DOTW: Domestic Violence

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Jazmin

@jnawaz

Inactive

+ 6

Posted: 14 years ago

hello ladies! my turn for DOTW...so here it goes...

last week we had some awesome TaSha bedroom scenes...we saw that no matter what that gadha says...his actions speak for themselves...he's just too stubborn to admit that he still loves Naku with his whole heart and soul...

however...

one thing totally hit me and i didnt like it one bit....that was Dutta slapping Naku...as if that wasnt bad enough...Naku made excuses for him saying that he was her hubby and was only jataoing his haq...umm...excuse me when i say...W*F!? 😲😲😲...are you effin kidding me!? how is hitting your wife a right any husband has...a man has no right hitting a woman regardless of the situation...he doesnt own her...he isnt above her...he is her equal...right? at least thats how its supposed to be right...the whole bit about God making Eve out of Adam's rib because she was to be equal to him...not beneath or above him...

even Dutta had said himself that no man can ever raise his hand on any woman...he made that huge speech when Ganpat had tried to hit Naku and Dutta brought her to his room...woh saab kahaan gaye...i know he was upset and all...but at that point...he wasnt even drunk (not that that would have been an excuse at that point either)...but still...he was fully sober and he did that...he could have easily just grabbed her and dragged her out or something...haath uthane ki kya zarurat thi? sure he felt guilty later....that too only in his drunken state...in his sober state...he'd either forgotten or not cared...

now im not bashing Dutta at all...im just saying that the sequence shown on LTL that day raises some serious questions about domestic violence...

im a traditional Desi girl in all the ways that count...but im a modern "liberated" woman as well...i believe that women and men are equals...women as just as smart and capable to do anything that a man can do...i have always said that i'd never be with a man that raised his hands on me...no matter what the situation...if he hits me or physically harms me in any way...im gone..im out the door so fast you wont see whats coming......of course...i still like to think that...but then...i think...lets say...im married to someone...(which im not)...and he hits me...its a one time thing and he says it wont happen again...what do i do? i want to stay true to myself and leave...but...what about all those years of my life that ive spent with him...what if we have kids...do i stay back...what if it happens again...what do i do then...who do i tell...just WHAT DO I DO!?

so here i pose the discussion topic for this week...

Domestic Violence
what do you think about it...what would you do...?

i know its only a show..but should Naku be taking this issue so lightly? should Dutta be left off the hook simply because he was upset at the moment...if yes...the what about Ganpat or any other man that raises his hand on the women in his life?

*jaz reads what she wrote*
WOW! serious much!? ha ha...i cant wait to see your thoughts!

JAZ

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TheRager

@TheRager

Achiever

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

A good topic Jaz...in case of domestic violence its sometimes becomes tough for women to take a stand esp when the whole family is stake. Thats why many women chose to stay quiet. Right or wrong...who am I say? Its very easy to say if I was in her place I would have done this or that...
But I agree with the majority view on the forum wrt the domestic violence Nakusha has faced. She should have taken a stand earlier and this time too. The reason a guy like Dutta got away with it was because of Nakusha. And despite the best intentions he will continue to behave like a selfish brat all thanks to Naku's encouragement thru such behavior. Makes good drama but sets a bad real life example.

Edited by kshreya2002 - 14 years ago

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.scorpio10

@.scorpio10

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

First of all . I will not under no circumstance get invovled or married to such a guy ........But if I was in such situtaion where the guys lifts his hand or even finger .. I will make sure he will not be able to lift it ever gain in his life ... Becoz I belive if a guy can hit ...so can I .......Hit back with as much force nd anger nd with the first thing I find ....be it a hockey stick , cricket bat ...my shoe , stick , bottle whatever I find will be used to show the guys his place .. Nd then walk out with warning that if ever again showed his face .... then God help him from me

Edited by scorpio10 - 14 years ago

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Jazmin

@jnawaz

Inactive

+ 6

Posted: 14 years ago

@ scorpio: i know what you mean...but what if you never saw it coming...he never gave you signs that he would ever hit you...did we ever think Dutta would raise his hand on Naku..i didnt...but ha ha...i agree...if he can hit...so can we! bring me my bat! lmfao

JAZ

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TheRager

@TheRager

Achiever

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

I can imagine the situation of the guy...he would be perenially scared of bats, hockey sticks and anything else that can remotely cause injury. 😆

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Wanderbug

@Wanderbug

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

I have seen this happen to my maasi...her husband...to whom i don't talk to this date is a abuser. he had raised his hand on her when he was too riled that too when she was pregnant with their first child...that time my dad and mama threatened him with police case..but my maasi wanted to go back to him..social pressure...after 10 years history was repeated and this time he beat her infront of his two small daughters....that was not the end....when he beat her again 2 years back..the elder daughter held his hand and said that they will logde a complain against him if he ever pulled that stunt again..he was ashamed of himself and left his home to live in the town he works he comes home every week on sundays but the father-daughters relationship is still stained to this date...but what amazes me is that my maasi still doesn't accept that he is a woman beater..she makes excuses for him saying he works too hard and it stresses him..that disgusts me and my cousins.

