Joint Family vs Nuclear Family --Your thoughts ?

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Posted: 15 years ago

ME forum waloo, 😛

Apara brought up topic of joint/nuclear family in conversation with Sarita. There are of course pros and cons of joint and nuclear family both.

I would like to know your thoughts . 😳

Would you prefer join family or nuclear? and why ?
How would you want to be taken care off when you are old? Would you prefer to spend time with your kids? or rather in Old age homes ? or taking care of yourself ? - Why?

Back in those days, all brothers/grandparents/uncles used to stay in single house and all women would take care of household work. As time progressed, nuclear families were formed because of jobs/migration/family member conflicts. In some cases, it was burden taking care of old parents so they were sent to old age homes etc .

Being in nuclear family gets you freedom and you can manage your life the way you would like to. And of course there are several other advantages.

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axeion

@axeion

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

This argument is so similar to "Living Alone vs Living with Family" 😕 Will post more later... Good topic Arjun 👍🏼

Edited by axeion - 15 years ago

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-Sneha25-

@-Sneha25-

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

Nice topic Arjun..👏

Will comment aramse...

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-Sneha25-

@-Sneha25-

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

My 2 cents on JF VS NF

Joint Family

Pros : You will have a family to help you whenever in need. For eg. if there is a working couple with small kids in the family, there will be people at home taking care of children. So you don't have to rely on caretakers thus saving the expenses too.

Since there are many people in the house, the house chore duties can be delegated, so that it wont be tiring for single person and also will save domestic help expenses. (I know I am too worried about savings 😆 but cant help😊)

Lastly, emotionally, its a very nice feeling that you have a big family around and also for moral support whenever you need it.

Cons : Conflict of interests with family members with traditional mindset defintiely leads to tensed atmosphere though not often.

Secondly, Your freedom is definitely restricted in joint families.

Lastly, Intrusion of privacy. Some people like to keep their lives as private as possible. So constant nagging from other family members becomes very irritating.

Nuclear Family

Pros : The biggest advantage is freedom, Yeah, you can have things in ur own way. One does not have to make big adjustments and sacrifices.

Cons : One has to rely on maids for maintaining household. And it becomes more difficult when both husband and wife are working. And with small kids around one has to depend on nannies. I personally don't like the idea of leaving ur kids with nanny as I don't trust people easily.

Conclusion

With little adjustments from both sides and giving enough space to each other the concept of joint family can very well be worked out. If the above condition is fulfilled, then I don't mind preferring joint family(not the overcrowded one for sure), else Nuclear family is a safe bet which obviously comes with lot of responsibilities and dependence.

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kananya

@kananya

Beginner

Posted: 15 years ago

If the individuals concerned give enough space and respect to each other, then joint family is good. Otherwise even with a few inconveniences, for me, a nuclear family is always preferable.

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Isha.Isha

@Isha.Isha

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: sbanik
Conclusion

With little adjustments from both sides and giving enough space to each other the concept of joint family can very well be worked out. If the above condition is fulfilled, then I don't mind preferring joint family(not the overcrowded one for sure), else Nuclear family is a safe bet which obviously comes with lot of responsibilities and dependence.

Sneha, very well put together post! 👏👍🏼
I personally like the kind of arrangement 'Sarita ki Devrani' has. Paas ke paas and door ke door. That will help enjoying all the benefits of both worlds😃

I agree, both have their own advantages and adjustments to be made. However, it is very difficult to have a joint family where all are of adjusting nature.

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roshni

@roshnii

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

nice topic arjun..but i miss BB forum...anyways,watevr i m writing is the POV of a woman,coz men luv their own family,they dont hav 2 leave da house n adjust in new environment..in joint family,u dnt feel lonely or get bored,but ladies have 2 work day n night-cooking,cleaning,serving food all day,if 1 member hasnt eaten,the ladies cant go out,they hav 2 wait,small misunderstanding leads 2 mahabharat...n in nuclear family u can wake up late also n u dont have 2 sit wit pallu on ur head,eat with husband...all this i hav written coz i hav seen the life of my buas in typical middle class joint family,are yaar tv tak dekhne ko nahi milta unhe.so anytime i prefer nuclear family...but arjun old age home ke bare me likhke thoda emotional kar diya

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113831

Suspended

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: roshnii
..but arjun old age home ke bare me likhke thoda emotional kar diya

Rosh .....liked your views 👍🏼 You are right about lack of freedom and voice in joint family.

