OS - Saviour - CH5/PG13 - Page 7

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upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#61

Originally posted by: desisrock

Great update, Diya!! Good kalakari shown!! 😆!! Nice - now how will Urmila and her wonderful Raashi go shopping/spa etc. And it will be interesting to see how Urmila gets Raashi back to MM......Do continue soon!! Cheers!



Shopping??? i don't think so😉.... here they are dealing with FF writers hun and evil can never win here... right???? lolzzzz
will be posting update soon
upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#62

Originally posted by: Nihira-fan

I really enjoyed your FF...very well written!!looking forward to reading some more!



Thanks dear😊
upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#63

Originally posted by: khansk

Nice part. Loved it. But does koki noe about gopi?


am not telling anyone about Gopi.....
that was not my statement, but Kinjal's..... 😃
Modi family has to belofy a lot of papad before they find their Pyaari vahu, so they can appreciate her more and not use her as a spare head maid
upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#64

Originally posted by: sam1903

diya loved ur os...

i loved the change in kinjal... and her concern for Gopi... 👏
kalakaari again...



Thanks for liking it Sam

Kinjal will be a nice soul in this FF.... and nanad-bhabhi have got a good rapport between them..
even Dhawal is not bad but gullible and naive towards those he loves

can't help it dear... got to have some famous kalakaaris....😃
Edited by upasana.diya - 14 years ago
upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#65

Originally posted by: simran15

@ diya-- wonderful narration...well written n an awesome plot........thoroughly enjoyed it.😊



thank you sim for loving it... hope i can meet the expectations😊
upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#66

Originally posted by: crms

Enjoyed it Diya.

Looking forward to more



Thank you Madhu Kaaki...

Pepsi (Chapter 4) is on the way
upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#67

right away hun
upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#68
Thanks to all those who loved it and commented and thanks to the silent readers too for the encouragement it gives me to know that you all are loving it

Here comes the Chapter 4 and would love to know how you liked and any changes you want or any other thing that could be included...

CHAPTER 4

Urmi and rashi go to Modi Mansion to try their luck.

Urmi – Jai Shree Krishna Vevanji. I have a complaint.

Koki raises an eyebrow as if to say 'when was the last time you didn't have a complaint'.

Hetal – Jai Shree Krishna Urmila Ben. How come you are here today as well?

Urmi is shocked by this sarcastic tone, but persists.

Urmi – How can you turn away my daughter like that? She is your vahu and honor of your family.

Hetal – Even if we had had a 1% assurance that she knows this in her heart, I would have helped her to change. But we don't believe her anymore and I don't want to interfere in my son's decisions.

At this point Rashi puts up a show of throwing up and rushes to the nearest restroom. And outside Urmila makes quite a big scene as to what happened to her daughter. Urmila assists Rashi, who is looking drained out, to a sofa and makes a huge fuss as to how no one is calling a doctor and calls one herself. Hetal being softhearted melts a little seeing Rashi in such a bad condition, but Koki being shrewd sees something was not right, but waits for the drama to pan out.

The doctor comes and confirms Rashi's pregnancy. Hetal is elated, but Koki has a suspicious look.

Koki – How could you get our vahu treated by a quack doctor? I'll call my specialist.

Urmi – Don't you trust the doctor too?

Koki – I trust the doctor, but I want to get her checked by a specialist to make sure no complications arise in future. Rashi, stay in bed till the doctor is here.

Koki calls their family doctor and she along with Hetal go down to greet her and bring her to Rashi. In the meanwhile

Rashi – Mummy, your Kalakari is not going to win this time. They have decided not to trust us atall.

Urmi – it seems so, Dikhra. What shall we do?

Rashi – if we stay here it will be confirmed that the pregnancy was false and we won't be able to keep our face. But we can let the farce be found out and say the doctor was not the best one.

Urmi – Lets blame it on the doctor, atleast we won't be caught

Rashi – Theek hai Mummy. We will do that.

They implement what they decided, since they knew the pregnancy was false. After Rashi-Urmi duo blame the whole thing on the doctor they try to worm into Modi house again, but clever Koki catches up on their plot

Koki – Rashi, till Jigar dikhra decides what to do, its better you stay at your maiyka. Jigar won't like it, if he sees you here. And we still have Gopi vahu to find, so we don't want Jigar to hit the roof. He won't forgive us, if we let the person who harmed his Gopi Bhabhi into the house

Rashi and Urmi stare at her with astonished eyes

Koki – Jai Shree Krishna

Urmi-Rashi duo had to leave now.

Urmi had high hopes from her Kalakari, but it wasn't just Koki she was going against this time but the whole of Modi family, who are not easy to fool a second time even in normal circumstances and these were not normal atall. No one believed either Urmi or Rashi now.

Back in Mumbai, Kinjal and Dhawal have already moved into Dhawal's 3-Bedroom Flat with Gopi. Though Dhawal was not as wealthy as Modi's but he had a comfortable living. Now Kinjal, under the influence of her Gopi Bhabhi, had kept aside her misgivings starts thinking about this marriage in a positive way. What had she to loose? Dhawal listens to her every whim and fantasy and tries to fulfill them too. How bad can her marriage turn to if she gives it a bit of chance? Not much bad anyway. So she decides to give a chance to both Dhawal and her marriage. She vowed to give it her 100% before making any decisions. She also decided on helping her Bhabhi in her plight. And for that she had a few confessions to make to her family. But she didn't have the courage to tell them anything.