What my point is that how can u fight something if you refuse to accept it?

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Roopa

@-Roopa-

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

Very Good topic..😊

I will come back with my comments..

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Jazmin

@jnawaz

Inactive

+ 6

Posted: 14 years ago

@ shilpita: sorry to hear about your massi...but i have to say...your cousins have got the right mind set and guts...hats off to her for putting her father in his place! but ya...thats what i cant understand...why so many women refuse to see that the hitting is a problem...its not part of life...we dont go beating people up cuz we're stressed or tired...😡😡

JAZ

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sana

@sana786a

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

wow jaz wat a post really heart touching ok bk 2 da post well violence is a no no and domestic violence

bk 2 da epi where dutta had grabbed naku den slapped her is a major no no he shudnt have dne dat 2 her nt because she is his wife and such but because no man has da right 2 raise der hands on a women i knw he regreted it later on but dat didnt didnt change things he gt drunk as usual regreted den 4gt da next day he has a habit of lashing out does dutta as we have seen he is agressive gt an anger problem even lashes out on baaji but cuming 2 dis topic readin wat u have written i am thinking dat if a person cares about u like dutta does about naku and baaji does dat really justify him being aggressive sarcastic hurting dem physically mentally emotinally just because he is hurt no i dnt think so if a person raises der hand on sumone knwing dat they r strnger is nt right at all times have changed we dnt ive in da dark ages a women shud be a equal 2 a man if a man can work so can a women i once had a small worded fight wid a guy i knw and he gt talking about guys can does dis guys can do dat they r better den girls and i go der is one thing u guys cant do dat is give birth 2 a child and take all dat pain dat women have taken frm da start of exsistance he shut up straight away

even like u jaz i go 2 my mom straight away dat if a guy was 2 raise der hand on me or mentally phyiscally hurt me i wudnt stay wid him wud be out of da door but sumtimes jaz wen u r in a relationship as such it is hard 2 leave maybe dat is da same 4 naku she covers duttas every movement or mistake and says it was ur luv and sumtimes i feel like banging her head 2gether and saying women ur a door mat leave him 2 show him ur worth i knw he has bin hurt in da past but dat dsnt allow him 2 force her 2 marry him like he did da first time around walking on glass strangling her all da time pushing her around untill she bleeds ignoring her making her feel sad etcdat isnt luv at all

a women in a domestic relationship shud leave her partner or anyone who is abusing sumone but it all depends on da type of ubringing u have coz sumtimes da decision u make will nt just affect u only ur whole fam will be affected as seen wid naku she takes everything frm dutta coz she believes in marriage and luving one person 4ever and wnt ever think about leaving him if dat makes sense but i wish she wud becum strnger and show him dat his way of his so called luv is nt right and shud stop usibg her as a punchbag or sumone 2 vent his anger out ok im dne😆

Edited by sana786a - 14 years ago

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sana

@sana786a

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: shilpita87
I have seen this happen to my maasi...her husband...to whom i don't talk to this date is a abuser. he had raised his hand on her when he was too riled that too when she was pregnant with their first child...that time my dad and mama threatened him with police case..but my maasi wanted to go back to him..social pressure...after 10 years history was repeated and this time he beat her infront of his two small daughters....that was not the end....when he beat her again 2 years back..the elder daughter held his hand and said that they will logde a complain against him if he ever pulled that stunt again..he was ashamed of himself and left his home to live in the town he works he comes home every week on sundays but the father-daughters relationship is still stained to this date...but what amazes me is that my maasi still doesn't accept that he is a woman beater..she makes excuses for him saying he works too hard and it stresses him..that disgusts me and my cousins.

What my point is that how can u fight something if you refuse to accept it?

sorry 4 barging in shilpa but wat happened 2 ur maasi is sicking my fam knw such a person who has dne sumfing da same and i still luk at da women who was da victim 4 so lng and still is how she can bear such things her husband used 2 beat her up wen they were newly married wen she was pregnant used 2 leave her in such a state and go on holidays widout funding her she did alot 4 her kids cryed all her life gave her kids da best of everything her husband never treated her as an equal used 2 beat her give galiyan untill one point da poor thing went crazy and lost her mind even up untill nw he still mentally physically abuses her and wat amazes me and da rest of us is how she went through all dis 4 so many years and still stayed wid him

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DOTW: Domestic Violence

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