She dropped her bag on her bed, took off her green dupatta and slumped on her bed.. It had been a hectic day at the hospital today.. In fact all the last four days after she returned to Sanjeevni post their engagement had been exhausting.. There was too much work that was pending due to the five-six days of leave that they all had taken for Abhi and Nikki's wedding.. As the temporary replacements were relieved off their duties, they had been burdened with new patients and all the old patients that they had to catch up with.. As a result most of their day went in reading file after file when they weren't on rounds or not operating on anyone.. She knew Armaan was in a similar situation if not worse.. He had his first surgery after his comeback today.. That is why he had not come home with her and was going to come for dinner later.. Yeah that's how it worked now-a-days.. Their daily routine had kind of taken an unexpected turn after their engagement.. Armaan had been coming to her place for breakfast and dinner for the last four days, and this had now become kind of a routine, as her parents wanted to spend time with their damaad-to-be.. What they didn't understand was that he would rather spend that time with his wife-to-be.. As she thought about that she recollected the last four days after that Sunday they had spent together.. She realized that they hardly got to spend any time alone together.. In fact she had not even gone home since that night four days ago.. She sighed as she remembered how her parents had suggested that Armaan have breakfast with them instead of she going to his place so they could enjoy time together as a family.. She was reluctant at first, but then Armaan had only mildly protested and when her mom had spoken to him directly, he obviously wasn't going to say a no.. It had worked out well for her though, as she got to spend time with all the people she loved.. And she thought it was good for Armaan too as he got to spend time with her family and more importantly her dad.. She hoped that by being in each others' informal company might dissolve the awkwardness between the two.. And she was right.. Over the last four days they had really hit it off.. But Armaan still preferred calling him 'sir' whether he was in the hospital or not.. Her mamma though, had become 'Padma mom' from 'Padma aunty' for him.. That had been quite a moment for the two of them when he had addressed her as 'mom' and she had gone and hugged him.. Her mom had obviously leaked a few tears at that, and though she wasn't sure, she thought she saw a lone tear slide out of his eye too.. She was really happy that things were getting better and so soon.. And now she was getting used to her new life as the official fiancee of Dr. Armaan Mallik.. Not only were things different on the family front now, but also at the hospital.. She recounted how when they had gone to Sanjeevni together on Monday everyone in the hospital had congratulated them on their engagement.. It was weird to have Dr. Keerti and Dr. Shubhankar congratulate them.. Unlike the nurses, they had been clueless about the romance budding between their juniors.. Sister Lovely had crushed her into a tight hug, knocking the breath out of her.. Finally Armaan had to intervene before she broke his beloved fiancee.. But all the younger nurses who still had the hots for Armaan were giving her snide glares, but still smiling fakely as they gave their best wishes.. The interns too had wished them a happy life ahead.. Umar bhai had caught them bickering outside his cabin and had awkwardly congratulated them wondering if they really had gotten engaged.. But since all of them had witnessed it themselves at the Diwali party they had no choice but to believe it.. And a lot had changed since then.. Suddenly, it wasn't that great a deal if Armaan held her hand at the nurse station.. People would just give her a knowing smile and walk away.. Nobody asked questions if just the two of them occupied a table for lunch at the canteen.. Though people who knew them would grin at seeing them together, it was all allowed now.. And Riddhima was enjoying all the freedom.. Finally she didn't have to think twice in fear that her dad would see her when she went to see Armaan in his cabin.. She didn't have to look all over the place when he held her hand in public.. Of course that was all he was allowed to do in public.. The rest of the perquisites of being engaged were restricted to his cabin.. However, they didn't get a lot of time to explore their options at all.. What with the overload of work and then the whole spend-time-with-family drama..
If breakfast wasn't enough her dad had compelled Armaan to come home for dinner too.. Not that she wasn't happy that they were trying to make him feel like a part of the family, but she didn't like to share him with all of them all the time.. It was bad enough that they hogged their breakfast time together.. She really missed waking him up every morning.. It had been ages since she'd done that.. And she couldn't even go home with him after dinner, coz it would get very late, what with her dad behaving like his best pal.. Like just yesterday, both of them had sat watching the Spanish football league as Real Madrid and Barcelona were playing each other.. It had turned out that Armaan was more football crazy than cricket.. and what was more.. he supported Barcelona, just like her dad!! So they had sat there all evening in front of the TV, not talking to anyone even during dinner.. He had been at their place past midnight and still had not so much as glanced at her in exchange for the flat screen that showed men running around a ball.. She was least interested in them of course.. But his expressions as he watched the game were quite entertaining.. And her dad's expressions were amusing too when Armaan refused the beer saying he doesn't drink.. Her papa had almost flipped at that one.. How was that possible!.. He had asked her later if he had been lying about it or pretending in front him.. She had hesitated, not wanting to let his secret out to her dad.. She didn't want to tell him.. She wanted to keep him and all his secrets all to herself.. But ultimately she did tell her dad in a sentence or two about the reason for Armaan's abstinence and since then her dad had been even more sensitive towards him.. It was nice and all.. But it was getting on her nerves now.. If in four days they had not found time for each other, how were they going to manage for the rest of the days till they get married.. And to think of it, they didn't even know when they were going to get married.. Nobody, not even the two of them, had discussed about them getting married after the engagement, except for a few references that they made to each other, reminding each other that they would soon be together..
"Riddhima beta.. Please come down and help me with the salad..", her mom's loud call jolted her out of her thoughts.. She groaned as she got up lazily and changed into a black spaghetti and black track pants.. She would have normally put on her shorts, but it was pretty cold now-a-days.. And also her dad wasn't really subtle when he stood in front of her to hide her from Armaan when he had come over for dinner last night.. Armaan had obviously been amused and quite teased her about it today morning at Sanjeevni.. She smiled a shy smile as she remembered what had followed the teasing session.. And of course it had been interrupted by her pager.. Or was it his. She still didn't remember.. All she knew was that she didn't want to let go of him.. And the way he had cursed his pager aloud for interrupting them had convinced her that he wasn't enjoying this distance either.. She knew he wouldn't say it, but he didn't like it one bit that she had not been home for the last four days.. In fact he had reminded her of that today when he had hopefully asked her if she could come home after dinner tonight.. She had obviously refused.. Now that her dad knew everything, lying was also not an option.. And there was no way in hell that he was going to let her go with him past 10:30 - 11:00 and not especially after they had spent a good hour or two at dinner together.. She sighed as she wondered when she would get time to just sit with him and talk.. Or do whatever the hell he wants.. But just the two of them..
Lost in her thoughts, she didn't realize when she had reached the kitchen.. Padma saw her come and hurried her.. "Riddhima.. Kahan kho gayi.. Common help me fast.. Armaan aata hi hoga.. Tumhare papa abhi aaye hain.. We'll start as soon as Armaan comes home.."
"Toh kya banaya hai aaj aapke favorite damaad ke liye..", Riddhima asked her mom as she peeked into the bowls to see what was there for dinner.. She knew it was going to be something new and different.. Her mom had taken upon herself to make special dishes for Armaan everyday.. She was a little jealous that her mom gave him so much importance.. She never got such treats unless there was an occasion.. But with Armaan coming home everyday, everyday was a special day.. She wasn't really complaining though.. At least she got to eat good stuff.. She wasn't too sure if Armaan was enjoying it though.. Coz most of the good stuff was also extremely oily and sinfully calorific..
"Mamma you made pav bhaji!!.. Main kehti hoon toh kabhi nahi banati.. Apparently its too much trouble.. ", Riddhima complained as she took in the yummy aroma of the food her mom had cooked in honor of her son-in-law..
Padma chuckled as she got a hint of jealousy from her.. "Aisa kucch nahi hai.. And tere liye toh humesha banati hoon Riddhima.. Armaan ke liye pehli baar..", but Riddhima cut her off.. "Mamma.. Aap kyun roz roz itna time waste karti ho.. He doesn't even like all this..", she said as she chopped some carrot and cucumber for the salad..
Padma stopped roasting the bread as she heard Riddhima.. "What.. He doesn't.. Pehle kyun nahi bataya.. Then what does he like..", she asked her worriedly..
"Normal food mamma.. What we eat everyday.. Like roti, daal, chawal.. Well he loves paneer.. But occasionally.. And let me tell you he's the least fussy about food.. Karela aur baingan bhi aise khata hai jaise it's the yummiest treat ever.. ", Riddhima told her, making a face, as she put a piece of the carrot she was cutting for the salad into her mouth..
"Oh.. So basically he's the complete opposite of what you are.. Tumhare jaise nakhre nahi hain uske.. So if he likes karela I am sure he wont mind pav bhaji..", Padma smiled and continued with her work..
"Mamma.. You really do love him more, don't you..", Riddhima asked her with a frown..
"Not more than you do..", and she winked at her.. Riddhima blushed as her mouth opened in shock, then shut, then opened again as she couldn't bring herself to say anything.. It was so weird being teased by your mom.. And it got even worse when her dad joined in.. Luckily for her, the bell rang just then and she got up quickly to escape from the kitchen.. As she hurried out, her mom called out, "Dheere jao Riddhima.. I know you're dying to meet him, but he's not running away.."
Riddhima just shook her head as she smiled at her mom's remark and opened the door, still grinning and blushing.. But her grin turned into confusion as she found no one at the door.. As she peeped out, confounded by the absence of the bell ringer, her confusion turned into shock as she was pulled out with a jerk and pinned against the door on the outside.. "Armaan!! ", she almost shrieked as she saw his smirk.. Her heart was thudding badly due to his sudden ambush..
"Shh.. ", he shut her up, placing his palm on her mouth.. "Tumhare papa andar hain?..", he asked her in a hush.. She nodded as she tried to get his hand off her mouth.. "Padma mom andar hain?..", he asked her again and she nodded again in reply.. "Aur nani..", but before he could complete his question she slapped his arm and got his hand away from her mouth.. "Woh bhi andar hain Armaan.. What is wrong with you.. Yeh kya tareeka hai?..", she started with her tirade..
"Basket.. Shh.. Dheere baat karo.. If they hear us we'll have to go inside..", he told, still speaking in whispers as he hugged her tight bringing her closer from her waist.. She smiled as she felt him hide his face in her hair and take in the smell and couldn't help but hug him back.. "Armaan.. Anyway we'll have to go inside.. Tumhe ho kya gaya hai?..", she asked him suspiciously.. He was behaving really weird..
"We are not going in till I get what I want Basket!.. "he declared obstinately as he pulled out a little to look at her..
Riddhima opened her mouth in shock.. "Armaan.. Tum pagal ho kya.. You want me to kiss you here. Like this.. What if the watchman sees us..", she asked him unbelievably..
"What.. Kiss?!!.. ", he asked, confused himself a little.. Then realizing what she said he grinned a naughty smile, "I wasn't even thinking about a kiss Basket.. Looks like someone is desperate for one..", he raised his eyebrows as he smiled a cheeky smile, leaning in on her to tease her..
She looked away bringing her hands to his chest to push him away as he still held her close by her waist.., "Armaan stop it.. Its not funny.. Bolo tumhe kya chahiye.."
