Part XXVIII
She sat on the swing in the terrace of Sneha's house, looking at the night sky lit up by a crescent moon and stars, with eyes swollen from hours of crying. She could not help but draw a parallel between the phases of the moon and her life with Maan. The start of their relationship was like the new moon, dark and mysterious. But gradually as they started seeing each other in a different light, their bond strengthened like the rising moon. Their relationship was at its peak during the Independence day celebrations when, like the full moon, it shone the brightest. Since then it has been waning like the waxing moon till that day when the discovery of Maan's love had pitched her back in darkness much like the return of the new moon.
Why has she been singled out by destiny for the choicest of treatment, she wondered. All the men in her life seemed to have abandoned her when she needed them the most. Her childhood friend whom she trusted with the smallest of details of her life did not trust her enough to confide in her his love life, thereby letting her weave dreams around him which were shattered before they were realised. Her father who had always been her emotional anchor was not strong enough to bear the disappointment of her broken engagement and left her for the heavenly abode even before she could bid him a proper adieu. Her brother, her own flesh and blood, used her as a pawn for furthering his own ambitions. Her husband, from whom she never expected anything in the beginning, gave her a ray of hope through his actions, only to snatch it away before it fructified into something more meaningful. She felt cheated; she felt betrayed; she felt lost. Her life, which appeared to have achieved some purpose after she started bonding with Maan, seemed to suddenly turn rudderless again.
When she left Maan's place that night she was still in a state of shock to register what had befallen her. All she knew was that she needed to get out of that place as soon as possible as she felt too suffocated. She did not want to go back to Handa House lest she troubles her mother who already had her share of troubles, what with a son like Arjun. If she comes to know that her daughter's life was in shambles, she would have been too heartbroken. It is then that she remembered her childhood friend, Sneha. As she took the local train to Malad where she lived, the entire evening's events started slowly seeping in. Strangely she felt no anger or bitterness against either Maan or Sameera, only a huge sense of disappointment at not being taken into confidence. She felt betrayed by their secrecy.
She did not blame them for loving each other. After all it is not a crime to love but why did they not tell her about it? Sameera was her closest friend. She had been with her through her most trying and turbulent times and understood her like none other. Then why did she not tell her that she was in love with Maan when her marriage was fixed up with him? She would have definitely brought them together even it meant marrying any creep Arjun would have chosen for her in return for his marrying Anwesha. Sameera had been through a lot of pain since childhood and deserved happiness and she would have ensured she got it. Moreover, she knew nothing of Maan back then and would not have missed him but now that she has fallen so hopelessly in love with him, leaving him was tearing her apart from within.
At least her husband could have confided in her when she kept asking him what was troubling him. Granted they only knew each other for about three and a half months but did they not develop a strong bond of friendship during the last couple of months? She would have still been heartbroken because by then she was too deeply in love with him but at least she would have not tortured herself wondering about the reason behind his strange behaviour.
Her heart cried out in agony at losing the only man she romantically loved. When she lost Dev she felt more betrayed than hurt. The fact that she mistook friendship for love hit her only after she lost him because she did not feel the pangs of a ditched lover but that of a ditched friend. Losing Maan, though, was like losing her heart, for within the short time she had known him she had accepted him fully into her heart. He was her world. Losing him was like losing her breath, the reason why she felt suffocated and breathless at the sight of him with Sameera but she had willed herself to give him up because at the end of it all his happiness meant more to her than her own.
Meanwhile in Sneha's apartment
Geet had reached Sneha's house at around 8.30 p.m. While Sneha was elated to see her long time friend, she quickly realised that something was amiss seeing her friend's face. Despite Geet's best efforts to hide her tears, the melancholic look in her eyes was unmistakable and Sneha's heart went out to her friend. She gently inquired if something was wrong but Geet merely told her that she was having some marital problems and wanted to stay with her for a couple of days till she finds an alternate accommodation to move into. Seeing that she did not want to discuss her problems with her, Sneha did not prod her but told her she can stay with her as long as she wants. Moreover, her husband was away attending a Medical Conference in Geneva and will not be back till the weekend. After she showed her the guest room, Sneha offered to serve dinner but Geet wanted go up to the terrace to get some fresh air. While waiting for her, Sneha had received the call from Sameera. Although she was initially reluctant to admit Geet's presence in her house, she also knew that unless the newly-weds communicate they cannot sort out any issues between themselves. As Maan's visit can help solve whatever problems they were having, she invited him over.
