FF: New York times with Maan and Geet Thread 2 - Page 77

Originally posted by: 6thElement

Me too...I want to take a quick nap, before i finish it off...its 3.49 here...sorry.

Part 60 New Genesis

I slipped out of bed to brush. It was one thing he hated, perhaps I was putting it lightly; He detested morning breath. Indeed quite odd for a guy to break a good stretch of slumber just to brush and slip back in bed, as opposed to me...who had to combat my languidness to even ruffle my lashes.. He did that often to kiss me as I woke up to my morning senses.

I wanted to kiss him today and so I pulled myself out of bed to get to the bathroom quietly, or so I thought, for he was wide awake, when I got back to the room. With a haughty smile, his hand came across to tug me closer as I walked by our bed.

Maan:"Sorry...I still beat you to it…"

Inching closer, I lay down and rested on his shoulder to give him the first kiss of the day.

Geet:"Good Morning...sorry apko phir se mujhe utake lana pada...I think I slept on you AGAIN"

Maan:"Hmmm" He slid his arm underneath me to pull me closer and wearing a coy smile as he continued he mumbled, "That's actually my favorite part of the day"

I was now quite curious for his head tilted sideways to get something from my side of the nightstand and as his hand came into view, I saw a folded sheet of paper. We opened it together as his other hand moved up to go underneath my neck and came around to hold the left rear end of the paper. He had photocopied my letter and had added his questions and opinions. It looked quite funny…for it seemed to me like a term paper with my prof's comments.

Maan,

I don't know if I should have told you this any earlier, but our marriage was unexpected and I didn't know how in those 2 days I could have put this across to you. Please don't ask me why I didn't make an effort to tell you after our marriage…You were so happy…I just couldn't spoil it for you. All I can say is that I'm sorry I kept it from you all this while. .<Maan> Hmmm I still feel previliged that you told me…how do I convince you? Pray tell me.

This involves Meera as well and I know you will maintain discretion, but a word of caution from my end, to make sure I don't hurt her in anyway.<Maan> I think you know me better that that…

I was 11 that time and was playing hide and seek with couple of other girls by our farm in Hoshiarpur. Meer and I hid in a near by storeroom for the hulls and husks from the farm. As we waited for my friend to come look for us, two men came in with a girl bound by her dupatta. Meer instantly silenced me by closing my mouth and held hers too for we were struck by fear of being hurt by those vandals. We stay hidden behind the sacks…for the entire time the other girl was shrieking and crying as those thugs raped her…

We didn't tell anyone about it, even when the whole town was questioned about her and those thugs…We didn't know what happened to her and as days passed we recovered…or so I thought. <Maan> You should talk to someone about this…Rachana?

Let me give it straight to you…I couldn't get intinate with my ex-hu…I don't know…I'm sure that was one of the cardinal reasons why he perhaps could never understand me at all and I never made an attempt to tell him either. We broke into many fights over this and he constantly blamed the circumstances under which we were married and took it as my revenge for the same. I slapped him once when he had crossed his bounds and was brutal to me. Ever since things changed and it was all cold and downhill after that. <Maan> Lets talk through this in the morning.

I felt you should know…I want you to know everything there is to about me. I know I have a lot of baggaes…and you probably think I'm stupid to have messed up my past for something that I had witnessed a long time ago. <Maan> Baggages? Yes, but process it… Stupid? No…I'm selfish in more ways than you think. I can't imagine you wouldn't be sleping next to me now…

I probably am the only reason why my past didn't work out <Maan> Why do you feel this?

and I just didn't know how at that time <Maan> I concur

…I'm sorry for myself…<Maan> Don't be

and I'm sure this changes things for us…<Maan> Yes but don't you think we are moving in the right direction? This gets us to the next level.

I know I was a goof up. <Maan>You are even now…just a better one.

Ready to face your wrath over this…<Maan> Totally…for now lets kiss…

Your wife, Your husband,

Geet… Maan

P.S…I don't know how you feel after this…but I love you loads. And if this is ever the last time I get to say this…then here it goes…you are and will always be my first breath of air that gives me the desire to live...and now love.

