinations reflect only on her own individual decay, mentally and spiritually, which she led herself to. Despite ANY kind of upbringing by AS, she could have veered her life into a POSITIVE direction, but she didn't...she chose to stay back and create a hell for all of them. That is only to lay at her feet.

3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts?

Definitely. For a religious person, someone who is supposed to have a HEIGHTENED sense of consciousness and sensitivity, it's amazing that AS 'lives' with her son's sins and accepts them without trying to push for a different life for him. Maybe she thinks that if she prays enough, she will absolve for his sins too People delude themselves with all kinds of things according to what pacifies their desires. We saw this kind of a thing in Subbu too...she prayed for a killer to 'undo' his wrongdoings...

It brings up that question about Nakku too...although their (DN's) relationship and her efforts are more in the 'reformatory' space...so there can be some excuse still, that she has only tried to calm Dutta down and make him more human again through her faith...but the question stands, how do these people justify this to their God? Do they believe in their hearts that Dutta is a fighter for the truth, for the well-being of people because he is intrinsically GOOD in his being...maybe they think the end justifies the means...it depends at the end of the day I guess on what and how much you can live with...and then again, a person can get used to anything...so maybe for them, it has become a lifestyle which they accept and think too settled to get out of.

4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently?

If AS ever started over...firstly, she should have given equal attention to all her children, no matter whether the girls or Dutta. Then, she should have tried to educate them and encouraged them towards academics, even if by working jobs herself. Lastly, when Dutta got his heart broken by Seema (boo hoo 😆) she should have given him one tight slap and told him to man up and take care of his family with all that money that he earned to buy the kholi 😆 AND, she should have paid more attention to Roops, who is very fickle in opinion but could have been guided to a strong personality...plus, keeping an eye on her children (ET's drinking escapades) wouldn't be bad either...less time with the mala in front of the idol, and more time carrying out raids on her children's rooms 😆

Nice topic, Harshita! LOL..... AS the great pendulum......Fatty has pretty much written all that there can be but I'll type out a few of my thoughts on the subject too

Originally posted by: droopy_asleep

1. Has she been a good mother to her children? I think her intentions are good on a basic level....but she hasn't always managed to BE a good mother.....many times she's shown selfish tendencies in what she tries to justify as being "protective" towards her children especially Dutta but as a HUMAN BEING she fails then.....as is obvious given how quickly she changes judgement about Nakku even after having SEEN what all Nakku did for Dutta. She cares a lot for Dutta but she doesn't seem to have a full understanding many times of what would REALLY be good for him.....BEYOND her pooja paath/pandit explanations😆....I guess that's part of her superstitious streak.


2. Do Kala's machinations reflect on poor upbringing? No, not really.....Kala seems to have been BORN with a twisted mind that was just LOOKING for scenarios to justify its psychoticness😆......AS doesn't really seem to have neglected her kids much and seems to have tried to be there for all of them equally....to the extent she is capable of....lol...but KALA wanted more....she wanted the most importance it seems and when she didn't get that, her selfish, psychotic tendencies just got worse.....it's like her basic character flaws just intensified and brought her to where she is today.....I wouldn't really blame AS much for that.....Kala likes to twist things in an extreme manner to justify herself.


3. Dutta's taking to the life of crime has never met any objections from her? Is that almost a double standard of sorts? LOL this is a case of AS having conveniently selective memory....aam khao, guthliyon ke daam mat puchho types😆......AS doesn't seem to have been much of an enforcer towards her kids since their childhood.....and Dutta was the only male in the family so when tragedy struck them, AS couldn't be strong enough to take care of all of them and not even strong enough to stop Dutta from moving towards the path of crime......I can picture her offering token objection at best and then just letting things be as their life got better and better with more luxuries and comforts😆.....she shows random guilt once in a blue moon but again that's token at best....the writers never gave her much depth on this front....maybe for the convenience of storyline.....Nakku was the one who was truly supposed to understand that pain and trauma for Dutta. AS was too busy "aai jagdambe-ing" all over the place😆 Too much pooja paath but not enough focus on the ACTUAL problems of your kids😆


4. If Aai Saheb ever had to start over, rewind to a time machine, what do you think she should have done differently? I think the only thing AS would have done differently was tried to catch Kala early before she went over the deep end😆.....maybe been a more alert mother.....it seems to really disturb her that THIS is her daughter😆