Your View on remarriage - Page 3

Originally posted by: laxmi_s

@charu

Just now read your other 2 views on the same.... i was posting mine at that time hence cud not read it earlier.....😆

Loved your take on loneliness moves on to depression..... very very true.... which the young minds don't know defn. ..... There is been a hell a lot of difference in my FIL's life pre and post my MIL's demise.... Though basically he is a reserved person by nature... earlier he used to oppose our views where he felt and stood for his wife....😆... no matter whether she was right or wrong..... but that support or the backing thing was always given by him.......though they had the dada-dadi 's tom and jerry fights of SGP...... awww... we cud feel the amit-hema jodi in them... the perfect pair.... 😳....now he obviously misses her thru her fights, her instigations.... her absence is felt by him..... we tried our best to divert his mind by taking him for bowling sessions, to the museum as he loves to observe the historical things.... we tried to be with him the way he prefers...but we know deep within.... those secs can give him happiness for a brief time but cannot fill his vaccuum ......

Reg. the woman's emotional handling capability charu....i feel we woman r stronger emotionally and we try our best to move on.... where as the men lean on to their wives for this emotional strength.... and hence they find it difficult to move on.....😊

@Shwets

Forget KK as Suhana and Sanju's dad getting married Shwets.... forget everything... think about only KK.... him sitting in his living room in the night.... no one around.... can u see how awful it wud look .... to see him lost.... that is where the depression creeps in dear.... so i stick to this... if a person as good as Vidisha enters his life.... a companionship wud be ideal for him....

Originally posted by: Shwets1502

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laxmi di...i agree....what iam trying to say is...this need for companionship has to be understood by KK...no one else can do anything...they cannot force him...thats what iam trying to say....

regarding what u said about ur FIL di...its very nice of ur family to think and care about him...cos nowadays i feel the youngsters dont really care about the parents....biggest eg what SGP gave yesterday of trivedi uncle...i myself have seen a lot of it....and i feel very bad about it....i strongly feel if KK had 2 sons who love him the same way as Suhana and Sanju are...then it might be totally different...being daughters and getting their own life and then looking after parents is tough....thats the reality i guess....want to know ur view on this...

we had a wonderful track of how we have to give importance to our grandparents...here is a track telling about the respect and care that one should give to the parents....

Originally posted by: _charu_

i'm sorry for meddling in...but it's a very touchy topic for me..Shwets, i'm not saying that this is the universal truth but just my opinion..daughters are physically away from her parents but emotionally close..and with sons, it's ulta..they r physically close but emotionally away...and this distance comes in after his marriage...see, i'll not advocate the cause of either in laws or DIL...i've played all the roles..when i got married, my MIL thought that i've taken her son away..when my bro. got married, my mom thought my bhabhi took my bro away from her...when my mil and mom must have got married, they wud have preferred that their husbands give them 100% attention....it happens naturally...thats why i said that everyone gets busy with their lives...a son has his own life with his wife and his children..parents may not be secondary but since they don't get the attention which they expect, they r complaining most of the time ! the priorities set in....what today's kids do to their parents, the same their children r gonna do with them...they wud want more independence bec. time is changing that way..the lifestyles r changing that way....

one of our family friends, she told me that she has 6 brothers but still she has to look after her parents..none of their sons want to keep their parents with them...i know someone very close who had only daughters , and ur very right that after they marry it's difficult to take care of your parents......if ur very lucky you might find some happiness in your old age...and that comes only bec. of your companion!! i think kids do take care of their parents in India (bec. they live with this mentality that son is an investment which comes handy in old age!) but the sad part is that due to this mentality, they prefere sons over daughters....they don't prefer a girl child 😭 We seriously need to change this mentality(or rather this old age system) that daughters ka apne maayke se koi rishta nahi rehta shadi ke baad

Originally posted by: Shwets1502

charu di....😃well said...i think all of them are interconnected....like if one expects the children to take of parents...then the parents should also see that they dont interfere too much also....i hope u are getting what i say....now for eg...in my house...i have my grandmother....my grandfather expired long ago..before i was born....she stays in all her sons house as well as in her daughters house....but she finds home only here....becos we give importance to her decision....and she also does not interfere too much with what we are doing....thats important....parents when they turn old needs attention...for sure....but they shud also try and understand that the children cannot give all the attention to them as they have other people too....now my maternal grandfather....my grandmother passed away few years back....till my grandmother was there....my grandfather got importance....but now....not that much....its all in the hands of the children as well as the parents....

about the girl child...the daughter can take care of her parents only with the support of her in-laws...i have a neighbour....the women's mother stays with them....so there are many cases of that also....

but in all the cases....the women can adjust and stay alone....which is not the case with men...they get totally dependent on someone in their life and when they are not there they struggle...

iam confused....but in all the cases...KK doesnt fit...😕😕