P.S. Exstatic is the word I think…I love you loads too. Why would you think it's the last time? I haven't even lived a day with you…and in my world a day is only a lifetime with you. Wow! It always blows me away everytime I hear you call me "My breath of fresh air…"

Have I ever told you what you are to me…My Mishti…The spark that warmed me up to people again…my nirvana of the physical world.

I didn't know if there was ever a letter written like this before, but I wanted to parade and show the whole world, that it could exist. He had written fever words than I had, but he had driven the point home more profound. We turned to look at each and he was now beaming to tell me that all was well with us. I held him by the cheek that was farther from me and pulled him closer to kiss him on the lips, for I didn't have words to tell him, how he had completed me in every way.

He kissed me in shorter pecks on my lips now and strangely I felt he wanted to talk to me now.

Maan:"Let's just stay in bed…or Do you want to go out? I think its already 11.20…" He shook his head and raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders….Hmmm? His body language confused me. I questioned back for I couldn't read him to know which one he preferred.

Geet:"So you want to stay in bed?"

He was amused with the way I questioned him. He nodded and pulled me closer.

I didn't want to spoil it for him, right after we had woken up, but I couldn't hold it in either.

Geet:"Do you want to talk through it now?"

He shrugged as if he didn't care.

Maan:"Why not?...by the way, I hope the letter didn't come across as I was taking you lightly..or…"

<Maan's monologue>

She cut me off and pulled me by my kurta to give me a kiss on my lips. As she tugged me closer, she added one more task to her list, for now there was a button that needed sweing…she just flung another one in the air. We both looked down at the thread that stood in the place of the button and couldn't help break into a guffaw.

I had to ask her, and I did.

Maan:"What's with you and the buttons? Seriously I need to invest in a button factory now…"

She wacked me playfully on my chest and continued to get back to what she had originally wanted to discuss. She read out my first question on her letter.

Geet:"How do I convince you?...Hmm You don't have to Maan…your letter already gave me the answer…"

I was curious why she said that.

Maan:"My letter? I just photocopied...yours…"

She didn't let me complete it…AS ALWAYS…Her expression muted to show that she was quite serious about what was to follow.

Geet:"I think you did more justice to this piece of paper than I did…"

I was glad she didn't let me complete my statement. She was my very own goof up and I had to kiss her back on her forehead…I did. She moved on to the next one and I was glad she was attacking the letter the same way I had done, process each statement one at a time.

Geet:"I will talk to Rachana…for you…no…for us…"

It was just the right words being said and I didn't have to interfere, for now she knew her road home.

As she moved on to the next one, she paused and hung her head down in embarassement. I lifted her chin to face me and questioned myself if this was something worth discussing for I didn't want her to face this discomfort.

Maan:"Agar tum iske baare main baat nahin karna chahti ho tho teek hain Geet, Hum time le sakte hain…lekin main chahta hoon…ki hum kisina kisi din iske baare main baat Karen…"

Her tone was downcast and she pulled along to get through with it.

Geet:"Nahin Maan…I want to…Can you please walk me through this?...I just…"

She broke into tears and buried her head into my shoulder. Her hair ruffled as I calmed her down to stroke her back gently.

Maan:"Ro mat…Geet…Hum baad…"

She jumped at me, wanting to be done with it.

Geet:"Nahin Maan…please…mujhse aur nahin hoga…"

True, I needed the air between us to clear out about her past.

Maan:"You have to understand I would never do this, but given your childhood trauma, I want to understand and I want you to know I'm not going to judge you in anyway…"

I hope my assurance reached her and she nodded to my content.

Maan:"Why didn't you tell him?...Argh! this is so weird Geet…Zero weirdness."

The words and questions didn't seem so bad in my mind, but as they were voiced for her to consider, it felt I had just shattered her trust in me. She saw me wince in pain and got to assuage my suffering in time.