Both Gopi and Kinjal had worked up a schedule to help each other. Gopi was to make Kinjal good at cooking, while Kinjal will teach Gopi the written word as well as the ways of the world. Even Dhawal used to help them in this every day after his business hours. He has a well run Restaurant business, which employs quite a big staff. His main task was to teach Gopi accounting and business. All this Gopi's avid mind grasped and kept in store till her written word was good.

Also, Gopi was not to answer the phone and the door just in case someone they knew were the ones calling. Kinjal and Dhawal were very particular about Gopi not meeting those who can give away her whereabouts.

Back in Rajkot, everyone was tensed and worried about Gopi's whereabouts. Mamaji was sure Gopi is still in the city, but still every bus stand and railway station was checked, all reservation details were checked too. But there was no information of Gopi. They just found, when and how Kinjal and Dhawal went back to Mumbai, but nothing about Gopi. It seemed as if Gopi had vanished into thin air. This was due to the clever thinking of Dhawal and extra care he took while arranging for travel, which was to buy a different ticket in someone else's name from a different counter for Gopi.

For all intents and purposes Gopi has vanished. Ahem, who until few days back, could not stand the presence of Gopi, was also worried. No one was ready to believe that his concern for Gopi was true nor was anyone concerned with his worries. Everyone thought it to be an act or he was worried because his mother was worried. Ahem was flabbergasted at his family's reluctance to believe him, which made him think back on his behavior towards Gopi which was more like bullying a helpless person. He thought back to the day where he got to know she was illiterate but he hadn't confronted his mother. How can anyone cheat his mother who can tell a dishonest person from a mile away? But in his rage and distress he never stopped to consider anyone else. He was frustrated with himself, because he didn't know how to make his family believe his concerns and work with them to find Gopi.

Ahem – How can I make them believe my concerns?... and this stupid girl… where in the world is she and how is she coping….

But there were only walls around him, who can never answer him. Was this the kind of life he wanted? No, never. He has to find Gopi soon before everything comes apart. He plans to call Kinjal to know what exactly happened on the day Gopi went missing. When he reaches for his mobile phone, he realizes the time is way past 2am. So pushing this for the first thing in the morning list, he goes to bed.

Next morning Ahem calls Kinjal as soon as he wakes up. Kinjal was still abed and Gopi was in Kitchen. Gopi had taken morning duties as she couldn't help waking up early.

Ahem – Hello, Kinjal. How are you?

Kinjal – Ahem Bhai. I am fine. How are you? How is everyone at home?

Ahem – I am fine and everyone else is fine too. But everyone is worried about Gopi.

Kinjal – why are they worried about Gopi Bhabhi. Did something happen?

Ahem – Gopi is nowhere to be found. We searched the whole of Rajkot, but couldn't find her anywhere.

Kinjal – But why are you worried Bhai? You should be happy that she is no longer around to bother you.

Ahem – How can I not worry about her when she was living with us for more than half a year? Also, since the whole house is worried, how can I detach myself?

Kinjal – Bhai, don't you think you are more worried than anyone else?

Ahem – Kinjal, leave that for now. But, did you hear anything that Gopi might have said to her Mama-Mami which can reveal her whereabouts.

Kinjal is shocked and thinks on how much to reveal to Ahem bhai. But finally plans on revealing nothing as per now, except for what the others might already know.

Kinjal – as far as I remember Bhai. Urmila Kaki threatened to burn herself and while Kakaji was trying to placate her, Gopi Bhabhi just left without a backward glance.

Ahem – Do you think Dhawal might know something?

Kinjal – I am not sure Bhai. Dhawalji did go out for a while 15-20 mins later, when we couldn't find Gopi Bhabhi anywhere, but I remember he told me he was making preparations to come back to Mumbai, without alerting Urmila Kaki, lest she stop us.

Ahem – Kinjal, if you remember anything else pertaining to this, don't forget to call home or me.

Kinjal – Ji Bhai

Ahem is feeling very helpless as to what to do. Police investigations were returning no result though they did get Police Commissioner to use his influence on his people.

Ahem – Where could this girl have gone? Did something bad happen to her? Ohhh God. I won't be able to forgive myself if something happens to her. God. I beg you, return her safely. Though I am sure I don't love her, but I promise not to hate her and I promise to treat her right and protect her.

After getting ready he goes to start another day filled with work, rounds and calls to police stations and his own search. He was feeling defeated at encountering walls at every turn. He couldn't find a single clue. He had traced her only to a temple in their locality. From there the track went cold. But he thinks that he has to persist till he finds anything definite. No news is not bad news.

Back in Mumbai Kinjal tells Dhawal that Ahem Bhai called and apprises him of the conversation and what she told on his behalf. Dhawal is fine with it and promises to support her. He leaves for his job after that while Kinjal and Gopi are all set to start a new day.

Kinjal (to herself) – I cannot tell Gopi that everyone at home is worried about her as yet. I have to keep her away from our family for a while, till I can help her get her bearings and make her a bit more confident.

As planned Kinjal starts helping Gopi with languages and written word till it is time for Lunch and then Gopi helps her with new dishes everyday, which Kinjal had neglected when her mother taught her. After lunch it was back to studies where sometimes Kinjal showed her how helpful computer can be in maintaining many things, then the same reversal of roles till Dinner. Once they had their dinner Dhawal used to teach her Accounts and business. Though they used to have a busy day, all of them were happy to be accomplishing something.


Rafeal. thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#69
My poor Rashi.. I knw ur doing this on purpose😭
upasana.diya thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#70

Originally posted by: Jake-neil

My poor Rashi.. I knw ur doing this on purpose😭


what am i doing on purpose😔😲... tell your Saasuma to change😡, because the CVs here are not the same as on SNS...😉

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