Let's be honest, are men actually like Dutta?

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oddgalout

@oddgalout

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: kshreya2002

And it seems to be a two way thing. While I think Naku (naturally) notices how darn good looking he is (or as she says 'sundar' lol) but it all seems to be quite secondary to her. More so it's his innocence and vulnerability that she is drawn too - the side of him no one in the rest of the PM is aware of - the part of Dutta that he was before he became a don is still alive somewhere deep inside and she has seen through his rough exterior into the depths of that young vulnerable Dutta. Which I figure also is part of the fantasy factor. Because in real life sure while we would appreciate and be attracted to those internal characteristics it isn't exactly like we would be altogether unaware of appearance and external charisma.

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SonyaBlade

@SonyaBlade

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#12

I think we also have to look at this scenario in the perspective of why Naku and Dutta are even attracted to each other..

For Naku - she fell in love with him almost instantly..it was essentially love at first sight. He saved her from the bad man Moray and she was lost. It's as simple as that....she fell in love with him based on his being her savior....He's a damn good looking savior that's for sure so I'm sure that helped when she fell head over heels for him.

As for Dutta - he befriended a girl whom he knew had no one in her life other than her family. He saved her, she saved him w/o thinking of her family or herself so he paid her back by giving her a job. Then he started to talk to her......then she started to talk to him......even when he didn't want to hear what she had to say she would say it anyways. She was the only person who wasn't afraid of him. He didn't care what she looked like becuase he never looked at her with eyes other than those of friendship. When we make our friends I don't think anyone cares what they look like, especially if they help you out in atime of need and you know yo ucan depend on them. There the friendship is made. So that's why he was able to talk to her so easily, express his thoughts and his feelings ot her, becuase he trusted her as a friend. Dutta never loved her in a romantic way......its only after she declared her love that he's started to think about stuff...think about their relationship and the two fo them togehter......he still hasn't admitted anything to himself in regards to his love for her, because he's still not sure whether he loves her or not........THIS kind of love could happen to aNYONe....where you aren't thinking you are going ot fall in love with a person, but IT JUST HAPPENS.......

I think there are many guys out there who think they want beautiful partners.....but some of them do falll in love with the opposite to what they;ve dreamed of and its just that....it just happens and no one can help it......or has the will to help it.

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@ImmaculateDream

Sparkler

Posted: 15 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: oddgalout
Dutta's likes are the rare type that are a sort of a combination of both of best worlds and so quite honestly I don't think a good 95% of us would've found anything particularly great in him if he didn't have the good looks and charm as part and parcel of his character. We would've ultimately seen him as the average/ugly sweet guy - sadly almost like the 'nice loser' a la SRK's character in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi who gets lucky with having a ugly ducking who is actually beautiful fall for him. It wouldn't have been nearly as magical and so darn appealing like it currently is. And it's not just his looks - it is the power factor too. Just the way the guys are notoriously known to be drawn good looks I'd say we are drawn to the power factor - hence that strange appeal with these don type love stories. A good looking guy with a power factor more then doubles the appeal factor. So in the bigger picture we (and in particular men) just historically and universally are quite a superficial species - ouch.

Thats What! Look does matter not only for Men but for Women also. u have nailed it right, if dutta isnt shown to be a good looking guy then most of us would have found it difficult for liking him like the way he do now, we cant get away with this truth .. LOOKS do matter not only for men but for women as well. If we wouldn't have aware abt nakusha hidden truth we might not be this much interested, no matter how much we appreciate The characters no matter how much we recognizes the beauty of their hearts ... IF one has a good looking factor it doubles the interest. and i dont find anything wrong in that .. its human nature.

now coming to the topic, well i agree with shreya here. Young Men even women are more attracted towards the physical appearance no matter how much goodness their heart contains. but then time and experience makes them realize the bitter truths of life which manages to change their attitude. As afterall physical appearance is mortal while goodness is immortal.

