New FF: New York times with Maan and Geet - Page 83

different story line from other ff

soo realistic

can u add me to pm list???

wow tht was amazing, n such a long one.

the wait is justified & i liked the way maan opened up to geet

Part 42: Only a heartbeat away…

<Geet's monologue>

The fact that power was out did not make any difference to me on New Year's day. It was my routine to witness the rising sun every year this day. It was something mama and I used to do. She strongly believed that if everything went right on New Year's day then everything was going to follow through well the rest of the year. I know, the power was out, but I was sure that good things were sure to come.

Three weeks ago I was one of the many victims of the big apple but now I was ready to leave the baggage behind. Today I was rejoicing the sun that was bouncing off the buildings and making the snow melt. Why was it different all of a sudden?

I didn't regret last year, the year that taught me that I was incomplete in every way and that I have to cross many more dense jungles, to see the sunrise in the clearing. Here I was in this concrete jungle trying to make my way through people with thicker skins than me, hoping to make it on time for the grand view. I wanted to lead myself in this journey and that very detail was still missing. He overshadowed me in every way.

Anyways it was too much for that morning. I brushed my thoughts aside and enjoyed the view with a warm cup of coffee. My feet were turning blue on the sleet and snow mixture on the patio.

Before I went inside, something made me look up. There he was standing with just his vest and tracks, with a cup of coffee too. His face lighted up with a smile. I didn't know how to react and I walked in with confusion written all over my face.

<Maan's monologue>

At first I didn't notice her standing in the patio. I had a strange feeling to walk out, even though I was not dressed to go out and when I did, I understood the strange pull. She was lost in the sight and in deep thought. I didn't want to call out to her and disrupt her tranquility. She had already showered and was ready to welcome the day ahead. I liked that about her, something very original. This told me that she still kept some pieces of herself from her days in Hoshiarpur. She was walking in and I wasn't sure if I should stop her. I didn't have to, she felt my presence. My morning was powered up already, more than what the caffeine could do to me.

<Geet's monologue>

Meera:"Happy New year Geet…"

She came and hugged me. She had tears around the corner of her eyes.

Geet:"Happy New year Meer, Hey…dekho…main bilkul teek hoon….Aur tum kab aayi…raat ko?"

Meera:"Main toh tabhi aagayi thi, jab MK ne mujhe phone kiye the. Tum kahan thi. I looked around and assumed you must have been….You know…at MK's place…"

That sounded taunting.

Geet:"Haan…vahi pe thi…lekin jaldi aa gayi thi…I didn't see you here. I came in around 12.30 I guess"

Meera:"Oh! I checked around 8.30 you weren't there, so I sent back to Yash's place. I spent the night there…"

She blushed and lowered her head in embarrassment…

Geet:"Details…mujhe saari details chaiye…"

Meera:"Geet…please…kuch nahin hua…teek hain…We talked for some time. He switched on a movie and then we just ended up going to bed."

Geet:"Boring…" and I made a face.

Meera:"Acha…tum baatao…tumhari…details kya hain…"

Geet:"Kya…kuch nahin….Kal kuch nahin hua ta…"

Meera:"Matlab…baki ke din, kuch hota hain…aur sirf kal ko kuch nahin hua tha. Right?"

Geet:"Meer, please…tum bhi na…kuch bhi bol de the ho…"

I seemed upset that she was bringing this up, but why was I? I felt good to know that I meant the world to him, but I was not able to reciprocate and that made me upset every time I thought about it. I know it was only yesterday, but I had lived those moments enough times to know how I ended up feeling. "Tumhari…basha main…hot chocolate….And if you want to hear it my way….tumhe bahuth pyaar karta hoon, aur tumhari saath mera zindagi bithana chahta hoon Geet" I closed my eyes and it ached.

Meera:"Accha…kuch nahin boolongi baba…Aur…MK ko bhi kaane pe bhulana….it will be good if we are all together…aur oopar se yeh power cut bhi"

Geet:"You know what…I feel like I'm part of RENT…that broadway musical…you know how they have that power cut on New Year's day…"

We branched off to discuss the musical as I didn't want to talk about him.

Meer picked up the phone and tried calling him.

