Chicken soup for cynical soul (Upd:Page #11,07Dec) - Page 6

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"Sir, is this right?" She asked inviting herself into his cabin.

"What?" He asked her distractedly without looking up from the draft proposal he was reading.

"You want me to book you an appointment for spa this weekend?" The surprise in her tone was evident.

"Yes. What about it?" He replied blatantly ignoring her and continued reading.

"It's weird." She replied quite obviously.

"It's quite common for a metro sexual man to hit the spa every once in a while", he responded after dropping the draft on the table and picking up coffee.

"Is metro sexual same as heterosexual?" Came an innocent question from the lady who was honestly pondering about new word she had just heard. Maan hyperventilated and spewed coffee all over the draft document which he had printed out after spending twenty three minutes in front of printer. He had come to a conclusion that the printer in his cabin was dehumanized Geet; it didn't obey orders, did whatever it wanted to do in its own time frame and basically made him cringe and seethe most of the times. Of course to get his work done, he always cajoled it and when no one was looking, he even cooed and crooned so that it would fire a bloody print out.

"What?" She asked cleaning his table.

He took deep breaths.

"Over my dead body. Why don't you Google it?" He replied as calmly as possible.

"Actually something seems to be wrong with my computer. I am not able to connect to internet starting this week. It's Thursday already and network engineers don't seem to know the problem. Isn't that weird?"

He did an internal victory dance. It was all done by him of course. He had dropped by network engineer's workstation first thing Monday morning and simply ordered to revoke Geet's internet access.

"But sir, what shall I reply when she asks me to fix it?" He had asked Maan with a hint of fear in his voice. Geet for all her innocence was mostly liked by all. But her wrath was something no one was fond of.

"Do I look like I care? Use all the knowledge you have accumulated as years if network engineer and throw some buzz words and few jargon which would make her think that it's impossible to fix it for the time being", he had replied.

"Okay, if she keeps asking me again and again? I might run out of jargon. Or worse she might Google it on someone else computer", poor sod replied shuddering a little.

"Then tell her how overworked you are and how you are slaving for the company. Shed few fake tears and she will totally buy it", Maan replied smugly.

"Okay sir. It's possible that she might escalate it to you", network engineer replied.

"Don't worry about that. I will keep her occupied." He hadn't meant them to come out as an innuendo but the words were out before he could censor them. He cursed under his breath and saw that the network engineer was blatantly smirking at him. He was pissed.

"Make sure that none of this gets traced back to me. If she finds out that I was one who got her internet access revoked, you might as well look for a job in small alleys where sun don't shine", he snarled the last sentence and walked out.

Network engineer thought that looking for a job was an excellent idea. He was going die either in hands of Geet or in hands of Maan anyway.

"What's weird about going to a spa?" He asked her stupidly. It irked him every time she did something like this; the way she patronized him unknowingly.

"Men should be men", she replied vaguely. He wanted to tear his hair out. Actually he wanted to pull her hair till she yelled in pain.

"What do you mean? How is it a dent on masculinity if eyebrows get blessed by tweezers?" He argued.

"I don't know Sir! It's just not-right", she replied and nodded in satisfaction about her self-perceived explanation. He sighed.

"Geet, metro sexual man is all about that; he looks good, hits a salon or a spa quite frequently and takes care of himself as good as a woman." He explained his point of view patiently.

"I see." She hummed in response.

She looked deep in thought. Maan cleaned his table of the mess he had made after spewing coffee all over and hoped that printer behaves when he would beg it to give him the printout. He sighed at the thought of his own miserable and groveling self in front of the printer when Geet dropped a nuke.

"Does it hurt when they wax your arms?"

He banged his head on table.

"Geet…"

"It always hurts me. I don't know why though. My friend says that it's because I have a sensitive skin. My skin goes all red and it hurts for a day or two; especially when I take shower", she talked to him as if she was talking to her best girl friend. Never had anyone destroyed his masculinity in that way. He honestly didn't want to answer her. But the words came out of his mouth as soon as his eyes fell upon her curious face. He cursed his soft corner for her and he cursed her for what she was.

"Well there are some lotions and creams that you can apply after waxing which brings down that burning sensation." He replied banging his head on table.

"Really? Wow, sir, you do know everything. Can you tell me the names? Maybe I should start using them too. Also if you know what to use after they pluck eyebrows? Can I use the same products?" She asked him eagerly, pen poised and ready to note down whatever names he came up with.

He wondered what would be next. They might go home, eat chocolates, braid each others hair, paint their nails and giggle over hot guys and nerdy men. He wanted the Earth to swallow him at that moment. But looking at the eager face, the absolute blunder of his masculinity was shoved under the carpet.

"Why don't we go together to the spa this time? They must have something for couples there", he said casually. Of course she took the bait.

"We can go together?" She exclaimed in sheer happiness. Invariably without realizing what he was doing, he was already returning her smile. She had noted the word "couple" that he had casually thrown and had not objected it nor had she made a fuss about it. It tickled him when she did something like this; the times when she didn't question

"Sure you can. Let me call them", he took out his phone to place that call.

"No", she stopped him.

Something solid suddenly settled in his stomach with her rejection. He hated that feeling.

"Let me call them and tell them that we will be coming on Saturday. Is 11 AM alright for you? Will you pick me up from my house then? I don't know that place and oh yeah, what should I wear when I go there? I don't know if…?"

She rambled on happily about the little trip they were taking to spa and he could only look at her in an unexplainable satisfaction.