Geet:"Aap ko hak hain pooch ne ke liye…please don't feel bad…coming back to it…I think I didn't trust men after that. I didn't even open up to papa. Those thugs made me keep all men around me at bay…"

Turning to check on me, she continued.

Geet:"I wanted to tell him, but he was behind his company at that time…trying to build it from the ground up…and didn't have time for me. I didn't feel the secureness…the human touch never made me feel inside that, that person could understand me…Maan…I have to tell you this and it might be something people would not want to tell their husband…but please…."

Do I know where she was going? I didn't want to know why she couldn't be initimate. How do I convince her? I suffered and my innards were giving up. I closed my eyes and held my head for it ached now, but still kept my guard to not give away too much.

Geet:"I just didn't have it in me to get close…may be its because the marriage was so sudden that it didn't settle in me. I didn't think about those things at that time…my mind and my priorities were far from being someon's wife and meet his needs. I just wanted to break free…but I couldn't. I did the least I could at home…I cooked, cleaned…reminded him to pay bills, kept records of expenditure…that's all I could do…."

She paused once again for some time and then went on with her disclosure.

Geet:"May be it would have been easier for you to hear all this as my friend…I'm sorry Maan…I should have told you before our marriage…but I didn't want to hold it in me any longer…you deserve to know everything…"

Her voice stabilizied and her tears had dried down now.

Geet:"I wrote the letter a day before our marriage but couldn't give it to you…when you told me about your physical intimacy with sameera yesterday…I just couldn't delay it any longer…"

I was wrong; her tears were just waiting for another bounce on her emotions. I held her close.

Geet:"The first year he stayed away. He genuinely wanted to give me time, and then as our anniversary approached, he started becoming desperate…that's when I had to slap him...After that just to show me who was the man of the house…he started spending a lot of time with his friends…he was on the internet 24/7…One fine day when we were fighting…he showed me a picture of a woman and told me that she was his girlfriend and that he was sleeping with her…"

Her tears had stopped and her tone had a tinge of anger.

Geet:"I was hysterical. I packed my bags to go back to India, when he pleaded me to stay back and told me that he had lied to me to get back at me…that there was no girlfriend and that the picture was someone who he was interviewing for a job…He was pretty convincing, so I stayed"

In a flat tone, she kept on to relieve her past.

Geet:"There was some guilt in him after that and I didn't know what…he offered to pay for my education. I was eager and that's all I thought about after that. He got me a student visa…for I had still not got my PR…Studies took my mind off…he even assured me that he will wait until I was 21...The reason he gave for the abstinence was that he remembered some ad from India that 21 was the right age for a girl to be married that he had made a mistake already by getting me into a relationship at 18…I was moved by the way he had reasoned…and tried my best to keep it going…"

Turning away from me she continued. Was she ashamed? I turned to pull her back, but she resisted and I didn't want to force her for the moment.

Geet:"Right after three years, he started travelling like crazy…I used to spend months alone at home without him and his mom would keep me company. My account had money to keep me going. No calls…no complaints. He stayed with the offshore company that year for 5 months at one stretch. I was only glad that I was not being forced to face my fears"

She was sobbing now and I had to hold her…I sat up and she followed to come close to lean on my shoulders; she pulled the covers to keep herself warm.

Maan:"Geet…Please ro mat…I don't want your infection to get worse now…"

Nodding in acknowledgement, she went on with her life story.

Geet:"When he did come back…I was on a fast track course in my MS and had to move closer to the Univ to be able to cover the time at the library and extra classes. I was staying with a couple of girls in an apartment close by…I went back every two or three weeks, but once again…there was his new business partner he was close to. I didn't understand his relationship and we fought…the distane, the time we had spent to understand…nothing helped…We rarely kissed…"

Her voice broke down with that statement and I didn't know if it was a good idea to let her go on…she did anyways.