Meera:"Lagta hain…MK ke phone mein charge nahin hain….Hmmm…the stairs are too risky, I don't want to get locked out on New year. Elevator bhi kaam nahin kar raha hain….ok…let me go through the emergency stairs"

Geet:"emergency stairs?"

Meera:"Haan…I have one right by the window in my room. It goes to his apartment, not sure which room though."

I didn't even know something like that existed outside Meer's room.

We went to her room and peeped out. It was pretty scary and steep. The stairs were very narrow and were cast iron. They were extending away from the building and one wrong step, could have anyone crack their skull into two.

Geet:"Main try karoon?"

Meera:"Are you sure? I thought you were afraid of heights"

Geet:"Who tho hain…but I have a resolution this year….not to let any of my fears pull me down"

I closed my eyes….babaji, please….mujhe sakthi dee jiye…..I badly wanted to overcome my fear of heights and I was thankful that the opportunity presented right on New Year's day.

I climbed out the window and walked on the ledge holding on the railing.

Neeche mat Dek Geet…Neeche…..and I couldn't help looking. Babaji….yeh! tho bahuth oopar hain….

I started shaking. I made it to the stairs from the ledge. The stairs were too steep and I was able to get half way through, but I couldn't go further. My head was swirling….I was stuck half way. I held onto the railing and stood there frozen.

Meera:"Geet…Are you ok? I asked you not to do it…hamesha….aise hi karthi ho….MK…..MK….Is anyone there?"

Geet:"Tum Kyon nahi…aathi… Maan….Maan…..Koi tho aavo please…."

Meera:"Only one person is supposed to be on the stairs, are you crazy?"

Geet:"Maan…..Maan…."

<Maan's monologue>

Nothing was working. No TV, no music. My laptop charge was gone, and the phone drained dry. The house was getting chillier. I had to make sure that all the windows were closed properly; else the draft wind could make it worse, if the power cut wasn't resolved by the evening. I was entirely cut off from the world. I wheeled in the windows and closed it down as tight as possible. The last one was the bedroom. I went there and closed down the same.

I wanted to lie down for some time. It was getting stuffier.

Geet:"Maan…."

Am I dreaming? Why do I hear Geet shouting?...it was feeble, coming from….not inside the apartment for sure. Where is she calling out to me from? I got up and followed the sound. I went close to the window. She was standing on the emergency stairs and calling out to me. Is she crazy? She was standing there with her eyes closed. I opened the window and called out to her.

Maan:"Geet, tum pagal ho gayi ho kya?...yeh tum kya karne ki koshish kar rahi ho?"

Geet:"Aapko…ghar bhulana tha….New year hain na?"

Maan:"Teek hain, tum vapas chali jao…I will come."

Geet:"Nahin…"

Maan:"Geet yeh zid kya hain?"

Geet:"Yeh zid nahin hain…mujhe dar lag raha hain…I'm unable to move."

Maan:"Teek Hain…mein aa raha hoon…"

Meera:"MK…no…only one person is allowed…"

Maan:"Woh Safety precaution hain…I will take care don't worry…but keep the fire brigade on call."

<Geet's monologue>

That didn't sound well.

He jumped onto the ledge. He came on the stairs and it started shaking vigorously.

Geet:"Maan…mujhe bahuth dar lag raha hain"

I didn't care. I accepted my failure. I was. I could sense him that he was close.

Maan:"Geet…pehle aankhen kolo…"

Geet:"Nahin…main neeche nahin…dek sakthi…"

Maan:"Kolo….neeche mat dekne….here open….look at me"

He was tapping my chin. I was sweating amidst the cold wind that was blowing. My feet were shaking.

Geet:"Nahin….mujse nahin…hogo…"

Maan:"Geet….muj pe yakin hain?...toh aankhen kol kar mujhe dekho"

I opened my eyes and he turned me sideways.

Maan:"Geet…sirf mujhe dekho…aur take one step at a time"

He was holding my hand and I didn't take my eyes off him. I felt safe. Suddenly all my fears were disappearing. I had gotten off the stairs and was on the ledge now. I had moved out of such a fearsome situation, I didn't understand, how could he take control of my situations so well. It seemed like he had mastered the guide to handling me and my troublesome situations. "A guide to Geet Handa". I laughed.

Maan:"What are you laughing about?"

