My Poems:) - Page 4

Originally posted by: a little faith

Dear Shinz

Forgive me as I do not remember if we spoke before, but I will not forget you now.😳 I always seek out that light that eludes my grasp. Poetry, one of the finer forms of art. I seek its enjoyment through my unsuccessful efforts and its perfecting light through others. Thank you for the pm

No, i believe that we really have not spoken before. True, poetry for me is not an art, but an indulgence, something that i need to do. It is no longer a matter of creativity but is alas a necessity; to sometimes vent out, sometimes express what i cannot in the normal course. While writing poems, I let myself loose without any inhibitions and insecurities, no worries of facing judgments. Its a need.

I loved how you took the expected, 'I wish I could fly far beyond the sky' and added atmosphere by separating that 'reach far beyond' and 'soar into the sky'. You reminded us that it is not only the physical flight but the spiritual one too, as well as their horizons. Magnificent.

I loved this line, 'what is difficult to put in words, and yet more difficult in my heart to keep,'
This was insightful indeed. Your precision in noting those peculiar and 'missed' emotions that reside fleetingly but have the influence of an eternity. Brilliant.

This is perhaps one of my favorite line too if i say so myself. Isn't it true how sometimes we want to say things that we just cannot. I don't know what we regret more, saying things that and then repenting at what was said or not saying the things and repenting what we could have said. Words spoken, feelings expressed are so conflicting sometimes.

I loved '"the dawn, the dusk, the evening twilight, each so unique and yet so complete,"
Succinctly and beautifully you captured 'missed' opportunities, the many and diverse chances that are freely open to us.
My intent to express through this line was that if we look at the phenomenons surrounding us.... Look at the dawn, dusk, twilight, midnight...anything and everything is dependent on another and yet is surreal in its own self. It needs nothing else to "exist" but needs supporters to "survive". Strange but true.

Finally that last verse reminding us our human weakness, essence of desire the fuel of wishes, that is more, we always want more! We wish that if we had this and that, this thing and that emotion, this chance and that opportunity we could finally live, when we could easily begin living right now with ALL that we have been granted already. Superb.

Thank you Sabah. This poem was not about wanting more, it was about filling what is blank. We all very often try to attain a certain kind of life or lifestyle unaware of the fact that it is us who can attain it to. if we have the desire, we need to realize it and then fulfill it.... only those who wish and dream have the power to go and get it.

I loved the manner you lit up the word 'wish' but illuminated its aspect of missing; missed opportunities, chances and feelings; missed emotions. Most infer with wish the future only, but you remind us that it is linked to our past. Excellent!

As for take me as I am, I won't say anything, for the form was good but alas I am at odds with its substance. It is not about wrong or right, just different temperaments. We have different definitions of love. As this is not about my way of thinking, nor a post to discuss your way either, but a thread for betterment, I will move on.

Hmm.. Well, I can understand that. unlike other themes and notions, love is perhaps one of those few which is felt , seen, regarded and perceived differently by different people. A farewell, the pain and hunger, dreams and desires are all things that apart from the top layer show similarities in individuals but alas, Love.... It is something complicated...
For me, it is the act of being accepted and being cherished... This is what my poem conveys.......Above all this poem was not written keeping a lover in mind...No. This was written for my friends....... who love me for who i a, whimsy and clumsy yet their friend. It is not always about love i guess..... it is friendship this time and the question of belonging to your group or friends.

I loved how you chose a difficult subject to broach, and jumped into the deep end of emotions. I loved 'the words just form on my lips and freeze, not wanting to be spoken and becoming the final speech' Just beautiful!

I loved 'to feel safe in the embraces of the ones i know." Reminding us of why we part, so that we may grow in new soil, uprooting ourselves for a better buds, better flowers, thereby better fragrance for our loved ones too. We risk much but in hopes of grander still.

I am in 12th, very soon will i have to leave behind my school, a home of 14 years to me, my teachers, my friends, our gang mastis... Everything will change, i will meet new people, see anew world... It is exciting, intriguing and yet sad. I can understand this pain very well now. the way all of us have started counting these last days, trying to fix all the laughs, tears, and pranks in our minds so that we may never forget them and as the last moments are soon approaching, we are all fearful thinking about which moment will be the last.... I have now accepted the fact, that i will never ever be given a chance to live this carefree, funfilled life of my school ever again....It is time for a goodbye.

Very beautiful. Excellent execution upon all three. Well done.
Thank you. I am glad you liked them.

I have left a few things unsaid, as I am unsure of the level of honesty and type of response you would like. If you wish me to edit and add them, please pm me.

It is ok... Do PM me all that you have to say. Different views are always a treat to read, for i consider them not as opposing and discouraging... But as means of broadening my horizons.

Love Sabah
😃