"No its ok Basket.. Pehle I'll give you what you want.. Then we'll talk about what I want.." and he leaned in, still grinning.. But she glared at him and looked away.. So he just kissed her shoulder and she twitched immediately.. "Armaan.."
"Achha theek hai we'll continue this after dinner when we go home..", he said, trying to sound all casual..
She heard him and smiled.. So this was what it was all about.. And it was about time too.. She knew he would want her to come home.. In fact she was just wondering what took him so long to make his demand.. But she couldn't fulfill it.. At least not today.. "Armaan you know we cant..", she started but..
"Please Basket.. Just for half an hour.. I know we'll have to ask your dad.. But hopefully he wont have a problem.. I promise just half an hour.. Then I wont trouble you for the rest of the week.. I swear..", he pleaded taking her face in his hands.. Riddhima looked at his eyes in surprise.. Why was he acting like he was the one who wanted her to come home.. Did he think she was ok with this situation of theirs.. "Armaan.. You're not troubling me.. Tumhe kya lagta hai I don't miss coming home.. I want to.. I just don't know how to ask papa.. ", she looked into his eyes trying to read what was going on.. But for the first time she was finding it difficult.. She had this feeling that even though everything was alright now, there was something that Armaan wasn't comfortable about.. And she had noticed this since the last few days.. And whenever she confronted him about it he would somehow distract her or just make an excuse and run away.. That is what troubled her the most.. That he was hiding something from her.. Whatever it was, his fear, or his emotions, his feelings, she didn't know.. And he wasn't about to tell her.. And how could he even think that she wasn't missing him as much as he was missing her..
Armaan saw her scrutinizing him, trying to figure out what was wrong with him.. But it was nothing great.. It was just that he was missing her a lot.. If he had thought getting engaged to her would give them a license to spend more time with each other, he couldn't have been more wrong.. At least earlier they could lie and get away.. But now they could get caught in a second if they made any bahana to spend time together.. So he had to come here for breakfast and dinner.. And as if sharing her with them wasn't enough, now he had to share his time for them too.. Not that he didn't like it. In fact he loved the way Padma mom, yeah she was mom for him now, pampered him.. And it was great fun to watch Riddhima's jealous expression when he got the VVIP treatment.. But inspite of all that he was dying for a moment alone with her.. And he felt all lonely when he went home every night.. He had of course accepted the fact that this was how it was going to be till they got married.. But that didn't stop him from missing her.. But she didn't seem to miss coming home at all.. And she probably didn't have reason to, as they did technically spend time together.. So he hadn't spoken up till now.. But now it was getting unbearable.. "It shouldn't be that difficult now na Basket.. They know everything about us..", he said in response to her excuse and he continued before she could retort.. "Look Riddhima.. I like coming here.. And I love spending time with Padma mom and Dr. Shashank and naani.. But.."
"I miss you..", she completed for him..
He was surprised by that "Basket?..", he said as he looked at her questioningly while she continued, "Armaan what took you so long to tell me this.. It took you four days to decide to come and complain about what is going on..", she demanded an explanation that totally caught him off guard..
"I am not complaining Riddhima.. I am just saying that it'll be nice if.. "
But she didn't let him finish again as she said.. "Armaan.. Just tell me.. Tum mujhse baat kyun nahi karte.. Aisa lagta hai you're hiding something from me.. Or is something troubling you?.. Pehle toh tum kabhi itna adjust nahi karte the.. Especially when it came to spending time with me.. ", she accused with a frown and a glare..
He masked his discomfort with his smile as she frowned.. "So someone's missing me a lot huh.. Lagta hai jaldi.." but once again she stalled his attempts at diverting her attention.. She knew he always got away with his nautanki.. "Armaan stop changing the topic.. Tell me right now.. ", she raised her voice trying to control her emotions..
"Tell you what Basket..", .. He asked calmly..
She sighed as she calmed down a little and asked him, caressing his face.. "What are you hiding from me.."
Armaan took her hand and kissed it softly before replying.. "I am not hiding anything.. What makes you think that.. And I just didn't ask you to come home for so long coz I thought you would come on your own.. But when you didn't I realized that you genuinely couldn't make it.. But today I want you to come home coz I miss you and I cant take it anymore.. I want to spend some time with you.. Just the two of us.. Is that reason enough..", he replied honestly..
Riddhima knew he wasn't lying this time.. But his words brought on a feeling of guilt. She should've tried to go.. But she didn't even try to ask her parents.. "I am sorry Armaan.. I should've tried to come.."
He realized what he said didn't come out right.. She shouldn't be feeling guilty.."No Riddhima.. You couldn't have.. I know.. And I did not mean it that way..", she knew he didn't.. But that didn't make her feel any better..
"I miss you too Armaan.. I really do.. I love you so much..", she said, caressing his face, not taking her eyes off his..
Arman smiled at her confession and pecked her nose as he said.. "Oye hoye.. So you're coming then.."
"I'll ask papa.. ", she answered, smiling at the excitement she saw in his tired eyes..
"Really?..", he asked, grinning as he brought her closer by the waist..
"Really..", she replied, putting her arms around his waist and hiding her face in his chest..
He caressed her back as he spoke into her hair.. "So then are you going to kiss me now or later.."
She pulled out to see that naughty grin on his face as she smacked him on his back to let her go.. "Armaan.. I am not kissing you at all.. ", she said through a teasing grin..
"We'll see about that.." he challenged as he kissed her on her cheek once and then moving towards her lips.. But before he could kiss her she put her hand on his lips and pecked his nose, "Yeah we'll see.. Pehle andar chale.. Mamma's made Pav bhaji for you..", she said getting out of his hold.. He didn't let her go at first, but then gave in to her struggle and followed her as she made her way in.. "What!. Basket I don't think I have digested last night's butter chicken yet.. Yeh roz roz treat kyun.." he asked, his tone a little complaining.. It wasn't like he didn't like eating all the good stuff.. But eating it everyday was a little too much.. He wasn't used to it.. Plus he felt that his forty-five minute work out was a waste if he ate this kind of food everyday..
"Coz she loves you so much.." she replied, taking a teasing tone with him..
Armaan rolled his eyes as they walked towards the dining area.. "Yeah if she keeps loving me so much all my ripped abs will fill out and I'll have a nice big paunch.."
Riddhima stopped and turned to face him.. "Oh my god!! Then you'll be fat and bald!!.. Please tell me you're still working out everyday.. please..", she teased him only to make his mouth open in shock and protest.. "Haww.. That is so mean Basket.. So if I become fat and bald you'll stop loving me?.."
She giggled at his reaction.. "I thought only women lived in such fears.. Don't be such a girl Armaan..", she teased him again.. That irritated look on his face was worth a picture..
"Basket tumhara koi bharosa nahi hai.. You had already threatened me once that you'll dump me if I go bald.. ", he reminded her of that night they had spent in their cottage in Lonavla..
She smiled at that memory.. But before she could get lost in it, she remembered his accusation as she replied.. "And you did.. And I still didn't dump you.. How bout that.." pointing at his head..
"Hey.. I am not bald.. This is a crew cut.. And its growing back already.. At 1.25mm per day.. ", defending himself and his haircut that she always managed to irk him about.. he was irritated with her teasing now.. But she loved doing this to him.. It was not everyday that she got to tease him.. "Wow!!.. You can deny it all you want but you are bald sweetheart.. "
"No I am not.. Basket!! I am not..", he kept repeating to assert his claims..
"Fine.. Whatever.." she smiled a smug smile to end the conversation as she saw her dad was coming towards the dining table..
"Basket!!", he started to argue with her again, but Dr. Shashank's entry shut him up.. As they exchanged pleasantries, they seated themselves at the dining table for another long night.. At least it was really long for the two lovebirds who were dying to spend time with each other..
"This is excellent Padma mom.. Please teach your daughter something.. ", Armaan commented as he tasted the yummy dinner that was cooked in his honor.. Riddhima scowled as she heard his remark and kicked him under the table.. "Basket stop kicking me..", he said out loud as Padma and Dr. Shashank laughed at their blushing daughter.. Riddhima however glared even fiercely at him at her embarrassment.. "Armaan.. Tum chup chap khana nahi kha sakte.. And anyway you were the one complaining about the heavy food before dinner.. Ab chamchgiri kyun kar rahe ho?..", she almost shouted in irritation..
"Main.. When?.. When did I complain.. Why would I complain.. Haina Padma mom.. Why would I complain if I got to eat good stuff everyday..", he pretended winking at her.. He knew how to get back at her for troubling him..
"Exactly.. That is exactly what I told her Armaan.. Pata hai.. Mujhse keh rahi thi that you don't like that I make all this for you..", Padma complained to her son-in-law..
"Haaw.. Basket.. Jhooti.. Padma mom.. I think she's jealous that you give me more attention now-a-days.. But don't listen to her..", he said half grinning at Riddhima and then winking at Padma..
Padma just smiled at his remark and said.. "Well.. I know she's jealous Armaan.. But I am sure its not because I give you more attention.. Its because she doesn't get enough of it from you!", and she winked at him.. Armaan choked on his food while Riddhima turned red as she yelled.. "Stop it both of you.. I am not jealous.. Papa.. Bolo na kucch.. They're teasing me..", she whined to her dad.. He was always on her side..
Shashank looked at his daughter, smiling as she complained to him.. he couldnt say anything to his wife of course.. so he turned to his bakra.. "Armaan.. Stop teasing my daughter.. ", he said in a strict tone and Armaan almost dropped his spoon back in the plate.. "Yes.. Yes sir.. ", he stammered and looked back into his plate as Riddhima smirked at him.. Padma just giggled but stood up for Armaan, "Shashank.. Apne hone waale damaad ke saath aise baat karte hain?.. ", she mock scolded him..
"Hone waala.. Abhi tak hua nahi hai.. Meri beti ko aur pareshaan kiya toh you never know when I might change my mind..", he teased him further.. Armaan turned red around his ears, cursing his luck.. She always played unfair.. He glanced at Riddhima to see her triumphant smile and glared at her..
"So Armaan.. Aaj ki surgery kaisi thi.. ", Shashank asked him, changing the topic before they started arguing again..
"It was good sir..", Armaan said, a little wary of him, but then remembering the last few days with him he relaxed as he continued their discussion about his patient..
After the patient discussion they started talking about Sanjeevni in general.. Dr. Shashank suddenly remembered something as he asked Armaan.. "Did you speak to Dr. Shubhankar Armaan.. You know Dr. Khorana had called.. ", he reminded him.. Armaan nodded, his expression hardening as he remembered his meeting with Dr. Shubhankar this afternoon..
"Yes sir.. I spoke to him.. In fact I spoke to Dr. Khorana too..", he said a little softly, glancing at Riddhima once, but avoiding her gaze.. She didn't miss his change in expression nor the tension that had started filling up around them..
