Posted:
Sorry guys, was a bit distracted. Thinking about my upcoming exams and the one I just finished giving up this morning. I wonder who created the concept of exams? Idiot! đ So, my apologies if I wasn't up to my mark! đł
Here goes nothing:
I told him. I told him everything. The betrayal. The embarrasement. Cried my heart out to him.
The only thing he could say: "Mujhe Toh Laga Key Tum Sirf Meri Ho!"
I told him the biggest truth of my life and he could come out with just THAT!
What does that mean? Can't he see the love in my eyes? Did not he say he could read honesty in my eyes? Why is it so hard for him to accept that I'm his? Only his.
Or is it because of the life growing inside me? Is he not ready to accept it? Will he accept it? Afterall, it's not his, so how could he - ? No man will ever do that.
No. I can't stay here anymore. I can't make Maan Sir's life a living hell. It would be better if I simply just leave. Besides, I do not think he will accept me after this. It is already too hard to find the key to his heart. I'm tired of fighting with him.
He stopped me, today. Why did not I simply leave? He put the ring back on my finger. His eyes told me what my heart wanted to know, but he did not say anything! How could I know for certain what's in his heart? Why can't I bring myself to ask? Why is it when it comes to Maan Sir, I simply stop thinking!
He got angry, because I did not say anything front of those people! I did not want to marry Bunty! How could he even think that!? How, how can I say it when he spends half of his time bullying me? Of course, our engagement is fake. He never really proposed to me! Not officially. He never said ... 'I LOVE You, Geet'. He always take my words the wrong way and we always end up having an arguement. What does he think I am?
"Kab Tak. Kab Tak Hum Is Jhoote Mangetar Kay Natak Kay Peechey Chupte Rehein Ge, Geet? Kab Tak Hum Apne Aap Se Chood Bolte Rehein Ge? Kay Humein Sirf Or Sirf Yeh Choodi Mangni Chodti Hai. Kuch Aur Nahin? Aur Humarein Beech Yeh Jo Unkaha Ehsaas Hai, Isey Mein Toh Nahi Jhootla Nahin Sakta. Kya Tum! Bolo Geet! ..."
I try to tell him, but Oh god, why is it so hard? I'm scared. Does not he know how hard is it for me to say the words? He is a man, it must be easy for him, but - In my eighteen years, I have never said these words to anyone! Not even Dev, who I gave my heart and soul to.
Today, when I found him. The one. I simply cannot bring myself to say it.
It is not like I do not want to confess my feelings to him. I do want to tell him how much in love with him I am. I just do not want to go through an other embarrasement again. No. Never again! But Maan Sir, he is not him.
He is not my past. He is my present and hopefully, my future. He accepted me with my past and I still kept my feelings under control. Now, not any more. I will not make him wait any longer. I will tell him what's in my heart. I will tell him what he wants to hear; 'Maan Sir, I love you!'
"Ab Na Koi Bandish, Aur Na Koi Bandhan!"
Here goes nothing:
I told him. I told him everything. The betrayal. The embarrasement. Cried my heart out to him.
The only thing he could say: "Mujhe Toh Laga Key Tum Sirf Meri Ho!"
I told him the biggest truth of my life and he could come out with just THAT!
What does that mean? Can't he see the love in my eyes? Did not he say he could read honesty in my eyes? Why is it so hard for him to accept that I'm his? Only his.
Or is it because of the life growing inside me? Is he not ready to accept it? Will he accept it? Afterall, it's not his, so how could he - ? No man will ever do that.
No. I can't stay here anymore. I can't make Maan Sir's life a living hell. It would be better if I simply just leave. Besides, I do not think he will accept me after this. It is already too hard to find the key to his heart. I'm tired of fighting with him.
He stopped me, today. Why did not I simply leave? He put the ring back on my finger. His eyes told me what my heart wanted to know, but he did not say anything! How could I know for certain what's in his heart? Why can't I bring myself to ask? Why is it when it comes to Maan Sir, I simply stop thinking!
He got angry, because I did not say anything front of those people! I did not want to marry Bunty! How could he even think that!? How, how can I say it when he spends half of his time bullying me? Of course, our engagement is fake. He never really proposed to me! Not officially. He never said ... 'I LOVE You, Geet'. He always take my words the wrong way and we always end up having an arguement. What does he think I am?
"Kab Tak. Kab Tak Hum Is Jhoote Mangetar Kay Natak Kay Peechey Chupte Rehein Ge, Geet? Kab Tak Hum Apne Aap Se Chood Bolte Rehein Ge? Kay Humein Sirf Or Sirf Yeh Choodi Mangni Chodti Hai. Kuch Aur Nahin? Aur Humarein Beech Yeh Jo Unkaha Ehsaas Hai, Isey Mein Toh Nahi Jhootla Nahin Sakta. Kya Tum! Bolo Geet! ..."
I try to tell him, but Oh god, why is it so hard? I'm scared. Does not he know how hard is it for me to say the words? He is a man, it must be easy for him, but - In my eighteen years, I have never said these words to anyone! Not even Dev, who I gave my heart and soul to.
Today, when I found him. The one. I simply cannot bring myself to say it.
It is not like I do not want to confess my feelings to him. I do want to tell him how much in love with him I am. I just do not want to go through an other embarrasement again. No. Never again! But Maan Sir, he is not him.
He is not my past. He is my present and hopefully, my future. He accepted me with my past and I still kept my feelings under control. Now, not any more. I will not make him wait any longer. I will tell him what's in my heart. I will tell him what he wants to hear; 'Maan Sir, I love you!'
"Ab Na Koi Bandish, Aur Na Koi Bandhan!"
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