I realized I was being silly during a situation that needed my utmost attention. I carefully watched him, as he guided me across the ledge. His look was not the same as yesterday. He was watching every step we took. I was about to slip, when he helped me balance. He was careful about any physical contact. All of a sudden he was measuring his contact with me?. I didn't understand why it had changed.

I wanted it that way as well. I couldn't handle any closeness with him either.

Maan:"Don't ever do this again"

Meer and Maan helped me climb inside the room. He was about to climb in, when he slipped.

Geet:"Maan…"

I got hold of his hand and pulled him closer. He held me by my upper arm and balanced himself. His grip was too strong that it hurt. He climbed in.

Meera:"Geet, did you get hurt?"

Geet:"Nahin tho…"

Meera:"Toh tera dupatta mein yeh khoon ka daag?"

She pointed to the dupatta part on my shoulder and at the same time, he opened his palm to reveal a splinter of some sort sticking out of his palm. It must have been when transferred from his hand when he held on to me to balance when he slipped. He took it out without wincing, but I did.

Maan:"Yeh…kuch bhi nahin…chota…"

I cut him off.

Geet:"Itna khoon beha raha hai….yeh apke liye kuch nahin…"

<Maan's monologue>

She was concerned, but it was definitely not something worth worrying. I went to the kitchen to run my palm under water. She was already standing next to me with the first aid kit.

We sat near the window seat and she took my hand to dress it.

I was looking at her, for I couldn't take my eyes off her.

Maan:"Yeh sab paagalpan chod ne ka irada hai ki nahin…it should be one of your resolutions."

Geet:"Ji…."

She was silent and her "Ji" was not an acknowledgement. I lifted her chin to get a read off of her. She was upset and her eyes were moist.

Maan:"Geet kya hua?"

Geet:"Yah sab mere vaje se hua…aur who bhi new year's ko."

Maan:"Oh! Please….anyways New Year 's Day is so overrated…tell me how this day is so special all of a sudden"

Geet:"For you everything is overrated and I'm definitely not going to convince you over that. In fact that is one of my resolutions too, not to convince you about eveyrthing"

I couldn't help smile. She still had a long way to go.

I was glad I was here. Their apartment had a gas stove unlike mine. Atleast khane ka bandobast tho hua.

I liked the way, the year started. She was already keeping it interesting. Rescuing her from the emergency stairs? I wonder what was next in the list.

The fact that she knew what I felt for her, made it much easier for me to be around her, but that also was forcing me to put a distance between us. She still didn't acknowledge her feelings for me. I know how she felt, but things would be different if she could say it outright. I was already being lashed by the very thought a hundred times.

Me going crazy for her and her trying to gauge every step of the way? I wondered if this balancing act would cause any new issues for us. I had to talk it out before it could.

She was trying to cut some vegetables for lunch. Meer was inside talking to her friends sending New Year wishes to everyone.

I walked to the kitchen and leaned on the island, next to her.

Geet:"Aapko kuch chaiye?"

Maan:"Nahin Geet…tumse baat karna tha"

Geet:"Boloiye Maan…"

Maan:"Woh….kuch…I mean kal kuch zyaada ho gaya tha."

She turned and walked towards the stove, not giving much attention to what I was saying. My nerves were acting up.

Maan:"Geet….main yahan tumse kuch baat kar raha hoon…"

Geet:"Aur main bhi sun rahi hoon…aap bol rahe the…ki kal kuch …."

Her sentence trailed off and she turned to look at me. For a moment, I was tempted to get close to her.

I shrugged the thought and stayed still. She walked towards me and I was looking away.

Maan:"And I told you I was not going to apologize for the same"

<Geet's monologue>

His eyebrows were narrowed. He was pretty serious.

Geet:"Woh tho aap…"

Kal hi keha chuke the…I was fidgeting. What did he want to tell me? I was nervous.

Maan:"Geet….I will not make you uncomfortable any more….Bas yahi kehna tha."

I continued cutting the vegetables. I didn't know what was upsetting me. When did my own emotions and feelings become so difficult to identify? I turned and looked at him walk away…

Geet:"Aah….."

Maan:"Geet…..kya hua…"

He ran towards me and held my bleeding finger from my side. He ended up being too close to me.

<Maan's monologue>

Yeh hum baar baar itne paas kyon aa jate hain.

She had a pained look on her face. I wondered if it was the cut, or was it me. Was I making her feel so uncomfortable?