"So what do you think..", Shashank had started asking but Armaan got up.. "Uh.. I am done.. Padma mom.. Main plate andar rakh ke aata hoon..", and he looked at Dr. Shashank meaningfully and shook his head slightly in a no.. Dr. Shashank gave a small nod as he glanced at his daughter and back, and he smiled a small smile.. Riddhima stared at his retreating back as he entered the kitchen before turning to her dad, "Papa.. Kya hua?.. What is going on?.."
Shashank looked at her worried expression and thought he should tell her.. He didn't understand what the problem was.. "Nothing.. I couldn't find a replacement for Armaan.. You know..", ..
She raised her eyebrows as she heard him.. "Papa please tell me you're not sending him back.. ", she was scared to hear the answer.. He saw the fear in his eyes and at once knew why Armaan didn't want to discuss this in front of her..
"Of course not Riddhima.. I wouldn't send him back.. ", he immediately replied to calm her down..
"Then why is he not telling me what it is..", she asked him suspiciously..
"I don't know.. You ask him.. He'll tell you..", he said, not looking at her.. Padma saw that it was time to diffuse the tension so she started another topic. "Riddhima.. Stop thinking so much.. I am sure he'll tell you.. Now finish eating fast.. "
"Mamma but..", she had started, but Armaan came back as he sat next to her, "Basket.. Eat fast.. ", he almost whispered holding her hand under the table as he reminded her about their deal of going home through his eyes..
Riddhima didn't want to let the topic go, but she thought she might as well ask him when they're alone.. It was easier to blackmail him when they were alone.. Or she just had more efficient means to blackmail him.. So without another word she finished eating.. When they were done with dinner they all settled in the living room for another one of their after dinner chats.. Armaan was constantly throwing Riddhima pleading looks as her dad was telling them about some new equipment that he had ordered for the hospital.. Riddhima was just waiting for him to finish so she could ask him.. But she wondered what she should say.. And in the delay, he had started with a new topic of discussion.. Armaan sighed as Dr. Shashank started with something about the whether.. "Its really cold now-a-days.. I mean only at night.. But quite unusual for Mumbai..", he stated as Armaan nodded in agreement.. Padma joined in this conversation as she said, "Haan.. You guys should take care.. Armaan I've noticed your right hand is flaking so much.. What is wrong..", she looked at the tattoo on his right hand and it was a little red around the edges..
Armaan scrunched his eyebrows as he looked at his hand.. His tattoo was peeling.. It had stopped in the middle.. But due to the change in whether it had started peeling again.. "Mamma.. That tattoo is new na.. Its peeling don't worry.. It takes around three months to heal properly..", Riddhima answered for him.. She had noticed it earlier back and asked him.. She had been quite surprised as her tattoo had not peeled much.. But then hers was a small one.. His was a good four letters of Mandarin.., though not as big as the one on his left hand.. She wondered what he had written though.. She had tried asking him but he had not given in to her pestering.. She wondered why he was being so secretive with her now-a-days.. She had let it go then but now she was more than curious to know what he was hiding from her.. There were so many things and she only wondered if all of them were interlinked..
"Oh.. I didn't know that..", Padma smiled at them, but still looked at his tattoo warily.. She wondered why he did such things to himself, and her husband only asked her doubts aloud.. "Armaan.. I never understood why would anyone torture themselves.. draw stuff on themselves.. What sense does it make.. " Dr. Shashank had observed his hand from the distance as he made a face.. He had never been a fan of his tattoos and now that he saw what people went through to get themselves inked he couldn't help but express his disapproval aloud..
"Papa.. Stop it..", Riddhima butted in, embarrassed at the tone her dad had taken..
But Shashank knew well what kind of an equation he shared with Armaan.. And a healthy discussion about the one thing he hated about him was allowed.."Nahi Riddhima.. It looks awful.. Don't tell me you like that stuff..", he shocked her.. She couldn't believe her dad was being so politically incorrect..
"I don't like it.. I mean I do.. I mean not so much.. I mean..", she spluttered looking between her dad and Armaan.. She didn't know what the right diplomatic answer would be.. She wasn't actually a big fan herself of his tattoos.. But he was hers.. And she had accepted him with all his idiosyncrasies.. She wasn't going to stop him from doing something he likes..
Armaan noticed her dilemma and decided to intervene.. And anyway it was time he spoke about it to Dr. Shashank.. He always seemed to have a big problem with his tattoos.. He had to let him know finally that he wasn't a rogue or a druggie and that normal people also do it.. And sometimes its just for fun.. "Actually sir.. I got the first one just to see what it felt like.. Just for the kicks.. Just to be labeled as cool in college.. And of course I didn't have anyone to stop me.. So.. But then I got another one on my leg when we formed this group and all of us had the same tattoo to mark our membership.. You know..", stammering in the end as he thought he revealed too much.. And Dr. Shashank caught the gist right as he asked "You mean it was like a gang..", his tone almost condescending and smug.. He knew this guy had to have some flaw.. But Riddhima's eyes popped out at that accusation.. "Papa!!.. ", she glared at him.. But Armaan held her hand to allay her agitation.. "Basket.. He's right.. But.. I mean I was in that rebellious phase of my life.. You know.. ", he tried explaining the best he could.. Damage control!!. But Riddhima just looked at him in shock while Dr. Shashank raised his eyebrows.. Padma wasn't too comfortable having this conversation.. But Armaan continued anyway.. "Then this one on my left hand.."
"Yeah that's big and ugly..", Dr. Shashank couldn't stop himself from commenting..
"Papa what's wrong with you..", Riddhima almost got up in shocked frustration.. She was just scared that this would end up in someone getting hurt..
Armaan didn't leave her hand as he consoled her.. "Its ok Basket.. He doesn't like it.. Not many people his age do.." he said calmly.. Riddhima cooled down as she looked into his eyes that didn't have even a flicker of anger or fear otherwise.. Dr. Shashank interrupted their eye-talk as he said, "Are you calling me old Armaan.. And trust me my age has nothing to do with how ugly that thing looks on your arm..", boy was he taking advantage of his position of power or what..
"No sir.. Not like that.. I mean.. My dad wouldn't have liked it I suppose.. ", he tried to cover up the best he could.. "So.. Why did you get it then.."
"Well.. When I was doing my internship in Bangalore, I had attended a conference on cardiology in Ireland.. There I attended the Dublin Tattoo Expo and I came across this famous tattoo artist who had designed this.. i really liked it.. So I bought it from him.. I am the only one who has this now..", he finished almost proudly in the end.. Riddhima was as surprised as impressed by his story.. She didn't know about this story.. She realized there was so much about him that she didn't know.. "But I thought you got that in Goa..", she intervened before her dad could comment..
"I did.. I didn't get the tattoo done at that time.. I was there for a conference remember.. So I arranged for an appointment with him in Goa.. That's when I got this.. ", Riddhima 'Oh'ed in understanding but Dr. Shashank spoke up.. "I didn't know this was a profession.. ", condescension dripping in his tone..
"It art papa.. Body art..", Riddhima told him, her tone a little off now.. Why was he bent on creating a scene when Armaan was being so cool about it..
"Yeah whatever.. So he was the one who talked you into getting that butterfly on your ankle, didn't he..", he asked her as she defended her fiancee so much..
But this accusation Armaan refuted himself.. "No I didn't.. I tried to stop you Basket..", he reminded her, trying to push off all the blame from himself..
Riddhima shook her head as she smiled at his childish behavior.. "Papa.. I wanted to do this since the time I was in college.. But I was scared of your reaction.. I thought it was really cool then.. Many of my friends had tattoos.. You know.. But when I actually got it, I realized its not that big a deal.. I mean, I love it.. But I would certainly not think of getting another one.." she made a face..
"You just cant bear the pain..", Armaan teased her and she retorted.. "Shut up Armaan.. Its not that.."
But Dr. Shashank was curios now.. He liked the fact that Armaan was being honest with him.. And though he still didn't like his tattoos, he found it surprisingly interesting as to how he could so easily balance his fun and work.. Something he had struggled to do throughout his life.. Not that he considered body art as fun, but still.. "So what's with the latest Mandarin one Armaan.. Why did you get that one.. " he asked, intrigued by it.. This was not a drawing but something written..
But Armaan was uncomfortable at that question of his and for the first time during this discussion he faltered, "Just like that.. I didn't have anything to do.. So I just.. You know.. "
Shashank looked at him suspiciously unable to believe his stammering reply.. "So it doesn't mean anything.. You just let them write something random on your arm.."
"Haan Armaan.. What does that mean anyway.. Tumne mujhe bhi nahi bataya..", Riddhima butt in.. She knew this was one opportunity to find out what it was..
"Uh.. Phir kabhi baat karenge na Riddhima.. I am getting late and I have some work to finish.. Reports and all..", he declared as he got up to leave.. Riddhima scrunched her eyebrows in frustration.. Why was he doing this to her.. But she couldn't say anything as he dad said, "You're right.. Its late.. Chalo.. Goodnight.."
But she was determined to fish this out of him now.. She didn't like this secretive Armaan.. Why would he hide things from her.. But how would she talk to him.. That's when she remembered about their plan.. And she was more eager now than ever to go back to their place and talk to him once and for all..
As Armaan started for the door with her parents following him to say a goodnight she said.. "uh.. Papa.. Armaan and me were thinking of going for ice-cream..", that was the best bahana she could make up..
Armaan looked at her curiously first and then realized what she was doing, "Yeah.. Dr. Shashank .. We were thinking of going for an ice cream..", he supported her.. Shashank looked at the two of them and then smiled enthusiastically saying, "That's a great idea.. Padma chalo lets go.. Kitne din ho gaye hain we havent gone out for an ice-cream.. "
Armaan and Riddhima looked at each other and then at her father, cursing their fate and his lack of foresight.. Did he really not see it or was he pretending not to..
Padma was smarter.. "Rehne dijiye na Shashank.. I don't feel like going right now.. Let them go.."
"Common Padma.. Mazza aayega..", and he didn't listen to any of her protests as he dragged her out and to the car.. Naani had gone off to sleep early so she didn't join them.. Armaan and Riddhima forced smiles as they had their ice-creams wondering if they would ever get an opportunity to spend some alone time with each other.. She really wanted to talk to him, get some answers.. While he would just be happy if she gave him a little time.. But it wasn't meant to be.. Not tonight anyway..
She got up early inspite of the cold.. And as much as she would love to snuggle up into her blanket and dream on about him she couldn't.. In fact she didn't sleep well at all unlike the last few nights when she wove beautiful dreams about him and their future.. But today she had been disturbed by his weird behavior.. She had tried ignoring it, hoping he would come around, or trying to convince herself that she was imagining it.. But after last night, it was too much for her to take.. She realized that she had to take time out for him, talk to him and build that trust between them that had made him confide his deepest secrets in her.. But this time apart she realized had unknowingly brought that distance between them.. But she wasn't going to take it anymore.. She wasn't going to waste any time.. So she formulated this plan in her head as she freshened up a little and put on her favorite red sweatshirt on her black track pants and spaghetti top that she was already wearing.. Taking her car keys and wallet from her bag she almost ran down the stairs.. She peeked into the kitchen and saw her mom making tea and her dad reading the newspaper at the counter.. "Mamma I am going to the beach for a jog.. ", she informed.. And she turned around immediately before they asked her more questions.. But before she could get out of sight her dad called out, "Beta its just 6:00.. Accha ruko main bhi aata hoon.. I'll just change.." Riddhima cringed in frustration at her annoying father.. Why couldn't he leave her alone!!..