Geet:"I'm sorry Maan that you have to hear this…there was just no passion…I didn't know if I restricted myself from being close to him…but I just couldn't. The interesting thing is after that slap, he never pursued. I don't know if he really had an affair…was he really guilty about something? I just couldn't take the weirdness of our relationship…because I didn't feel like making it right either…I didn't do anything to make it work after a point…I just couldn't pursue him for it had already crossed onto a vegetative state…Then I took this job in NY…you know what followed…"

It made perfect sense, but why did she hold herself responsible? I had to ask her.

Maan:"Your view point is just plain wrong…I know I'm rude…but think about it…you had not seasoned to handle relationships then…but a man of that age…I mean I would have given you some time for sure…but I would have taken things into my hands after some time…"

<Geet's monologue>

House arrest? The Saturday he had not let me go from this apartment…He was very consistent…he had been the same person even before our marriage. I recollected all our tiffs we had before. He would disappear for days or sometimes weeks, but whenever he would come back, he would make sure we had our differences reconciled…our ego calls ironed flat out. Oh! Maan…I had to hug him then for I was being floored by the dependability he had created in our relationship. I had to explain. I continued to do so as I hugged him.

Geet:"I don't know Maan…may be had I given in at that time…that distane…that coldness would have never come in…Yes other things like my education might not even have come into the picture…but that one instant to not follow him…not to give in…had changed everything…"

<Maan's monologue>

I had to pull her out to face me.

Maan:"I don't want to hear one word more…I don't think you are responsible…its upto you, to process this Geet…But I'm only glad you are with me…I have the confidence you can handle our relationship…so just do it and more than anybody show yourself that you can maneuver through this"

Tears were still flowing down her cheeks, but she had a smile to accompany and the water in her eyes glittered with contentment.

Geet:"I cant believe I'm telling this…never use it against me ok? but I like it when you just take things into your hands…like you did just now…"

She said in a tone filled with adoration. A smile was all I could give as a response, for she had knocked me down that moment. She took the paper to read something. I pulled it from her hand and she didn't let me, that kept me guessing, what she was to say next? It had been a long time I saw that silly smile in her and it was out on display now as she took the paper out that was blocking my view of her face.

Geet:"Selfish huh!...tho kis had tak selfish hain aap…"

That was a deep place she was trying to reach to…I wasn't sure if I could let her in there.

Maan:"Main khudgarz kam…aur dhust zyaada hoon…jahan tak…tumhe kisi se cheen ne ke liye main kisi bhi had tak ghir sakta hoon…Ok Jokes apart…I don't think I would make the same mistake twice…I saw it your eyes…Geet, else I wouldn't have fanned it inside me."

I hoped that didn't sound too condescending and she let out a smirk for she was once again eyeing the letter. She traced her index finger and skipped through the ones that had been discussed earlier. In a softer tone, she called out my name , "Maan" and went on to finish the thought in her head.

Geet:"Ok…I won't feel sorry for myself…"

Clinging to me she leaned in to get comfortable. As she looked through my remarks, I decided I wanted to cover the next one.

Maan:"This is just great progress that we have made…that's all I can say. This only changes things for good…I actually like it that we talked…I'm proud of you Mishti"

Shy that she was I had to take a mental picture of that moment. Ok…the next one got me in trouble and I was offguard.

Geet:"So I'm a goof up…How could you say that about me?...and the very next statement you want to Kiss?"

She screamed "Babaji…" for she had finally said it and I couldn't let go of the break she had given me to get back at that.

Maan:"Geet…vuse kiss nahin…vuse "woh" kehta hain.."

I had to run, for she was now behind me. I was swift and had moved on to the other side of the bed, she was still close enough and threw the pillow at me. Her face brewed with sheepishness and made up a fake cry.

Geet:"Mujhe itna kyon tang karte hain aap…"

She stood there fixed to the spot slumping her shoulders in defeat. I walked back to her for I couldn't resist staying away for a moment longer.

I held her cheeks in my hand and kissed her on the lips and she held me in a passionate hug to kiss me back.