Maan was there at her doorstep at around 9.00 pm. Sneha was surprised that he had reached there so soon but then could understand his urgency from his eyes which constantly kept searching for his wife even while he was introducing himself to her. Sneha did not want to make him wait any longer. So after the preliminary introduction she took him to the terrace and switching on the light, left the husband and wife alone to sort out their issues in private.
Disturbed from her troubled thoughts by the sudden brightness, Geet turned towards the light and saw Maan standing at the entrance to the terrace. Her heart skipped a beat to see the person she was thinking of at that very moment. Soon the excitement of seeing the man she loved so dearly was clouded by the heart wrenching pain of having lost him and she turned her back to him. Maan was quick to notice the change in her expression and was equally pained at having caused it in the first place. He slowly walked up to her. She got up from the swing and went to the far corner of the terrace. Not wanting to intrude into her private space, Maan stood two feet away from her and poured his heart out.
"Geet, I know you are angry with me right now. You have every right to be. I have no right to be standing in front of you after all that I had subjected you through in the past weeks. You had been nothing but loving and caring not only towards me but also towards my family. If it had not been for you, my Baba would not be on the road to recovery."
At the mention of Baba, Geet turned around and raised her palm to stop him, "Maan, you need not feel obliged to me for what I had done for your Baba. I was a fool not to realise that the change in your attitude towards me was because you felt grateful to me for taking care of your Baba and not because you had developed feelings for me. It was my mistake to have misunderstood you and built my dreams around you. Ever since I revealed my love, you were doing your best to push me away. Only I did not take the cue. I did not realise that you can't love me, now or ever."
Maan was shocked to hear this. Did she think that he merely felt gratitude towards her? "Geet, who said I can't love you?" he asked her quietly.
"You did," she said, more as a statement rather than as an accusation. "I heard you tell Sameera you can't love me. I can understand it Maan, you can't love me because you can't forget your love for Sameera."
Maan was completely taken aback when he heard this. Geet had heard him? Was she there when he confessed to Sameera his problem? How much had she heard? Not much, from what she was saying now, he thought ruefully. He could well appreciate her pain. It was one thing to read his diary and quite another to also hear him admit to his ex-lover that he can't love his wife. How much she must have hurt hearing those thoughtless words. He wanted to hit himself for causing her so much anguish.
"Geet, I am so sorry you heard those words but they did not mean what you think they do. I thought I can't love you enough, as much as you deserve. I thought my love was inadequate in front of your supreme love and sacrifice. It is not that I have not forgotten my love for Sameera, Geet, but that I have forgotten it and that too in one month. I was scared that if I can forget a ten-year love in a month, what sort of commitment I can bring to my love for you. I was scared that I may end up hurting you more by giving you hope. That is why I tried to push you away from me, Geet, I tried to make you dislike me but I couldn't stop loving you, I couldn't give you up. You are my world, Geet. Without you I am nothing," he said, his voice betraying his pain.
Geet looked into his eyes and saw the truth in his words. She could see his desperate longing for her; his remorse for having hurt her and most of all his deep love for her.
By now Maan was reduced to tears. He started pleading with her "Geet, please give me a second chance to prove my love, to wipe out the pain I've caused, to......" Before he could continue, Geet reached up and putting her arms around his neck, she dragged his face to her and sealed his lips with hers. Maan was too stunned by the suddenness of her act but he let himself drown in her kiss.
Continued here:
Edited by Opti - 14 years ago
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Cricket
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