Men like dutta does exist! Usse bhi zyada smart banday dekhay hain yaar.. who doesnt have beautiful wives but they are the most happiest ppl on earth. Ab how and why i dont know. but if we look from Dutta's POV then it will be easier to understand. He liked seema who was Said to be beautiful... he fell for the fake goodness and offcourse Looks were also apart of it. ( woh alag baat hai ki i never found seema nor supriya beautiful , ab beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder)
😊 ... but destiny had something else stored for him n he got the biggest betrayal of his life, he was cheated by the women he claimed to love. Terrible it was for dutta but it has made him look beyond whatever he always had believed or seen .. may be he hasnt seen enough ... n that has made him look and appreciate things beyond physical appearance.
If he would have met this nakusha before seema, he would have been the same person appreciating nakusha for being a wonderful person. but yes he couldn't be able to give a thought of her becoming a part of his life if gals like seema or supriya were already there to grab his attention in those days of young-hood.

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Gauri

@sunshine21

Explorer

Posted: 15 years ago

#14

Anu, don't lose heart coz i feel the same way as you....I think Dutta is an average looking guy and its character with its power factor that's more appealing....in fact i think if he was a really handsome guy , it would have made the whole thing too true to beleive....so I guess its his character that's more appealing....and naku in her present avatar is also not bad, in fact she's grown on me and i find her quite attractive except of course for the bad teeth... As far as the question about looks being important , I think its no longer a men/women issue...I feels its just that men are more open and verbal about their feelings about looksand being attracted to good lookin women...Women are also equally judgemental and I have met quite a few who have placed unnatural importance on looks .....Also bad looks necessarily do not imply a good heart....in fact a lot of bad looking people are equally bad at heart being ridden by natural instincts of jealousy and inferiority complex.....so I tihnk it's basically person to person.....I just love the character of Dutta...very complex and very touching....but so not real....

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Roopa

@-Roopa-

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#15

Very interesting topic.. 😊

definitely men and women are from different planets..
men mostly look for the physical appearance at the first sight..very less men look for other aspects of women at their first meeting..over the time they might like the nature of women as well but her looks will top their list of preferences..

i agree that women too have become too fussy about selecting their partners.. this might be because they expect a lot from men which also includes their looks.. but in general women being very emotional beings looking for love, respect and understanding from men will eventually get attracted to men whose overall personality is appealing..
there might be very few exceptions in both the cases..

i have seen many couples where wife is very beautiful and men are very average looking but very rarely have seen the opposite..

nakusha has been mainly attracted to dutta for his goodness and if he was not at all good looking, nakku would have still fallen for him for his nature and in reality too we can find such women..

now if dutta was for real he would have never fallen for nakku .. at the most he would have become a very good friend .. this is the harsh reality and if there are men like dutta in reality, i would like to know where such men are...

Edited by victory_2010 - 15 years ago

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nightoffullmoon

@nightoffullmoon

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#16

I agree...Dutta isnt real. Very few men are like Dutta. What MR said in his interview is right. Most people whether men or women want a good looking partner.
But then again for both men or woman its their experiences that shape their personality and thinking. While a younger man...college or in his first job would look for a beautiful partner. Thats why in college and initial days of job there is intense peer pressure. This emphasis on looks reduces with time as experiences add on. But even then everyone wants a pleasant looking partner.
Coming to Dutta...his experience with his first love and then later his experiences in the underworld have made him the person he is today. If his first love would have been say Naku I am sure he would have been a different person.[/QUOTE]

I think it is precisely his experience with the underworld and the disappointments in love, that have made him even open upto a person like Nakku.

Minus those experiences, if Dutta had encountered Nakku before Seema happened, he would not even have noticed her. Because he too was young and had the aspirations of a typical younger man.

I think we are overrating the emotional connection, respect, understanding bit being important to women.

Women too have looks as priority, but it is hardwired in them that they need security (because they will bear children) and need to be looked after. So, while they would love have a good looking man, it is security that takes precedence. Even if they want to be with a good looking person, there will be enough people around them telling them, he has no great job, no education...etc.

Seema and Dutta are an example. Dutta was young and and good looking, Seema chose his older and average looking boss, because he, well, "showed her the money". You can have psychiatry, evolutionary biology explain it for you.