But her mom understood her plight as she too felt they needed to spend some time together.. "Shashank.. Maine aapki chai rakhi hai.. Don't go for a jog right now.. Thodi der baad chale jaana.. Riddhima beta.. You go ahead..", Riddhima smiled at her mom as she mouthed a 'thanks' and ran out before her dad could come up with a new excuse to play the famous 'kabaab mein haddi' that he was so expertly essaying..
She drove fast, now in a hurry to see him.. Though her main agenda for the drop in was to interrogate him she couldn't help but feel excited.. Finally she was going to have him all to herself..
"Armaan.. ", she called out his name in the living room, her voice shaking a little.. She had entered the house without ringing the bell as usual.. She thought he must be sleeping still so she tiptoed to his room and opened the door slowly trying not to make any noise.. But she almost flipped when she saw the state of disarray in the room.. It was almost the same like she had left it on Sunday morning.. His bag still on the floor, a few of his shirts still in it.. Her dupatta was on the bed however, and surprisingly, he wasn't in it.. She checked the bathroom to see if he was up already, but he wasn't there either.. The panic setting in slowly as she moved out of the room to the kitchen only to find him absent there too.. Now she was positively scared as she hunted for him in his gym and then in all his spare rooms but didn't find him in any.. Finally she took to calling his name.. She was really scared.. This place felt so deserted and dead without him in it.. Her eyes almost welled up as she didn't get any response to her call.. Then it struck her that she should probably call him up.. Maybe he was out for a jog or a game of Basketball.. But worry took over again when he didn't take her call.. It was ringing at the other end but he wasn't answering.. She decided to look all over the place again, her tears almost about to roll out of her eyes.. She looked even in the back garden this time.. Then she realized there was one place she had not checked.. She almost ran up the stairs to the terrace at that realization and when she found him sprawled there, her tears gave away, but a smile adored her face.. She steadied her racing heart and hitched breathing as she clutched onto that diamond heart that she was still wearing around her neck.. As her heart returned to normal she went closer to see him sleep in an awkward position, still in the same clothes as last night, his laptop open by his side, his glasses askew.. And from the way he was clutching the cushion to himself she knew he was feeling cold.. Suddenly it hit her how cold it was.. It was a chilly winter morning and Armaan was sleeping on the terrace!!.. And just like that her relief suddenly turned into anger as she went up to him and sat beside him, "Armaan!!.. Armaan get up!!", she leashed out..
When he didn't get up she took off his glasses and slapped him lightly, "Get up Armaan!!.. Tum terrace pe kya kar rahe ho?.. Why arent you in bed.. And why are you not answering your damn phone.. And why in the world are you not wearing warm clothes.. " Armaan suddenly sat up straight as he heard her strict tone, but was left disoriented when he saw her there.. He couldn't understand what she was saying.. Slowly he got back to the world as he frowned, "Basket.. Subah subah chilla kyun rahi ho yaar.. ", and he just pulled her to him and hugged her tight, resting his head on her shoulder.. He just shut his eyes as he felt warm in her embrace.. Riddhima was however, irritated with his careless and irresponsible behavior, "Armaan.. Leave me.. ", she slapped his back and tried to pull out..
"Basket please.. Its so cold.. Lemme sleep for five minutes..", he requested as he snuggled hiding his face in the crook of her neck.. But she was much to irritated with him.. "Yeh sab kya hai Armaan?.. Why are you on the terrace.. Its so cold.. Tum bemaar pad jaoge.. Blanket bhi nahi hai.. And you didn't even change.. And Armaan you werent even taking my calls.. ", god she was unstoppable!!!.. Armaan who had hoped she would shut up in some time got irritated at her continuous chapad chapad and pulled out as he scowled, "Oh for god sake.. Shut up Basket!!.. Why are you so frustrated early in the morning.. "
"You are asking me this Armaan!!.. Look at you.. You are on the.."
"Terrace.. I know.. So what..", he asked as he let go of her and stood up..
"Its so cold..", she said lamely as she stood up to face him.. Armaan sighed as he saw her frown and said softly.. "I slept off Basket.. I was working here.. And I dozed off..", he held her from behind and kissed her hair lightly..
But she turned around in his hold and confronted him.. "You think I am stupid don't you.. I saw the state of your room.. clearly you have not been sleeping in there.. "
"Aisa kucch nahi hai.. Mujhe wahan neend nahi aati.. " he said, looking away from her..
"Toh tum terrace pe sote ho?", she demanded, folding her hands across her chest, her forehead creased in frustration..
"Nahi Riddhima.. Main terrace pe baith kar kaam karta hoon.. Kabhi kabhi neend lag jaati hai..", he explained to her calmly, dragging his words to convince her..
But she got more irritated.. Why would you work on the terrace in the cold when you have such a big house and so many rooms.. "Tum paagal ho kya Armaan.. Pehle neeche chalo.. Then I'll see you.. " she threatened, pulling him by his hand as another cold gust of wind sent shivers down her.. She couldn't imagine how he was so unaffected and that without even a sweater or a jacket..
"Basket my laptop.. I'll just.."
"I'll take it.. And please switch off the silent mode on your phone Armaan.. It just renders it useless.." and she continuously berated him till they reached his room.. Everything had accumulated.. All the frustration of him hiding things, his disappearing act, his stupidity.. And all that was coming out now.. He tried to mollify her, but that just seemed to tick her off even more.. But when she didn't seem to stop he finally raised his voice.. "Basket.. Stop it yaar.. Why are you so angry.. "
"Then what should I do Armaan.. " she raised her voice too, but she was on the verge of tears again, "You are so stupid.. You do such idiotic things.. Look at this room.. Its such a mess.."
"Basket.. You're mad at me coz my room's a mess?..", he interrupted her, wary of her outburst.. He couldn't understand what had brought this on.. And she just riled up at his interruption even more as those tears finally gushed out "No Armaan.. I am mad at you coz You are such a mess!!.. Why are you doing this to yourself Armaan.. Tum pehle toh aise nahi the.. I am feeling like I am losing you.. "
Armaan was stunned by her break down and without thinking twice he rushed to her, "Basket.. I am sorry.. Ok..please don't cry.. I am really sorry.. I promise I'll do what you say.. ", and he took her in his arms.. And she willingly clung on to him as she buried her face in his chest and let all her frustration out.. "Riddhima.. Kya hua hai.. Why are you crying.. What did I do now?..", but she didn't reply.. She just continued to cry in his embrace.. Slowly the security returned as she felt his presence.. But she didn't let him go even after she finished with her crying session.. Armaan was still wondering what in the world brought this on.. But as he felt her lips on his chest he nuzzled her hair, bringing her closer into him, hiding himself in her hair.. All her plans of yelling at him went out the window as he took her in his arms.. That is one thing that had not change.. That would probably never change.. His proximity always left her clueless and lost.. And she just gave in to him every time.. Like this time when his nuzzling turned into kissing, moving down to her neck now, as he pulled her up.. He lost himself in her as usual, moving her hair out of his way as he placed soft kisses down her neck.. The feeling of his cold lips on her warm skin sent the heat rising up her, making her feel all hot now.. He moved closer into her as he felt her hands cloying at his back through his shirt, involuntarily asking for more.. But her sweatshirt was not allowing him any access whatsoever.. So he crept one hand up to find the zipper, still kissing her, now moving to her throat and down.. As she felt him zip her sweatshirt down her front, she suddenly realized what he was up to.. Half shying and half angry she quickly let go of him and tried to move apart.. "Armaan..", she whispered breathing heavily, turning beetroot red, reprimanding herself in her head of losing her focus.. She reminded herself of her purpose for the visit as she priced his hand that held her away from her waist.. He was brought out of his happy place the moment she moved away from him.. He saw what he thought was her embarrassment and smiled, pulling her back to him.. This time looking into her eyes as he caressed her face and placed a small kiss on her forehead.. He knew she wanted this, but for some reason was trying to resist him.. But he was going to test her resistance, well aware of the effect he had on her.. So he pecked the tip of her nose he moved down to her lips.. But before he could claim them she looked away.. "Armaan.. Don't try to get smart.. I am still mad at you..", she said, avoiding his gaze, lest she loses her senses again.. He scrunched his nose as he heard her.. "Fine.. Are you going to tell me why..", he asked her as she got out of his hold..
"Why should I ? Do you tell me anything?.. ", she asked him, frowning a little.. Armaan raised his eyebrows at her weird answer.. He knew there was some talking to do now.. So he led her to the couch, and she moved very reluctantly.. When she wasn't ready to let go, he just pulled her down with him as they almost fell on the couch.. "Armaan!!.. Kya kar rahe ho?.", she screeched as she smacked him hard on his arm..
"Basket.. Seriously what is with your mood.. PMS?..", he asked her genuinely with a frown..
"Armaan!!", she glared at him, going red as he smiled and said, "What?.. Just asking.." but even through her embarrassment, she cross-checked in her head and then as an afterthought she added, "Maybe.. What date is it?.. Yeah. Actually.. ", she agreed as she did her mental math, her forehead creasing as her mind got to calculating.. Armaan smiled at that and kissed her lightly on the cheek, pulling her closer on his lap.. "I love you..", he declared softly.. She heard him and looked into his eyes.. And the moment she did that she forgot to look away.. As usual she was entranced by those blue eyes that always said more than what his words did.. But she couldn't find the answers that she wanted from him in them clearly.. She was confused.. His eyes never lied, and yet now they had learnt to.. She could see no confusion, no problem whatsoever in them, that she had come looking for.. What she saw was just love.. Immeasurable love.. And it was only for her..
"I love you too..", she declared in return and leaned in on him, resting her ear against his heart.. He caressed her back slowly, placing light kisses on her hair, while she listened to his heart after so long.. He knew this calmed her down the most.. He had missed this too.. Missed her so much.. More than he was letting her know.. And that is why probably she has been so agitated lately.. He wasn't doing a good job of hiding his feelings from her.. Either that, or she could totally see through him, and she was the only one in this world who could.. But he really didn't want to bother her with his feelings.. He had done that enough already.. And she had been with him through it all.. But now it was his turn.. He had given her enough pain and had vowed to never hurt her again.. This relationship was going to be about her now.. Not about him.. And he would have to do a better job of not letting her see through him.. Especially when all that he was hiding from her was extremely embarrassing for him.. It would not only worry her but he would feel so stupid sharing it with her.. It was totally not needed.. He could deal with this on his own.. He was sure he would get over it sooner than later.. And to think of it, she wouldn't be able to help him even if he did tell her.. She would probably just feel guilty and that he didn't want at all.. So he was going to stick to his plan and just make everyday as beautiful for her as possible.. And it wasn't a good thing that she had cried early in the morning and that too because of him.. "Basket.. Kya hua.. Aren't you going to tell me why you mad at me?.." he asked her finally.. She pulled out to look at him "I am not mad at you Armaan.. I was just worried.. I came home and did not find you anywhere.. It all felt so.. So.."
