Story-KISSA ULJHE SWALO KA(UPDATED-6th Aug Pg-27) - Page 20

Bhinder, did u write the poem u were supposed to???😉

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thank god abhi dikhi..

Edited by jiya1 - 13 years ago

Koi ton story padhkar comment de do yar 😕 😔

Too good Bhinder... 👏 👏
After many days i read a non-officer centric story...and it was one of the best stories of its kind!!!.⭐️ 👏 Proper utilisation of the newcomers as well...Thankfully, you managed to keep TRIo together throughout. Your narration is always very clear. 👏 👏 The way Viivek handled that old man was very touching😳 . You used Forensics properly. It was good to see..Salunke very properly handled.Best part was that forensic experts are in white coat 😃 Abhi-Daya small moments were present..TRIO moments were also visible... The suspense was kept alive. Disguise scenes were also present which was good to see.

Overall, a superb story!!!Awesome plot...👏 . Mind refreshing..... 👏     👏 Edited by Shagnika - 13 years ago

Very busy these days I had now two stories to read on this forum. So there can be delay from my side in commenting. But will surely give review

Hm. well ure story reminded me of the two story contests and a mixture of soem sudhakar-asha era cases. Really well done. thode confusion in places but overall a masterful handling. really nice characterizations. d dialogues were bit tough for mr, my hindi being not that gud, but i liked it. but ek suggestion- plz leave space between each dialogue

eg- acp- freddy ka promotion...

      daya-bhaabhiji ki .....

       abhi-.....


(like this. just an instance )

well done! keep it up!

it's a good story bhinder.😊 but u can do much better. the encounter scene should be more descriptive. the disguise scene ended too quickly. the way of murder is an interesting one, but not new. we saw it in an old CID episode.  that doesn't matter, two murderers can obviously adopt the same way for murder. but it should be mentioned that Rohit was a psychiatrist, so he knew hypnotism. otherwise the story is quite good👏. loved the light-moment of trio at end and the little imotional moment of Abhi-Daya. keep it up!👍🏼 Edited by shreela - 13 years ago

awesome bhinder..but too long!! n a nice story!

Originally posted by: shreela

<font size="2">it's a good story bhinder.😊but u can do much better. 1.the encounter scene should be more descriptive.2. the disguise scene ended too quickly.3. the way of murder is an interesting one, but not new. we saw it in an old CID episode. that doesn't matter, two murderers can obviously adopt the same way for murder. but it should be mentioned that Rohit was a psychiatrist, so he knew hypnotism. otherwise the story is quite good👏. loved the light-moment of trio at end and the little imotional moment of Abhi-Daya. keep it up!👍🏼 </font>

Thanks shruti for Liking story and giving wonderful and constructive comments ...Let me Clear my points 😆

1. In Written it could not be written more than that... I mean it will look dull and boring if i write live commentary of Fighting So better leave it on Direction... that how director direct the scene..
2. Disguise Scene was necessary there and I put in flavor as much it was needed.. it could have been extended but i felt like it is enough ..
3.yeah!! I came to know it.. someone PM me and told me.. I read this way of murdering somewhere actually ...did not know it been used already but never the less if Professional Creative can cross cities, can't we cross roads   😆 ..
4. Rohit was Doctor and thats why knew the Hypnotism...

@Shruti Thanks thanks a lot for writing your doubts and providing me opportunity to clear those 😊