I moved away and got her the first aid.

Maan:"Geet, first clean your finger"

I stayed around, but I didn't help her. I wanted to turn the tables to the other side of what nature was dishing out to us. Yes I was glad that she knew my true intentions, but now I had to stay away from her as well? What kind of a fix I had gotten myself into.

Geet:"Maan, yeh mera help kar dijiye na."

She pointed to the vegetables. One blind leading the other, but I was in a better shape to get the job done. It was my palm that was hurt, whereas it was her fingers.

I don't what our relationship is, but around the kitchen she didn't have to tell me anything, it was a perfect chef and sous chef relationship that we had.

The farther I stayed away, the closer she ended up to me. I didn't understand if nature was telling me something. It was always one thing or the other.

I would be washing my hands at the sink, when she would squeeze in for a quick wash, or be it bumping into me within the clearly marked space in the kitchen, or me helping her to get something on the top shelf, or she feeding me to get a taste of whatever was for lunch…I'm sure it would appear very normal for two people cooking in the kitchen, but in those moments, our strong gazes into each other, still zapped us into another world for a very short time.

Am I not supposed to have stopped feeling all this? I mean she already knew what I had for her, but the awkwardness only increased. It was like we were together for the first time.

It was the last straw.

She was mixing the atta for the rotis. She moved to get more water from the jug, when her duppatta slipped from her shoulders and she stepped on it and her foot slipped. She was falling backwards, when I had to pull her by her wrist and yank her from falling. She landed close to me in my arms. Her cheek was touching mine and I couldn't help taking in her scent. Her hair was tickling my nose.

I didn't understand, she didn't move, or probably moved so slowly that it seemed we were frozen. I was not in a position to admire the moment; to me it was about not making it awkward for her.

When she became cognizant of the proximity, she pulled out of the hold and turned away.

There was atta on my shirt, I didn't bother, but I walked out of the kitchen to the window seat that very instant, leaving her to handle everything else.

Somebody knocked at the door and I got it. It was Yash.

Maan:"Yash? How did you get here? The elevators aren't working"

Yash:"Hi MK…Hmmm…No they have overridden the stair's PIN and all the doors are open. I had to climb 13 floors though"

She started laughing and I did too. There was no need for that tamasha that morning.

We all sat down and finished our lunch. I always liked such simple lunches and it only seemed special when she cooked.

We were going around asking eveyone's new year resolutions.

Yash:"Mujhe toh kisi bhi tarah Six pack banana hain…"

Meera:"You are in good shape, and then what else do you need?"

Yash:"Fit rehna, aur six pack are two different things, ask MK, he knows all about it…"

I was blushing.

Meera:"Mine is definitely to finish atleast one class…I was thinking of that dance class. Hamesha beech mein chod de thi hoon…I don't follow through. I want to change that, aur aapka MK?"

Maan:"Hmm…take time and travel is what I was thinking, and perhaps do more random stuff…"

I looked at her. She didn't meet my eyes.

Meera:"Aur tumhara, Geet…"

Geet:"I want to say something…"

<Geet's monologue>

My voice squeaked. I didn't have the guts and I wasn't sure how they were going to receive it.

Meer:"Hmm…Please don't tell me this is your long list of New year resolutions…"

Geet:"No…actually sort of, but listen …"

Yash:"Ok, now I'm going to bed"

Yash screamed seated between Meer's legs as she was seated on the couch.

Geet:"I'm looking for a job in Frisco…I mean San Francisco, I'm thinking to move there"

Meera:"Geet….you are kidding right. If this is one of your jokes, then it's a total PJ…this is not a resolution, it's a decision."

Geet:"No Meer. I'm not joking. It's a resolution in the way that I want to make it alone in this world."

I wanted to know what his reaction was. He was surprised of course had confusion written all over it. He was strangely not angry.

Meera:"Ab jaane ki kya zaroorat hain? Aren't you happy here?...And it's not even a month since all that trauma."

Geet:"Nahin …ofcourse I'm happy and you are my family. But I want to have some time alone for myself, for me to figure out my life."