"Empty..", he said without thinking.. Then realizing he covered, "I am sorry Basket.. I did not know you were coming.. Waise how did you come.. Dr. Shashank allowed you.. Or did you run away..", he asked, trying to make light the tension that was starting to build up..
"I told him I am going for a jog..", she answered him, but her mind was still stuck in that moment a few moments ago when she has seen that emptiness flash in his eyes as it slipped off his tongue..
But Armaan was bent on maintaining a cheerful atmosphere early this morning.. "Oh.. So we're back at lying huh.. Nice.. I like.. I like..", he grinned as he pulled her closer.. "So.. What do you want to do?..", he asked, his tone teasingly husky as he put her hair behind her ear and nuzzled his nose with hers..
"Armaan.. Lets talk..", she said seriously only to make him groan, "Oh no.. You came to talk.. Tch.. Basket you are really boring.. "
"Armaan!.. I am serious.. ", she said, looking straight into his eyes.. He knew then that he couldn't avoid this talk as much as he wanted to.. "Fine.. What do you want to talk about.. ", he gave in, even though he had some idea as to what this talk may involve..
"Ok.. Firstly.. Why were you on the terrace.. And why is this room such a mess..", she asked him frowning a little as she glanced around at the room.. Armaan smiled at her expression, "I am sorry.. I'll clean it up.. Ok.."
"No Armaan.. Its not about cleaning it.. You were never like this before.. And clearly you have not been sleeping here.. What is going on?..", she raised her voice as she finished.. He was doing that again.. Beating around the bush so that he could avoid her questions..
"Nothing is going on Riddhima.. I have a lot to work..", he couldn't help his tone in his exasperation..
But Riddhima was not about to buy that.. "Don't give me that bullshit Armaan.. You can work in this room too.. ", she said, trying to get away from him, clearly irritated by his lying ways..
"Listen.. Its my house.. I can work wherever I like alright..", he asserted, not letting her go, looking straight into her eyes..
She looked back at him and saw that determination.. He wasn't going to reveal anything he didn't want to.. "Armaan.. Why are you doing this.. This is not normal.. ", she asked, defeated by him..
"Riddhima.. I know.. This is not normal.. You come home after four days and start arguing with me is not normal at all.. Cant you let this go.. So I slept on the terrace big deal..", he tried to reason with her.. He had his reasons.. But why was she so keen on ruining the day..
"Of course not.. Its not a big deal at all.. Its so cold Armaan.. And you weren't even wearing a jacket.. You'll fall sick.. But of course its no big deal.. ", sarcasm oozing out of every word she spoke.. Armaan rolled his eyes at that.. "Ok sorry.. I wont do that again.. Is that ok.. "
She was caught off guard at his thanda reply.. "No its not..", she looked away.
Armaan made a face at that. "What.. Basket. We live in Mumbai.. Not Moscow.. Its not that cold..", he tried reasoning with her again..
"Armaan.. As far as I know, it is pretty cold, and especially at night.. Normal human beings feel cold.. At least I do.."
"Basket.. You're forgetting I am not human.. We don't feel that cold.. Us people from Krypton..", he grinned and winked at her.. She rolled her eyes at his Superman references.. When was he going to grow up..
"Armaan.. I am not joking.."
"Nor am I.. Now if you don't believe me what can I do.. I can show you my cape and costume.. In India they call me SupArmaan!!..", and he chortled, guffawing uncontrollably at his own joke..
But Riddhima was hardly amused.. Fuming at his facetious behavior she scowled as she tried to get up from his lap.. "Ok that's it.. I am done.. Main hi pagal hoon jo papa ko jhoot kehkar tumse milne aayi.. You go save the world!!", and she stomped her foot before turning towards the door.. But Armaan caught her hand and stopped her from going as he said, "Basket.. I am sorry.. Fine I will wipe out all your memory with my powers and you wont even remember that I have any superpower whatsoever.."
"Armaan!!", she smacked him on his hand as she took her hand out of his grip.. His flippancy was getting to her now.. Giving him a murderous glare she walked towards the door to go back home, cursing him under her breath.. Armaan followed her quickly and held her back again before she could get out of the room.. Turning her around to face him, he trapped her against the door.. "Armaan. Lemme go..", she said, her clenched jaw, telling him that he had tested her patience now.. "I am sorry..", he apologized quickly, not the hint of a joke in his voice.. But she was really mad at him now.. "I don't want to talk to you.. Lemme go..", she raised her voice glaring him down.. "And what if I don't.. ", he asked defiantly, coming closer to her..
"Armaan.. Enough.. Please mujhe jaane do.. Sanjeevni ke liye late ho raha hai..", she said, softening her stance a little, his proximity taming her down..
Armaan knew he had cooled her a little so he didn't waste this opportunity to seek her forgiveness.. "Riddhima.. I am sorry.. No more mazak ok.. Jo tum kaho hum who karenge.. Is that ok..", he buttered her up.. Her eyes widened in interest at that offer of his, "Jo main kahun who?..", she asked him, confirming his claim..
"Yeah..", he smiled and hugged her kissing her under her ear once as she hugged him back.. "Ok.. So tell me what were you telling papa yesterday.. About Dr. Shubhankar.. ", she asked him warily, caressing his back, hoping he doesn't flip at her question..
Armaan sighed as he heard her question.. He knew this was coming.. He parted from her and looked into her eyes.. "Its Nothing Riddhima.."
She scowled at his answer.. "See.. Phir jhoot.. If its nothing why are you hiding it from me..", she demanded..
He let her go, frustrated by her persistence.. "I am not hiding it.. I just don't want to bother you..", he said finally..
"Everything that bothers you bothers me Armaan..", she said softly, caressing his face.. But he took her hand off his face, pulling her closer by the waist "Stop being so filmy Riddhima.. And I am not bothered by it at all.. But I know you will be.. Let me handle this on my own.. Please.." Riddhima saw it in his eyes.. He wasn't going to tell her.. She knew he was stubborn.. But there were so many insecurities that she lived through now-a-days and the biggest one of them was him going back to that god foresaken place.. After their engagement they had not talked about all that happened at all.. As a matter of fact they didn't get time to.. Even when they did mention it in passing they avoided talking of that painful time away.. Now that she thought of it, it was always Armaan who avoided the topic, changing the subject the moment anyone mentioned that time.. "Armaan.. Are you going back there.. You know.. ", she hesitated as she asked her fear out loud.. It was an unspoken agreement between them not to say that 'S' word.. He knew she freaked out even at the mention and he wasn't fond of remembering his time there either.. "What.. No.. No I am not..", he said immediately, not knowing how to console her.. He knew she lived in that fear and he had to convince her that he would never do that to her again.. "Basket I promise you I am not.. Really..", he said, looking at her with a confident promise in his eyes.. She saw that he wasn't lying, not a hint of doddering decision, "Good.. Coz even if you were planning on going, I would never let you go.." and she hugged him satisfied that at least her fears were unreasonable..
"I wouldn't go Riddhima.. Even if you told me to, I wouldn't..", he assured, more to himself than to her as he held her tighter to himself..
"Then what is it Armaan..", she asked, pulling out to look at him..
He frowned as she got back to her original pestering.. "Basket please.. Just let it go ok.. I am taking care of it.. I'll tell you after I sort it out..", he looked away, irritated by her now.. She realized she was pushing her luck.. If he had decided not to tell her, then he wouldn't.. She could find it out her self.. But that didn't stop her from using this opportunity to get something else that she was dying to know out of him.. "Fine.. I will let it go.. But only if you answer me first..", she negotiated with him smartly..
He rolled his eyes as he heard her business like offer.. "Now what.."
"What does that tattoo mean.. Tum papa ko nahi bata sakte.. Mujhe toh bata do..", she asked fast, before he interrupted her.. Armaan grinned as he played with her hair that was falling on her eyes again, not looking at her when he answered.. "Basket.. Why are you so nosy.. Tattoo mere haath pe hai.. Tumhara kya ja raha hai.."
Riddhima gaped at him, shocked by his answer.. "What do you mean mera kya ja raha hai.. I have to live with it for the rest of my life.. Uper se I don't even like it.. I should at least know what that ugly thing means.. What if some one asks me..", she complained making a face.. Armaan's expression matched hers when he heard her answer "Excuse me.. Uh.. Did I hear ugly.. What!!" His glare made her look away as she smiled a naughty smile at his reaction "Well.. I admit.. I am not that big a fan of your tattoos.. They make you look wild.."
And she enjoyed his expressions as the scowl that followed the shock took over.. "What.. You don't like them.. I thought you did..", but as soon as he left her and moved away in agitation, she held his hand and pulled him back to her.. "Its not that Armaan.. Its just that..", but they didn't seem to let each other complete their sentences as he cut her this time "No Basket.. Now toh I am not going to tell you what it is at all.. ", he declared childishly..
She smacked his arm, complaining to him.. "Armaan that's not fair.. Tell me what it is right now.."
He grinned at her desperation.. "Basket if I wanted everyone to know what it is I wouldn't have chosen Mandarin.. I would just write it in 'Devnagri' or the English alphabet.. Itni takleef nahi deta na main uss Cheeni ko.."
"Armaan.. I am not everyone.. Tell me what it is..", she tried threatening him with her murderous glare.. He became serious at her threat as he nodded.. "Ok. I am not supposed to tell you this.. But since you are going to be my wife I have to let this secret out to you.. But you have to promise not to tell this to anyone..", he said seriously, going closer to her, his voice barely audible.. She nodded a yes, promising him, waiting with bated breath for him to continue.. "Basket.. Actually This is the message my father gave me when he rocketed me to earth from Krypton.. This message will save the world..", she stared at him a few seconds processing his words.. Then realizing his idiotic joke she scowled, as she screamed "Armaan!!" and he burst out laughing at her screech.. "Sorry.. Sorry.. You should have seen your face.. Oh god!" and he continued to laugh as she tried to get out of his hold and he restrained her further, clamping her wrists against the door behind her with his hands.. " Armaan.. I hate you..", she declared dramatically in her rage..
"I know..", he grinned at her as she struggled against his hold..
"Armaan don't do this.. Either let me go or tell me what it is..", she said, a finality in her tone as she stopped struggling..
"Find out yourself Basket.. I am not telling you..", he teased her, kissing her ear as he did..
"Armaan..", she whined.. "Tell me na..please.."
He grinned looking at her "Fine.. I will.. But only if I get something in return..", he played her game back on her..
"What do you want..", she asked him, knowing very well it wasn't going to be an innocent request..
"My good morning kiss..", he quipped without wasting any time.. She sighed as she heard that.. It was exactly what she had predicted.. Then she thought about it for a second.. She wanted to kiss him anyway.. And she would also find out about his tattoo in the process.. It was the best deal ever.. But she couldn't let him know that.. So she looked at him, and said, "It's a deal..", in a very business-like manner only to make him grin.. He was sure once they started kissing, she wouldn't even remember her name, let alone the damn tattoo..
