Commentator Replies

The target of your anger should be male domination through the institution of patriarchy rather than the women who try to escape its worst manifestations.

Know that religion and patriarchy are closely imbricated. Centuries ago, the men who wished to retain gender power wrote the scriptures and made all the religious rules. Their successors wield religion as a weapon over your heads and control you with its strictures. God, if there is one, would never have inscribed such inequality into the rulebook.

Those men who impose their will on their wives, or allow their parents to do so, are not "the" "real" men. A husband who understands you and who respects your point of view is - contrary to the conservative thinking many of us have had dinned into us - not an "emasculated" man, but a considerate and caring one. There are many such men, who will allow you to be equal partners in the journey of life. Never give up hope that you will find one.

I hope for all of you who still have big choices to make that you will make them in as empowered a way as possible. Respect yourselves and you will be respected in return.

C

Very well said. God is equal for everyone. Totally agree with your views

Wow good to read ur post after a long long time, brilliant as usual!!

Brilliant post C. I agree with everything you have said here .I have always believed and have been made to believe by every male member of my family ( Grandfather , father , most of all my husband , Uncles , brother in laws , sons ) that men and women are absolutely equal in every respect .

Those men who impose their will on their wives, or allow their parents to do so, are not "the" "real" men. A husband who understands you and who respects your point of view is - contrary to the conservative thinking many of us have had dinned into us - not an "emasculated" man, but a considerate and caring one. There are many such men, who will allow you to be equal partners in the journey of life. Never give up hope that you will find one.

👏👏

Brilliant post C.Exactly what I understand from history.

@gauri: What i understand from history means ?

Relating your post to the Varsha situation ...it is very sad what happened .

Truly brilliant post, thoughts very well put in words.

C, After a very long time lol😆

Agree with you on the equality of men and women.

as far as Varsha is concerned, i think she could have handled it differently, and the way CVs presented the situation was wrong. As a viewer, i can't help but dislike what she did, and this is the fault of irresponsible creatives. Abortion is a major issue, and needs to be dealt with a certain amount of sensitivity. As far as anyone imposing their views on her, well she owed Satish at lease a talk about the issue.

Originally posted by: commentator

I'm older than most forum members, happily married to a loving man who sees me as his equal, and have a humanities PhD and a graduate certificate in women's and gender studies from a reputed university in the US. On all these counts I see myself as at least adequately qualified to comment on issues related to women, their socialization, marriage, family life, etc. and in particular, on the very dangerous ways in which they are often represented in television serials.

Some words to young readers and friends on the recent arguments about Varsha:

The target of your anger should be male domination through the institution of patriarchy rather than the women who try to escape its worst manifestations.

Your intellect is the source of your strength; pay heed to its bidding. Hostility towards intellectual women is one of the first hallmarks of sexism.

Recognise the ways in which brainwashing works and learn to question and rethink the ideas that have been inculcated into you as being "suitable" for women.

Know that religion and patriarchy are closely imbricated. Centuries ago, the men who wished to retain gender power wrote the scriptures and made all the religious rules. Their successors wield religion as a weapon over your heads and control you with its strictures. God, if there is one, would never have inscribed such inequality into the rulebook.

Those men who impose their will on their wives, or allow their parents to do so, are not "the" "real" men. A husband who understands you and who respects your point of view is - contrary to the conservative thinking many of us have had dinned into us - not an "emasculated" man, but a considerate and caring one. There are many such men, who will allow you to be equal partners in the journey of life. Never give up hope that you will find one.

I hope for all of you who still have big choices to make that you will make them in as empowered a way as possible. Respect yourselves and you will be respected in return.

C

g8 post....very well said