If I walk down this hallway
Tonight it's too quiet
Fresh blood stained his hands, dripping from his fingertips and onto the marble floor. Tiny puddles of sin marked his path as he stumbled through the darkened room and toward the vague outline of his bed. His body collapsed on top of the messy sheets. His chest moved heavily, troubled by the invisible weight that he had carried throughout the day. The blood on his hands sunk into the sheets, deep red shades that would never wash.
"Bhao."
The cautious voice of his friend made him lift his head, peering tiredly through the dark toward the doorway. Baji shifted his weight from one foot to the other and cleared his throat. Worry marred his voice when he spoke again, "Bhao, are you alright?"
So I pat through the dark
And call you on your phone
"Fine," Dutta answered quietly. He pushed himself up, perching on the edge of his bed. His sheets still smelled like her quiet fragrance. Shaking his head as if to erase a memory, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. His hands hung loosely and he watched drops of red slide down his skin. He had forgotten whose blood it was. The fire within him had ceased, leaving nothing but an old, familiar hollowness in its wake; the same hollowness that had driven him to consume bottles of liquid that might've held the power to make him forget – just for a moment.
That moment was over.
"You're not fine, Bhao." Worry marred Baji's voice as he moved into the room. He rubbed the back of his neck, restlessly. "Bhao, we're all worried about you. You- Look at you. You've got to stop doing this to yourself."
"I'm fine, Baji," Dutta repeated in that same lowered voice, yet there was an odd warning tone to it. He balled his hands into fists, feeling the cool blood sink into his skin.
She won't come unless he leaves, his mind whispered.
With a deep breath, Dutta looked up at his friend. "Go," he said calmly.
Baji frowned, frustration and concern making his voice shake. "Eh, Bhao-" he started.
"Go."
Dutta watched as Baji slowly backed out of his room and shut the door behind him. Then Dutta bent his head, closed his eyes, and waited. Like always, he felt the cool tingle of an invisible breeze first. It brushed over his face, stealing his breath. The scent hit him next, filling his senses, almost drugging them. Every fibre of his being stretched toward this strange unseen presence, reaching and reaching until his bones ached.
Push your old numbers and let your house ring
Till I wake your ghost
And then… finally...
"Saab."
He felt her breath against his ear, her whisper erasing his exhaustion, his grief. He opened his eyes and there she was, standing right in front of him in a simple saree and that loving smile on her lips.
"Naku," he whispered, relief washing over him in waves.
I think last night you were driving circles around me
I think last night you were driving circles around me
She moved toward him, took his bloodied hands in her own without flinching. There was excitement in her eyes tonight. They all but glowed with delight and he found himself drawn into their depths. He could look at her for hours like this. But tonight she wouldn't let him.
"Will you come outside with me, Saab?" she asked softly.
He gazed up at her, taking her in. "It's raining."
She smiled, lightly tugging at his hands. "Will you come outside with? Please?"
He shouldn't. He should ask her to leave.
She was gone. This was wrong.
I think last night you were driving circles around me
I think last night you were driving circles around me
But like every other night, he did as she asked of him. He stood and followed her out of his room, followed her outside where the dark skies stretched above them, a canopy of stars. The rain poured down on them, saturating them in seconds, but he barely even noticed it. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He was afraid that she'd disappear any moment now, just as she always did.
"Saab," she said, still smiling. She lifted her head, swinging their joined hands lightly. "Can you feel that?" She stepped closer and pressed his hand against her damp cheek. "Bappa washed away your sins. You've been reborn." She released his hand and spun around in a circle.
He looked down. The blood had vanished from his hands.
I think last night you were driving circles around me
I think last night you were driving circles around me
A scream tore through the night, submerging him in ice. His head whipped up to find her standing still in the middle of the rain, hugging her waist. Pain flashed in her widened eyes as they stared back at him, silently pleading.
"Why can't I stay?" she whispered.
"Naku," he said, his voice breaking. Something shattered within him, once again, as it always did when this moment came. He reached for her, his fingers grasping at nothing but air. He could only watch life abandon her, only watch her fade as he did every night.
"Saab," she whispered, tears flooding her eyes. "Saab, I want to stay."
It's the blaze across your nightgown
It's the phone's ring
Dutta closed his own eyes, fighting the despair that filled his chest and clouded his mind. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe. When he opened his eyes, she was gone.
And she left nothing behind but the ghost of her touch.
Rain dripped from his eyelashes and jaw-line, sliding down into the collar of his black vest. The fabric stuck to his skin, reminding him of where he was. With a deep intake of humid air, he turned around and headed back to his room.
I think last night you were driving circles around me
I think last night you were driving circles around me
She was gone. But that was alright. For tomorrow night, she would come again. And just like every night, he would wait for her.
-
Hope you enjoyed it 😊
