How bad really were Deepu's rishtas?

Listening to Baby Mausi's list:

1. The first prospective bride really had no faults: her story seemed a bit like Sushma's in terms of being married to a drunk, and pulling out after night 1 when she found out, and refusing to submit to the drunken dulha. How is that her fault? Surely, the Sharmas would like someone in future to accept Sushma? This girl seemed way better than Sushma. Padma rejecting this girl, who was otherwise perfect, was completely hollow. Of course, needless to say, Padma doesn't have a clue about the Golden Rule.
2. The second prospect sounded like Jyoti, just as the first one sounded like Sushma: her husband turned her out. I can understand Jyoti walking out of the room. But again, wouldn't the Sharmas like Jyoti too to re-marry, if she got divorced? And unlike Jyoti and Sushma, neither of the first 2 girls were ever pregnant, or else that too would have been mentioned.
3. The third prospect was marginally older than Deepu. Okay, that may be considered legitimate, but for Padma to reject her b'cos another guy associated his name w/ hers, defaming her in the process, was heights. After all, that was precisely what Brij did to Jyoti in the eyes of the Vashisths.
   

Aside from the third (where age might be a legitimate concern), the examples thrown up were all girls who were in better situations than Jyoti or Sushma. Yet, neither Padma nor Dadi thinks them acceptable. If that's their outlook, how do they ever expect anybody to be more generous towards either Jyoti or Sushma?

Methinks this would have gone better had Deepu, KK, Jyoti and Sushma been there, and Dadi and Padma been left out of the selection process. Imagine a Sushma being rejected by a Padma in this process, where the Sushma in question is not the beti, but the would-be bahu.

If Deepu doesn't get Panchi, he should be open to accepting someone like this, considering that he too would probably want Jyoti & Sushma to get a do-over. Not that that should be the overriding criteria.

Vrisha,

I completely agree with you, but this hypocrisy in our society is very real. There are two reasons

(1) Padma thinks that since her golden son Deepu is "faultless" unlike his sisters, he deserves a similarly "faultless" son. She, for e.g., wouldn't mind re-marrying Sushma to a divorcee.

(2) The "respect" factor works in such a way that tying a marriage relationship to girls who are considered "stained" in our society e.g. those who are divorced or with ex-bfs etc, would bring disrespect to the family. I don't think the fear here is as much about the girl's character or personality, as of their "izzat" in society if such a girl comes as a "bahu". Although what izzat after her own daughter slept around, aborted, didn't even complete high-school and is now pregnant, I don't really know...

-mythily

I meant a similarly "faultless" daughter-in-law in (1)

mythily

Good points. Heights was in an episode a couple of weeks back, when Minal's FIL Kesav-ji told Bhairavi that due to Uday leaving that Kota girl high and dry, nobody wanted to marry their sons to her - they thought that Uday had discovered something about her that made him want to back out, and as a result, she was considered tainted. So tainted, that if asked to marry a blind divorcee like Pankaj, her family have no objections.

What had she done? Nothing!!! She hadn't slept around, hadn't even married!!! All she had done was go to an engagement ceremony where her would-be saas was of one plan, and her would-not-be hubby a totally different one. As a result, while Uday has his well deserved happiness w/ Sudha, this Kota girl's marriage prospects are damaged.

If that family looked around, they'd be sure to find a lot of guys like Deepu, Vishal amongst others. All they need to do is not lock their daughter to families like the Vashisths. And even Padma would be unlikely to object to such a girl for Deepu.

In today's episode, when Poonam asked Padma whether she'd have allowed Deepu to marry a divorcee, Deepu got pissed & yelled @ her. But while Poonam's statement may have undoubtedly been unsupportive, she was certainly accurate in her above observation.

Remember in January, when the Sharmas were bride hunting for Deepu, the above incident listed in the first post w/ Baby Mausi happened, where a number of rishtas were brought to Padma, that included divorcees who were in actually better situations than either Jyoti or Sushma. Padma rejected them, and didn't allow any of them to get to him. Poonam's question might have been better directed @ Deepu - would he have married a Jyoti like girl who was divorced, had he met her? And would Padma have allowed it?

Originally posted by: Vrisha

In today's episode, when Poonam asked Padma whether she'd have allowed Deepu to marry a divorcee, Deepu got pissed & yelled @ her. But while Poonam's statement may have undoubtedly been unsupportive, she was certainly accurate in her above observation.

Remember in January, when the Sharmas were bride hunting for Deepu, the above incident listed in the first post w/ Baby Mausi happened, where a number of rishtas were brought to Padma, that included divorcees who were in actually better situations than either Jyoti or Sushma. Padma rejected them, and didn't allow any of them to get to him. Poonam's question might have been better directed @ Deepu - would he have married a Jyoti like girl who was divorced, had he met her? And would Padma have allowed it?

poonam's charcter is one of the more real characters in the show which the creatives have now decided to make vampish in sum logic tht surpasses my thinking ability..she has generally made the most practical assessments of situations and taken steps accordingly..her problem is tht she dsnt know when to shut up or back down..and ends up sounding insensitive..

well simply agree with all of u guyz. brilliant points put ahead👍🏼 ... surely padma thinks that her son is the world's best son & deserves the best. why only padma every mother-father think the same for their child. while considering a DIL, yes nobody wants a single spot in the girl. it's always the girl who is blamed in the society no matter what happens & a girl who is blamed by the society has no rights to live her dreamz... this is what the society has done all the time😡 a girl is surrounded by restrictions. she shud be clean in all aspects then only she is considered the perfect choice for DIL otherwise she is rejected just as u all said. padma rejected all the three girls bcoz they had some spots according to padma & were thus not marriage material...