"Hatred is blind, as well as love." - Wilde
I'm sick. Nose running. Head hurting. Contacts popping out. But I cannot sleep until I've vented, until I have - as so many others have today - shared my thoughts on today's episode. Since we were deprived of Seema scenes [insert wiggling eyebrows here], I've got no one to analyze, so upon rewatching today's episode, I had a few thoughts on the relationship between D and Kala.
In today's episode, Kala said that she used to leave D in the dark as a kid, yet he would find the way back to their mother. This revelation was nothing short of heartbreaking. But it had me thinking. First, I wonder how D is going to react to Kala being the cruel mind behind all of his miseries. Second, I wonder if, deep down, he remembers Kala leaving him in the dark. If we think about it, psychologically speaking, a person who has been treated the way D has as a kid - wouldn't he, in some way, be marked by it? D has a certain kind of respect toward Kala - not because he agrees with her intentions/actions, but it's something else. This respect that he has for her, this odd attachment that often results in her words leaving some sort of impact on his mind - perhaps it all roots in the small cruelties she performed upon him as a child.
I mean, as a child, he must've felt some sort of abandonment when she left him in the dark. But still he adored her. There's a strain on their relationship, though. There always seems to have been. Even back when she didn't want him dead. What is it that D feels for Kala? Does he care about her? Yes, that's for sure. Does he fear her? No. But hasn't she left some tiny fracture in him, some small mark as a result of what she put him through as a child?
Is that where his attachment to her came from? The fact that he always listened to her, even when he hated the words coming from her mouth? Is it the reason that he couldn't read this woman's heart? Does he know, deep down, that there's a crack in her "love" for him, and has he pretended not to have seen it?
He will be forced to face her hatred now. That's for sure.
I think that when you care a lot for someone and that someone is cruel to you, you tend to suppress the cruel memories/emotions. I think that D does remember what Kala did to him as a child, but the memories/emotions have been buried inside of him. Will they emerge when he stands face to face with Kala?
I'm relieved that Naku remained silent throughout the confrontation tonight. The turmoil of emotions within Kala were obvious, and her mother was very much in focus to her. It's not her mother's fault that she's become this heartless woman, but I believe that AS could've handled things better regarding Kala when she was a child and had witnessed her father's death. I've a feeling that Kala were used as a support to a mother of four children shortly after having witnessed her father's murder whereas I believe that Kala was the one who needed the most care following that incident. Because she was old enough to remember, to understand, to react.
Kala's fall has been happening since she was that little girl who watched her uncle kill her father. The question is: What will be her end?
This has quickly turned into a Kala analysis, which isn't my area at all. Ignore the last bit 😕
I've now vented my thoughts and am ready for bed. Nights, guys. Sweet dreams of D.