Taking her face in his hands, he joined his lips with hers, kissing her tender lips as she trembled in his hold, but steadied soon enough as he caressed her waist, freeing her hands from his hold.. She knew if she responded she would not be able to stop and he would have the upper hand.. But in that moment when she felt his lips prodding hers she couldn't stop herself and gave in.. Her hands went around his neck, pulling him closer, kissing him back with equal fervor.. And they lost their way soon, as the passion that had not been allowed to surface in the last few days made its way out.. His hands went around her waist inside her sweatshirt and slowly slipped under her top as he felt her skin.. That's when he realized, she realized , that they had craved for this touch for so long.. She clutched onto the back of his shirt as she felt his hands on her bare skin sending shivers down her that had nothing to do with the cold whether at all.. When she pulled out for air, he just went down to her neck, placing soft but fervent kisses across the blade of her shoulder, this time not restricted by her sweatshirt that he had opened down her front.. Riddhima thought she'd lose her mind.. Her head was not in the right state, she didn't know whether it was his passion or the lack of oxygen, coz she was finding it very difficult to breathe.. But her body reciprocated every touch of his as she caressed his nape, her hand going down his back inside his shirt this time, exploring his back.. Every touch of theirs on each other had a heightened effect as this was the first time they were actually making out after almost a month or more.. And what they had gone through in that time had made these feelings dormant.. But this unexpected loss of control was probably going to lead to something much more than they were ready for..
"Armaan..", she gasped as he left a mark on her chest in his ardor.. Normally she would have clutched his hair, but due to the obvious lack of it, she tugged on to his shirt.. But that hardly made any difference to him, as he continued his kissing, lost in his own world, not aware of what was and what should be going on.. Riddhima shut her eyes in pleasure as his kissing and caressing were driving her insane, her body leaning back on the door and his leaning on hers.. And Armaan's passion was fueled by the fact that Riddhima was egging him on, using her hands well, knowing exactly what effect it has on him.. And he completely lost it when he felt her hands unbuttoning his shirt, trying desperately to feel his skin.. He got back to kiss her lips, deep in his passion, supporting her weight by holding her around the waist and led her back towards the couch.. In the meantime Riddhima had managed to get her hands in his shirt and had no clue that she had ambulated across the room.. "I love you Riddhima..", he said between the kiss as he pulled her down on the couch with him.. But she didn't say anything, just kissed him back and how!! Riddhima was out of her mind and on top of him now, kissing him down his throat to his chest.. He pulled her closer, caressing her waist, asking her for more.. And she complied without a hold back as she continued her passionate kissing.. The entire world had ceased to exist for them in this moment.. Love, secrets, separation, pain, tattoos!.. Blah blah.. They all seemed like just words.. This loss of control was what they wanted, what they needed, and there was no getting it back.. Not when they had lost it after such a long time..
"Riddhima.. What took you so long.. You'll get late.. And where is Armaan.. Next time usse bhi saath le aana..", Dr. Shashank was at the breakfast table all ready to leave when he saw her sneak into the house and across the hall.. But he caught her right before she could run up the stairs..
"Papa.. What are you..", she started, surprised by her father's remark.. And as soon as she heard Armaan's name she turned a deep red feeling all hot around her collar..
Shashank smiled at the confused look on her face, "Your mom gave me a 45 minute lecture today morning beta.. I am sorry.. I will never interfere when you and Armaan decide to have ice cream.."
Riddhima's mouth opened in shock as she heard him tease her.. "Papa.. Aisa nahi hai..", she said looking down and blushing more than she already was..
"Its ok Riddhima.. Itna sharma mat.. Inhe saaf shabdon mein batana padta hai.. He's a little slow..", her mom came out of the kitchen as she handed her husband his lunch tiffin.. She had caught on with their conversation..
"Mamma..", she almost shouted in embarrassment.. She crossed her arms around her front as she made sure her sweatshirt was chained right up to her chin.. Why was everyone, including herself, ready to embarrass her since morning..
"So I guess Armaan wont come for breakfast.. Late ho gaya na.. Kucch zyada hi jogging ho gayi.. Kal se time ka bhi dhyaan rakhna..", she teased her again.. And this time it was too much for Riddhima to take as she ran up the stairs in her embarrassment, leaving her parents chuckling to themselves in the living room..
As soon as she entered her room she shut the door and leaned back, trying to calm herself down and not think about what happened half an hour ago.. But her mind had sprouted a mind of its own.. And she had no control over it.. But then the tick of the clock reminded her of how she was short on time and so very reluctantly, she got to the job of getting ready, his thoughts not leaving her mind for even a second.. She had a bath without paying much attention to what she was doing and then picked some suit from her wardrobe and put it on absentmindedly.. As she took her dupatta and got to brushing her hair, she glanced once in the mirror and was horrified by what she saw.. The perpetual blush that had no intentions of ever leaving her, deepened even more as she gazed at her reflection, which showed her marked by his passionate love.. Pulling her dupatta down at that, she recollected those moments , her brow breaking a sweat, her breath hitching, at just the thought.. But for that seven 'o clock alarm of his, she would probably be still with him and at a place that she had least expected to be when she had left her room this morning.. She shuddered to think of the consequences otherwise. It was so sudden and so intense she wondered if she would be able to bear being in his presence after what happened today.. She heard her mom call her from downstairs and she jerked out of her reverie.. She would have to worry about that later.. Right now it was more important to make it on time to Sanjeevni.. But on an afterthought she felt like bunking today.. She reprimanded herself for thinking like that.. 'You are not in college for godsake!!', she reminded herself.. 'And he's only Armaan.. My Armaan. Nothing to be embarrassed about..' She consoled herself.. She almost heard a scoff at that thought.. 'then why did you run away..', that voice in her mind asked her, making her nervous again..
"Riddhima.. Why are you wearing this..", her mom asked her curiously..
But she avoided eye contact as she almost ran out of the house, "I am late mamma.. And its really cold today.. " she sighed as her mom didn't follow her out for more questions about the black turtleneck she was wearing today.. But her relief was short-lived as she saw him standing there next to his car.. Her heart lost its count and rhythm the moment she saw him wearing a black t-shirt today instead of his front-open shirts.. And her nervousness was not on account of the fact that he looked so hot in it, but due to the fact that she knew the precise reason for his change in wardrobe.. "Hi..", he broke the silence, giving her a nervous glance.. "Hi..", she returned his greeting, looking everywhere but at him..
"Why.. I mean.. How.. I mean.. What are you doing here?..", she asked him when he didn't say anything.. Besides they were running late.. "Uh.. I came to pick you up.. Sanjeevni jaana hai..", he said, opening the door of his car for her to get in..
Riddhima stepped forward, but said anyway, "You didn't have to come.." her blush not leaving her face even momentarily.. She would rather have gone on her own than face this torture..
Armaan heard her and chuckled, "Yeah.. I know I can fly to Sanjeevni.. Unfortunately you cant.. You're not SupArmaan.. Remember.."
She looked up at him as she heard him repeat that lame joke the second time this morning.. For a moment they looked into each others' eyes and the next moment both burst out laughing.. "Armaan.. You're such a dolt..", she said as she laughed, hiding her blushing face in one hand.. "Ok.. Sorry..", he said and took her in his arms, hugging her tight as she continued to blush in his embrace hiding her face in his chest now.. "Basket.. Why did you run away..", he finally asked her when he had stopped grinning to himself..
"Coz I was embarrassed..", she confided, mumbling into his chest..
"Yeah well.. It was embarrassing.. We went a little overboard didn't we..", he asked pulling her out to face her.. he knew whatever happened, he had not expected at all.. and he could relate to what she was feeling.. the only difference was he was shameless and she wasnt.. but the good part, at least for him, was that she had completely forgotten about her third degree interrogation that she had subjected him to..
When she still didn't look at him and just nodded in response.. "I am sorry.. I just lost myself.. Woh tumhe bohot miss kiya na..", he tried to make a valid excuse.. But Riddhima as usual was very uncomfortable discussing the issue, "Armaan.. We're getting late.. And please.. Tum sorry mat bolo.. It wasn't just you..", she managed before she got into the car, avoiding his eye completely.. He grinned at his shy Basket and his heart skipped a beat at the color her cheeks had taken.. And what was more exciting was that he was the one and only reason for it..
"You forgot your phone..", he returned it to her as he took his seat behind the wheel..
"Thanks.. ", she took it back and put it in her bag..
"And you forgot your wallet..", she looked at him grinning at her embarrassment as she accepted that too with a thanks and put it in her bag.. "Ab chale..", she said, looking straight ahead.. He nodded and, "Ghar ki chabi..", he dangled the key in front of her still giving her that naughty grin.. She snatched it out of his hand and mumbled a thanks before looking out the window, unable to control the smile that was curling her lips..
As he finally drove out the gate and onto the road, he quipped, "Waise Basket.. Nice t-shirt..", and winking at her once he turned to the road ahead.. and all she could say was, "Armaan..", and slap him slightly on his arm.. She only wondered if blushing so much was normal for a human being.. But that she wasn't going to discuss with him, lest he label her as 'Supergirl' or 'Wonderwoman'.. She chuckled silently at her own joke, but then frowned, classifying it as majorly lame.. 'He's rubbing off on you', her mind told her.. 'And not literally', it quipped, only to make her blush again..
Riddhima had just finished her duty in the OPD and was headed towards the canteen for lunch.. As she walked down the corridors the staff gave her the weird stares that she had been getting from morning.. She couldn't believe her denims and turtleneck were attracting so much attention.. Why were people so interested in what she chose to wear.. But then she agreed that it was far from her normal work attire and they hardly ever got to see her in clothes like these in the hospital.. But today she had no choice.. At that thought she turned pink again, flushing at the memory that sent her heart racing.. Muskaan had probably even guessed why she was wearing what she was and had not missed a chance to tease her about it.. Since the time she had come to Sanjeevni this was the one thing she was conscious about.. So much that she had not given much thought to all the questions that were hounding her about his weird behavior.. But that didn't mean that she had forgotten about them.. And now she was determined to find it out herself, coz it was futile asking him.. She had tried doing that on their way to Sanjeevni but he had cracked a few more jokes about their embarrassing make out session and had shut her up.. So she had given up on him.. She didn't want them to end up on the couch again with their hands in each others' clothes.. She cringed at that thought, and embarrassment was not even the beginning of what she was feeling.. And more so coz she had lost practice of the nonchalance that they had mastered every time they made out.. But then again, he almost always knew where to draw the line, which today they conveniently had crossed.. Maybe he was out of practice too.. And on top of that her parents were teasing her.. Only if they knew what she had been up to.. Apparently jogging!.. She just thanked her stars that her dad had not seen her wearing this to work today as she carefully avoided going anywhere near his cabin.. After that 45 min lecture today morning, she was sure he was well equipped to put two and two together.. And that complication was what she didn't need at all at this moment.. She was really keen to find out about Armaan's problems.. So she had gone and asked her Di, since she was in admin if she knew anything about Armaan's association with the hospital in Singapore.. But she didn't know anything.. In fact she had just handed her his official appointment letter to pass on to him.. That had partially satisfied her, but her curiosity was getting the better of her.. For the time being, however, she let it go.. He would tell her later anyway, she thought.. But this was not her only problem.. He had not told her anything about his tattoo as well.. So she had taken a picture of his tattoo in her cell phone to find out herself.. He had been quite amused when she told him that she was taking it to one of her patient's mom, Rikhia, for translation, who she knew had worked in China for sometime and was quite well versed with the language.. He had just smirked at her, saying she was wasting her time.. But this was her best bet.. She had emailed the photo to Rikhia for her to translate and now was going to ask her if she had made any sense out of it.. She called her up, "Hey.. Any luck with the translation?..". She asked her eagerly.. Her friend smiled at her desperation and said, "Not really Dr. Gupta.. Actually, I don't recognize this word at all.. I tried the dictionary, but it doesn't have any word that looks like this one.. That means it is a recently translated word or sentence, I don't know.. But it is a jointed word and the last half letter, reads love.."