<Geet's monologue>

The moments of passion had disappeared for there were stronger holds on us now. His push on me made me walk back to the bed and he followed closely kissing me all the while. The suddenness of the bed, jerked me and we fell into the comforts of our down comforter. He pulled back for a brief second, but moved on to kiss me by the curve of my neck...while his hands moved to pull the saree off my waist. Something came over him and he pulled back instantly. He turned away and was now on the bed. We lay there to catch our shallow breaths facing the roof. I wanted to check if everything was all right and his smile confimed it.

Time flew by that noon as we sat there discussing the letter and I turned to see that the clock struck 1.30 PM. I excused myself to get to the bathroom.

While I was there, the warm shower invited me and I gave into the temptation…

My thoughts were flooded with the words he had written and spoken that afternoon. Considerate yet powerful, he had said it all with his letter. His confidence in me to carry this relationship forward made me cry, as the water was washing down some part of the blame game I had been part of. Was I only partially responsible for the relationship to have gone down the drain? What situation was I in? For my sentiments fumbled its way to let me realize that had I been successful with my past endeavors, I wouldn't be standing in this very shower…I would have been in somebody else's place and with someonelse…I couldn't stand to bear the thought as it brushed my mind. Was I coursing by destiny? I didn't want to dwell there for there was nothing I could do to make any piece of my past fade away into oblivion. I wanted to live in the moment…I didn't want my past to drag me down the path that would destroy all that I held close and dear now.

I switched gears and the first word that came back to me was "Ecstatic"…and that had been his response to my question about how he felt that moment? He did have a funny way with the letter. I turned down the shower to get out and dry myself.

Hai Babaji...Jaldi mein towel bhool gayi!...Ab main kaise bahar javoon? The door creaked as I opened to peek and the room sounded silent as my grave. I held out my hear to listen in more cautiously and now I was certain, he was not there. A few steps and I would be inside the changing room, but what if he were to enter at the same time? Main tho sharam se mar jaavongi babaji...

I inched the door away to let myself out when I heard him come in and call out to me.

Maan:"Mishti...meeta kam pad raha hain"

Inhe bhi abhi chai banana tha? I cursed my ill luck.

I had to hint him at my wretched situation and so I answered back his call.

Geet:"Ji...main bathroom main hoon...Aap pilijiye ...aur..mera towel bhi dijiye na...wahan table pe raka hain..."

<Maan's monologue>

Did I just hear that? I had never handed a towel to a naked women...How wimpy? Does every man stop to savor this Aha! moment? I wondered for my love for her had turned me into a schmaltzy fur ball and my masculinity edged to the lower end of the scale. Ah! that punctured my ego.

I raced to grab the towel and moved towards the bathroom in a good pace. Standing close to the hinged side of the door I extended the towel to her and even schemed to toy with her.

Unable to see where it was, her hand moved back and forth to grab the same and I pulled her by her arm. She bellowed for she knew what was coming.

Geet:"Maan...please mazak mat kijiye...towel"

She tried to grab once again, but realizing it was going to be a vain attempt…she pleaded now.

Geet:"Please Maan...towel dedijye na..."

I gave in for now she wore a beseeching tone. I took her hand by the wrist and placed the towel on her hand to placate her annoyed self.

To my surprise the towel dropped and I couldn't comprehend what had gone wrong. She didn't call out to get back the towel either and so I knocked and called her attention.

Maan:"Geet…towel kyon giradiya?"

In a flat tone she responded and my narrowed forehead and eyesbrows now relaxed.

Geet:"Nahin maan…wahin balance issues…I'm ok…"

I was worried for I wanted to get to her.

Maan:"Ok…Geet tumhara robe kahan pe hain?"

Geet:"Closet main..." she quickly got back and I hurried to get her the robe.

Maan:"Geet main andar aa raha hoon…Hmmm…my eyes are closed…"

I pulled the door knob and tried to wave aroud the robe to her. Sh grabbed it from my hand and hailed to me.