Good looks means better genes, better natural selection, greater chances of survival of species. In the animal world, looks or strength are critical to mating and survival of species.

We humans have consider ourselves a level above, because we evolved culture and society, social structures. Though we are still like animals deep down in our instincts and behaviours, we have reason and culture that tells us not to discriminate against the not-so good looking ones, and they will survive only if they can also find someone. So, we collectively must have come up with the idea about looking beyond looks, appreciating a person's core or essence, etc.

That reminds me...there was a time in Europe where you needed a license to marry, for which you had to establish that you had enough to feed your family. Many people who did not have any means of livelihood or worked as servants in royal households had themselves no hope for ever finding a partner or marrying.

Well off men married women for their looks and how much money they could bring. Women married men on the basis of how much money and security they had.

Industrial revolution, evolution of cities changed things, everyone could find a livelihood and a hence partner. So, even the poor could dream of marriage.

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nightoffullmoon

@nightoffullmoon

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: oddgalout
My (a bit cynical) take on this is that it is almost a clear-cut split between the good looking people and average/below-average looking people. Those who fall into the former category (particularly men) feel they are due a good looking partner. Hence I think almost unanimously that whole cohort of individuals never possess those qualities that we swoon over in regards to Dutta - the indifference to looks, primarily giving attention to one's heart and good intentions, etc. They know they look good and are very much conscious of it.

At the same time I feel those that fall in the latter category - there are many people in that group who possess all these qualities that we find so attractive. It is almost like they are trying their level best to compensate for not being so good looking by having these other great qualities. They of course don't live up to the good looks because they aren't apparent in a passing glance. That is probably why almost everyone of us sometime or another has seen a pair and wondered - 'wonder why someone as gorgeous as her would want to be with somebody who looks like him?' or vice versa.

Dutta's likes are the rare type that are a sort of a combination of both of best worlds and so quite honestly I don't think a good 95% of us would've found anything particularly great in him if he didn't have the good looks and charm as part and parcel of his character. We would've ultimately seen him as the average/ugly sweet guy - sadly almost like the 'nice loser' a la SRK's character in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi who gets lucky with having a ugly ducking who is actually beautiful fall for him. It wouldn't have been nearly as magical and so darn appealing like it currently is. And it's not just his looks - it is the power factor too. Just the way the guys are notoriously known to be drawn good looks I'd say we are drawn to the power factor - hence that strange appeal with these don type love stories. A good looking guy with a power factor more then doubles the appeal factor. So in the bigger picture we (and in particular men) just historically and universally are quite a superficial species - ouch.

Very true. Aap ne mere muh ki baat cheen li. You have just said all that I want to say.

In fact, I do remember not being very sympathetic to his story about turning into a Bhao. I remember feeling angry and disappointed with Dutta for his misdirected anger. How could a girl's betrayal and insult drive you to take someone's life? Only for money? Making more money? Somehow I did not quite swallow that part.

But then when he told Nakku about the torment he feels each time he hears the screams, I felt, OK, this guy still has a conscience, and I stopped judging him.

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487977

Suspended

Posted: 15 years ago

#18

i dnt think men like dutta do exist in reality.sooo pure nd high in his values.if naku existed in reality i dnt think she wld hv got dutta coz men like him cn never exist.even MR in his interview said he wants a girl who is presentable nd gud luking.so dats what every men want.i dnt understand why most of d men r like this 😲
1 mre thing to add didnt dutta said "bhag raha hun in gore chehron se"wasnt it so unlike dutta bt if dat was he said it meant dat initially he was like other men too.or else what did make him fall for supriya 😡 😡 why was he admiring her watching her dance.wasnt it just coz of her luks 😕 😕. so it was circumstances which changed him i guess 😕 😕 nd d fact dat he befrndd naku despite of her color nd ugliness is just simple dat he is a normal human-being.making frnds nd falling in luv is entirly different things i suppose 😕 😕

Edited by shikhachopra - 15 years ago