Gossip Girl Season 4, Ep8 Full Recap & video

In previous seasons of Gossip Girl, we've complained that this show's writers didn't know how to sustain a plot over a believable period of time—storylines like Dan getting involved with a high school teacher came and went far too quickly, with little buildup and even fewer consequences. Now, though, we'd argue that the writers don't know when to end a plot. Eight episodes into the season, we still don't know why Juliet's bad brother Ben is trying to ruin Serena's life—and frankly, by now, we don't care.

In any case, the episode wasn't a total wash. As usual, Blair and Chuck were its saviors. They spent the hour sleeping together, vowing to stop sleeping together, and then doing it again. By its end, they were still locked in their "I-hate-you-but-I-love-you" dance, a development we expect to see continue until they finally get back together.

Serena and Colin also have a fairly tumultuous hour. Though they're still supposedly trying to "stay away" from one another until his class is over, they ride to Columbia in the same cab and make tentative plans to go away together for a weekend. Serena really is not well versed in the best ways not to have sex with someone. By the middle of the episode, she's "broken up" with the guy she wasn't technically dating because she's become convinced that if he really wanted to be with her right away, he'd quit his job for her. An entirely reasonable thing to think!

Then there's Nate, who's in for a nasty surprise when he goes to Juliet's apartment building to give her back some stuff she left at his place—only to find out that she lied about where she lived. He's so upset that he turns to Vanessa, of all people, to ask her to help him figure out what Juliet's deal is.

While Juliet and Nate chat, Vanessa manages to break into her rival's apartment. Nate, still not the brightest diamond at Harry Winston, actually comes away from their talk having forgiven Juliet, after she tells him that she only lied about where she lived because she didn't want him to know she's so poor that she lives in Harlem and—gasp!—does her own hair.

Vanessa, though, ignores the text Nate sends her saying that she should stop snooping. She's lucky enough to find the incriminating photos Juliet secretly took of Serena and the professor, and dumb enough to come back to Juliet's place later. Vanessa tells J that she has the photos, then confesses that she's actually more interested in bringing Serena down than she is in revealing Juliet's duplicity. Juliet, though, has had a change of heart because of Nate—she's even told Colin that she's through with seeing brother Ben. Regardless, Vanessa leaves with the photos.

The big party this week is a gala to celebrate the opening of the ballet. Serena goes with Dan, since Colin's supposedly out of the picture. Blair, bizarrely, arrives with Colin—he had come to her apartment looking for Serena, and B pretended that he was her date in an attempt to make Chuck jealous. Somehow, Vanessa is there too, though we're not sure how a random NYU student and Brooklyn-dweller got into this supposedly swanky event.

Anyhow, before long, Serena has crushed Dan by getting back with Colin—after the professor tells her that he's quit his job so that he can be her boyfriend. Ugh, seriously? Then Vanessa tries to tell the Dean of Columbia about the photos of Serena and Colin, only to be stopped by Juliet. Vanessa soon converts J back to the dark side, though, by saying that Nate knew about her plan to break into J's apartment.

Upon hearing that tidbit, Juliet marches over to the Dean herself and tells her that Serena's carrying on a relationship with a professor. Coincidentally, she happens to do so in full earshot of the rest of the cast, who soon spring into action and concoct a story about how Blair was the one who was actually having an affair with Colin—see, it would be okay for Blair to do this because she doesn't already have a history of supposedly trying to trade sex for grades, unlike Serena. The Dean, who must hate every one of these spoiled brats with the fire of a thousand suns, says she isn't going to discipline anyone and walks away.

Juliet is left with nothing. Colin cuts her off for plotting against him, and Chuck-Serena-Blair-Nate tell her that she'd better not show her face at Columbia again. How are these people still trying to exile other people from places they have no real control over? In any case, J is so desperate now that at the end of the show, we see that she's formed an alliance with Vanessa and someone else with enemies on the Upper East Side—is it Georgina?? Unfortunately, no; it's Jenny. This is truly a meeting of the minds.

Oh, also, Nate tells Serena that he wants her to give him a second chance, and Dan obviously wants the same thing. Considering she's just forced a man to leave his job for her, we're hoping she chooses neither of them.

P re cape ............The Witches of Bushwick

Chuck hosts a "Saints and Sinners" masquerade party at the Empire Hotel. At the party, Dan and Nate don't know what to make of Serena's strange behavior and mixed messages. Blair sets her sights on becoming the new face of Anne Archibald's foundation for girls, but Anne is concerned that Blair's friendship with Chuck Bass may be problematic.