Meera:"Kya figure out karna hain tumhe…main batati hoon…life is a big zero. By itself, it's nothing, it's got no value; it makes sense only when it's with other numbers…that's all I have learnt. You need people to even figure out life…you just can't run away from everything. You are not going to live in a world where it's just you…you need to learn what you are with respect to others…your personality comes out in different layers, only when you are with people, not when you are amidst four walls…"

Voh mujhe bashan de rahi ti, but I was pretty much done. I was not running away from people. I was only going away from him. I couldn't take it anymore, to have him around and not name what I have for him.

Geet:"Can't I have some time alone in my life?"

That shut her up. I was not rude, but she probably felt that she was stepping boundaries.

Yash:"Geet, this is a big step. There won't be anyone to fall back, even in the case of an emergency"

He was no longer tipsy.

Geet:"Yeah…I know…Common its only 3000 miles and what 6 hrs by flight? I will store you guys as my ICE numbers in my phone. In case something happens to me, you will be first to know. "

Maan didn't like that statement. He got up and went to the kitchen.

He came back and wanted to make a remark.

Maan:"So where is the job? Have you figured out a place to stay?"

Geet:"No…I'm haven't started the search. I wanted you people to know before I go ahead with the search."

Everyone was pretty disturbed and I had ruined the New Year for everyone. He left right after that.

The afternoon and the evening passed in silence with each doing their own stuff to amuse themselves.

I wanted to talk to him and explain to him before night fall, for that matter before it was too late.

I went up to his apartment and this time I took the stairs inside the apartment.

He got the door and immediately turned and walked away.

I walked towards him by the corner wall.

The view was as always beautiful, with the sun going down.

We both spoke at the same instant.

Maan: "Yeh sab kal ka…" Geet:"Jaise aap soch…"

I wanted to talk first.

Geet:"Please main kuch bolna chati hoon."

He was silent.

Geet:"It's not what you think. I have been thinking about this for some time. Here someone or the other…actually you are always there to bail me out of every situation. I just want to spend some time by myself and see how life treats me….Please Maan…mujhe samaj ne ki koshish kijiye.."

<Maan's monologue>

She had a pleading look on her face.

Maan:"Geet….isi shehar main kahin aur reha sakti ho…kisi aur jagah kaam bhi kar sakte ho..vutna door jaane ki zaroorat kya hain?"

Geet:"Nahin Maan…yahan pe tho…there is no gurantee..that what I want is what I will get to do…main voh bhi dek chuki hoon…"

Maan:"Geet….I have not interfered in your life ever since…"

Geet:"Nahin…main sirf aapki baath nahi kar rahi hoon…please mujhe galat mat samajiye…kisi na kisi tarah, I always get your personal touch or your help while dealing with problems…aur rahi baat Meer aur Yash ka…voh bhi toh hamesha mera saath rehte hain…"

I wanted him to understand me more than anything that moment.

Geet:"Mujhe kuch banna hain…I need to know what I'm capable of and what not."

Maan:"Mujhe phir bhi…"

I didn't understand why I wanted him to agree with me. It felt like I was asking his permission.

Maan:"Kyon…tumhe dar lag raha hain?....ki yahan rehkar mujse…"

He simple smiled.

Geet:"Kyon….aapko dar lag raha hain?…ki aapka khayal vutni door nahin pahunch payega"

Maan:"Baat mera khayal ka nahin hain…tumhari safety ka…"

My sentence had done it. He was neither angry nor supported it. He did appear frustrated though.

Maan:" Teek hain…Tumhari zindagi hain…jo karna hain karlo…"

<Maan's monologue>

I had already accepted what was to come. If this was to give her more clarity around her priorites in life then I welcomed it.

<Geet's monologue>

His sentence didn't make me happy and I didn't know why, but I was determined to find out what life wanted to make of me when I had no one to help or be around.

I knew I was doing this at the cost of whatever I was sharing with him, but I didn't want to end up in a relationship just because I could. I didn't want to fit into life's regular plan for me, study, work, get married and have a family. I was sure there was more to it. What drove me? Is it life's simple pleasures or was it having a career and have a place for myself in this world? I didn't know now, but I would soon find out.

It was a journey of three thousand miles, but only a heartbeat away from him…his thoughts.

Hello people. Thanks for all the kind PM's and responses to the previous post. Sorry I couldn't update last night coz I was in Frisco and it was too late by the time I got back home. This part is also very crucial to the story. Hope you all like it. Please comment.