But yes ...i think when we step into shoes of old age people ..we probably will have different opinions 😳 I saw some families where old aged parents wish to spend their last days with parents/grandkids .....but nuclear families keep ignoring them :(

i think nuclear family is preferable ...as long as don't break that social bonding with parents/relatives. I also see some families where siblings share the parents ......parents stay in one child's house for 6 months and another one for 6 months ........that option is better than leaving parents on their own or at old age homes :)

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Naureen

@naureenfizz

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

It extremely difficult for a girl to adjust in joint family!!! Ya totally agree with Roshni!!! A girl have to suffer a lot to adjust in joint family!!! Sab ko saath lay k chalna, sab ko khush rakhna!!! Even yihan to joint family mein car mein aagay kaun bethay gaa uss per b jhagra hota hai!!!! Zara see misunderstanding puray ghar ka environment even relations b disturb kar deti hai!!! Specially after kid, kabhie bacha beemar ho jayay to yeh sunna parta hai ziyada dhayan nahi rakhti aur ziyada healthy ho jayay to yeh k khila khila k mota kar dya ab weight loose karnay mein problem ho gaa!!! OMG!!! Girls won't be able to hang out with friends, go for shopping etc!!! She spemd whole day on house hold work and taking care of all in-laws... And if there is a working woman to problem double ho jaata hai even she can't take rest on sunday!!! Adjustment from both sides is very necessary in joint family but woh bauhat rarely dekhnay ko milta hai!!!

I agree that woman gets bore in nuclear, but after kids loneliness can easily be covered!!! Privacy of both saas-bahu can be maintain!!! Its not necessary that if we are not living with our Sasural to unn ko old age home jaana chaiyay!!!! We can continue good relation to give them financial support, 24hrs maid!!! And can spend our whole day on weekends!!!

I think it's better to live nuclear than living together and fighting under one roof!!! Fighting under one roof creates very bad impression to kids too!!! Its not good for the kids upbringing and future too!!!

Edited by sweetrahz - 15 years ago

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roshni

@roshnii

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: sweetrahz
It extremely difficult for a girl to adjust in joint family!!! Ya totally agree with Roshni!!! A girl have to suffer a lot to adjust in joint family!!! Sab ko saath lay k chalna, sab ko khush rakhna!!! Even yihan to joint family mein car mein aagay kaun bethay gaa uss per b jhagra hota hai!!!! Zara see misunderstanding puray ghar ka environment even relations b disturb kar deti hai!!! Specially after kid, kabhie bacha beemar ho jayay to yeh sunna parta hai ziyada dhayan nahi rakhti aur ziyada healthy ho jayay to yeh k khila khila k mota kar dya ab weight loose karnay mein problem ho gaa!!! OMG!!! Girls won't be able to hang out with friends, go for shopping etc!!! She spemd whole day on house hold work and taking care of all in-laws... And if there is a working woman to problem double ho jaata hai even she can't take rest on sunday!!! Adjustment from both sides is very necessary in joint family but woh bauhat rarely dekhnay ko milta hai!!!

I agree that woman gets bore in nuclear, but after kids loneliness can easily be covered!!! Privacy of both saas-bahu can be maintain!!! Its not necessary that if we are not living with our Sasural to unn ko old age home jaana chaiyay!!!! We can continue good relation to give them financial support, 24hrs maid!!! And can spend our whole day on weekends!!!

I think it's better to live nuclear than living together and fighting under one roof!!! Fighting under one roof creates very bad impression to kids too!!! Its not good for the kids upbringing and future too!!!

but if in laws r undrstanding,then no problem being wit them,but mujhe devrani aur jethani ka jhamela nahi maangta...but there r uncountable examples wich makes me scared of joint family..

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Joint Family vs Nuclear Family --Your thoughts ?

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