Geet:"I'm descent Maan…"

She stood there on the steam-misted floor, leaning on the wall with a wide smile. A worried me, walked to catch hold of her. As soon as I held her by her arms, she moved in to hug me and balanced herself by completely throwing her weight on me. Was she ok?

Geet:"Main teek hoon Maan…itni bhi fikar mat kijiye…"

She knew exactly what was in my mind…I had a mental chuckle as when we connected mentally. My arms came around her give her a bear hug and we stood there for a while. I kissed her by the side of her ear and she mimicked to do the same. Hmm Interesting…I pulled back and she was now more stable and I kissed her on her forhead to see if she returned that too. She did and her knee length robe, moved up for she was now standing on her toes. My hands moved to her waist and pulled her as she balanced on her toes to kiss her on the lips...

<Geet's monologue>

We turned as we kissed and now he rested on the wall and I on him. His grip was tighter and our kiss turned feverish. I pulled away as I thrusted my hand on his chest to ask him the question on my mind.

Geet:"If one day was a lifetime…then how long is this?"

<Maan's monologue>

I couldn't answer, for she pulled me by my kurta and shrugged her shoulders inward to give me a passionate kiss that lasted until we had to come back for breath…I read her cues…Was I even reading it right? It was not a question to be answered, for the moment was still nascent…

Something in her eyes moved me that instant and I unbuttoned my kurta and pulled it one rapid movement. She moved a bit to ease as I pulled the white piece of clothing off and she turned in with the same ardor to continue our snog. I stumbled to move towards the shower door and pushed it aside for us to step in and oddly, she moved in with me as we kept at it…I had not expected that given her usual bashful self. I wondered if she would follow my lead if I advanced by a titch.

<Geet's monologue>

It was time to let go, if not my morbid past in its entierity, the restrains that held me far from him. How deep could I delve? I had to know and I needed answers now.

Geet:"Tell me what I'm to you…"

I leaned in to rest my forhead on his and placed my hand on his bare chest as the water eased the pain I was in, for now he had opened the shower.

He came close to give out an alluring whisper.

Maan:"The spark that warms me…my very own nirvana…"

I made him repeat it on and off as we stood under the gushing water from all four sides. Our hands moved in congruous with the passion that drove us at the moment as we kissed. I whispered back, after breaking off for a short while, for now he had to know all that was there on my mind.

Geet:"If I'm all that you say…then I guess I have left you cold…and have impeded our way to our own…."

He completed it for harmony's sake…

Maan:"Nirvana…"

We were stark naked there around the water that numbed our inhibitions momentarily. I didn't want to measure this moment, perturb my notion of nirvana I had achieved only in a literal way. Pieces of clothing removed to inch in a closer and that is what we scaled that day, for some fears still remained to be challenged. It was not the end of sorrow, unlike the Nirvana of another world, but we were content in our world to have ended the shame from our pasts. My smile that acknowleged our state, furnished him with enough fervor to explore the depths of my physical self further. I smirked now for all the somatic barriers that had wilted down. Perhaps the devil itself had indoctrinated that one didn't deserve the other, it had suppressed us from expressing how much the we needed each other and the very binds annihiliated that moment, for I now saw the pent-up need break free and pulse through our lips.

I knew life was not going to post post-its or put up signs to tell me that I was heading the right way, it just gave me the feeling to know so and this was one such moment that gave me that cozy tingle in my stomach to say so. As we stood there holding each other in our naked selves, needing to stagnate and cherish the jourey we had made so far and not wanting to move further made me discern that we were indeed at the emergence of another facet…another dimension of our fellowship…It was a new Genesis…

Sorry for the delay. It did take me quite a bit to write, because, I couldn't make it trashy and had to make sure their first step towards each other in holding their physical relationship came out with some class...at least I felt so. What more than to feel close to the person you love in every way? Its their first step in letting go of the physical barriers, more will follow will remove their mental barriers too. Did I do justice to their first step towards each other? Post and Comment...let me know any way you want, but please do it already...LOL

its all the way to classy love 😉

a very well written piece.👏