"Love..", Riddhima asked, her eyes lighting up.. Though she didn't know what exactly it was at least she knew that it had something to do with love.. And she could bet that when it came to Armaan and Love she wasn't far behind.. She smiled at that as Rikhia quipped, "I am not an expert Dr. Gupta.. You should take it to a translator.. Or probably wait till the next edition of the Chinese dictionary comes out..", she chuckled.. Riddhima faked a laugh at that and thanked her before cutting the call.. What does she know how desperately she wanted that translation!!..
"Armaan.. Is this your final decision.. Phir ek baar soch lo..", Dr. Shubhankar asked him, still trying to persuade him to think over his decision.. They were having this meeting for the third time in two days but did not arrive at a valid conclusion..
"Yes sir.. Main kisi bhi haalat mein wapas nahi jaana chahta..", he said, not wavering his decision even once.. He had promised this to her.. Besides even he didn't have the heart to back at all..
Dr. Shubhankar was surprised by this stubborn behavior of his.. He knew Armaan was as dedicated as any professional could be.. He couldn't understand what was the problem this time.. He agreed that they had just gotten engaged and there had been certain differences between him and Dr. Shashank when he had decided to go there.. But now when everything was right, he didn't relate to this excuse of his.. Even he had been in love once upon a time, and even he had had to fight for Keerti, but he had never neglected his profession on that account.. "Armaan I don't understand.. Do din se kya farak padega.. That patient wants you to operate on him.. Don't you think its your professional duty.. Aap ek doctor hokar..", but Armaan spoke up.. "Sir I understand.. But when this can be so easily avoided, I don't want to go there.. I know my reasons are personal, but even professionally, that surgery is very regular.. Koi aur bhi kar sakta hai.. Aisa nahi hai ki its very complicated and I am the only one who knows the case well.. ", he said trying to defend his decision.. He knew he was not really being a good doctor by doing this, but this was too early for him to leave her and go.. She would freak out even at the mention of something like this.. Plus, he himself didn't want to.. He dreaded even the thought of going back and especially away from her.. If this could be avoided then he was going to put in his best..
"But Armaan.. We don't even have a replacement for you.. Tum jaante ho mere appointments already fixed hain.. I can go there.. Hum Dr. Khorana ko kya jawaab denge..", Dr. Shubhankar tried to reason with him.. Dr. Shashank had asked him to find a replacement for Armaan as he wasn't keen on sending him back to Singapore.. And he was on it.. But they had not found any worthy candidate and there was a patient that Armaan was supposed to operate on after he returned from the wedding.. But he never returned from the wedding at all.. Armaan knew this was as unprofessional as it could get, but nothing mattered more than Riddhima.. She was insecure about this very thing he knew and he wasn't going to let her fears come true.. He had troubled her enough for a lifetime.. That is why he had taken care not to let her know anything about this.. "Sir main koshish kar raha hoon.. In fact ek doctor ne apply kiya hai.. He's coming for an interview tomorrow.. Maine apko unka resume bhi mail kar diya hai.. Its very impressive.. I think he can handle this very well.. Anyway I don't think I was right for the job.."
"Armaan you are no one to decide who is right and wrong.. But I hope this one is good.. Coz agar kal tak we don't get anyone, aapko jaana padega.. ", Dr. Shubhankar declared..
"But sir.. I spoke to Dr. Shashank about it.. And he's..", Armaan started worriedly.. He wasn't going.. Come what may.. But Dr. Shubhankar interrupted his excuse rally as he said "Dr. Shashank kya karenge Armaan.. Is he going to operate on that patient.. He has requested me to look for a replacement and if I haven't found one.. you have to give that patient professional preference..", he asserted.. Armaan couldn't refute that one as he nodded "Yes sir.. I understand.. But I am sure things will work out tomorrow..", he said hopefully..
Dr. Shubhankar sighed at that.. "I hope they do Armaan.. But if they don't.. Please.. Aapko jaana padega..", he commanded his request..
"Ji sir.." Armaan nodded and thanking him made his way out of his cabin.. Everything was going wrong.. The doctor who was supposed to come for an interview today didn't turn up.. Tomorrow was his last chance.. This had to work out.. Coz after he had confidently promised her this morning, he couldn't possibly break it again.. No he wouldn't.. He declared to himself.. But the doubts crept in his head.. What if they don't get a replacement in time.. What if he has to go.. He couldn't risk a patient's life.. That would weigh down on his conscience too.. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he wondered what he was going to do.. Plus she was getting impatient about finding out what he was so trying to hide.. He wondered why he had so many problems in life that he found them so difficult to hide.. This one he had to.. The other one didn't matter anymore.. It was his past.. And his tattoo.. Well it was just plain embarrassing.. Why couldn't she understand.. And it brought back the horrific memories that he was so trying to forget.. Something he wasn't really keen on sharing with her.. Not now.. Not after what he had put her through.. That much he was set on..
As she reached the canteen, she found Rahul, Muskaan, Atul and her Di at a table.. She wondered why they were gathered at one side as she neared them, when she saw the laptop open in front of Rahul and Nikki's smiling face beaming through it.. "Hey Ridzi.. Nikki.. Ridzi aa gayi..", Muskaan told her enthusiastically as she got up to let Riddhima sit and talk to Nikki..
"Hey Nikki.. So how's Mauritius.. ", Riddhima asked her enthusiastically..
But Rahul butted in the conversation as he said, "Wrong question Riddhima.. You really think they've gone out and seen anything in Mauritius.. Ask her how the hotel room is?..", he teased Nikki..
"Rahul Grewaal.. Enough already.. Zyaada bak bak mat kar.. And Ridzi how are you?. And how's Armaan.. We're having so much fun here.. The beaches are so beautiful.. I'll put up a few pictures on facebook.. Check them out later.."
"Yeah of course.. What else did you do?.. Besides the obvious?..", she asked tongue on cheek..
"Riddhima!! Not you too..", she whined.. Then thought of getting back at her, "So.. Since when did you start wearing turtlenecks to the hospital Riddhima.. Don't you think it's a little to casual..", she gave her a knowing smile.. Muskaan nudged her as the boys and her Di decided to ignore that comment of Nikki's..
"Nikki.. Its cold in Mumbai.. Don't worry so much about me.. Tu bata.. Aur kya kiya.. ", she stuttered but managed to shift the focus away from her.. And Nikki was very excited to tell her about her honeymoon so far as she excitedly replied.. "Waise Abhi took me on this really beautiful date on the beach to mark our anniversary.. I know it's a few days late but what the hell!.. "
"Wo wo wo.. Anniversary Nikki?.. Let me remind you ki tumhari shaadi pichle hafte hui hai..", Anjali reminded her, surprised by what she was hearing..
"Not that anniversary Anjie.. ", Nikki replied, but Rahul cut her before she could continue, "Of course not Anjie.. It must me their first kiss anniversary.. Or wait, first gift anniversary.. No no.. May be they set their eyes on each other for the first time..", he mocked them..
"Rahul shut up yaar.. And that first meeting waala anniversary toh Riddhima and Armaan ka tha.. We all forgot.. I think they also didn't remember, but the day they got engaged was the first time they set their eyes on each other a year back.. It feels like such a long time ago, yet so close back in time.. Haina Riddhima..", Riddhima was stunned as she heard that.. Of course.. It was a year.. Last year this time they were in Goa..
Nikki almost echoed her thoughts as she said.. "Last year this time we were in Goa.. Remember.. Well I think this month is my beaches month.. Har saal beach par.."
"Nikki hurry up sweetheart..", Abhi's voice came from the background.. And it made everyone go 'ooohh..'
"Abhi saale.. Kahan chupke baitha hai.. Biwi mil gayi toh doston ko bhool gaya..", Atul teased him as Nikki turned red..
"Atul.. Shut up.. So where was I.. Haan.. So it was our engagement anniversary.. I mean Abhi had proposed to me.. the first time.. ", she quipped, then continued, "in Goa last year.. Remember.."
"Oh ya.. Congrats Nikki.. Now I remember..", Muskaan wished her, "I remember Ridzi was angry coz you didn't tell her.. And that is the day we met Armaan.. "
Riddhima smiled at Muskaan and then at Nikki in the screen as a sense of nostalgia took over.. That was a time when he wasn't even hers.. So much.. oh god.. So much has changed since then.. "I still cant believe it..", she said softly, remembering that holiday that had completely changed her life..
"I know.. We were not married back then..", Anjali said, looking at Atul, probably remembering her time with him before they got married..
"Nor were we..", Rahul spoke up as he looked at Muskaan..
"I didn't even know you then Rahul.. Kya waqt tha woh..", she said dreamily, only to make him scowl..
Nikki giggled as she saw them bicker, "Haan.. Ridzi aur Armaan bhi aise hi ladte the.. I mean they still do.. But it all seems so cute now.. I would have never thought that you two would get together.. I mean after what you said on our last dinner together..", Nikki said, her voice filled with sadness at the last comment..
Riddhima scrunched her eyebrows at that, "What did I say?.."
"Something about his parents remember.. Bechara.. Uske mom ki death anniversary thi uss din.. But of course tab you didn't know.. But I am happy he has you with him now.. I am sure he's better this year.. Main actually ussi se baat karna chahti thi.. Has he come.. Who theek hai na..", but Riddhima wasn't listening to anything she was saying anymore.. All of them around her were also lost for words.. Rahul knew about this, but Armaan always kept away on this day..
"Uski mom ki.. Kya..", she asked her, her eyes filling up even before she thought what was happening.. Nikki knew she had said something she probably wasn't supposed to as she asked in a small voice, "He didn't tell you.."
"I'll just.. I just have some work.. Bye..", she said in a small voice as she got up, her mind was on that night exactly a year back.. That was the first time she had seen that emptiness in his eyes.. That was the first time she had seen him cry.. Now she knew why there was such an exaggerated response from his side.. It was his mom's death anniversary.. She should have been killed for saying that to him that day.. And he didn't tell her.. He didn't tell her all this while.. He didn't tell her today.. Why would he do that?.. Tears of betrayal rushed out of her eyes as she made her way into the fire escape and sat there leaning against the wall, still not able to believe what she had heard..
He didn't feel like going for lunch.. He knew the reason, but he ignored it putting it at the back of his mind.. But he still didn't feel like going.. So he decided to go to the fire escape to ponder over his problems.. Maybe he could find a new way out of this going-to-Singapore business.. Coz he had to.. He couldn't actually go there.. Not in this lifetime at least.. Sighing he took out his phone to send a reminder mail to Dr. Sharma who was scheduled to come for the interview tomorrow.. This one had to come.. He entered the fire escape as he continued his typing when he heard someone sniff. And he was only surprised to find Riddhima on the second last step, leaning her head against the wall..
"Basket.. What are you doing here?.. And tum ro kyun rahi ho?..", he rushed to her, trying to get her look at him as he asked her worriedly.. Everything was going wrong today.. Riddhima resisted him at first, but then looked at him defiantly as she wiped her tears, controlling herself, "Don't talk to me Armaan..", she didn't know what she was feeling.. She was angry with him for not telling her, and sad about the fact that she wasn't there with him when he needed her..
Armaan was shocked at the surly tone she had taken.. What could have gone wrong in a matter of a few hours.. The last time he saw her, she couldn't stop blushing and now she couldn't stop crying.. Did she by any chance some to know about his Singapore plans.. "Riddhima.. Kya hua.. "
"Don't bother Armaan.. Mujhe kucch nahi hua hai..", she said, anger almost bursting through her as she got up to leave.. But he held her hand and cornered her against the wall, "Basket.. Please.. Kya hua.. I am sorry.."
"What for..", she asked, glaring at him through her tears..
"I don't know..", he said softly..
"Then Go find out..", she seethed..
Armaan was scared now.. Why was she angry with him.. This surely had something to do with his Singapore problem.. "Riddhima.."
"Why didn't you tell me Armaan..", she asked before he could make another excuse..
He looked down as he said. "Riddhima I was going to tell you..", he knew there was no point in hiding it from her now.. He just had to assure her that he would make everything alright..
"When?.. ", she demanded when he didn't continue with his explanation.. "Armaan do you know how humiliating it was.. Nikki told me and I didn't even know anything.. Armaan.. You used to tell me everything that bothers you na.. Toh ab kya hua hai?..", she asked him, her tears brimming in her eyes again..
But Armaan was majorly confused by what he heard.. "Nikki.. Told you?.. What did Nikki tell you..", Nikki didn't know anything about this.. In fact he hadn't spoken to her since they had dropped her off at the airport that night..
"What were you talking about..", she asked him suspiciously..
"What did Nikki tell you?.", he questioned back his answer..
"First you tell me what were you talking about..", she said stubbornly.. Enough of his stupid behavior..
"Riddhima please.. What did Nikki say.."
Riddhima sighed.. He was still pretending!.. "Armaan aaj mom ki.. Tum.. Tumne bataya kyun nahi..", she caressed his face, her expression softening, knowing very well what he must have gone through.. Now she realized why he wanted her to come home yesterday.. That house already felt so empty and this was the most difficult time for him to pass.. He must have had sleepless nights dreading this.. She knew.. The way he had cried in her arms a year back, when he didn't even know her well, was proof enough that he misses his mom a lot.. She didn't understand why now he was putting up a pretence of not being affected by it.. So much that he didn't even mention in passing about it..
Armaan was shocked by what he heard.. He felt like killing Nikki.. This was one thing that he had kept from her so well and she had gone and blabbed to her.. Of all the things that were going wrong today this had to be the worst.."Riddhima.. I didn't want to bring it up.. It doesn't matter now.. I knew you would become upset.. See.. Like your crying right now..", he consoled her, not a shadow of pain, not a tear in his eye..
Riddhima looked back at him as he said that, "Armaan.. What I feel is not as important as your feelings.. You had promised you'll tell me everything.. "
"Riddhima for me what you feel is most important.. So I am not sorry for not telling you this.. I can deal with my feelings on my own if they upset you so much..", he declared, his tone hardening as his expressions..
"Armaan..", she started but couldn't complete it as he took her face in his hands and said, "Riddhima.. I don't want to talk about this anymore alright.. Stop thinking so much.. I am very happy right now because you are in my life.. I love you and that is most important.. Is that ok..", and the love that she saw in his eyes was not a lie.. She knew he had hidden his pain behind it, but if he was better off not discussing it then she had little say in the matter.. She nodded as he said that and hugged him, running her hand through his hair, caressing his back, letting him know that she was with him, even if he pretended that he didn't need her.. And knowing that she was there for him, calmed her down, her anger vanishing as suddenly as it had come..
And he couldn't help but let that tear slip out of his eye, that got lost somewhere in her hair as he found solace in her arms.. All his problems were thrown out the window when he was where he was right now.. But he controlled his feelings, reminding himself for the millionth time that she was more important than anything in this world..
"By the way I know what your tattoo means..", she said, trying to lighten the situation as she pulled out.. He chuckled as he heard her.. She wasn't going to give up.. "So What does it mean..", he asked her, his expression amused..
"I know..", she declared as he placed a small kiss on her cheek..
"Toh bataao na..", he asked her, smirking..
She frowned at that.. "Tum batao.. We'll cross check.."
He laughed a little at that.. "So smart.. But no thanks.. I know what it means.. You know what it means.. Lets keep it to ourselves.. Lunch karne chale?..", and taking her hand he started towards the door..
"I know it has 'love' in it.. ", she blurted, holding him back by his hand..
He just raised his eyebrows and gave her a teasing grin.. "Good.. So what.." she scowled at that answer.. Who was she kidding.. It was impossible to trick him.. "Armaan bolo na..", she tried pleading again..
"Will I first get a good afternoon kiss..", he asked her cheekily, as he leaned in, winking at her.. That only brought her scowl back on as she turned red and pulled her hand out of his grip.. "In your dreams..", and she walked off, blushing to herself..
"Basket.. Ruko toh..", he followed her, trying to shamelessly convince her into giving him his lunchtime doze, while her scowl deepened with every attempt of his, till they reached the canteen for lunch..
He was sitting on the parapet of the terrace, staring up at the night sky, trying to look for a bright star that his mom had convinced him she would become, when he was a nave ten year old.. Now he knew it was all a story, a make up to console him when he wasn't capable of handling something as serious as death.. Now he knew what death was.. He knew it well, having quite a few close encounters with it.. But his profession had compelled him to harden himself.. Seeing a handful of deaths a year was an occupational hazard.. And he had very well learnt how to ignore that pain since his graduation internship in Kasauli.. Now he could almost always control his emotions when death came looking for one of his patients.. There was only one pain that seeped through him, through and through.. And that was anything that involved going away from Riddhima.. She was his life, his to-be-wife.. 'That wasn't very poetic', his mind reprimanded him as he chuckled at his rhyme.. But it was true.. He had made a promise to himself of protecting her and that included from all the pain that she felt because of him.. So he had decided not to tell her about his mom.. He had mourned her death on this day for the last seventeen years of his life.. But this time he didn't.. At least he tried to convince himself that it was not affecting him that much.. It was, in fact very much so.. But he held back.. Ignoring the pain that was making its way out.. Reminding himself of the greater pain that had pierced him when he had to see her in that horrible state because of him.. That pain of hers didn't let him sleep at night.. Haunted him when he was alone and not with her.. And he took it all without a word.. He wasn't going to tell her.. No he wasn't.. He deserved this pain for putting her through it.. And so he took it upon himself to keep from her everything that hurts her.. He didn't tell her about the problem he was facing at work.. He didn't tell her about how lonely he felt when he came home from her place after dinner.. Like he was feeling right now.. He didn't, and probably wouldn't ever, mention to her that he lives in the constant fear of losing her, those painful memories haunt him in the form of nightmares every night.. That is why he tries to work in all those times when she isn't with him.. That is why he sits on the terrace where the stars accompany him in his solitude.. That is why he didn't tell her how much he was dreading to face this day.. This day when his mom left him alone in this world.. But Nikki had ruined it all.. No he had.. She had cried today.. More than once.. Four days into the promise he had made to himself, and he had already broken it.. He was mad at himself for that.. And he had removed that frustration on his friend.. But what else could he do.. Riddhima could read him like an open book.. And he had her worried already by his less than convincing lying skills.. The one thing that she had no idea about, and he knew was the most upsetting for her, as for him, was the fact that today was his mom's death anniversary.. And still for her he had pretended that he didn't feel a thing.. He wondered how he convinced her that he wasn't as disturbed as she thought he was.. But the truth was he was.. She was right.. He was a mess at this moment.. He was caught in this whirlwind of emotions and he didn't know which problem was bigger.. He didn't know what to focus his attention on.. Or what to divert his attention from.. His resolve falling weak every second that he though of the mess he had become.. He needed closure.. And he didn't know where to get it.. As that turmoil made its way out of his eyes, he felt disgusted with himself again.. He was so weak, that he couldn't hold up a day without letting those tears come through.. He was clearly not as strong as he thought he was.. Or as he pretended to be.. He needed her more than ever.. And just as if she heard his plea, he heard her voice "Armaan..", surprised that she was here, he wiped his eyes dry as discreetly as he could manage.. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him cry.. He turned around and put up a smile, "Hey.. Tum yahan kya kar rahi ho?..", he asked her, checking his watch.. It was 10:30.. And besides, he had only come back from her place half an hour back..
When she didn't answer him, he got off the parapet and walked towards her.. She looked into his eyes and even in the faint moonlight she could see that they still were moist.. But she didn't ask him why.. All she knew was that he needed her.. He could try and hide it behind his jokes, but she knew he needed her.. And tonight she wasn't going to leave him alone.. And he saw that promise in her eyes.. He was a fool to think that she really believed he was ok.. She probably knew him better than he did himself.. Why was he bothering with all the lying.. He didn't let go of her gaze that told him she felt everything that he did, his happiness and his pain.. as she led him down the stairs, through the kitchen and into his room she settled on the bed without a word.. He sat beside her and lay his head in her lap as she leaned back on the bedpost comfortably, and buried his face in her stomach.. And she held him close, running her hands in his hair, comforting him.. He had pretended all day that nothing was wrong with him.. That nothing was bothering him.. She knew he was doing it so that it does not upset her.. But he didn't understand that it upset her more that he was hiding himself from her.. She held him closer, bending down to place a soft kiss on his ear, telling him that he was hers no matter what.. As he felt her kiss his ear, he moved closer into her and without any warning all that pain and insecurity that he had bottled inside him in these days came pouring out of his eyes.. She held on to his shaking frame as she caressed his back, comforting him like she had done a year back.. And he just clung on to her.. This time leaving his pretence behind, accepting that he needed her.. Maybe more than she needed him.. And nothing could be done about that fact.. He couldn't manage on his own.. He needed her.. He could claim all he wanted, but he was no Superman..
She smiled as she watched him sleep, his head still in her lap, his arms loosely holding her around her waist.. And he slept like a baby.. Slept peacefully and for the first time in four days.. Slept peacefully in his personal heaven..
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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